favorite Malcolm bits

favorite Malcolm bits

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the show is great but the problem is Hal mogs all the other characters and jokes.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's true.

      >we've lost him, Lois. He belongs to everyone now

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Cranston is such a talented comedic actor.

        https://i.imgur.com/sAI4wqR.jpg

        favorite Malcolm bits

        >anything w/ Francis in the academy is pure kino
        for me, it's probably Hal on rollerskates or when he gets the bulldozer

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >when he gets the bulldozer
          SLOOOW RIIIIIDE
          TAKE IT EEEEASY

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >lois' face when he starts dancing
        lmao... he's irresistible and she knows it

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        how do you learn to dance like this

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >dance
          dance dance games aren't really dancing - the people always look like fricking morons. now this, however...

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Francis gives him a run for his money in the earlier seasons, but he never really feels like he's part of the family. He's always off doing his own thing

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      no. He was just a normal character. All of the main characters were great. And the stories were great too. People suck his dick too much

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Who was in the wrong here?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The crybaby bastard.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Eating 100 Quaks

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      THE QUACKS. WOULD. EXPAND.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous
  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I remember seeing this as a kid and laughing nonstop

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's true.

      >we've lost him, Lois. He belongs to everyone now

      How does he go from playing Hal to Heisenberg? Really. The range is incredible.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I liked when they tricked us into thinking he was going to be a main character in the Godzilla movie and they killed the only character with a motivation beyond "I wanna go home" so we could focus on Kick Ass instead

        Oh wait. I didn't like that

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, that pissed me off. Had the main character been Cranston instead of his boring son, I wouldn't have minded the blue-balling with the actual Godzilla appearances.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Some actors are.... what's the word I'm looking for... ah yes. Talented.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          How does he go from playing Hal to Heisenberg? Really. The range is incredible.

          Cranston is just a phenomenal actor. He's kinda like Leslie Nielsen, in that the comedy is more from his performance and delivery than the actual comedy writing

          I never watched Breaking Bad because I don't want to see evil Hal

          He's a good actor sure, but the range wasn't that far, he's practically playing a sequel.
          The 6th kid in MITM could easily just be Walt Jr.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Cranston is just a phenomenal actor. He's kinda like Leslie Nielsen, in that the comedy is more from his performance and delivery than the actual comedy writing

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous
        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I swear to god the crystal ship one had to be intentional

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Its a pretty common druggy term.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Oh okay, that makes more sense then. That's a shame, it would have been a cool reference

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            it's a Doors' song

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Is this
          >Breaking Malcom
          or
          >Malcom in the Bad
          >?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Jane's dad allows 2 planes to crash
          Even better, just like with Hal, that was also Walter's fault indirectly.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I never watched Breaking Bad because I don't want to see evil Hal

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You're not missing out on much. Both the show and Cranston peak in Season 1 for 3-4 episodes

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Idk, man.The parts with Mike, Gus and Saul were kino, and the whole build up that led up to the finale is pretty great too.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I don't think the roles are THAT far off. In both he atleast starts as a dorky dad.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        homie wat, Heisenberg is literally Hal but bald and with a potty mouth.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Acting.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        reddit as frick post

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          that's my butthole. you see him? look at him right there. That's my butthole right there

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        With an X-Files episode as a transition

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        comedy and drama are two sides of the same coin. I really don't see why an actor wouldn't be able to do both unless they take themselves super seriously

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      On top of that I love the episode when they're going over their budget/debt and they discuss how much money Hal spent on that stupid suit and the sequin outfit he bought that he wore once while teaching malcolm how to skate. Hal was pure kino

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      love how guttenberg has a cameltoe

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    only watched an episode here and there when it aired on tv when I was a kid and Im sure that I almost seen all of em
    good show when you accidentally put the tv on but I cant imagine myself searching and watching this on my own, it lacks something but its perfect as company when you do something else

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >the almonds arent even pointing towards waduz!

