The only way its every going to sell to normies is as le funny nerd shit because to them thats all it is. As with most things just imagine the average person's understanding of any subject is as surface level a you can get then think 1% of that.
I can answer this. Because they realized that was how the content found wider appeal, which allowed more product to be sold. When D&D exploded globally a few years back, it did so on the back of live podcasts & shows that were basically just improv comedy. Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with making jokes and fricking around while playing a game, but the problem is one of the framing it creates. Same with Warhammer, when you have the original hobby, people got into it because it was "cool", it looked cool, it sounded cool, it had badass aesthetics, it was deep and interesting and different, etc. And of course, once you're in it, yeah you frick around and make jokes and whatever, but it's always within that context of you're still keeping the overall hobby "cool" for you.
But when you have this content like "LOL WARHAMMER COMEDY VIDEO" on Youtube or something and it causes it to hit the mainstream, then the only context these new people have is "lol so funny joke lol", so that's the paradigm they are brought in with and that's the paradigm they fight to maintain, that's how they then go on to share it with others, etc. D&D is the exact same way. Wizards onboarded a ton of new customers with their lighthearted, comedy show content, so that's all those people want out of the brand. And so that's how Hasbro will continue to try and sell it, because they see that seems to sell more than trying to make it cool or edgy or deep or engaging.
Cain is already kind of an overly silly series, though. He and the institutions surrounding him are also too competent. It's actually kind of funny, how the imperium is described as being so corrupt and degenerate that worlds will be wiped out because someone stamped their paperwork wrong, but you never see this in any of the WH40K fluff. Douglas Adams unironically wrote a more grimdark setting than WH40K is in the fluff these days, and he wrote it as a comedy.
Imagine being that fricking immortal guy, in Hitchhiker's Guide, who somehow became immortal, and his life is so purposeless he decides that what he's going to dedicate immortality to is to personally insult everyone in the universe. So he flies around in his little interstellar space ship, going through the list of every sentient entity in the universe alphabetically, just... it's so fricking stupid and pointless. If it wasn't comedic, it would destroy your soul. I actually think that, by removing so much of the comedy/silliness from WH40K, they're *necessarily* also removing the grimdarkness. Because the grimdark just can't exist without being constantly juxtaposed with how silly it is, it's too bleak and depressing. So when you remove the silly, you also remove the grimdark, and so instead you get blandly competent people like Cain.
PS. I like Cain.
You're saying I should be listening to this stuff at work instead?
1 year ago
Anonymous
Phule’s Company is nothing special. It’s very much a 1990’s toothless Douglas Adams lite sci-fi comedy.
The Flashman books are where it’s at. Well written, historically accurate, bawdy, just don’t play them with earshot of others. It’s written in Victorian-era English when terms like ‘Black person’ were t seen as offensive.
Then why did every novel in the series make me laugh?
Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
1 year ago
Anonymous
You sir are nothing but a coprophage.
1 year ago
Anonymous
Watch your tone, you feckless guttersnipe.
1 year ago
Anonymous
>Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
This post is a classic symptom of moronation.
1 year ago
Anonymous
>Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
>LOL WARHAMMER COMEDY VIDEO
When emperor had a text to speech was put on indefinite hold /tg/ was happier then it had ever been in years and now with 1dCinemaphile and /tg/ archives going up in flames redditors can no longer copy off them.
This kinda happened with DS9. It's one of my favourite shows, but goddamn the community around it has become fricking smuggy filled with smug injokes, simply because it's so old and that's really all you have left to do when talking about it.
>we want to quippy-humor audience
All movies are made by committee nowadays. If a focus group moron reached for his smartphone at any time, your movie script needs rework
Because it's generic fantasy and they need to spice things up with humor. Would've been best to have made it following the success of the LOTR trilogy when there was a demand for more serious fantasy, but before Game of Thrones came along and made everyone expect serious fantasy to be dark and gritty so now everything that isn't like Game of Thrones has to be light and funny.
Also some big D&D fans like it because it represent how their own games go with them being silly and cracking jokes and stuff.
The astroturfing for it was insane. Every youtube/reddit comment went "this looks fun! This is just as wacky as my own D&D group's adventures!"
Yeah that's really selling it. A movie about some piece of shit unfunny redditors D&D campaign.
All the popular dndgreentexts and then later youtube recorded dnd campaigns end up being le wacky critical 20 roll adventures. You're not going to get normies invested in your long emotional character arc when the whole point is that you're doing it yourself.
>Arathon the Vile, the Underdark's notorious beholder, after taking the elven naturalist hostage, starts to suck on Sophia Ellis' druidistic feet. The first d10 roll will decide the wild shape's toes and the second is for how far will he put it in his mouth.
why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
why would you come to this thread with the premise that doing so would be more commercially viable?
>why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
Record of Lodoss >why would you come to this thread with the premise that doing so would be more commercially viable?
Mushoku Tensei was a sweeping success. LOTR was a sweeping sucess. Ergo, the public is in demand for high quality high fantasy entertainment
>why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
because you'd think after the success of the Hobbit and LOTR people would say "OH, wait. people LIKE Orcs,Elves and Dwarfs smashing each other with axes,swords and bows". World of Warcraft tried this but it kinda shat the bed. I think the SFX in that film was pretty great and they absolutely NAILED the Orc's but I think it was too much blabbering and not enough Stormwind knight smashing Horde face from atop his Gryphon.
Because dnd is a moronic board game for nerds. You can have real dramatic stakes in the game and take it seriously but you inevitably remember that you're at your friends house eating pizza and it becomes a joke. You can't make dnd into lotr and have it work, there needs to be levity.
this is why you keep them out of your hobbies, unless the hobby is something physical like hiking or whatever. never ever allow women into a non-physical hobby.
It's one thing taking LOTR lore seriously but when by its very nature DnD is about creating Mary Sue self inserts don't be surprised when blacks and women start appearing
DnD isn't about creating mary sue self inserts, that's what women think it's about. The whole point of DnD is to NOT do that. Otherwise you wouldn't even be doing any RPing, you'd just be rolling dice. The very existence of concepts like alignments put the lie to your claim. Of course, alignments are passé now, which is exactly my point. Women started getting into the hobby, *they* can't do anything other than self-insert into characters, so they remove all the roleplay things like alignments and class/race restrictions and bans on monster races and so on.
Is just cope
1 year ago
Anonymous
have you considered suicide? not in minecraft, IRL.
DnD isn't about creating mary sue self inserts, that's what women think it's about. The whole point of DnD is to NOT do that. Otherwise you wouldn't even be doing any RPing, you'd just be rolling dice. The very existence of concepts like alignments put the lie to your claim. Of course, alignments are passé now, which is exactly my point. Women started getting into the hobby, *they* can't do anything other than self-insert into characters, so they remove all the roleplay things like alignments and class/race restrictions and bans on monster races and so on.
