Why do Indians absolutely everywhere type English the same way? Never please, it’s always “pls” so fricking unprofessional dealing with these shits at my old job
That's not an English thing but IT/dev thing, PR or Pull Request is sort of a mechanism git (version control) has for external users to submit changes they made to your open source projects.
Poojeets and useless morons begging for jobs like this homosexual always end up extensively modifying dumbest shit like documentation or code comments fricking everywhere as to engross their own activity in their chosen git platform so they look like they're worthy contributors. As you might imagine they're not, they're fricking garbage, avoid hiring like plague.
See
and enjoy your spoon feed.
Also that guy turbo-seething about the Unreal thing was great, wish I saved it.
>documentation isn’t important.
Hobbisit spotted. That’s how new people learn your program by going through documentation, then they see something not documented Becuase you are a lazy shitty programmer, have to spend 4 hours figuring it out, and then want to document it so the next guy doesn’t have to waste 4 hours. The stuff that is obvious to you won’t be to the guy that replaces you.
Not that you freshmen would know anything, they haven’t made good manuals since the 1990s, you wouldn’t get it
>abloobloobloo documentation isn’t important
Never did I say or even imply that in my post, you know well what I was talking about you disingenuous homosexualron, or at least should if you're such a "veteran" as you say.
Lmfao what a homosexual. He's going to be the office b***h and will be doing 3x the work he signed up for and will get passed up for every promotion while the people his bosses actually like and respect soar past him.
>late 30s >have absolutely nothing on my resume except my college and university and my current job of the last three years at a fricking grocery store >gaps everywhere
seriously bros do SOMETHING while you're young, anything otherwise you reach a point where it's literally over
I applied to Google from a relatively known company (but not a gayMAN) and I completely lied about my job history
I also gave myself 2 promotions on the way so I could apply for the staff engineering position
At the end of the process they do a background check on you to confirm that what you said was true, and guess what?
It came back clean as a whistle.
tl;dr just get rid of your LinkedIn and lie about your job history on your resume.
You need to do the nuclear option and join some form of the military reserves. They will take you at your age and provide technical training and a security clearance
Lie homie lie. Even highly educated freshly graduated classmate lie their ass off about internships or whatever. Just learn the information to be able to bullshit the interview.
Say you worked for Company X (in another part of the country) doing something transferrable to the job you're applying for, then use a "former manager's" personal email so you can end up writing your own references. Unless you're doing brain surgery or rocket science there is zero reason not to lie your arse off (within 2 standard deviations)
>Unless you're doing brain surgery or rocket science there is zero reason not to lie your arse off (within 2 standard deviations) >This
It's hilarious to me that people who didn't graduate high school (also fricking hilarious btw) will go back and get their GED instead of just lying and saying the graduated high school. Who the frick would ever not believe someone who said the graduated high school? The only actual requirement is to just show up and you don't even have to do that half the time. All GED applicants should be immediately tossed out for being too stupid to understand how worthless a high school diploma actually is. I'm pretty sure this is true for most college degrees too tbh.
They do it because for the types of jobs a high school dropout who actually wants to make something of himself applies to, high school/GED actually is the main barrier of entry and they actually will check for it. Trade unions and the military for example.
I mean yeah a white collar office job isn’t gonna check that you graduated high school or not but most dropouts aren’t applying for those jobs.
You network with people you've met at a party or with people in your company or their own connections. You just don't go trying to connect with strangers in the same field. That's like "going out and hitting the pavement."
Because they don't know you? Because it's weird? When I used to actually look at LinkedIn, I'd get random requests all the time. b***h, I don't know you, frick off.
Before you lecture me about the world of employment and networking, I've already gotten almost most of my jobs because of people I knew. All except my current one, which incidentally has people I used to work with in it.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>I got my job solely because of who I knew >I can't understand why someone would try to connect with someone that could potentially help do the same
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Showing up to an office on my first job and seeing a college classmate who ran up to me and gave me a hug influenced the hiring manager. Second job, my sister recommended me because she knew the boss and I didn't even have to submit an application.
vs.
Connecting with random strangers like "hey! we do the same thing, we should be friends!" is impotent as frick. Have actual connections, not random strangers. You don't even know if they're toxic to be associated with or not.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
we get it buddy, you're a nepo babby
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Are you surprised the person defending the psycho in that post is using the "muh bootstraps" argument?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
It's not that weird. I've had strangers connect with me and I accept because I could not care less. It doesn't matter at all, only boomers overthink it
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
This, I accept literally every connection, I see no downside to it. Wherever you apply the HR people are going to go through your profiles and without these random connections I would have fricking nothing on my profile.
Of course I'm not advising to connect with a thousand randoms or whatever but it's better to have some random connections instead of nothing.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>This, I accept literally every connection, I see no downside to it.
I see you have never been hounded by 30+ recruiter requests from India within a few days, all offering the same position
>We have never met. We have never posted together. You are quite a newbie on how Pepe images work with senior frogposters. Apparently you have heard that I produce a Pepe folder and decided it would be stunningly helpful for your frogposting prospects if I shared my 960+ Pepe images with you - a total stranger who has nothing to offer me.
>What exactly did you just audaciously assert about me, you little neophyte? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at the University of Phoenix Online, and I’ve been involved in numerous confidential job placements, and I have over 300 confirmed hires. I am trained in virtual recruitment and I’m the top networker in the entire online education sector. You are nothing to me but just another job seeker. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on LinkedIn, mark my words. >You think you can get away with sending that kind of message to me over the Internet? Think again, job hunter. As we speak I am contacting my secretive network of HR professionals across the USA and your LinkedIn profile is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your career prospects. You’re virtually unemployable, kid. I can reject your job application anywhere, anytime, and I can disqualify you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. >Not only am I extensively trained in online vetting, but I have access to the entire database of the Mesa and Scottsdale chamber of commerce network and I will use it to its full extent to ensure you never find placement, you little pest. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” application was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your desperate typing. >But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fool. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re done, kiddo.
a practical example of how time is not necessarily money. I just ignore messages or invitations if I'm not interested, but that c**t already has the money so she doesn't need to think of time obviously, or she's moronic and forgot what her job is.
