>"Don't ask questions, just consume product, and then get excited for next product", The Movie
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>"Don't ask questions, just consume product, and then get excited for next product", The Movie
What questions are we supposed to be asking?
Why this movie is shit, for example
What's shitty about it? Not what is typical or cliché, what is genuinely bad about the movie?
Zero script, just a bunch of random references here and there because wink wink nudge nudge, and the characters are dull. Also the animation is really mediocre.
It has small references at most switch then it impact the movie as a whole. the weirdest reference was the star who was probably a sequel hook person and the Yoshi's who were also a sequel hook.
There's an understandable Character Arc for Mario, a basic narrative regarding rescuing Luigi and the Mushroom kingdom. If you want to argue that that's too basic or formulaic than fine but don't pretend the plot is nonexistent just because you don't like it
This helpers the Mario be relatable to mass world audience, causing it to reach a billion. If only Disney took notice of this before making Wish
>Yo princess, who is that literal who next to you that is inferior to you in everyway?
>He's not important.
>then why bring him along?
>WE JUST ARE, OK?!
great "writing"
Mario doesn't even know Bowser's fricking name.
just like modern mario games then
Mario has never been Nintendo's most part heavy franchises you mostly got hero story with Mario and make me some friends and the role playing games get the most stories but that's it.
>Zero script, just a bunch of random references here and there because wink wink nudge nudge, and the characters are dull.
But enough about the 1993 movie
1993 it's not good, but at least has SOUL
What soul? It was a shitty movie that literally was style over substance and the style wasn't even good. For frick sake they made the koopas Bowser and Yoshi literal dinosaurs just because paleontology was in fashion. It was the opposite of soulful it was corporate trash.
>It was the opposite of soulful it was corporate trash
But enough about the new one...
It unironically had more soul than the 1993 movie by virtue of actually referencing the videogames
It's generic cyberpunk slop with "Lakitu's Deli" signs slapped over it to make it feel Mario-y that can't even fully visually deliver on its confused evolved dinosaur civilization premise that exists entirely because the directors were too cool to make a fantasy movie and wanted their slop to be hecking badass and anticapitalist.
>Also the animation is really mediocre. The visuals are like the only thing that all critics praise about this movie, even when they give it a low score. Try harder
the writing was horrible and clearly an afterthought to barely string together the references and set pieces. Toad was useless, luigi did nothing until the very end, the kongs could've been skipped entirely and the message about wanting to impress dad was badly written. also seth rogen and chris pratt.
it's literally only carried by the IP
The fact that it has a lot of things that they call any of that to make the entire movie woke but it did well financially and was a huge success. Like boss Princess Peach Mario not being a Mary Sue despite being a white male protagonist.Family drama in a white family.
no a real question would be why the red man grows when he eats a mushroom?
Why does Luigi always get ho'd. It's not fair second son bros...
He literally becomes invincible and beats Bowser with his brother in a Kamen Rider finish.
Why is Bowser so hot
>IT'S
>STILL
>RELEVANT
>M-muuuuhhhhhhhHHHHhhHhH D-dIdNEy sHIlL
Grown up
Holy ESL moment. These Disney shills are crazy.
Well yeah, they're shilling the live-action Mario movie (which was put out by one of Disney's labels) in this thread right now
I remember when this movie mindbroke so many reviewers who were seemingly so flabbergasted that people would actually like a MARIO movie.
Is there one where Sega is crying b***h tears? Because I remember sonicgays being smug c**ts before it was clear this movie was going to make a ton of money.
>This movie is still making people seethe
>Actual good movies still making morons seethe
Are they in the room with us right now?
This is the same shit as the Mario movie. It's just les entertaining.
I missed the Scene with the secret society of Marios and how our Mario fights to escape an army of Marios.
I meant both are products of corporate movie making, but Spider-verse is actually more cynical than Mario and less entertaining. Shittier animation too
>troony movie
Spider-Verse 2 was one of the worst non-Disney animated films I've ever seen. I wasn't even pissed at the cliffhanger. It was everything else wrong with this anathema of so-called """cinema""" that's been plaguing Hollywood for the past decade.
>blackwashed Spider-Woman
>pregnancy
>bringing children into battle for no reason
>terrible dialogue
>obnoxiously overabundant chromatic abrasion plastered throughout every single background
>constantly autistic color transitions between scenes, more so than the previous movie
>too bloated + too long
>Why is Miles pro-BLM when his dad's a cop?