DnD, in early eighties, when it was actually highly popular and culturally impactful, was a brutal bloodbath, where characters were generated in 10-15 minutes and dropped like flies, and where adventures, for all of their faults, were explicitly meant to test actual players sitting at the table, not stats of their avatars. You're talking out of your ass.
Since the last edition of DnD involving some actual (questionable) game design was 3.0, the game was slowly dying, blundering from one edition which made the game actively worse to another. But with 5E WotC managed to strike a gold vein by sheer accident.
By that time the crowd of dungeoncrawling, number-crunching spergs mostly fricked off to play Pathfinder (which is also bad). And people who cared about reproducing fantasy stories on tabletop played their own houserules or any of the dozes of obscure systems. 5E was simplified, but not simple enough to attract kids, too.
But there was that big crowd of nerds, who excused their hobbies by "but we enjoy them ironically", the same onions thanks to whom capeshit now has to be filled with quips and self-aware jokes. And after some of them, most importantly gays from Critical Role, started posting videos of their shitty Reddit-tier comedy campaigns on social media, 5E got a big boost in popularity among the likes of them.
So basically the actual identity of DnD now more or consists of codifying shitty DnD tropes which DMs were ashamed to use before and stupid shit done by clueless or bored players, as crucial parts of DnD and then making fun of them.
Yes, but I will admit like 90% of the OSR is either playing straight Mentzer Basic, AD&D 1E or some of the retro clones that make mild modifications of it like AS&SH.
Mentzer is like second-tier popular along with 2E and more breakaway stuff like ACKS.
Third-tier is trashy shit that calls itself OSR despite having nothing to do with the playstyle of early D&D, most often championed by redditors. (eg if you go on a moron hangout like /r/osr there's a 50% chance this is what they'll tell you to play)
Authenticity and Cringe have a lot of overlap. Cynicism and wit allow you to portray things which if shown authentically may well be uncool.
When you actually go full-blast and produce highly authentic, serious, unironic fantasy and it works you get LOTR Kino, when you do it and it sucks you get Deathstalker. The fear of being cringe is so great that studios lean on comedy and cynicism to avoid the thing feeling too authentic.
>Why do they keep trying to make DnD into a comedy?
But why cater to a dying genre? Marvel with its comedy is dying, but HotD with all its seriousness is a success.
Trying to emulate the laughs you would have when playing the tabletop. However it almost always falls short. There should be a balance but most writers are incapable of that it seems.
Dungeons and dragons is probably at its peak popularity ever. It’s well known to normies through tv shows and pop culture where actually sitting down and doing it was a lot more niche before
I live in the UK and have lived in France and Germany and you're dead wrong, anyone who plays board games and almost everyone who plays video games knows what D&D is and D&D podcasts are incredibly popular.
D&D has gotten a bunch of secondaries onboard but the actual hobby peak was like 1983 or thereabouts back when it sold like 800k copies each year in tertiary markets alone.
I'm talking about a single book like the mentzer red box. In Japan alone it sold 800k.
That's not counting all the modules, AD&D line being in every single walmart etc.
Also for 3E that's what WotC claimed was the combined sales of their original corebooks after 2 years. They never release their full separated sales numbers for the new stuff but bundle it up with lots of other shit to make it come off better.
Even after LOTR and GOT/HotD, the words 'Dungeons and Dragons' conjure up visions of overweight cheeto crumb-dusted high school losers. They also desiccate veganas for 500 mile radius. The only way to market a D&D movie with any hope of success is to not include the words D&D.
Now it is. In the past you could crack open a D&D book and see girls in bikini armor, and nerdy fantasy shit. Not anymore.
D&D is owned by a company called Wizards of the Coast, and they went full woke and made a bunch of awful business decisions. I think they even went as far as removing words like sex and race and master and slave from their guide books. They were seriously banking on this movie to be a big hit because they basically kicked all white men out of the hobby.
The current iteration of D&D pretty much only exists to pander to redditorgays.
Older editions (made by a whole different company with Gygax & co) do not and that's why a significant contingent do not play anything but older editions and there's a whole movement within the rpg scene called the OSR that champion it.
Yeah, but the thing is the guy behind that is a grifter (in the actual sense of the word not the modern youtube political) so even the people who think the convention prostitutes are utterly moronic aren't getting involved. He tried to use the TSR name but the stuff he was shilling was more targeting the nu-crowd.
I saw the trailer for this movie yesterday for John Wick. It was literally some generic voice-over saying “CRITICS ARE RAVING OVER DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. IT’S THE MOST FUN YOU’LL EVER HAVE AT THE MOVIES.” Worst marketing I’ve seen in a while
Bro this shit apparently has the same exact costuming department as The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, except that movie was made for like $50, and this one is a billion-dollar blockbuster.
They released this right after some big fiasco surrounding DnD where everyone was shitting on them. Their own fans turned against them. Who was going to see this movie? Despite pushing it to normies, DnD is still for weird shut ins. It's not Marvel.
I wouldn't know. Like most /tg/ gays I gave up on the film the second I saw what the cast looked like.
The rest gave up once the directors tried to explain how they were emasculating the main character but it's totally coincidental that the one white guy gets emasculated and not woke at all.
for me, it would be inserting slowly and deeply inside Soph. Don't even care about the foreplay or the sex, just insertion, it would be a high point of my day
Caaaaaaalled it. You're not going to make the cast 90% non-white, toss in an elderly dyke as the strong, masculine character and spend the entire movie shitting on the white guy and expect people to flock to the theaters.
Sophia is salvageable though. Her character I mean. In a few years they can try again with another cast, another script. The entire party is replaced, except for Doric. Although to be honest, I pirated it so I could pick apart every defense made of it. Sophia complained about this in one of her interviews and she tried to play it off like she was joking but it was true. I'm paraphrasing but she basically said "I'm barely in the movie, most of the time I'm some animal." And it's true, in like 70% of her scenes she's a fricking owlbear. And a reminder, they had to change the entire ruleset to accommodate her doing this. Was genuinely disappointed in how little of it she was in, she doesn't show up until like halfway through. I haven't actually sat down and watched it start to finish yet because to be honest, nothing but Sophia in it interests me at all.
The black paladin is barely in it also, not sure if he dies or goes on a quest or some shit, but he's the only male character they don't spend the runtime shitting on. His scenes looked nauseautingly worshipful. There's also a half black princess played by the little goblin from "My Spy". It's kind of funny, I saw her in initial set photos but when they saw how negative the response was to the largely non-white cast they cut her from all the marketing. She's in it for more than either the paladin or Hugh Grant's character, she's in the final fight.
Oh, and as for the D&D party from the cartoon being in it? More like people cosplaying as them. It's clearly distinctly different people wearing their costumes. They don't look like them. The little kid barbarian for example? Movie version has a beard.
>Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves cost around $151 million to make so those numbers aren’t good by any means, which is actually more than the $100 million budget for Shazam: Fury of the Gods.