While her condescending tone is absolutely worthy of being stoned to death in the middle of a mudhut village somewhere, she IS still 100% correct. I now know I am for sure correct about Linkedin just being a test to weed out applicants who are too moronic to be given a position that's worth anything.
The CEO of a great company was awaiting an interviewee for a new position. But he was late.
The young interviewee showed up and said he was very sorry. The bus had exploded and he ran through the streets. Now he looked upon the CEO and extended his foreskin to envelope the entire desk.
"Yes, you were late. Yet you ran here and swallowed the entire furniture with your foreskin. Now sir you have a new job," said the CEO.
This bullshit is why I support a federal jobs guarantee. Give everyone a guaranteed job that can pay the bills, if the private sector wants to compete they have to treat their workers like gods.
The funny thing is that there are a million useful jobs NEETs could actually do, and as much as they go on about their NEETdom pride or whatever if the government gave them a clean, nice place to live alone and a living wage that gave them enough leftover for their hobbies they'd probably have no issue working at their computer 5 days a week.
>The funny thing is that there are a million useful jobs NEETs could actually do,
Like what? Don't say "forklift operator," I worked for a grocery distribution center, the warehouse constantly fired people for not making quotas.
>might want to check again.
Sure.
How did 3% of the workforce magically increase wages and living conditions for 97% of the workforce?
You seem like a good lad. I have this smashing offer in primary energy source production. You will operate heavy machinery, can have a bird with you, you get housing and you can get all you need from the company store.
How's that sound, champ? Nobody needs unions anyway.
>Nobody needs unions anyway.
Agreed, all they do is frick over non-union labor and cause massive economic stagnation.
Unions are partially what ruined Argentina.
You seem like a good lad. I have this smashing offer in primary energy source production. You will operate heavy machinery, can have a bird with you, you get housing and you can get all you need from the company store.
How's that sound, champ? Nobody needs unions anyway.
I'm 25 years old, I dropped out of university during covid and I've only worked as a waiter, which is fun, but I can't see me doing that in my 50's.
How fricked am I.
I mean, I get that, but at least people with degrees have the hope of finding a real job later in life.
Plus, I feel so fricking ashamed I couldn't finish college it's eating me inside whenever it comes up.
I knew a lady in her fifties that waited tables with me. One day, we got little cards that had the year we first started working there printed on it. I looked at hers and looked up at her and said "you've been working here as long as I've been alive."
That is the price of fricking off your youth and not being financially responsible. You will be doing dead end minimum wage work with people literally half your age or younger and probably report to bosses who are younger than you and have been in the business for less time than you. A demeaning, humiliating life awaits everyone who refuses to plan for the future.
>That is the price of fricking off your youth and not being financially responsible.
So what, am I supposed to waste my youth trying to overachieve in high school, then overachieve in college, then overachieve in my office job? Where I will still be totally prone to getting laid off or passed up for promotion?
I guess. It's just really not what I pictured in my life. I'm gonna sound so stuck up, but I were a good student and proud of it, so when I burnt out, I seriously was at a loss.
It's never too late, anon. I've returned to study to actually finish one of my degrees and I'm in my late 30s.
Have you considered returning to college once COVID and the riots are over?
Wish I could, but that's not how it works in my country. I can't go back. Not that I think I could even finish if I did.
I think the important part is to either to study up on something or just try and keep moving upward, like IT certs for example even though you'd have to compete with Rajesh and friends
Too many people get stuck in a rut in the same job for ages rather than moving on to better paid positions constantly making excuses for themselves ("oh I can't be a manager, because...")
Depends on how much debt you have. If you have little to no debt at 25 then you're totally fine and can always look around and try new jobs until you find something that's alright. Be smart with your money and don't blow it on buying a brand new $40k car when you only make $20 an hour or get yourself a mortgage on a house you absolutely can't afford and you'll likely be able to find a decent path in life.
That happened when my mom first set up hers. Motherfrickers are thirsty no matter how explicitly tied to their real and professional lives their posts will be
I work as a software developer and young pretty women are messaging me and asking me to come to some interviews all the fricking time.
I have a job I'm quite happy with but no gf, I wish there was some way to get them to date me or something but I know that's gonna work. Sucks.
If youre ugly or something just make money and learn to dress reasonably well. Dating isnt as hard as people make it out to be. The hard part isnt getting a woman to date you, the hard part is finding a social pool that has women you can interact with. Go out with people frim work and meet people they know
Pretty women work in recruiting Becuase it’s a bullshit halftime job with full time pay, the fathered in ceo who doesn’t work with line employees likes to have them around.
It’s like you don’t even watch movies. Don’t you know anything?
They are always the best dressed in the office,
>Make linkedin profile because a guy at work told me it's the way to go for getting a new job >Mostly spammed by recruiters for jobs I don't want >Demoralised seeing "100+ applications" for this job everywhere >End up getting a job that I applied for outside of linkedin anyway
I should probably just delete it tbh, don't like having my name out there
>youve worked at the same job since you graduated college because youve become too moronic at this point to pass a basic competency test for any other job in your field Mr Lebowski?
I’ve never gotten a job through LinkedIn or any other job service like Indeed or whatever.
I always just look up companies that look reputable with a long track record of good work and send then an email with my résumé through the Contact Us page on their website.
I have received 4 job offers and 2 jobs over the 6.5 years I’ve been in the workforce. And actually in all cases they said it made me stand out over the masses of applications they get through recruiters & job boards and that it showed initiative.
I work in construction management tho so this might not work for a more gay, pozzed field like tech.
Those pozzed jobs are entirely based on networking. They have nothing to do with merit. I have a pretty damned good resume and education background, I get an interview follow-up for 1 out of every 10-15 applications I put in. Companies post jobs to meet legal requirements. The jobs you see online usually dont exist in those career fields (meaning they are already filled).
>I work in construction management tho so this might not work for a more gay, pozzed field like tech.
The difference is that tech has to filter out literally tens of thousands of morons who want 90k entry level but have no experience at all and can't actually do anything unsupervised. This happens all the time "oh I want to work in cyber security" "ok get a lvl1 help desk job and get some exp" "no, look at all these certs I have".