>troony propaganda everywhere (i.e. Protect Trans Kids)
>too much multiverse crap to the point where it trivializes the stakes
>barely any plot until the last third of the film
>first quarter of the film could of been its own movie
>emasculated Peter B. Parker
>Spider-Punk's accent + vernacular made it difficult to understand what he was saying
>too many Spidersonas (AKA blatant self-inserts) everywhere, like Spider-Muslim, the handicapped Spider-Woman, the obese Spider-Woman, etc.
>turned Miguel O'hara into a psychopath you end up agreeing with over the protagonist, the diametric opposite of how he acted at the end of the movie prior
>complete character assassination of the very concept of Spider-Man just to prop up Miles as the "best" one
>the whole "keep everything canon" plot twist is nonsensical + falls apart once you consider the existence of Armored Spider-Man who never lost Uncle Ben
>excessive overabundance of woke agitprop (i.e. The British stole this from us!)
>theatrical version had multiple edits due to poor audio integration; not every theater had the same version of the film during its initial run
>animators were reportedly overworked due to crunch
I hope The Boy and the Heron wins an Oscar over this garbage. The fanbase for this shit is complete cancer comparable to Steven Universe. It deserves to be forgotten & the third entry needs to get cancelled.
>Why is Miles pro-BLM when his dad's a cop?
Why does having a family in law enforcement means you against police being hold accountable when they break the law on the job? Are you implying that his dad's a corrupt cop?
To be BLM is to be anti-cop; their entire mission is to defund the police & replace them with anarcho-communists. It's literally in their motto. The writers are moronic.
If a cop considered black lives matter anti police it tells you the cops against accountability for people who work in law enforcement. I defund the police they don't mean take away the people who have jobs by the hundreds in law enforcement they mean stop arming them with the biggest and baddest toys they want at a moment's notice and have people who are trained in de-escalating certain situations handle issues that don't actually need heavy-handed police presence to take care of like homeless people in a neighborhood.
This copypasta's getting stale.
Don't respond. He's been spamming this for a while.
>copypasta'
It was literally created today.
I didn't like the movie, but your reason is fricking moronic
>Nooo, you can't just enjoy a movie, it needs to be deep and serious for mature adults like me!
>Nooo, you can't just enjoy a movie, it needs to be deep and serious for mature adults like me!
First one was better
Still better than Sonic 2. I didn't mind 1, but 2 is awful.
This was just an ordinary movie. It was cute and simple. I don't get why you have a side saying it's either a masterpiece of entertainment or a sin against man.
Because it's a sin
It's easier to follow those instructions when the product is enjoyable. Which it is in this case.
>Super Mario Bros Movie 2023
>Enjoyable
Lol
Lmao even
I wish I could ignore reality like you do.
You're doing a great job already
it's fricking mario. what did you homosexuals expect?
But how did the kids feel about the Mario movie?
Are we excited for live action Zelda movie?
Don't see what's wrong with that when the product is fun/harmless/non-political
Only saw this film because my mother wanted to see it. It was OK, but it felt too much like a girlboss film. No doubt Illumination's doing. Can someone please tell Japan to make a Super Mario anime already?
Mario literally does everything and Peach falls for HIM instead of the other way around. She even gushes about him in one scene and looks at him lovingly.
In Video Game World Mario grew up in the line of the Mushroom Kingdom and knows everything he needs to to get the round. In the movie Princess Peach grew up there but Mario's just came from what we were called real life into it without contacts you wouldn't know what to do yourself. I mean he got scared by toad in the beginning.
I do believe Mario actually had a few animated and television series made by Japan. I actually got a video tape of a Mario cartoon.
Peach is 1:1 to her depiction in Mario Adventures which is Japanese by the way.
That comic was very cute and I wish the movie had the same amount of charm. Good example of soul vs soulless.
>STILL bringin this who gives a shit tie in that Nintendo doesnt even remember?
there is a reason Miyamoto went japautistic with the mandates since the late 2000s
>Peaches goes to meet with Browser
>Gets captured
>It's up to Mario to save the day & rescue the princess
You failed to make your point. Even in the mangas, Mario still saves Princess Peach & it isn't a full-blown girlboss story like the way Illumination portrayed her.
Mario saved both the Mushroom Kingdom and Earth. You whiny pussy little b***hbabies really need to man up and stop being terrified of women who do more than make dinner and incubate spawn.
>Can someone please tell Japan to make a Super Mario anime already?