>Estimates come from Box Office Pro who revised their numbers from higher estimates just a couple of weeks ago as tracking had Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves opening between $23M and $30M (for a comparison they estimated Shazam! $37M-$46M at the time) but now the potential numbers are a bit lower on the “worst case scenario” side of things.
Write a series of novels, fantasy and sci-fi.
Become a famous, acclaimed author.
Use money to purchase the movie rights to various fantasy series.
Produce several faithful adaptations, meet Sophia. Offer her a part in exchange for her sobriety.
Build a relationship with her. Play games with her, make puzzles with her, read her stories while she lays under a blanket against your chest, promise you'll put her in all your movies. Offer her another "part" then. A "position on your staff" so to speak. Marry while she's still in her twenties. Get her pregnant in a moment of passion. She freaks out because of her mother and brother's deformities. Argue about it. It puts a strain on your relationship. Convince her you'll love her no matter what. Remind her how wonderful her mother and brother are. Bond over this. Spend your retirement raising your flipperbaby crab people.
Oop- I got distracted by my dog. Meant to add, do you think they made Soph an owlbear for so many of her scenes because of her drinking problem affecting filming?
>do you think they had the shape shifting character change forms because of BTS drama I've made up in my head based on nothing at all
No that's moronic
But it's established that her drinking effected filming, and she complains in interviews that most of her scenes are as a cgi monster. I don't think it's too far-fetched there was at least one instance where they were like "Sophia's really sick and can't come to the set." "Frick it, film the scene without her and we'll just add in the owlbear later, it's whatever."
The main problem is that it's seen that DnD has no plot, thus you have to make up something random. That's true if you just look at game mechanics. But modules are just straight up novels worth of story. Just adapt those! God damn. I gurantee the execs don't know aobut these at all.
Hollywood never learns. I wasn't saying the first movie wasn't shit, it is. It was completely terrible, but I'd still frick the shit out of this elf. Miscegenate twice over. Create an entirely new sub-race with this pretty little darkling.
>wait didnt they already make this movie and it bombed like 2 decades ago? >why did they try a popular IP again 20 years later when times have changed
Are you actually moronic?
>Uh-oh, there are facts and a source! OP wasn't just memeing. Shit, shit, and I'm the one who got it posted! How do I backtrack this before I get fired... >...I know! I'll just say the source isn't reputable! Yeah!!
>Got into an argument with some guys i play DND with at the gym how this would happen and Shazam would make more money (they were seething that the fricking DND movie didn't get big deluxe cinema over Shazam and i told them i didn't want to go since the movie looked liked they "Marveled that shit up") >Told me that i live in my own bubble and DND is the massive thing that and no one cares about Shazam >These frickers watch shit like other people play DND online and spend all day on the DND subreddit >Told them that Shazam is already a proven track record and had a much smaller budget >They all laughed at me and called me moronic
This actually feel fricking good, just posted it in the group chat
The Box Office Pro website, which looks like the most credible outfit for this when I searched, updated their forecast saying D&D could make on higher estimates more than Shazam 2 on opening weekend, and on lower estimates for totals more than Shazam 2 lifetime, maybe a lot more if word of mouth is good.
Don't be a fricking scaredy cat pussy/media cuck, just watch the movie for yourself if it scratches your itch and decide for yourself if it deserves a rewatch or sequels.
I enjoyed the movie in a nearly empty cinema. A whole bunch of kids snuck in during the fat dragon chase scene, sat down, then left. Even for free this movie didn't appeal. Wish they just had the entire movie be the arena, a DnD arena movie kinda like that BG expansion would be sweet.
Australia, if you already have a ticket you just walk into another theatre after your movie is done. Could spend a whole day there if you don't be an idiot.
Ok, even assuming IMDB are idiots about not showing Aussies could watch this already through limited or advanced anythings compared to the west (considering they've been happy about throwing paywalls for their access for a while now), I'm not sure why I should care about what seems like anecdotal evidence right now. There's not even previews figures yet. If you want to watch the movie just watch it.
Australia, if you already have a ticket you just walk into another theatre after your movie is done. Could spend a whole day there if you don't be an idiot.
Australia, if you already have a ticket you just walk into another theatre after your movie is done. Could spend a whole day there if you don't be an idiot.
Ticket checkers are at an entrance to the hall where all the theaters are, they don't check once you're inside the hall.
Australia, if you already have a ticket you just walk into another theatre after your movie is done. Could spend a whole day there if you don't be an idiot.
They made a comedy movie out this? The frick were they thinking?
The only D&D movie worth watching is a serious fantasy film where you see everything as they imagine it and game mechanics are incorporated into the movie for serious players. But you never see what the actual players look like until the end credits.
I was gonna watch it until they literally wrote an article saying they were going to gay up the lead "but not for woke reasons, we swear." What a bunch of morons israelites are nowadays.
Saw it on Friday (Ausbro here) and it's not bad. Probably 7/10.
The first half hour kinda drags as they put the party together but after that it's very reminiscent of the random bullshit you pull at the gaming table while trying to avoid the DM's railroad as much as possible. Normies will like the humour.
I wish they had leaned more into the setting- it becomes obvious early on that it's the Forgotten Realms but they didn't really go balls to the wall with the frickery of that setting.
On the other hand by avoiding leaning into the setting too hard they didn't have to explain why Drizz't, Eminister, Khelben Blackstaff or whoever else didn't come in and solve all the problems themselves which is a bonus.
It's not perfect but it's good enough, and a massive improvement over the prior efforts. Far better than slop like Mortal Kombat from recent times.
I would say that Wrath of the Dragon God and Book of Vile Darkness are both better D&D movies. Which isn't saying much as the latter is still awful, but I thought what they did with it was pretty clever at least for a little while.
Main character's a low level lawful good type, I don't know which class, fighter or knight or whatever. His dad gets abducted by bad guys so he has to infiltrate this party of chaotic evil characters, and it's about the stuff he does so they accept him and how it's stated clearly that by the end of the film, his alignment has changed. There's a scene where he's tested by this gross little demon girl that will react negatively if it tastes good, but it tastes nothing but evil on him. Also he bones this evil wizard chick.
>Spend two years demonising people for going outside. >fill movies with (justifiably) hated minority groups but instead of portraying then honestly show them behaving like white people behave. >create unprecedented economic strife amongst the group most likely to purchase you products.
Gee, I wonder why all these movies are tanking?
My thoughts...the first trailers the one with the Led Zeppelin song of whatever made me think "Oh, this looks slightly entertaining. Maybe I'll watch it with the wife and be slightly entertained." Then the tone in the advertising turned to Forspoken style "Holy heckin cow fellow nerds, were fighting DRAGONS in a DUNGEON XD" and finally...these awkward as frick old spice commercials in-between my YT missing 411 videos sealed the deal for me. Just be cool. Be confident. Don't...act like you're movie is an inside.joke that everyone is in on. Fricking sell that shit DnD style...skinny brown mage didn't sell it.
