Ever noticed how every time something really unpleasant shows up it is related to Pippin showing up nearby or doing something? Pippin joins the party? Black rider finds them. Pippin skips a stone on a lake? Sudden kraken. Pippin plays with a helmet in Moria? Balrog encounter (plus cave troll and goblins). It even works in reverse. Uruk Hai decide to mess with Pippin? Sudden cavalry charge in the middle of the night. In the extended edition we even get Pippin rushing to Gandalf during the battle of Minas Tirith and as soon as he finds him? Witch King shows up to mess with them.
total pippin death
reminding that in the book the journey from Bag End to Crickhollow and then to Bree is fantastic slow burn A24 slowburn horror kino, the film really didn't capture it at all, also Fatty Bolger is kino as well
>is fantastic slow burn A24 slowburn horror kino
is that what kids are calling "boring" nowadays?
A24 has been making kino since before you were born.
We're supposed to believe that the magic is leaving Middle Earth with the elves and wizards going west and stuff, but the Hobbits couldn't walk a dozen miles from the Shire without constantly stumbling into magical bullshit.
The Shire is on the edge of the world, isn't it? I mean as a backwater far off from the 'important parts', the kind of place that IRL still has people driving around in cars from the late 90s because its off the beaten path where things largely remain the same. It'd make sense for the Shire and the surrounding areas to be some of the last magical places in Middle Earth near the end.
It’s right next to the troll infested woods and in the realm of the destroyed and abandoned kingdom of Arnor. The shire is next to Mordor light
tom bombadil ruins it
outside of the black rider the first "scary" or out there situation is old man willow which tom saves them from and then again with the barrow wights which is just an absolutely kino scene and location is again ruined by tom bombadil
and the bombadil introduction/scenes occur too soon after they ran into the elf group and it just seems like a retread of the same but less interesting
Pippin plays with the EVIL FORBIDDEN DARK LORD SATAN DISCORD CALL SPHERE? Aragorn gets mindfricked by Sauron and Arwen's presumably final gift to him is shattered.
No, that happens when Aragorn personally challenges Sauron through Denethor's Palantir. That's the second time the good guys use the rock, not the first when Pippin touches it.
that was such a fricking stupid scene. is it only in the extended version? it felt out of character for aragorn but i understand it was the beginning of the whole "we gotta distract this dude or Frodo wont make it" thing
>that was such a fricking stupid scene. is it only in the extended version?
Pretty sure it was extended only. People like to talk about how amazing the extended editions are, but there were a bunch of really dumb scenes that deserved to be cut and thankfully were for the theatrical release. Like the Witch-King one-shotting Gandalf.
He does that in the book as well.It makes Sauron belive that Aragorn has the Ring and it's why he sends his entire army to the Black Gate.
And what did he do when Boromir succumbed to the ring?
“Here’s the thing. There was almost nudity in the movies,” Boyd said. “Philippa Boyens, she wrote a scene, because we’d been doing some kind of gags and winding people up. She said, ‘Oh, it’s a new scene we’re filming next week, with the Ents...When Merry and Pippin are up Treebeard, he gets afraid and shakes his branches, which makes you guys fall, and as you hit all the branches on the way down, by the time you hit the ground, you’re naked. And Merry turns to Pippin and says, ‘It’s cold, isn’t it?’ And Pippin says, ‘Hold me, Merry.’”
To be fair to Boyen and proponents of Middle-Earth skin, Tolkien, a Catholic who certainly inserted religious themes throughout his books, did write a scene where the hobbits shed their clothes. As noted Tolkien expert Stephen Colbert notes, the hobbits meet up with Tom Bombadil early on in their adventure after escaping an attack, and Bombadil encourages them to “cast off these cold rags and run naked on the grass” to relax after their harrowing ordeal.
While it appears the nude scene with Merry and Pippin was never actually filmed, Monaghan implied that he would have been more than fine with it.
“I was kind of into it. I have a really fantastic ass,” Monaghan said.