>Nah, israelitedIn is a total meme built for parasitic, sociopathic narcissists, women with overpaid, bullshit, email and phone jobs, and asian spammers and scammers.
>You..you don't actually have one, do you? Me, i'm too busy actually working to frick around on social media all day.
LinkedIn is useful for getting notifications on job openings. It kind of learns what kind of jobs interest you over time so it is semi useful, although not all companies use it.
But everything else about it is useless.
And if you want to apply for the job openings, find them on the company website and definitely do not apply through linkedin.
My manager asked me to create one so I can watch the free courses on linkedin learning. The yearly bonus (only half of my fricking monthly wage) is tied to these made up personal goals.
Yes. I pretty much only use have it to keep a copy of my work history, search for jobs and for recruitment consultants to solicit me. Browsing the feed can be funny sometimes since everyone there is so ridiculous.
If you’re a normie with a good personality and/or an attractive woman you will make six figures in a sales job easy.
It is hilarious watching incels with an intellectual superiority complex grinding it out as a software developer for $120k/yr while Emily the dumbfrick ex sorority sloot marketing major banks $200k/yr as a SaaS account executive because she’s hot and personable.
Almost all earning potential is governed by personality and attractiveness/image.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I said white collar job, not pure undistilled bullshit job. Plus, I doubt that c**t will have a firm handshake.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Software sales is the most cushy white collar job there is lmao majority of it is work from home and 99% of it is just making friends and schmoozing
>You get jobs through networking or nepotism nowadays
Or unironically by not being a shitter and having a firm handshake.
I am currently at over 600 and experiencing this also
it has never been about applying
applying is the formality to accompany the free job your friend who you caught flashing his benis at strangers once and told you his uncle runs a law firm- gave you
>Ah, yes, I see you have your degree here... >And you had how many internships? I don't see them >Oh, you had... none? >*stifles laughter* >Well, to be frank... this has never happened before... this is an entry level position after all, generally we expect some form of work experience >I'll tell you what, anon, we'll call you >You can show yourself out, I assume?
I only have my current job that's pretty good and pays well because a guy at the local bar asked my brother if he knew anyone looking for an IT job. I almost didn't get it but a few months later this fat black lady died and they really needed someone.
Life is funny.
I just want to remind you that my resume specifically mentions that I’m insane, professionally diagnosed by a doctor. It appears that you just want to hire me so I can burn down the building and that you can collect the insurance money afterwards. I just want to make that very clear 😉
What I’m trying to say is that in the end you’ll be to blame for the fire, not me, a crazy person.
Officer, my boss told me to do it so he could claim the insurance money. He manipulated me, a crazy person, for his own gain.
Arrest that bastard boss! *shouts my mom in the back*
>made Linkedin profile one week after my graduation >photo taken the day of the graduation ceremony, never changed it in 8 years >never posted anything >never liked anything >only sent one friend request to my gf >just mass accept whomever adds me (including any indian and chinese randos) once a month >have like 1000+ contacts >still get bombarded by messages from recruiters >ignore them all usually >when I’m tired of a job I open some of the new messages and set up a few interviews >always get a few offers >ghost the recruiters after turning down the shit offers (they hate that) >update my company and don’t touch the app for months after getting a new job
I can’t believe people actually post their personal life on that cesspool, almost makes you wish for some Maoist reforms.
>I can’t believe people actually post their personal life on that cesspool
I think it's a test for employers to see just how fricking moronic potential employees are. If they treat linkedin like fb/ig/twitter they get immediately rejected for being too stupid to be trusted with anything beyond making hamburgers at mcdonalds.
It’s a fine line though because in certain industries if you’ve got an empty LinkedIn with no posts and less than 500+ followers/connections and overall very little social media footprint you’re seen as an asocial weirdo and it’s a mark against you.
This is also why having a significant other, and in particular being married, is a massive leg up in the job market. That scene from The Departed is right. It’s proof of normalcy.
that’s why you specialize so much that even the corporate world must bend to your big asocial dick and beg you to come work for them.
specialists are always weirdos.
>It’s proof of normalcy.
Yes, this. If a woman trusted you enough to marry you, then at least you aren't a schizo who was able to pretend to be sane for the few hours that we knew you during interviews.
Also, if you have a wife (and children), it means you'll be much more likely to accept shitty workload and other bullshit, because you have a family to feed and you can't just snap and say "frick you, I'm walking out of here right this second" (or the closest legal equivalent depending on your country and its employment laws).
>if you have a wife (and children), it means you'll be much more likely to accept shitty workload and other bullshit, because you have a family to feed and you can't just snap and say "frick you, I'm walking out of here right this second" (or the closest legal equivalent depending on your country and its employment laws).
Are there any actual benefits for a man to get married anymore? It's literally all just liability and vulnerability for men now.
one of the benefits is you get to impress recruiters on Linkedin.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I wouldn't exactly call that a benefit
If you find a quality woman then yes, it is an incredibly advantageous legal instrument that allows for massive social and financial gains.
>If you find a quality woman then yes
This is what makes marriage such a risky deal. Finding an actual quality woman and then hoping she'll remain a quality woman for her entire lifetime is basically the same as playing the lottery these days. Sure, it's great if you hit the lottery, but the majority of tickets just end up in wasted money and time.
>Yes, this. If a woman trusted you enough to marry you, then at least you aren't a schizo who was able to pretend to be sane for the few hours that we knew you during interviews.
That's bullshit, I know a recently divorced guy with stellar LinkedIn profile, he's a rapist and a massive c**t. Contrary to what Cinemaphile believes, woman are blind and will marry anything with a dick
>he's a rapist and a massive c**t
Irrelevant. He still has his life together at a level where a woman marries him.