Too much comedy, not enough cool. Imagine though...
"Jumanji 3: SackNSlash edtion"
If you're going for the meta slapstick, go that way. That's the way to make it happen. Same shtick, more meta. Don't make a movie with characters that are less invested in their own story than they expect the audience to be.
Literally no one wants to watch a Dungeons & Dragons movie.
Normies probably think it's a sequel to something because of the subtitle.
Those who know what D&D is wouldn't go near it with a 10ft pole because it's lame nerd shit.
Those who play D&D wouldn't watch it because they are probably too scared the leave their house.
Just got back from seeing it with my long time D&D group. At the movies they played an ad for it saying "releasing March 30" lmao. Overall it was pretty camp but surprisingly fun. I give them a bit of a pass on the quips because making terrible out of place jokes is actually someone authentic to something like DND
why do people still even make movies, i'm not gonna watch any of them
>This anon doesn't watch current movies
It's over Hollywood, pack up boys
>why do people still even make movies
last movie I watched in cinemas was infinitey war DONT think I’ll be going back ever again
I'd have gone to see it but I heard there was woke shit so stayed home. Many such cases
>hollywood has failed Sophia
Who?
haha, imagine if instead of that chair she was sitting on your face, haha
Good.
Why do they keep trying to make DnD into a comedy?
The only way its every going to sell to normies is as le funny nerd shit because to them thats all it is. As with most things just imagine the average person's understanding of any subject is as surface level a you can get then think 1% of that.
But that almost never works though
Ahhh the good ol chase the audience you dont have and ignore the ones you have. Works every time, just ask disney
That's something I liked about 65.
It has a really kinda goofy, schlocky premise, but it plays it completely straight, without irony or winking humor.
Or course a lot of critics hated it because of that.
Cause they don't like the source material and think it's dumb nerd shit and they hate the audience.
Because it's great to laugh at that stupid nerdy bullshit
The comedy will distract from the bad CGI, battle scenes, costumes and horrible casting.
>bad CGI, battle scenes, costumes and horrible casting
all of them are good except maybe the magician actor
because white incels are a joke to ~~*them*~~
I can answer this. Because they realized that was how the content found wider appeal, which allowed more product to be sold. When D&D exploded globally a few years back, it did so on the back of live podcasts & shows that were basically just improv comedy. Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with making jokes and fricking around while playing a game, but the problem is one of the framing it creates. Same with Warhammer, when you have the original hobby, people got into it because it was "cool", it looked cool, it sounded cool, it had badass aesthetics, it was deep and interesting and different, etc. And of course, once you're in it, yeah you frick around and make jokes and whatever, but it's always within that context of you're still keeping the overall hobby "cool" for you.
But when you have this content like "LOL WARHAMMER COMEDY VIDEO" on Youtube or something and it causes it to hit the mainstream, then the only context these new people have is "lol so funny joke lol", so that's the paradigm they are brought in with and that's the paradigm they fight to maintain, that's how they then go on to share it with others, etc. D&D is the exact same way. Wizards onboarded a ton of new customers with their lighthearted, comedy show content, so that's all those people want out of the brand. And so that's how Hasbro will continue to try and sell it, because they see that seems to sell more than trying to make it cool or edgy or deep or engaging.
This is why I want to slap anybody that says Cavil should do a Ciaphas Cain seres.
Cain is already kind of an overly silly series, though. He and the institutions surrounding him are also too competent. It's actually kind of funny, how the imperium is described as being so corrupt and degenerate that worlds will be wiped out because someone stamped their paperwork wrong, but you never see this in any of the WH40K fluff. Douglas Adams unironically wrote a more grimdark setting than WH40K is in the fluff these days, and he wrote it as a comedy.
Imagine being that fricking immortal guy, in Hitchhiker's Guide, who somehow became immortal, and his life is so purposeless he decides that what he's going to dedicate immortality to is to personally insult everyone in the universe. So he flies around in his little interstellar space ship, going through the list of every sentient entity in the universe alphabetically, just... it's so fricking stupid and pointless. If it wasn't comedic, it would destroy your soul. I actually think that, by removing so much of the comedy/silliness from WH40K, they're *necessarily* also removing the grimdarkness. Because the grimdark just can't exist without being constantly juxtaposed with how silly it is, it's too bleak and depressing. So when you remove the silly, you also remove the grimdark, and so instead you get blandly competent people like Cain.
PS. I like Cain.
You like a cheap shitty rip-off of Harry Flashman and Phule’s Company Anon
You're saying I should be listening to this stuff at work instead?
Phule’s Company is nothing special. It’s very much a 1990’s toothless Douglas Adams lite sci-fi comedy.
The Flashman books are where it’s at. Well written, historically accurate, bawdy, just don’t play them with earshot of others. It’s written in Victorian-era English when terms like ‘Black person’ were t seen as offensive.
Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
You sir are nothing but a coprophage.
Watch your tone, you feckless guttersnipe.
>Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
This post is a classic symptom of moronation.
>Because laughing at inappropriate situations and events is a classic symptom of autism.
so is reading sci-fi novels, nerd
This also happened to retro gaming with the AVGN.
>LOL WARHAMMER COMEDY VIDEO
When emperor had a text to speech was put on indefinite hold /tg/ was happier then it had ever been in years and now with 1dCinemaphile and /tg/ archives going up in flames redditors can no longer copy off them.
Reminds me of whedon in comics before reaching the MCU.
This kinda happened with DS9. It's one of my favourite shows, but goddamn the community around it has become fricking smuggy filled with smug injokes, simply because it's so old and that's really all you have left to do when talking about it.
>we want to quippy-humor audience
All movies are made by committee nowadays. If a focus group moron reached for his smartphone at any time, your movie script needs rework
Because it's generic fantasy and they need to spice things up with humor. Would've been best to have made it following the success of the LOTR trilogy when there was a demand for more serious fantasy, but before Game of Thrones came along and made everyone expect serious fantasy to be dark and gritty so now everything that isn't like Game of Thrones has to be light and funny.
Also some big D&D fans like it because it represent how their own games go with them being silly and cracking jokes and stuff.
Ah yes, all those generic fantasy movies and series we get all the time that isn't a subversion a joke, right
The astroturfing for it was insane. Every youtube/reddit comment went "this looks fun! This is just as wacky as my own D&D group's adventures!"
Yeah that's really selling it. A movie about some piece of shit unfunny redditors D&D campaign.
All the popular dndgreentexts and then later youtube recorded dnd campaigns end up being le wacky critical 20 roll adventures. You're not going to get normies invested in your long emotional character arc when the whole point is that you're doing it yourself.
After the success of GoT/HotD I thought the trend would be fantasy worlds taken seriously. Guess not.
Dnd is based on Dying Earth, which is a comedy.
Jack Vance’s ‘The Dying Earth’? Because that’s pretty fricking far from a comedy.