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This based b***h

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This racist b***h

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Why did you repeat yourself?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >it sounds like the songs they would sing when the soldiers would ride through the village and throw the babies in to the fire
      >they sang jingle bells?
      >they sang something

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She was only in 13 episodes. Really shows how great of a character she was.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        cynthia was only in 4

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It's weird that the non-Stevie Krelboynes basically disappear at one point and Malcolm and Reese start getting more storylines about being friendless losers.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >How many sides on a stop sign? Eight! That's just a little too close to the number of Supreme Court Justices for this citizen.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I love that Hal uses a character from a Steely Dan song thats an anti government LSD dealer for his call sign.
      It just adds a little spice to the stuff he's spewing.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >anti government LSD dealer
        That's not how that worked. There was only the government dealing LSD.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Maybe IRL. But in the song Kid Charlemagne is described as an outlaw who went on the run after the fall of the San Fran psychedelic culture.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why wasn't he attracted to her? I think she was cute. Not smoking hot like the blonde klutz but still, there was no need for any internal debate.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      His ego couldn't take being picked for being "nice" as opposed to "Alpha".

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I literally came buckets to her in that other show she was on with the hot mom. Grounded for Life I think.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah she had sum big ass

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He was a shallow, bitter manlet with both a superiority complex and hangups about his lack of long time success with the ladies and lack of social life in general.

      When people have that warped type of sense of themselves they always try to get a partner to show off with to finally prove to the people around them (and maybe, more importantly themselves) that they are worth something.

      Going for a plain looking girl would destroy all the delusions of grandeur, even if they could be happy and have a loving relationship.

      He's from the same mold as Elliot Rodger, if you think about it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >enter thread
        >anon posts about me
        Fricked up.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This post is making me reflect on my bitter life.
        Well said.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why would you post this? i came here to laugh anon, not reflect on my life

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Oh boy Malcolm in the middle! Haha I remember that show, let's see what funny scenes Cinemaphile liked...

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        thanks anon I needed this and not let it ruin everything in my relationship

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Okay you convinced me. How do I fix this? Do I just accept that I am piece of shit that never deserved anythimg despite trying way harder than anyone I know?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I did not write that post to call out other people but just to describe that behavioral pattern we saw in that episode.

          But since it seems to have resonated with many posters, here are my two cents:
          You should divorce yourself from the idea, that only the best is good enough and worth pursuing.
          A loving relationship with a girl that does not 100% fit your idea of attractiveness is much better than constantly chasing after women who look like top models and being alone in the end.

          You should also examine where that black and white thinking comes from.
          Judging by your post you believe you deserve things that seem to be out of reach and the only alternative in your mind is that you deserve nothing and should stop expecting any good things to happen to you altogether.
          Wouldn't just lowering your expectations a bit be a more sensible thing to try as a first step?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Or maybe he just wasn't attracted to her? You wouldn't go on the same tirade on a girl for rejecting a plain / kind of ugly guy, would you?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Who went on a tirade?
          I answered the other poster's question.

          But to answer your (loaded) question:
          I don't believe sex has anything to do with it.
          It's a common state of mind for both men and women alike, that anything less than perfection is not good enough for them.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It's normal to have standards especially since our society is still monogamic so you're most likely gonna spend most of your life with the person you choose, if you take the relationship seriously

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              And there is nothing wrong with having standards.
              Just sometimes those standards are too high and preclude people from getting into any relationship at all or lead to people getting into relationships with people who are superficially meeting those standards but with whom they are not compatible with on other levels that matter more in the long run than just looks or status.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >his lack of long time success with the ladies and lack of social life in general.

        I remember a girl literally jumping on Malcolm in one episode and the two of them having sex in front of her father, stop projecting lol, he was never unsuccessful with the ladies, he's not a chad but he's still quite attractive and got several of them rather easily

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        homie she ain't plain, she's legit ugly.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Making him such a chad with the ladies but then also a supposed highschool loser never made any sense. It made him come off as so arrogant, and not in a funny "he's saying what we're thinking" kind of way.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >childs sitcom is too smart for anon

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Is that becka from the online gamer?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Dunno. I only know her from Malcolm and Grounded for Life

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She's disgusting and morons with low standards like you are the reason why the dating market is as shit as it is now, kys, for the good of the human race.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    BREAK ME

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Kek
      Probably the best Dooey bit, and it came in season 1

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >that episode where malcolm brings home a hottie and later you can see her in the background make out with a fat dude

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I love bad boys tee hee

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      seriously what the frick, shes like 14 and the guy is 20

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        tarantino was right about hebes

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I rewatch the bombshelter episode monthly

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This gag always gets me just for how cartoonish and simple it is.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's Francis hahaha also I rip Hals credit card

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >cartoonish and simple it is.
      The word you are looking for is Fun. It's Fun.