As opposed to someone non-functioning who was able to trick you for the 3-4 hours that you spent with him in interviews and then had a schizo fit of wailing at home and throwing up from nervousness for 35 hours but you didn't see it.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>As opposed to someone non-functioning who was able to trick you for the 3-4 hours that you spent with him in interviews and then had a schizo fit of wailing at home and throwing up from nervousness for 35 hours but you didn't see it.
brutal thread
>Have worked for 4 years at 2 different companies >Only ever added my direct team members/co-workers on LinkedIn because I know them well enough to do so >Have a grand total of 29 connections
Do I have to go full Facebook and just add anyone in the company that I'm vaguely aware of exists? Why do they fricking care about how much connections you have if everyone is just adding random people to pump up their number of connections. This feels like high school shit instead of a professional website.
makes sense. I mean it’s more pathetic and depressing than any other social media by far, at least on insta you know its pure narcissism, here it is narcissism dressed in wagie clothes, like you have just had a child brother, why the frick are you posting about shit related to your middle management job and comparing the two? ffs
I kid you not, In september 2023 I think it was, I applied online for a freaking dishwasher position and they had the gall to ask for fricking references. Turns out they actually fricking called my past work and references. My last job was dishwashing and didn’t pay as well as this new dishwasher job and the Lady interviewing me for the new dishwasher job told me she called them up and they told her good things about me being a hardworker (lol). Thats how gay the israeliteS job market is nowadays is that you have to have a fricking interview for a dishwasher position in addition to fricking reference checks
Nibbas be out here applying with the most ghetto ass homemade resume that they whipped up in Word in 20 minutes. 90% of them literally get auto-filtered by the application software if they’re not formatted right. And if you’re not constructing it properly on the off chance it makes it through to a real person - into the trash it goes.
Download a preset format that is tailored to avoid filters, fill it out, and pay $20 to send it off to a resume writer to touch it up. I swear to god if I see one more friend’s resume that has colors and pictures and shit on it and still mentions volunteer work they did when they were 17…
You're right, but it serves the purpose of being more professional than Facebook and allowing narcissistic "innovators" and "entrepreneurs" a place to gloat. Worthless to you and me, but if your ego depends on posting pictures with chessboards in the background, then it is invaluable.
>created a LinkedIn profile years ago >never checked it or updated it >decide to check on it recently >everyone posts moronic business advice
I now realize the website is a trap designed to make it easier for companies to do background checks
I left "looking for work" on and some fricking manager is begging me to work at their engineering company, cause I had a connection with one of their managers in his office.
So yeah, I guess I am getting a job without even sending out a single resume lol
I was planning on just chilling at home during the summer cause I dropped out. But I guess they want me to work. Oh well.
Yes, and Indians message me asking for a job several times a month.
Yes, but I don't even remember my password.
You could hire an indian to remember it for you saar
>If you haven't heard of me then I'm afraid you aren't worthy of my services.
>have you been networking, Lebowski?
>Do you have a social life, a girlfriend, your own house, and stable income, SIR?
>he didn't have a job interview pizza
If it ever gets to the point I have to do bullshit like this to get a job I'm just gonna start holding up liquor stores
humiliation ritual
this time it really is
The original humiliation ritual
Always has been
God I'm dreading entering the workforce once I graduate from college. This kind of obsequious pestering is so goddamn humiliating.
Do whatever you can to get a federal job. Start networking now.
The company should buy him pizza.
The company should buy him some cyanide or a dialator
It's literally over.
>Showing the glimpse of the chessboard in the image
This narcissist is so insecure about their moderately above average IQ
People that pose with chess are spiritual Black folk
Case in point: Andrew Tate.
If I pose with picrel, what does that make me?
>homosexual?
sure
>narcissist?
you have been reading tumblr
Good catch.
>NYU
No shit that guy is delivering pizza lmfao
Also
>Linkedin
Imagine, just imagine
Plot twist: the pizza was poisoned and he only gives them the antidote if he gets the job.
bet the internship is unpaid as well
Might want to check the grammar of their handwritten note first before shelling out money for this cuck shit.
>PR to fix some typos
into the trash it goes
>PR to fix some links
GODD MORNING DEAR SIRS
>that pic
I laughed hard.
Lmao I remember pulling out shit like that several times on a troll account, I don't even know why, guess I found it funny.
Why do Indians absolutely everywhere type English the same way? Never please, it’s always “pls” so fricking unprofessional dealing with these shits at my old job
Same reason Black folk talk like they do.
They learned it that way.
>The name Saanvi is a girl's name meaning "follower of Lakshmi".
Even their women are like this, wtf.
Sir, he's a David.
>internship
Also, I'm ESL, so what's a PR in this context?
That's not an English thing but IT/dev thing, PR or Pull Request is sort of a mechanism git (version control) has for external users to submit changes they made to your open source projects.
Poojeets and useless morons begging for jobs like this homosexual always end up extensively modifying dumbest shit like documentation or code comments fricking everywhere as to engross their own activity in their chosen git platform so they look like they're worthy contributors. As you might imagine they're not, they're fricking garbage, avoid hiring like plague.
See
and enjoy your spoon feed.
Also that guy turbo-seething about the Unreal thing was great, wish I saved it.
Ah I see. Sounds moronic.
Fricking saved.
>documentation isn’t important.
Hobbisit spotted. That’s how new people learn your program by going through documentation, then they see something not documented Becuase you are a lazy shitty programmer, have to spend 4 hours figuring it out, and then want to document it so the next guy doesn’t have to waste 4 hours. The stuff that is obvious to you won’t be to the guy that replaces you.
Not that you freshmen would know anything, they haven’t made good manuals since the 1990s, you wouldn’t get it
>abloobloobloo documentation isn’t important
Never did I say or even imply that in my post, you know well what I was talking about you disingenuous homosexualron, or at least should if you're such a "veteran" as you say.
Lmfao what a homosexual. He's going to be the office b***h and will be doing 3x the work he signed up for and will get passed up for every promotion while the people his bosses actually like and respect soar past him.
Yeah man, all the other interns who are alphas will be getting promoted all the time
Just the other day I walked past my intern CTO
>applying for a 0USD janny job
might as well be a code janny in some foss repository
He did the needful, goras could never
Maybe if normies stopped taking all the bad jobs employers would have to improve conditions?
But instead they jump through all the bullshit hoops, take all the abuse and then b***h about it impotently online for pity updoots.