They did, like 35 years ago.
It ends with Mario getting cucked by some literally who prince. Do you honestly think that's better?
At least Peach wasnt a wreck in that film, and cared about Mario still
When I say "make a Super anime", I mean let's have a legit anime series of Super Mario straight from Japan. Have Toei call all the shots in what gets animated. Japan not only has games but also the mangas as source material. Mario 64 was actually based off a manga before it was made into a game. Americans butcher whatever they touch & can't respect the source material. Even when the Nintendo told Illumination "no" they still managed to frick up Princess Peach & the characters' personalities & dynamics in the process. Just for once, can we have a Super Mario anime that's more like a Super Mario.
>Have Toei call all the shots in what gets animated
No, frick off.
>Toei
Ah hell naw.
There is more SOVL in that 80s OVA than there is in the 90s live action movie & Illumination's Super Mario Movie.
>"bah! giving presents in christmas is stupid capitalist propaganda!. a child would be more happy with a sausage or a can of tuna!", the post
accept it OP, you are old and try to suck the fun of everything, you have become that sour guy who everybody hates, or maybe you always were.
>a child would be more happy with a sausage or a can of tuna!
This but unironically
.
This was one of the most painfully generic kids movies I've ever watched, I feel like it would've gotten dragged way harder if it didn't have all of the Nintendo references for people to clap at
as i said on a threads when this movie first came out i was assuming that when after watching this movie "normies" would then watch and possibly read (or stumble across some time after) YouTube Poops, SMG4, Supermariologan Mario Bloopers and Castle Calamity (which used the Sprites from the old Mario gamers), Bowsette, Chris Chan's stuff, possibly the AVGN, the Nostigala Critic and they're imitators along with SFM & GMod fan videos, and getting to understand them as i immediately thought about the stuff ive mentioned when i first heard about this movie as it puts Video Game characters in scenarios that are in mainstream media just like this movie
Yeah, which is why it's so sad that it's still better than almost everything else this year. Or last year, I don't remember when it was released.
>limpid catchphrase, the post
It's a fine movie. Yes, it's a generic plot, but it manages to stand its ground well for what it is.
The only legit good GOOD movies this year were Sound of Freedom, Top Gun, and Minus One
Frick off, chuddie
You are a very boring person, OP.
>consume product
2010s simulator post
I never paid for the movie, why so mad?
I don't think they could give the movie any more "story" than they tried to give for a fricking Mario movie, but the pacing was absolutely insane.
>30 minutes of Brookyln
>Mushroom Kingdom is only 20 minutes
>rest of the world is delegated to a montage
>are now suddenly at Kong Kountry gates
Peach should've showed Mario around the castle. We needed a scene of them in the jungle and give Toad a scene to justify his existence. Have Luigi try to escape before he gets caged up.
but enough about disney
The only really lame part imo was the entire mario kart sequence. That whole part was fricking stupid and pointless. The rest of the movie was decently fun and pretty to look at. Wouldn't watch it again but it was all right
>That whole part was fricking stupid and pointless
This.
They get the Kongs to build the karts, they travel the Rainbow Road, but then they get their karts blown up & subsequently captured + imprisoned at Bowser's castle anyway.......which they were going to reach to begin with. It was only included because "I CLAPPED! I CLAPPED WHEN I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!" soullessness.
It’s because Mario Kart’s one of their best sellers. It sells way more than their regular Mario games so it’s the movie for promotional purposes. Dumbasses like you think they put it in these things just to be references when they were added in to advertise their games.
So by that logic all movies based on games, books, TV shows, etc are nothing but advertising for those things. Every time someone makes a Hamlet movie they're shilling for Shakespeare.
This, the movie should have been 80 minutes of SM64, now that is what the children know and love.
I liked that it was a straightforward adventure.
This shit movie and the defence force that it garnered made me embarrassed to be a tendie. Almost to the level I feel with pokegays defending those games.
>everyone that doesn't hivemind with my personal opinions is a "defense force!"
Tell us how you would have made it the Mario movie of your dreams. Which game would you have had it copy 1:1?
Imagine seething this much over a goddamn Children’s movie. If this isn’t a joke then please get a life, dude.
You're okay with men being emasculated, women being girlbosses, and israelites being shoved into what you enjoy?
It's a mario movie. I didn't watch it because I wanted some deep fricking philosophy. I'd watch a mario party movie. I slready watched that shitty battleship movie so you know I'm not bluffing