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Hal>Francis>Dewey>israeli girl with the breasts>Malcolm>Reese>>>>>Lois

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He can’t keep getting away with it!!

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Someone has a webm.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This based b***h

      >the episode when they meet eachother

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        these were truly the golden years of race relations in america

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          same with Psych, when white people and black people can joke about how different they were without setting off Twitter
          >If I was a dad I'd let Shaun date my daughter
          >assuming he was mostly black

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Black and Tan being their model names will always make me laugh.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >If I was a dad I'd let Shaun date my daughter
            >assuming he was mostly black
            lmao, you could NOT get away with that today

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    watching this show is one of the few things that i dont regret wasting time on as a kid

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >I haven't shown up for work on a Friday in fifteen years
    Pure kino

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How do I achieve this power?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You already have it, all you need to do is not show up

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          But how do I avoid getting fired?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Raise a hyper autist son to get you out of any situation

            [...]
            what was he doing instead? i forgot

            Just goofing off, I remember he at least went go karting and to a haunted house

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How do I achieve this power?

      what was he doing instead? i forgot

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Whatever the frick he wanted.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How do I achieve this power?

      >mfw I work from home on fridays
      >mfw I’m literaly Hal
      Feels amazing bros

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Hal is certified KINO

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Its a Hal episode

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      is he pissing

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The one where the mom puts on cleaning gloves and jacks each and every one of the kids off to completion on her face while telling them to do better in life.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    They showed Malcolm's bits? That's CP.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?!

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >No one knows just what I've been through.
    >I can't stop the pain inside me.
    >Now I'm staring out my window.
    >Children play. They seem so happy.
    >Why are we here going nowhere?
    >Why does my life feel so empty?
    Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me, its this

    https://www.tmz.com/watch/0-spgpj6mf/

    He really portrayed being a fearful sad man so well. Can't believe he died shortly after this amazing performance.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >eyepatch
      deepest lore

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The Military Academy performance of Candyman is flawless, but my favorite bit (and B plot) will always be the Gentleman Callers doing Charlie on the MTA.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically the best rendition of Charlie on the MTA. A shame they never recorded the full song.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Even though I hate Lois, the scene where they fight the clowns is kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Whichever writer came up with "Wide Ride" deserved a huge bonus

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That scene always makes me tear up imagining me and my brothers doing the same
      Lois is such a milf

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I loved the contrast between Francis then-current African gf dropping him when he goes off to get revenge for his family and Piama sticking around when he does the same thing at the reunion at the house of Hals parents. It's the little things.

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For comedy, it's the scene where Malcolm sees his girlfriend take her sweater off for the first time and panics.

    For drama, it's Hal convincing Lois to accept just the possibility that she may have been wrong about the parking lot incident.

    For stunts/camera work/effects, it's the Yonshakudama firecracker gag.

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i like the storyline about the mail order bride

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The traffic jam episode where Malcom meets the love of his life but forgets to get her number

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >canadian
      Nothing of value was lost

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DID YOU MAKE ME REMEMBER

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      oh no, he got her number.

      Then a dog Lois had released from a car earlier snatched it out of his hand as they drove off

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    this website is aids but it works

    https://watchmalcolminthemiddle.com/

    my fav episode is where deweys moron class escapes

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I would suggest using Opera with the built in ad blocker for this website if you're mobile
      I agree, holy shit the popups

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thanks bro, I was in the mood for a rewatch so this will come in handy

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Francis and Otto dancing for Gretchen is up there

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Francis Arcs

    Ranch>Academy>Alaska>Vanilla family>last season

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't have the webm, but when Hal becomes a feeder and spikes Lois' food with extra calories so that she will become bigger is one of the best episodes of the entire show, I'm surprised it hasn't been posted yet.