>late 30s
>have absolutely nothing on my resume except my college and university and my current job of the last three years at a fricking grocery store
>gaps everywhere
seriously bros do SOMETHING while you're young, anything otherwise you reach a point where it's literally over
>"So could you please explain what you were up to during this period, anon?"
>took care of my sick parents
search for companies that failed/closed shop and fill those gaps
get a job at like target or costco for 6 months you fricking moron
They arent hiring. You need 5 years retail experience. Its unironically over.
Just lie like I do
I applied to Google from a relatively known company (but not a gayMAN) and I completely lied about my job history
I also gave myself 2 promotions on the way so I could apply for the staff engineering position
At the end of the process they do a background check on you to confirm that what you said was true, and guess what?
It came back clean as a whistle.
tl;dr just get rid of your LinkedIn and lie about your job history on your resume.
did it get you anywhere?
You need to do the nuclear option and join some form of the military reserves. They will take you at your age and provide technical training and a security clearance
Lie homie lie. Even highly educated freshly graduated classmate lie their ass off about internships or whatever. Just learn the information to be able to bullshit the interview.
Say you worked for Company X (in another part of the country) doing something transferrable to the job you're applying for, then use a "former manager's" personal email so you can end up writing your own references. Unless you're doing brain surgery or rocket science there is zero reason not to lie your arse off (within 2 standard deviations)
>Unless you're doing brain surgery or rocket science there is zero reason not to lie your arse off (within 2 standard deviations)
>This
It's hilarious to me that people who didn't graduate high school (also fricking hilarious btw) will go back and get their GED instead of just lying and saying the graduated high school. Who the frick would ever not believe someone who said the graduated high school? The only actual requirement is to just show up and you don't even have to do that half the time. All GED applicants should be immediately tossed out for being too stupid to understand how worthless a high school diploma actually is. I'm pretty sure this is true for most college degrees too tbh.
I imagine those people do it to remove what they see as a stain on their past character. Understandable.
They do it because for the types of jobs a high school dropout who actually wants to make something of himself applies to, high school/GED actually is the main barrier of entry and they actually will check for it. Trade unions and the military for example.
I mean yeah a white collar office job isn’t gonna check that you graduated high school or not but most dropouts aren’t applying for those jobs.
No sir, I don't engage in humiliation ritual
>has linkedin
>not allowed to use it
I mean why would you connect with someone you've never met or worked with? It's like friending a random person on Facebook.
To network.
You network with people you've met at a party or with people in your company or their own connections. You just don't go trying to connect with strangers in the same field. That's like "going out and hitting the pavement."
>You just don't go trying to connect with strangers in the same field
Why?
Because they don't know you? Because it's weird? When I used to actually look at LinkedIn, I'd get random requests all the time. b***h, I don't know you, frick off.
Before you lecture me about the world of employment and networking, I've already gotten almost most of my jobs because of people I knew. All except my current one, which incidentally has people I used to work with in it.
>I got my job solely because of who I knew
>I can't understand why someone would try to connect with someone that could potentially help do the same
Showing up to an office on my first job and seeing a college classmate who ran up to me and gave me a hug influenced the hiring manager. Second job, my sister recommended me because she knew the boss and I didn't even have to submit an application.
vs.
Connecting with random strangers like "hey! we do the same thing, we should be friends!" is impotent as frick. Have actual connections, not random strangers. You don't even know if they're toxic to be associated with or not.
we get it buddy, you're a nepo babby
Are you surprised the person defending the psycho in that post is using the "muh bootstraps" argument?
It's not that weird. I've had strangers connect with me and I accept because I could not care less. It doesn't matter at all, only boomers overthink it
This, I accept literally every connection, I see no downside to it. Wherever you apply the HR people are going to go through your profiles and without these random connections I would have fricking nothing on my profile.
Of course I'm not advising to connect with a thousand randoms or whatever but it's better to have some random connections instead of nothing.
>This, I accept literally every connection, I see no downside to it.
I see you have never been hounded by 30+ recruiter requests from India within a few days, all offering the same position
I went to a job seeking advice talk on my college and the HR woman there said you're supposed to do that
If you think she actully has +960 connections that she knows you are crazy
psychotic
>We have never met. We have never posted together. You are quite a newbie on how Pepe images work with senior frogposters. Apparently you have heard that I produce a Pepe folder and decided it would be stunningly helpful for your frogposting prospects if I shared my 960+ Pepe images with you - a total stranger who has nothing to offer me.
She runs a job bank and is mad that people looking for jobs try to connect to her on linkedin? I don't get it.
you gotta neg your customers standard operating procedure these days
Based professional dabbing on entitled networklets
>What exactly did you just audaciously assert about me, you little neophyte? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at the University of Phoenix Online, and I’ve been involved in numerous confidential job placements, and I have over 300 confirmed hires. I am trained in virtual recruitment and I’m the top networker in the entire online education sector. You are nothing to me but just another job seeker. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on LinkedIn, mark my words.
>You think you can get away with sending that kind of message to me over the Internet? Think again, job hunter. As we speak I am contacting my secretive network of HR professionals across the USA and your LinkedIn profile is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your career prospects. You’re virtually unemployable, kid. I can reject your job application anywhere, anytime, and I can disqualify you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
>Not only am I extensively trained in online vetting, but I have access to the entire database of the Mesa and Scottsdale chamber of commerce network and I will use it to its full extent to ensure you never find placement, you little pest. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” application was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your desperate typing.
>But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn fool. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re done, kiddo.
imagine hatefricking her, I'd probably faint
can I get a nosecheck?
>she wrote that for free
a practical example of how time is not necessarily money. I just ignore messages or invitations if I'm not interested, but that c**t already has the money so she doesn't need to think of time obviously, or she's moronic and forgot what her job is.
Was this a random invite?
If she's running a "job bank", why is she so upset?
I think I'm missing something here.
Also, would.
She was right.