Then why did every novel in the series make me laugh?
have you ever played dnd?
it's mostly just joking around with your friends
Most people's D&D campaigns would make terrible stories.
yeah, so? that's why they hire writers for the movie, moron
doesn't mean they can't evoke what it actually feels like to play dnd
>Arathon the Vile, the Underdark's notorious beholder, after taking the elven naturalist hostage, starts to suck on Sophia Ellis' druidistic feet. The first d10 roll will decide the wild shape's toes and the second is for how far will he put it in his mouth.
Because that's the only content coming out of DnD that's moderately successful. So now everything has to be some ironic quirky whedon-writing fest.
why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
why would you come to this thread with the premise that doing so would be more commercially viable?
>why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
Record of Lodoss
>why would you come to this thread with the premise that doing so would be more commercially viable?
Mushoku Tensei was a sweeping success. LOTR was a sweeping sucess. Ergo, the public is in demand for high quality high fantasy entertainment
I can think of a few others.
>why the frick would anyone expect a serious D&D movie?
because you'd think after the success of the Hobbit and LOTR people would say "OH, wait. people LIKE Orcs,Elves and Dwarfs smashing each other with axes,swords and bows". World of Warcraft tried this but it kinda shat the bed. I think the SFX in that film was pretty great and they absolutely NAILED the Orc's but I think it was too much blabbering and not enough Stormwind knight smashing Horde face from atop his Gryphon.
Because dnd is a moronic board game for nerds. You can have real dramatic stakes in the game and take it seriously but you inevitably remember that you're at your friends house eating pizza and it becomes a joke. You can't make dnd into lotr and have it work, there needs to be levity.
Probably because it was board game.
Closer to the 1970s fantasy novels it was based on. Gygax actually hated LotR and only threw in hobbits because he knew it was popular.
Because there's no way to take it seriously so they try to lean into the humor of it when all it is is cringe.
Same reason it's ok to have blacks in a DnD movie. Because DnD by its very nature is moronic self insert fantasy
spoken like a woman, unironically
this is why you keep them out of your hobbies, unless the hobby is something physical like hiking or whatever. never ever allow women into a non-physical hobby.
It's one thing taking LOTR lore seriously but when by its very nature DnD is about creating Mary Sue self inserts don't be surprised when blacks and women start appearing
Aragorn is black now
Yeah and that's moronic DnD was ALWAYS moronic
Is just cope
have you considered suicide? not in minecraft, IRL.
DnD isn't about creating mary sue self inserts, that's what women think it's about. The whole point of DnD is to NOT do that. Otherwise you wouldn't even be doing any RPing, you'd just be rolling dice. The very existence of concepts like alignments put the lie to your claim. Of course, alignments are passé now, which is exactly my point. Women started getting into the hobby, *they* can't do anything other than self-insert into characters, so they remove all the roleplay things like alignments and class/race restrictions and bans on monster races and so on.
DnD, in early eighties, when it was actually highly popular and culturally impactful, was a brutal bloodbath, where characters were generated in 10-15 minutes and dropped like flies, and where adventures, for all of their faults, were explicitly meant to test actual players sitting at the table, not stats of their avatars. You're talking out of your ass.
>ROLE playing game
You’re an inept amoeba
How can you be older than 15 and ask a question like that?
Because modern ‘comedy’ is the preferred delivery vehicle for loxism, misandry and heterophobia.
Do you want a serious answer?
Since the last edition of DnD involving some actual (questionable) game design was 3.0, the game was slowly dying, blundering from one edition which made the game actively worse to another. But with 5E WotC managed to strike a gold vein by sheer accident.
By that time the crowd of dungeoncrawling, number-crunching spergs mostly fricked off to play Pathfinder (which is also bad). And people who cared about reproducing fantasy stories on tabletop played their own houserules or any of the dozes of obscure systems. 5E was simplified, but not simple enough to attract kids, too.
But there was that big crowd of nerds, who excused their hobbies by "but we enjoy them ironically", the same onions thanks to whom capeshit now has to be filled with quips and self-aware jokes. And after some of them, most importantly gays from Critical Role, started posting videos of their shitty Reddit-tier comedy campaigns on social media, 5E got a big boost in popularity among the likes of them.
So basically the actual identity of DnD now more or consists of codifying shitty DnD tropes which DMs were ashamed to use before and stupid shit done by clueless or bored players, as crucial parts of DnD and then making fun of them.
Damn does anyone play BECMI/Rules Cylopedia anymore? I hate all this 5E reddit nonsense, that shit is magic the gathering the RPG
Yes, but I will admit like 90% of the OSR is either playing straight Mentzer Basic, AD&D 1E or some of the retro clones that make mild modifications of it like AS&SH.
Mentzer is like second-tier popular along with 2E and more breakaway stuff like ACKS.
Third-tier is trashy shit that calls itself OSR despite having nothing to do with the playstyle of early D&D, most often championed by redditors. (eg if you go on a moron hangout like /r/osr there's a 50% chance this is what they'll tell you to play)
>Why do they keep trying to make DnD into a comedy?
Two words - Critical Role
Authenticity and Cringe have a lot of overlap. Cynicism and wit allow you to portray things which if shown authentically may well be uncool.
When you actually go full-blast and produce highly authentic, serious, unironic fantasy and it works you get LOTR Kino, when you do it and it sucks you get Deathstalker. The fear of being cringe is so great that studios lean on comedy and cynicism to avoid the thing feeling too authentic.
>Why do they keep trying to make DnD into a comedy?
But why cater to a dying genre? Marvel with its comedy is dying, but HotD with all its seriousness is a success.
Becaue DnD is a joke. and you're embarrassing for playing it.
Trying to emulate the laughs you would have when playing the tabletop. However it almost always falls short. There should be a balance but most writers are incapable of that it seems.
>make movie aimed at a very niche audience
>does worse than cookie cutter superhero bullshittery
Oh no, how did this happen?
It's not 1985. DnD is not niche anymore.
>tfw no qt ginger daughter
She literally told people to "go watch the movie" with a straight face in one of Rodriguez stories lol
>dungeons and dragons movie
>in 2023
what the frick were they thinking?
Dungeons and dragons is probably at its peak popularity ever. It’s well known to normies through tv shows and pop culture where actually sitting down and doing it was a lot more niche before
NTA but nobody outside usa know what D&D is
are you mad? not angry mad, insane mad?
I live in the UK and have lived in France and Germany and you're dead wrong, anyone who plays board games and almost everyone who plays video games knows what D&D is and D&D podcasts are incredibly popular.
I'm from South America and nobody here knows what D&D is, sir-
I had friends in my shitty patagonian town of 30k people playing D&D and latest magic sets 20 years ago
Oh yeah? Well I once took a shit at waffle house.
Pablo?
no Black
The frick are you talking about? Every nerd in South America knows what D&D is.
stupid smelly brownoid manlet thinks every country except america is like his shitskinistan
>Dungeons and dragons is probably at its peak popularity ever.
dyrbi
Lmfao
They are a joke
I don't know if per capita it is at it's most played, but by sheer population increase alone it most definitely is.