      >last season Francis
      What the frick were they writers smoking when they decided to do that to his character
      >Francis' entire arc throughout the show focuses on him gradually going from a problem child high schooler to a responsible man by the time he shows up at the ranch
      >The last season just completely fricking throws that out the window and has him become a deadbeat wigger victim
      I swear to god somebody on the writer team must have had it out for the actor or something

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >What the frick were they writers smoking when they decided to do that to his character
        They had to cut the ranch arc because the actor playing Otto was dying of cancer or something like that.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        the last season in general was a fricking mess and they ran out of ideas for everybody

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Ranch was kino

      I don't have the webm, but when Hal becomes a feeder and spikes Lois' food with extra calories so that she will become bigger is one of the best episodes of the entire show, I'm surprised it hasn't been posted yet.

      >last season Francis
      What the frick were they writers smoking when they decided to do that to his character
      >Francis' entire arc throughout the show focuses on him gradually going from a problem child high schooler to a responsible man by the time he shows up at the ranch
      >The last season just completely fricking throws that out the window and has him become a deadbeat wigger victim
      I swear to god somebody on the writer team must have had it out for the actor or something

      I thought at the finale it turned he had a normal office job like Hal and just pretended to be a deadbeat to piss off Lois

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He does at the end of the series, but for the majority of season 8 he's a borderline homeless alcoholic

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Malcolm only has 7 seasons

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Season 7*
            Sorry, I got forgot that 7 was the final one

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Phenomenal joke

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This is what I was talking about.

        For comedy, it's the scene where Malcolm sees his girlfriend take her sweater off for the first time and panics.

        For drama, it's Hal convincing Lois to accept just the possibility that she may have been wrong about the parking lot incident.

        For stunts/camera work/effects, it's the Yonshakudama firecracker gag.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That's such a cool shot and idea.

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The producers raped Dewey.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      BRIAN CRANSTON NEVER LAID A HAND ON THE BOY

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Do people only think this because of that one reddit post a while back, or is there any actual evidence?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        lol, I feel like it's probably about 80% astroturfing by the same Nickelodeon defense squad that comes out vocally and violently anytime someone repeats the actual allegations against Dan that were backed up with many witnesses, accusers, and even a couple settlements

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That's literally all there is to it.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    one of the most kino moments in the show

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    rewatched all of it like two months ago
    there was one specific episode that stood out as being really strange like the writer was a weirdo but i can't remember which one rn

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Was it the feeder episode?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        yes! what the frick was up with that?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Honestly, it was probably some writer inserting his gainer fetish into the show, but I'm kind of glad that he did because it's one of the funniest episodes imo

          >What the frick were they writers smoking when they decided to do that to his character
          They had to cut the ranch arc because the actor playing Otto was dying of cancer or something like that.

          Oh wow that's kind of depressing, I wish they could have given Francis a more satisfying ending though, like having Otto and his wife move away and having him be the owner of the ranch along with his wife

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >My belly's full of bacon

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      My body's meant for shakin'

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That redpilled episode where Lois is pregnant and starts fantasizing what it would be like if she had all daughters instead, the ultimate and final redpill you could say

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >yo yo yo
      >welcome to da hood
      >getting all jiggly with it
      >REPRESE'IN

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    you now realize/remember that Astronema was the boys' babysitter

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I never liked how they kept Francis almost completely separate from the main family

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's an easy way for them to have an A and B plot. He had some good family moments, like when he and his brothers trashed the family reunion.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The episodes with the entire family are prime kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      same

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Alaska and military school were kino

      Rest were meh

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >favorite Malcolm bits

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      based Reece

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why didnt he just use his apron?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Reece is an idiot

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          There wasn't enough time.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Why didn't he just get Piama to take off all her clothes and use them

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why was piama so hot bros?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I was never into her as a lad, but she is quite pretty.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            you know she's hiding a bomb shell behind the trad clothes

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >enjoy tiny domineering asian babe with nice boobs on tv growing up
              >endlessly pursue them as an adult
              bros... what did she do to me?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why didnt he just use his apron?