While her condescending tone is absolutely worthy of being stoned to death in the middle of a mudhut village somewhere, she IS still 100% correct. I now know I am for sure correct about Linkedin just being a test to weed out applicants who are too moronic to be given a position that's worth anything.
https://www.cleveland.com/business/2014/02/job_bank_head_kelly_blazeks_sc.html
She looks like she gives a mean rimjob.
The CEO of a great company was awaiting an interviewee for a new position. But he was late.
The young interviewee showed up and said he was very sorry. The bus had exploded and he ran through the streets. Now he looked upon the CEO and extended his foreskin to envelope the entire desk.
"Yes, you were late. Yet you ran here and swallowed the entire furniture with your foreskin. Now sir you have a new job," said the CEO.
Thoughts?
>Thoughts?
that's a big foreskin
This bullshit is why I support a federal jobs guarantee. Give everyone a guaranteed job that can pay the bills, if the private sector wants to compete they have to treat their workers like gods.
The funny thing is that there are a million useful jobs NEETs could actually do, and as much as they go on about their NEETdom pride or whatever if the government gave them a clean, nice place to live alone and a living wage that gave them enough leftover for their hobbies they'd probably have no issue working at their computer 5 days a week.
>The funny thing is that there are a million useful jobs NEETs could actually do,
Like what? Don't say "forklift operator," I worked for a grocery distribution center, the warehouse constantly fired people for not making quotas.
Commies, get out
Another chud voting against his own economic interests!
How does creating an entire society of people beholden to the ruling class for food and shelter benefit anyone except the ruling class?
or just join a union you dumb c**t.
>my rights come from politicians
yea nah m8 check your labour movement history.
>the government should waste resources and cause inflation and poverty simply so useless people can get a job
end your life
>statism and poverty is in my interests
LOL
>labour movement history.
I checked it. It says they did literally nothing to improve conditions and wages for workers.
>It says they did literally nothing to improve conditions and wages for workers.
might want to check again.
>might want to check again.
Sure.
How did 3% of the workforce magically increase wages and living conditions for 97% of the workforce?
>Nobody needs unions anyway.
Agreed, all they do is frick over non-union labor and cause massive economic stagnation.
Unions are partially what ruined Argentina.
>wojak
You seem like a good lad. I have this smashing offer in primary energy source production. You will operate heavy machinery, can have a bird with you, you get housing and you can get all you need from the company store.
How's that sound, champ? Nobody needs unions anyway.
>Reddit spacing
Yikes Cinemaphile really is a leftist board and we are under attack
Every government employee is useless parasite. Imagine wanting everyone to become exactly like them, led by the same people.
That might work with a better immigration policy and a less inefficient govt., but the US has neither.
I had a federal job and got laid off when we didnt get funding the following year. Job security is bad unless theyre full time which is rare
I'm 25 years old, I dropped out of university during covid and I've only worked as a waiter, which is fun, but I can't see me doing that in my 50's.
How fricked am I.
We're all fricked, anon.
I mean, I get that, but at least people with degrees have the hope of finding a real job later in life.
Plus, I feel so fricking ashamed I couldn't finish college it's eating me inside whenever it comes up.
It's never too late, anon. I've returned to study to actually finish one of my degrees and I'm in my late 30s.
Have you considered returning to college once COVID and the riots are over?
Hasn't that shit been over for years?
This, I plan to die early in order to solve retirement
I knew a lady in her fifties that waited tables with me. One day, we got little cards that had the year we first started working there printed on it. I looked at hers and looked up at her and said "you've been working here as long as I've been alive."
Brutal
That is the price of fricking off your youth and not being financially responsible. You will be doing dead end minimum wage work with people literally half your age or younger and probably report to bosses who are younger than you and have been in the business for less time than you. A demeaning, humiliating life awaits everyone who refuses to plan for the future.
>That is the price of fricking off your youth and not being financially responsible.
So what, am I supposed to waste my youth trying to overachieve in high school, then overachieve in college, then overachieve in my office job? Where I will still be totally prone to getting laid off or passed up for promotion?
Life seems like a double bladed sword.
There’s plenty of old man waiters at steak houses/fine dining. If you get into a good place it can definitely be a career.
I guess. It's just really not what I pictured in my life. I'm gonna sound so stuck up, but I were a good student and proud of it, so when I burnt out, I seriously was at a loss.
Wish I could, but that's not how it works in my country. I can't go back. Not that I think I could even finish if I did.
What country do you live in where you're never permitted to return to higher education?
Greece.
What? I'm from there too, that's not true. I think.
I think the important part is to either to study up on something or just try and keep moving upward, like IT certs for example even though you'd have to compete with Rajesh and friends
Too many people get stuck in a rut in the same job for ages rather than moving on to better paid positions constantly making excuses for themselves ("oh I can't be a manager, because...")
Depends on how much debt you have. If you have little to no debt at 25 then you're totally fine and can always look around and try new jobs until you find something that's alright. Be smart with your money and don't blow it on buying a brand new $40k car when you only make $20 an hour or get yourself a mortgage on a house you absolutely can't afford and you'll likely be able to find a decent path in life.
I’ve never had LinkedIn, but a lot of girls I’ve talked to said they just get guys hitting on them on it.
>guys
*pajeets
they are all over the platform recruiting for imaginary positions and attempting to "network" with people
That happened when my mom first set up hers. Motherfrickers are thirsty no matter how explicitly tied to their real and professional lives their posts will be
I work as a software developer and young pretty women are messaging me and asking me to come to some interviews all the fricking time.
I have a job I'm quite happy with but no gf, I wish there was some way to get them to date me or something but I know that's gonna work. Sucks.
that's not gonna work* I'm drunk already.
If you know it will work just do it
If youre ugly or something just make money and learn to dress reasonably well. Dating isnt as hard as people make it out to be. The hard part isnt getting a woman to date you, the hard part is finding a social pool that has women you can interact with. Go out with people frim work and meet people they know
Never mind I just jerked off which took me a long ass time because of whiskey dick and I don't want a gf anymore.
Pretty women work in recruiting Becuase it’s a bullshit halftime job with full time pay, the fathered in ceo who doesn’t work with line employees likes to have them around.
It’s like you don’t even watch movies. Don’t you know anything?