>Dungeons and dragons is probably at its peak popularity ever
lol
lmao even
It literally is. Between 5E, Critical Role, Stranger Things and others, it's never been more widely played in its history.
D&D has gotten a bunch of secondaries onboard but the actual hobby peak was like 1983 or thereabouts back when it sold like 800k copies each year in tertiary markets alone.
3 edition sold millions of copies each .
I'm talking about a single book like the mentzer red box. In Japan alone it sold 800k.
That's not counting all the modules, AD&D line being in every single walmart etc.
Also for 3E that's what WotC claimed was the combined sales of their original corebooks after 2 years. They never release their full separated sales numbers for the new stuff but bundle it up with lots of other shit to make it come off better.
Except covid nearly killed any form of board games.
Even after LOTR and GOT/HotD, the words 'Dungeons and Dragons' conjure up visions of overweight cheeto crumb-dusted high school losers. They also desiccate veganas for 500 mile radius. The only way to market a D&D movie with any hope of success is to not include the words D&D.
‘Let’s kickstart the Hasbro cinematic universe!’
Yes it’s as fricking daft as that.
Hell yeah!
Cool shoes
The narrative is they are all closeted actors that’s why it failed
But I was assured it was the happiest funnestest movie evar. Wha happa..?
Hollywood is dead guys
Rejoice
unironically true
the israelites are kicking out the wokeistas
and that's just the start
>leftists are kicking out leftists
Sure.
Just the ones that can't push profitable propaganda.
>coloreds in medieval fantasy
pass
The cover looks extremely zogged.
d&d just seems very reddit to me, am i wrong?
Now it is. In the past you could crack open a D&D book and see girls in bikini armor, and nerdy fantasy shit. Not anymore.
D&D is owned by a company called Wizards of the Coast, and they went full woke and made a bunch of awful business decisions. I think they even went as far as removing words like sex and race and master and slave from their guide books. They were seriously banking on this movie to be a big hit because they basically kicked all white men out of the hobby.
The current iteration of D&D pretty much only exists to pander to redditorgays.
Older editions (made by a whole different company with Gygax & co) do not and that's why a significant contingent do not play anything but older editions and there's a whole movement within the rpg scene called the OSR that champion it.
God, those illustrations are really nostalgic. WotC really fricked the franchise.
Look at the drama over GiantLands. The new generation of RPG players are fricking woke pussies. I hate them so much.
Yeah, but the thing is the guy behind that is a grifter (in the actual sense of the word not the modern youtube political) so even the people who think the convention prostitutes are utterly moronic aren't getting involved. He tried to use the TSR name but the stuff he was shilling was more targeting the nu-crowd.
It's not fair bros
ugly little monkey
Anyone got that webm of Sophia slowly turning her head to the camera? I find it hilarious.
monke my wif <3
Fricking Irish potatoBlack person genes...
Monke
Her profile looks like the old timey anti-Irish propaganda illustrations.
She's looks cute.
this picture was the first thing I thought of when I saw
hnnnggg, my heart!
she has that irish phenotype
>We also love emasculating leading men.
Gee I can't imagine why it will bomb.
Dunno, I kinda want to watch DnD if it ends up being good, but I don't have any interest in most of the capeslop.
I would pay good money to frick her oiled up delicious pits
Why are people surprised? COVID pretty much killed theaters, most recently released movies have underperformed.
I saw the trailer for this movie yesterday for John Wick. It was literally some generic voice-over saying “CRITICS ARE RAVING OVER DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. IT’S THE MOST FUN YOU’LL EVER HAVE AT THE MOVIES.” Worst marketing I’ve seen in a while
>claims it'll bomb
>doesn't cite any sources
Pretty sure it has not one, but two black leads (one homosexual) and Michelle Rodriguez. If it doesn't bomb, I'll cut my BWC off.
A gritty, gory DND film a la Apocalypto with the look and feel of the first Lord of the Rings films would make bank.
Where are your numbers?
He looks delightfully squishy.
She’ll transition like the Juno girl once she figures out her career is over. Sorry Soph bros
It’s “he”, you bigot!
It's fine she likes dicks
https://www.reddit.com/user/sophialillis
she's a coomer
Sophia Lillis is truly one of the actors of our time
How does it compare to that shitty 2000s DnD movie?
cast her
Bro this shit apparently has the same exact costuming department as The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising, except that movie was made for like $50, and this one is a billion-dollar blockbuster.
Eyes on the right are too dead to play an evil warlock
Disgusting little monkey, ugly ugly feet
>israelite writers admit they purposely emasculated the White Male character(s)
Please give me irish monkee alcoholic gf
Where are the estimates, OP?
What the frick are those vienna sausages?
SOPHIA IS A NOTORIOUS FOOTbawd AND PITWHOEE
as she should be, she has amazing feet
and thank god she hates shoes
she deserves nothing but peasantry with those fricking digusting toes
baffled at why OP keeps posting this picture when she has some of the ugliest feet out of any celebrity
frick her and frick her toes
Her toes are mid as frick frfr
They're cute.
>makes claim
>gives no source
Imagine sliding a hand up that soft, milky thigh
They released this right after some big fiasco surrounding DnD where everyone was shitting on them. Their own fans turned against them. Who was going to see this movie? Despite pushing it to normies, DnD is still for weird shut ins. It's not Marvel.
Why would this be deleted? Is she still not 18?
Try to make an on-topic Mackenzie Foy thread, see what happens. Jannies just despise cute white actresses for some reason.
Foy isn't cute, that's why her threads get deleted
Foy, Soph and Kiki are the cutest girls in the world tho
>Kiki
you mean elle hollywood? that's a dude
>kiki
Did you meant Cailee?
>Cailee
literally who?
They get deleted cause of haters. She's the cutest.
Her forehead is very distracting.-
Quite impressively early for estimates, given the film doesn't come out til next week, OP.
the film isn't even out
how can it have "estimates"?
These boots look awful
>Dungeons & Dragons’ Box Office Estimates Worse Than Shazam: Fury of the Gods
Good. Frick 'em for their emasculation comments.
What did they say?
Ni!
This seems like it'd have made an alright module for NWN but I still don't care about it.
Fake news.
cope
The film doesn't come out for another week. There are literally no "estimates".
Sophia starring in an Alfred E. Neuman movie when?
their fault they should have done this
I can’t wait for the AI version without brown people.
>hating Diana the Acrobat
holy mother of shit taste. acquiring steamy exotic amazoness snu-snu is the most important side quest you can ever complete in DnD
I'll bash that unicorn good!
>implying anyone who plays D&D has five IRL friends
smelly irish feets
perfect for kissing
I wouldn't know. Like most /tg/ gays I gave up on the film the second I saw what the cast looked like.