Monaghan and Boyd appeared on Colbert while promoting their new Lord of the Rings-focused podcast, “The Friendship Onion.”
>appeared on Colbert while promoting their new Lord of the Rings-focused podcast
Oof
>Tolkien, a Catholic who certainly inserted religious themes throughout his books, did write a scene where the hobbits shed their clothes
Do people think Catholics are nevernudes? Notice the size of their families. Just cause a group frowns on public puppy play or pegging in front of children does not mean they don't do the do.
On a related note it's interesting how his Catholic influence slips in but he leaves Middle Earth itself largely secular
Obviously deity style entities exist but there's no real worshipping going on. The place doesn't really have churches or temples.
>The place doesn't really have churches or temples
Numenor's fall is all about stopping to keep faith with the Valar and so on, no?
It makes sense for Bombadil to say something like that because he's extremely carefree but making a nude scene with the Ents as some comedic gag would've been The Hobbit levels of cringe.
>by the time you hit the ground, you’re naked. And Merry turns to Pippin and says, ‘It’s cold, isn’t it?’ And Pippin says, ‘Hold me, Merry.’”
>As noted Tolkien expert Stephen Colbert notes
uhhhh
>outsmarts Satan Jr. through the Palantir
>Farmer Maggot tells a Nazgul to frick off
>Sam shanked a spider demon and resisted the ring
every Hobbit is a chad
So what are you saying, that Pippin is a sleeper agent for Sauron who has been in deep cover in Hobbitton for 30 years?
He didn't do a very good job then since Sauron lost in the end. Perhaps because he's a fool of a Took.
Why didn't Gandalf just throw him down the well in Moria?
He impersonated Frodo and let the Uruk-hai capture him. He's a legend.
He also saved Faramir
That axe wielding Uruk-hai didn't get the memo about not hurting the halflings, he would have a lot of explanations to do for the Sauronman
omg everyone's a critic of everyone else's work. He was lost in the moment for a second. You try to not be!
In all fairness it's literally his first day on the job
And he was only born a few months ago.
"It's my first day"
OH N-
>the first thing Boromir does to this Uruk is kick him in the balls full force.
How mad would you be if that wasn't scripted and a drunken Sean Bean suddenly punted you in the balls on "accident"?
tbh if I got to wear the Uruk armor & be paid for it, you could shoot me and I wouldn't really care.
respectable
Uruks were apparently mostly Maoris from the Mew Zealand armed forces. The rohirrim were horse chicks with fake beards. They brought their own horse.
>They brought their own horse
That's rad
>Mew Zealand
Is that the one under the truck?
The armour was probably good enough to stop a bullet in those movies.
I can't stop laughing at my mental image of this.
The Maori extras were all big guys for you but they didn't want to get hit with a blunted yet very real metal ax. They said "try not to hit us with the edge of your ax John, but if you do, it's all right." John hit every single one.
it's that or another take
or you walk off
what's it be ungobunga
Why didn't Sauron design the uruk-hai with their balls inside their bodies?
>WHY DID YOU KILL THOSE HOBBITS YOU IMBECILE?!
He was probably thinking of an outdated menu.
Was meat not on that menu then?
It was, that's why he was excited. Why do you think it was "back on" the menu?
I thought he said "Bacon" the menu
yes, he's a disappointingly one-note character in the films, but they couldn't fit everything. I would've loved to see Merry and Pippin as they evolved in the books, becoming leaders
>you are a stupid childlike sheltered little man who constantly fricks up
>but I need you to free solo climb 100m up this shear rock face so you can commit an arson attack in front of a bunch of armed soldiers, then climb down again
>off you go young scamp, remember the fate of the free world rests on you. Don't slip!
The film really lost me when they started playing the mission impossible theme during that scene.
>Cinemaphile will never crowdfund a kino LOTR parody
some of the Moria orc actors were women to appear smaller too
>YOWEE-ZOWEE
>peter jackson's dog covers his eyes with his paws
>sean bean's agent: I don't get paid enough for this job!