They are always the best dressed in the office,
Never mingle woman and work
This is a good way to get title IXed in your workplace if one of these women fricks you and didn't get a job in the end
>Make linkedin profile because a guy at work told me it's the way to go for getting a new job
>Mostly spammed by recruiters for jobs I don't want
>Demoralised seeing "100+ applications" for this job everywhere
>End up getting a job that I applied for outside of linkedin anyway
I should probably just delete it tbh, don't like having my name out there
>youve worked at the same job since you graduated college because youve become too moronic at this point to pass a basic competency test for any other job in your field Mr Lebowski?
I’ve never gotten a job through LinkedIn or any other job service like Indeed or whatever.
I always just look up companies that look reputable with a long track record of good work and send then an email with my résumé through the Contact Us page on their website.
I have received 4 job offers and 2 jobs over the 6.5 years I’ve been in the workforce. And actually in all cases they said it made me stand out over the masses of applications they get through recruiters & job boards and that it showed initiative.
I work in construction management tho so this might not work for a more gay, pozzed field like tech.
Those pozzed jobs are entirely based on networking. They have nothing to do with merit. I have a pretty damned good resume and education background, I get an interview follow-up for 1 out of every 10-15 applications I put in. Companies post jobs to meet legal requirements. The jobs you see online usually dont exist in those career fields (meaning they are already filled).
>I work in construction management tho so this might not work for a more gay, pozzed field like tech.
The difference is that tech has to filter out literally tens of thousands of morons who want 90k entry level but have no experience at all and can't actually do anything unsupervised. This happens all the time "oh I want to work in cyber security" "ok get a lvl1 help desk job and get some exp" "no, look at all these certs I have".
The problem is all those "help desk jobs" either want 5 years of experience themselves or want you to do it completely unpaid.
>Of course I have one, after all my name is Edin, Link Edin.
>Nah, israelitedIn is a total meme built for parasitic, sociopathic narcissists, women with overpaid, bullshit, email and phone jobs, and asian spammers and scammers.
>You..you don't actually have one, do you? Me, i'm too busy actually working to frick around on social media all day.
LinkedIn is useful for getting notifications on job openings. It kind of learns what kind of jobs interest you over time so it is semi useful, although not all companies use it.
But everything else about it is useless.
And if you want to apply for the job openings, find them on the company website and definitely do not apply through linkedin.
Indeed will do that without trying to pretend to be facebook.
yes, I'm in IT and software dev. I just like browsing Cinemaphile
No but you can find me on the Israeli protest database
My manager asked me to create one so I can watch the free courses on linkedin learning. The yearly bonus (only half of my fricking monthly wage) is tied to these made up personal goals.
I was contacted on Linkedin and was offered a job with twice my old wage
Yes. I pretty much only use have it to keep a copy of my work history, search for jobs and for recruitment consultants to solicit me. Browsing the feed can be funny sometimes since everyone there is so ridiculous.
>600+ applications
>zero interviews
>he uses applications
You get jobs through networking or nepotism nowadays. Applicationcels are pissing in the wind.
>You get jobs through networking or nepotism nowadays
Or unironically by not being a shitter and having a firm handshake.
Name a white collar job I can get with a firm handshake.
Anything sales
If you’re a normie with a good personality and/or an attractive woman you will make six figures in a sales job easy.
It is hilarious watching incels with an intellectual superiority complex grinding it out as a software developer for $120k/yr while Emily the dumbfrick ex sorority sloot marketing major banks $200k/yr as a SaaS account executive because she’s hot and personable.
Almost all earning potential is governed by personality and attractiveness/image.
I said white collar job, not pure undistilled bullshit job. Plus, I doubt that c**t will have a firm handshake.
Software sales is the most cushy white collar job there is lmao majority of it is work from home and 99% of it is just making friends and schmoozing
see
I am currently at over 600 and experiencing this also
it has never been about applying
applying is the formality to accompany the free job your friend who you caught flashing his benis at strangers once and told you his uncle runs a law firm- gave you
Wtf, your resume must just have "jacking off in my room" written 20 times in a row on it. What kind of jobs are you applying to?
>Ah, yes, I see you have your degree here...
>And you had how many internships? I don't see them
>Oh, you had... none?
>*stifles laughter*
>Well, to be frank... this has never happened before... this is an entry level position after all, generally we expect some form of work experience
>I'll tell you what, anon, we'll call you
>You can show yourself out, I assume?
im drinking a yummy white Russian rn. (right now)
I only have my current job that's pretty good and pays well because a guy at the local bar asked my brother if he knew anyone looking for an IT job. I almost didn't get it but a few months later this fat black lady died and they really needed someone.
Life is funny.
>Yet another reason to thank a black woman
Many such cases.
I just want to remind you that my resume specifically mentions that I’m insane, professionally diagnosed by a doctor. It appears that you just want to hire me so I can burn down the building and that you can collect the insurance money afterwards. I just want to make that very clear 😉
What I’m trying to say is that in the end you’ll be to blame for the fire, not me, a crazy person.
Officer, my boss told me to do it so he could claim the insurance money. He manipulated me, a crazy person, for his own gain.
Arrest that bastard boss! *shouts my mom in the back*
>made Linkedin profile one week after my graduation
>photo taken the day of the graduation ceremony, never changed it in 8 years
>never posted anything
>never liked anything
>only sent one friend request to my gf
>just mass accept whomever adds me (including any indian and chinese randos) once a month
>have like 1000+ contacts
>still get bombarded by messages from recruiters
>ignore them all usually
>when I’m tired of a job I open some of the new messages and set up a few interviews
>always get a few offers
>ghost the recruiters after turning down the shit offers (they hate that)
>update my company and don’t touch the app for months after getting a new job
I can’t believe people actually post their personal life on that cesspool, almost makes you wish for some Maoist reforms.
Can we get snuggle sessions instead of struggle sessions this time? 😉
sneed
>I can’t believe people actually post their personal life on that cesspool
I think it's a test for employers to see just how fricking moronic potential employees are. If they treat linkedin like fb/ig/twitter they get immediately rejected for being too stupid to be trusted with anything beyond making hamburgers at mcdonalds.