The rest gave up once the directors tried to explain how they were emasculating the main character but it's totally coincidental that the one white guy gets emasculated and not woke at all.
for me, it would be inserting slowly and deeply inside Soph. Don't even care about the foreplay or the sex, just insertion, it would be a high point of my day
Caaaaaaalled it. You're not going to make the cast 90% non-white, toss in an elderly dyke as the strong, masculine character and spend the entire movie shitting on the white guy and expect people to flock to the theaters.
Sophia is salvageable though. Her character I mean. In a few years they can try again with another cast, another script. The entire party is replaced, except for Doric. Although to be honest, I pirated it so I could pick apart every defense made of it. Sophia complained about this in one of her interviews and she tried to play it off like she was joking but it was true. I'm paraphrasing but she basically said "I'm barely in the movie, most of the time I'm some animal." And it's true, in like 70% of her scenes she's a fricking owlbear. And a reminder, they had to change the entire ruleset to accommodate her doing this. Was genuinely disappointed in how little of it she was in, she doesn't show up until like halfway through. I haven't actually sat down and watched it start to finish yet because to be honest, nothing but Sophia in it interests me at all.
The black paladin is barely in it also, not sure if he dies or goes on a quest or some shit, but he's the only male character they don't spend the runtime shitting on. His scenes looked nauseautingly worshipful. There's also a half black princess played by the little goblin from "My Spy". It's kind of funny, I saw her in initial set photos but when they saw how negative the response was to the largely non-white cast they cut her from all the marketing. She's in it for more than either the paladin or Hugh Grant's character, she's in the final fight.
Oh, and as for the D&D party from the cartoon being in it? More like people cosplaying as them. It's clearly distinctly different people wearing their costumes. They don't look like them. The little kid barbarian for example? Movie version has a beard.
God I want to cum all over those toes and watch her lick it all up
i would gladly lick it up for you, chief
I literally just saw it in an advance screening that was 2/3rds full, more full than any other movie I've seen for a year I might add.
Oh wow, well good thing we have your personal anecdote to counter all these pesky facts and evidence huh.
>2/3rds full
DIRE.
And what "pesky facts and evidence" would you be talking about here? Given OP didn't actually include any.
https://cosmicbook.news/dungeons-dragons-box-office-estimates-worse-shazam-fury-gods
>Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves cost around $151 million to make so those numbers aren’t good by any means, which is actually more than the $100 million budget for Shazam: Fury of the Gods.
>Estimates come from Box Office Pro who revised their numbers from higher estimates just a couple of weeks ago as tracking had Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves opening between $23M and $30M (for a comparison they estimated Shazam! $37M-$46M at the time) but now the potential numbers are a bit lower on the “worst case scenario” side of things.
Cosmicbook? The literal fake news site? That's your source? Are you going to cite We Got This Covered next?
Find me the article with the fake news.
The part where OP tried to present his headline as actual box office numbers
The word "estimates" is right in the text ya doof. These movies usually do even worse than the tracking.
How do you fix someone like Soph?
Irish husband who's a bigger drunk to beat her into sobriety
profound penile penetration
Pregnancy?
Write a series of novels, fantasy and sci-fi.
Become a famous, acclaimed author.
Use money to purchase the movie rights to various fantasy series.
Produce several faithful adaptations, meet Sophia. Offer her a part in exchange for her sobriety.
Build a relationship with her. Play games with her, make puzzles with her, read her stories while she lays under a blanket against your chest, promise you'll put her in all your movies. Offer her another "part" then. A "position on your staff" so to speak. Marry while she's still in her twenties. Get her pregnant in a moment of passion. She freaks out because of her mother and brother's deformities. Argue about it. It puts a strain on your relationship. Convince her you'll love her no matter what. Remind her how wonderful her mother and brother are. Bond over this. Spend your retirement raising your flipperbaby crab people.
Oop- I got distracted by my dog. Meant to add, do you think they made Soph an owlbear for so many of her scenes because of her drinking problem affecting filming?
>do you think they had the shape shifting character change forms because of BTS drama I've made up in my head based on nothing at all
No that's moronic
But it's established that her drinking effected filming, and she complains in interviews that most of her scenes are as a cgi monster. I don't think it's too far-fetched there was at least one instance where they were like "Sophia's really sick and can't come to the set." "Frick it, film the scene without her and we'll just add in the owlbear later, it's whatever."
Tfw no alcoholic redhead furry gf
I want to press my nose up against and take a giant whiff of her fart box.
Shazambros.......There is a light in the tunnel.....
I want to drown her in my piss
The main problem is that it's seen that DnD has no plot, thus you have to make up something random. That's true if you just look at game mechanics. But modules are just straight up novels worth of story. Just adapt those! God damn. I gurantee the execs don't know aobut these at all.
Did she play the baby in Freddy?
I've literally just finished wanking. Oh well, back to it
wait didnt they already make this movie and it bombed like 2 decades ago?
it was woke too and featured a wayans brother as a protagonist who sexually harrassed the black female elf character
since it was already woke, and already a failed comedy, what the FRICK was the point of doing this again
Yeah but it was okay then because the black elf chick was actually hot.
its fricking awful and bombed severely, what was the point of doing the EXACT same formula again
Hollywood never learns. I wasn't saying the first movie wasn't shit, it is. It was completely terrible, but I'd still frick the shit out of this elf. Miscegenate twice over. Create an entirely new sub-race with this pretty little darkling.
Of course it's like 60% that chest plate.
Oh Tom Baker, how disappointing it was that you were in this.
I guess the idea was that if the CGI was better and the D&D brand was more exposed it would be an instant hit.
>wait didnt they already make this movie and it bombed like 2 decades ago?
>why did they try a popular IP again 20 years later when times have changed
Are you actually moronic?
is she old enough to bone yet?
She's 21 or 22.
Why is this thread still up? OP gave no source and the film isn't even out.
unf she has the Naruto sex shoes on
>cosmicbook dot news
not even once
>Uh-oh, there are facts and a source! OP wasn't just memeing. Shit, shit, and I'm the one who got it posted! How do I backtrack this before I get fired...
>...I know! I'll just say the source isn't reputable! Yeah!!
>"news" so useless you can't even use it to line the bottom of a birdcage are the only source
isn't that the movie that gleefully admitted to emmasculating men
as in the main audience for anything middle ages related
I WANT THOSE CHUBBY LITTLE PIGGIES ON MY NOSE AND MOUTH AS I'M SHOOTING A HUGE FRICKIN LOAD DEEP INSIDE HER AAAAGGHHGHH
They should ban pixie cuts , I have never seen a woman look good with that hairstyle
>Got into an argument with some guys i play DND with at the gym how this would happen and Shazam would make more money (they were seething that the fricking DND movie didn't get big deluxe cinema over Shazam and i told them i didn't want to go since the movie looked liked they "Marveled that shit up")
>Told me that i live in my own bubble and DND is the massive thing that and no one cares about Shazam
>These frickers watch shit like other people play DND online and spend all day on the DND subreddit
>Told them that Shazam is already a proven track record and had a much smaller budget
>They all laughed at me and called me moronic
This actually feel fricking good, just posted it in the group chat
The last good fantasy movie came out 20 years ago, israelitewood has produced nothing good since then.
maybe the movie would have done better if they hired an all white cast
The Box Office Pro website, which looks like the most credible outfit for this when I searched, updated their forecast saying D&D could make on higher estimates more than Shazam 2 on opening weekend, and on lower estimates for totals more than Shazam 2 lifetime, maybe a lot more if word of mouth is good.