~~*Pippin*~~
Pippin is Eru
>He snapped his fingers in Frodo's face - ‘King's messengers! That for them! When I see one, I'll take notice, perhaps.’
>This was too much for Pippin. His thoughts went back to the Field of Cormallen, and here was a squint-eyed rascal calling the Ring-bearer ‘little wiener-a-whoop'. He cast back his cloak, flashed out his sword, and the silver and sable of Gondor gleamed on him as he rode forward.
>‘I am a messenger of the King,’ he said. ‘You are speaking to the King's friend, and one of the most renowned in all the lands of the West. You are a ruffian and a fool. Down on your knees in the road and ask pardon, or I will set this troll's bane in you!
Pippin is badass
Some people are just trouble
The uruk hai have to be the biggest non-threat I have ever seen. They have full plate armor but die with ease from a single hit. What's the point of being these giant muscular beasts covered in armor and still die like little b***hes.
Maybe you shouldn't have an army of literal 5 day old man beasts.
This is why they should've all been suicide soldiers.
this dude always reminds me of the screaming headless bomb guys from Serious Sam
>the scream plays in all of your audio channels so you don't know what direction he's coming from
10/10 enemy concept
love these crazy guys
nightmare fuel
in this moment i was on the uruk's side. watching them cheer him on was poignant
I have imagined an alternate story in which saruman discovers black powder and then instead of shoving it into an iron bomb, keeps his thinking wizard's hat on and realises that the energy it releases could be used to propel a tiny ball of lead down an iron barrel
>the uruk army arrives at helm's deep
>each man armed with a matchlock musket fitted with waterproof cover over the action, flask of shot and a sealed pouch of flint and striker
>stop well outside of bow range and form ranks
>uruk bombardiers wheel cannon to the front rank
>blast the lower battlements to smithereens
>legolas and gimli are killed instantly
>cannon turned on the deeping wall, pound it to rubble
>aragorn leaves the tower of the hornburg and marshals the elves for a charge through the ruins of the deep
>volley musket fire cuts them all to pieces
>front two ranks advance to the deeping wall
>cannon are wheeled to the causeway and destroy the gate
>a troop of uruks fix bayonets and enter through the destroyed gates in a pincer to meet the front ranks of uruks who have advanced over the rubble of the deeping wall
>theoden flees to the throne room and commits suicide
>uruk troops fix bayonets and enter the caves
>gandalf and eomer issue a cavalry charge from the east and are met with devastating fire from the rear guard
>rohan: destroyed as a functional entity
>isengard: no casualties reported
>rohan becomes isengard vassal
>isengard forms three armies, one heads south to gondor, another heads into fangorn forest, and a third heads east to meet sauron's forces
>saruman is lord of middle earth
And then a magical forest appears in the middle of your ranks and you find yourself isolated and lost in the thick of it, unable to find anything to navigate by as the trees constantly shift and you're bombarded by the nonstop screaming of your fellow soldiers being slaughtered by some mysterious force.
Helms Deep was massively rewritten for the movies. There were no elves there apart from Legolas and the Rohirim were all couped up in the fort along with Theoden. What saved the day was the ents waking the huorns to go shitkick Sarumans orcs. It was only Legolas with his elven eyes that was able to see that the huorns were living creatures. Everyone else just saw a big forest.
Between the tree army and the ghost army you really have to wonder why Saruman thought fighting Rohan would be easier than fighting Sauron
>macbeth but the trees are actually walking
Token is a fricking hack
you are so fricking moronic that it's not even funny and actually just sad
if we're going this route why didn't he just invent railroads and larger industry and rule middle earth as a robber baron instead of fricking around with orc eugenics and ancient evils
reading your shit daydream made me realize planned parenthood is needed after all. youre worse than a redditor
None of Saruman's plans made sense, I assume he was based on some guy who Tolkien didn't like
Yeah what was the point of raiding Rohan with your orcs and Uruks having your logo plastered everywhere just so when Eomer brings it up to a possessed Theoden, Wormtongue just goes "lol no"
Why blame it all on the Dunlendings, that Saruman riled up so his Uruk army would have been an actually surprise.