It’s a fine line though because in certain industries if you’ve got an empty LinkedIn with no posts and less than 500+ followers/connections and overall very little social media footprint you’re seen as an asocial weirdo and it’s a mark against you.
This is also why having a significant other, and in particular being married, is a massive leg up in the job market. That scene from The Departed is right. It’s proof of normalcy.
that’s why you specialize so much that even the corporate world must bend to your big asocial dick and beg you to come work for them.
specialists are always weirdos.
>It’s proof of normalcy.
Yes, this. If a woman trusted you enough to marry you, then at least you aren't a schizo who was able to pretend to be sane for the few hours that we knew you during interviews.
Also, if you have a wife (and children), it means you'll be much more likely to accept shitty workload and other bullshit, because you have a family to feed and you can't just snap and say "frick you, I'm walking out of here right this second" (or the closest legal equivalent depending on your country and its employment laws).
>if you have a wife (and children), it means you'll be much more likely to accept shitty workload and other bullshit, because you have a family to feed and you can't just snap and say "frick you, I'm walking out of here right this second" (or the closest legal equivalent depending on your country and its employment laws).
Are there any actual benefits for a man to get married anymore? It's literally all just liability and vulnerability for men now.
one of the benefits is you get to impress recruiters on Linkedin.
I wouldn't exactly call that a benefit
>If you find a quality woman then yes
This is what makes marriage such a risky deal. Finding an actual quality woman and then hoping she'll remain a quality woman for her entire lifetime is basically the same as playing the lottery these days. Sure, it's great if you hit the lottery, but the majority of tickets just end up in wasted money and time.
If you find a quality woman then yes, it is an incredibly advantageous legal instrument that allows for massive social and financial gains.
>Yes, this. If a woman trusted you enough to marry you, then at least you aren't a schizo who was able to pretend to be sane for the few hours that we knew you during interviews.
That's bullshit, I know a recently divorced guy with stellar LinkedIn profile, he's a rapist and a massive c**t. Contrary to what Cinemaphile believes, woman are blind and will marry anything with a dick
> he's a rapist and a massive c**t.
That is a plus to women, basically everything you were taught about female attraction was wrong.
True, but I don't know if that's a plus to a business.
>he's a rapist and a massive c**t
Irrelevant. He still has his life together at a level where a woman marries him.
As opposed to someone non-functioning who was able to trick you for the 3-4 hours that you spent with him in interviews and then had a schizo fit of wailing at home and throwing up from nervousness for 35 hours but you didn't see it.
>As opposed to someone non-functioning who was able to trick you for the 3-4 hours that you spent with him in interviews and then had a schizo fit of wailing at home and throwing up from nervousness for 35 hours but you didn't see it.
brutal thread
>Running your business based on womens' ability to judge character
No wonder 90% of businesses fail within the first year.
>Have worked for 4 years at 2 different companies
>Only ever added my direct team members/co-workers on LinkedIn because I know them well enough to do so
>Have a grand total of 29 connections
Do I have to go full Facebook and just add anyone in the company that I'm vaguely aware of exists? Why do they fricking care about how much connections you have if everyone is just adding random people to pump up their number of connections. This feels like high school shit instead of a professional website.
>should I blah blah
Just delete linkedin
>being married, is a massive leg up in the job market. That scene from The Departed is right. It’s proof of normalcy.
y-you too
makes sense. I mean it’s more pathetic and depressing than any other social media by far, at least on insta you know its pure narcissism, here it is narcissism dressed in wagie clothes, like you have just had a child brother, why the frick are you posting about shit related to your middle management job and comparing the two? ffs
Thats exactly what I do lol.
I got a job cause I was classmates with this one guy lol.
THE BUMS HAVE LOST
GET A JOB SIR
>LinkedIn
That's the site where you pretend to have meaningful career contacts where you have none?
I kid you not, In september 2023 I think it was, I applied online for a freaking dishwasher position and they had the gall to ask for fricking references. Turns out they actually fricking called my past work and references. My last job was dishwashing and didn’t pay as well as this new dishwasher job and the Lady interviewing me for the new dishwasher job told me she called them up and they told her good things about me being a hardworker (lol). Thats how gay the israeliteS job market is nowadays is that you have to have a fricking interview for a dishwasher position in addition to fricking reference checks
That is incredibly grim.
Is this your resume Larry?
See this, Larry?
This is what happens when you link with a stranger in the Alps!
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FEED A CONTACT SCRAMBLED EGGS
Oh nooo, he has health problems.
Knowing the right people is the best asset as far as job hunting goes, but LinkedIn is not how you meet them
Nibbas be out here applying with the most ghetto ass homemade resume that they whipped up in Word in 20 minutes. 90% of them literally get auto-filtered by the application software if they’re not formatted right. And if you’re not constructing it properly on the off chance it makes it through to a real person - into the trash it goes.
Download a preset format that is tailored to avoid filters, fill it out, and pay $20 to send it off to a resume writer to touch it up. I swear to god if I see one more friend’s resume that has colors and pictures and shit on it and still mentions volunteer work they did when they were 17…
>LinkedIn
Just seems to be some social app for female workers/female hr department and people who work in tech.
I've never met anyone other than some worthless female engineers I've worked with that actually used it
You're right, but it serves the purpose of being more professional than Facebook and allowing narcissistic "innovators" and "entrepreneurs" a place to gloat. Worthless to you and me, but if your ego depends on posting pictures with chessboards in the background, then it is invaluable.
>created a LinkedIn profile years ago
>never checked it or updated it
>decide to check on it recently
>everyone posts moronic business advice
I now realize the website is a trap designed to make it easier for companies to do background checks
why would I need one?
learn things day by day and beat THE MAN.
(dot)
>"You have 1 notification waiting for you on Linkedin"
>You appeared in 2 searches this week
I left "looking for work" on and some fricking manager is begging me to work at their engineering company, cause I had a connection with one of their managers in his office.
So yeah, I guess I am getting a job without even sending out a single resume lol
I was planning on just chilling at home during the summer cause I dropped out. But I guess they want me to work. Oh well.