Don't be a fricking scaredy cat pussy/media cuck, just watch the movie for yourself if it scratches your itch and decide for yourself if it deserves a rewatch or sequels.
I enjoyed the movie in a nearly empty cinema. A whole bunch of kids snuck in during the fat dragon chase scene, sat down, then left. Even for free this movie didn't appeal. Wish they just had the entire movie be the arena, a DnD arena movie kinda like that BG expansion would be sweet.
What country are you in where random kids can sneak to watch this, and when did that happen?
Do you have guards in your cinema or something? Just open the door and walk in.
How do I get past Robert?
Robert's been fired, I work here now that the movie didn't do so hot. What can I get you?
You're ass
I am?
If it wasn't clear, when and where?
>when and where
why does it matter?
Ok, even assuming IMDB are idiots about not showing Aussies could watch this already through limited or advanced anythings compared to the west (considering they've been happy about throwing paywalls for their access for a while now), I'm not sure why I should care about what seems like anecdotal evidence right now. There's not even previews figures yet. If you want to watch the movie just watch it.
I did watch the movie, and enjoyed it. It was a shit movie, but I'm a sucker for dudes walking and questing.
Australia, if you already have a ticket you just walk into another theatre after your movie is done. Could spend a whole day there if you don't be an idiot.
Ticket checkers are at an entrance to the hall where all the theaters are, they don't check once you're inside the hall.
I think I was in the same movie theatre as you
They made a comedy movie out this? The frick were they thinking?
The only D&D movie worth watching is a serious fantasy film where you see everything as they imagine it and game mechanics are incorporated into the movie for serious players. But you never see what the actual players look like until the end credits.
I've been shown comedic D&D comics or sketches that look like they were drawn before I was born.
What the frick are those shoes?
I was gonna watch it until they literally wrote an article saying they were going to gay up the lead "but not for woke reasons, we swear." What a bunch of morons israelites are nowadays.
Thoughts
I think I need a link because that's a pretty safe bet and I could probably clean up. I'll put down a thousand and make enough for a car.
Sportsbet ( Australian betting site )
I don't know, John Wick is doing pretty well.
Yeah, but Mario is a family film with insanely broad appeal. If the emasculation is fixed/doesn't get any worse it's looking like a pretty safe bet.
Bros, any good fantasy? Not Rothfuss and Sanderson tho
does anyone have the screenshot collage?
>Trailer
>Guys are the goofy sidekicks or villains
>Women are the strong powerful ones
Guys will see that and not see the film
Women will see "Dungeons and Dragons" and not see the film
Hollywood is fricking moronic
Saw it on Friday (Ausbro here) and it's not bad. Probably 7/10.
The first half hour kinda drags as they put the party together but after that it's very reminiscent of the random bullshit you pull at the gaming table while trying to avoid the DM's railroad as much as possible. Normies will like the humour.
I wish they had leaned more into the setting- it becomes obvious early on that it's the Forgotten Realms but they didn't really go balls to the wall with the frickery of that setting.
On the other hand by avoiding leaning into the setting too hard they didn't have to explain why Drizz't, Eminister, Khelben Blackstaff or whoever else didn't come in and solve all the problems themselves which is a bonus.
It's not perfect but it's good enough, and a massive improvement over the prior efforts. Far better than slop like Mortal Kombat from recent times.
I would say that Wrath of the Dragon God and Book of Vile Darkness are both better D&D movies. Which isn't saying much as the latter is still awful, but I thought what they did with it was pretty clever at least for a little while.
Main character's a low level lawful good type, I don't know which class, fighter or knight or whatever. His dad gets abducted by bad guys so he has to infiltrate this party of chaotic evil characters, and it's about the stuff he does so they accept him and how it's stated clearly that by the end of the film, his alignment has changed. There's a scene where he's tested by this gross little demon girl that will react negatively if it tastes good, but it tastes nothing but evil on him. Also he bones this evil wizard chick.
I find that difficult to believe, it won't do great but it will do ok
Open toe leg sandals are so hot. I equip all my female followers in skyrim with them, I don't play as a female though because that's gay.
Does she exist in the Everything Everywhere all at Once Sausage-Feet universe?
>Spend two years demonising people for going outside.
>fill movies with (justifiably) hated minority groups but instead of portraying then honestly show them behaving like white people behave.
>create unprecedented economic strife amongst the group most likely to purchase you products.
Gee, I wonder why all these movies are tanking?
disgusting feet
shut the frick up and put them on your wiener
She monke?
Good. Any media that portrays men as weak and women as strong deserves to fricking die. I had enough, I'm not consuming any more media.
who is the alcoholic pedophilic war criminal who invented those shoes?
like really, who has a mind that twisted?
she's literally asking for it
What do you mean by "It"?
muh BWC
Big White Clown?
Celtic genes crave to be subjugated and erased by big strong Germanic genes.
My thoughts...the first trailers the one with the Led Zeppelin song of whatever made me think "Oh, this looks slightly entertaining. Maybe I'll watch it with the wife and be slightly entertained." Then the tone in the advertising turned to Forspoken style "Holy heckin cow fellow nerds, were fighting DRAGONS in a DUNGEON XD" and finally...these awkward as frick old spice commercials in-between my YT missing 411 videos sealed the deal for me. Just be cool. Be confident. Don't...act like you're movie is an inside.joke that everyone is in on. Fricking sell that shit DnD style...skinny brown mage didn't sell it.
Too much comedy, not enough cool. Imagine though...
"Jumanji 3: SackNSlash edtion"
If you're going for the meta slapstick, go that way. That's the way to make it happen. Same shtick, more meta. Don't make a movie with characters that are less invested in their own story than they expect the audience to be.
Literally no one wants to watch a Dungeons & Dragons movie.
Normies probably think it's a sequel to something because of the subtitle.
Those who know what D&D is wouldn't go near it with a 10ft pole because it's lame nerd shit.
Those who play D&D wouldn't watch it because they are probably too scared the leave their house.
It's because they cast the wrong monke
Milly "I won't be satisfied with some, I need" Alwiener.
thick, sticky white ropes all over her pretty face
Toes detected.
Good
Just got back from seeing it with my long time D&D group. At the movies they played an ad for it saying "releasing March 30" lmao. Overall it was pretty camp but surprisingly fun. I give them a bit of a pass on the quips because making terrible out of place jokes is actually someone authentic to something like DND