>born in a stable in Rohan
>on horseback by age 3
>train for 20+ years to fight on horseback
>fight off raiding orcs in your lands for years
>survive exile when your king goes batty
>return and survive battle of Helm's Deep
>called up again to aid Gondor
>riding hard into battle, for the fate of the world
>orc arrow volley drops you, game over
War sucks
Its funny to think that most of the people bragging to have won battles / war veterans are largely the homosexuals that were in the back and didnt do shit.
>manage to survive a full sprint charge into a orc host
>orcs are routing, everything is looking up for random rohan rider #431
>Horns are blowing in the distances
>It's a line of fricking Mûmakil charging toward the battle
>Hear Theodon king yelling some bullshit about reforming the line
>random rohan rider #431 and everyone else have no idea how they are going to deal with this shit
>Only instructions you recieve from the King is to take them head on
>charge
>last thought random rohan rider #431 has before getting taken out by a massive tusk is that Hobbits call them Oliphaunts
>war elephants bigger than gothic cathedrals
>idk we’ll fricking charge them on our horses I guess
Tactical genius.
it was all adrenaline at that point
besides, hitting them in the hamstrings seemed to work sorta
Theoden and Rohan warriors never fought Mumakils before. Hard to do a good strategy against something you don't know shit about.
Orcs always make prisoners if given the chance while humans genocide them arbitrarily.
Because they want to eat you and fresh meat is always better. Man simply exterminates the corruption of Orc-kind when he finds it.
You're saying...he's the key to all this?
>Pippin goes to Minas Tirith - ... yeah
I hate this little shit like you wouldn't believe.
Meriadoc is cool tho.
Alfrid Lickspittle won
Would
"Fool" coding. It's a literary/mythological trope/character.
He is the spirit of unpredictability embodied within the story.
Got a big plan and big quest? It's not gonna go how you think it is.
Not specifically about "this one character that if you can identify and get rid of him things will go well for you". He is is an eternal element present in any human endeavor. And his shenanigans don't always result in disaster. They allow for discovery, and other paths to open up too.
When people were taught the classics rather than common core garbage. The audience or reader would intuitively come to know these sorts of characters, expect them, accept them, learn from them, and know to keep an eye of them when the story started to draw focus on them.
Modern shiterature nowadays seeks to psychoanalyze them. "Reinterpret" them. "Save" them. Make them the main character etc. When they used to be one of a pantheon of representative forces present in any story.
No Bombadil
No Peace
Elves don't really die so this wasn't much of a sacrifice
They die harder than Men and go into Sheol until the world can be remade. Meanwhile Men die and instantly pop up in Heaven.
I thought they reform in the hall of mandos and then can eventually go into Valinor and live a normal elf life
I watched the felloship yesterday and was thinking the same thing. I think he fricks up the palantir later too
>lit the beacons of gondor
>indirectly caused gandalf to power up
>made treebeard to go towards the cut down forest which led to the ents fricking up isengard
>his moron behavior with the palantir allows them to know that sauron is planning to attack minas tirith
>saves faramir
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for the men that will eventually frick her in every hole.
Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to frick her tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.
As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically
>Pippin sings
>Faramir nearly dies
I had a classmate in Uni who looked literally exactly like Pippin.
This is one thing the movies fricked up at a very basic level. In the books, Pippin is by far the youngest hobbit, and his whole character arc is about him becoming less of a foolish child. By the time they’re back at the Shire, Pippin and Merry are ent-draught induced gigachad war veterans.
In the Jackon flicks, he’s visibly the oldest and thus seems simply moronic, and is further reduced to one-note comic relief.
Bravo, Pete.