        >MOVE THE OVEN MITTS

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That cut the act.. they can't hear you, much relevant today with that Hope she reads this dawg

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    this show give me some kind of wave of stress to remember. i didn't really watch it much but something about it very nightmarish.

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How do I make sure I don't end up like Craig?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Even Craig actually got his shit together a bit and stopped simping for the only woman that talks to him.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      whats wrong with being Craig?
      >manager of a store
      >homeowner

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You are not your job.
        You are not the clothes you wear.
        You are not the car you drive.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        how is being manager of a supermarket a positive bullet point?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Dude seemed pretty loaded. He wasted his money and geek shit, but still loaded.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            he wasn't loaded, he just had no family to take care of and his hobbies weren't crazy expensive.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It means you're not the grunt taking orders and earning less.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            store managers take orders from the district manager. everybody has a boss, except for Bilderbergers.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >How do I make sure I don't end up like Craig?

      homie i wish i could end up like Craig. Craig at least lived by himself and seemed happy with the shit he had going on. The only thing bad about his life was his job and the fact hes stuck simping for Lois.

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    These two scenes made me laugh more than I ever have at television

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >dewey just eating cake under a table
      love the little fricker

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >the hamsters have left the wheel
      Wtf how did they know?

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >for me, it's the one where dewey convinces malcom that evil spirits have infested his body, existing as a parasitic, black worm-like entity that can only be extracted via slicing into his arm with a magical dagger he found at the flea market and painfully yanking them out

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      what movie

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        malcolm in the middle is a show

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That didint happen in the show you filthy deceiver

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >rolls on by...

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  49. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Down, down, down you go, no way to stop
    >As you fall, hear me call no, no, no

  50. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The helper monkey episode.
    The "komodo 3000"
    Hal's bee shooting robot.
    Reese in the crate
    Kielbasa/block party

    Tons more I'm forgetting. Might be time to marathon soon.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >The helper monkey episode
      >you just know

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        know what?

  51. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Everyone in the school cliques up for a gang war, and the debate club uses literal morons as a human shield wall

  52. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why were the 90's so comfy? Legitimate question. It seems like everything was just chill compared to decades previous and later.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The west was relatively stable, people weren’t as obese

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Cooperate marketeers started buying into the antimarketing meme, and then lost the plot after 3 or 4 layers of post-ironic separation. What we are left with are mega-conglomerates that just go around antagonizing massive swaths of the general audience and demographics thinking that will somehow equal more money for them. But really all it's doing is turning society and the entire world into a place that's just one bad day away from disappearing up its butthole, and burning itself down out of spite

  53. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >I will OWN you

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  54. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >7 seasons
    >not a SINGLE bad episode, even the recap episodes have a plot

  55. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >That's it! Gretchen, get the gun
    >Which one? Oh of course, the Luger

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Francis on a ranch with moronic Germans was the worst narrative

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Did you black out on the Alaska arc?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Nah, it was even worse than that

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Grease cleaning
          I still have PTSD from that. All these years later.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        it was dumb, but I always envied his situation.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah same actually.
          Doesn't make it any good though.

  56. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Come on anon. I consent.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >But you've had like 3 beers at 18 years old, and I'm so drunk I'm about to throw up, it'd be wrong.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I would've spent hours creampieing her in that basement

  57. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Hal throwing a spider at Lois
    >Hal asking the boys to cover for him while Lois screams more and more in the background

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Hal comes running to the boys
      >"I need one of you to take the heat for this one"
      >"What did you do?"
      >Lois yells in the background
      >The boys start negotiating the price
      >Lois's yelling intensifies
      >the price goes up
      >Hal tries to negotiate down
      >Lois yells even more
      >The price goes up again
      >"Okay deal. I GOT HIM, HONEY!!!"
      MitM is the absolute pinnacle of family sitcoms. It was a show that truly understood the power dynamics of the typical american family, and how they both foil and support eachother at the same time

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Hal makes sure to tell Malcolm he's a good son before he drags him down to face Lois' wrath

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It wasn't meant to be a typical family at all, they're established to be pariahs by their neighbours/ everyone else. They're meant to be ridiculously dysfunctional and pathetic.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          And yet, middle America saw themselves in this fricking trainwreck of a family

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            They're not meant to be totally unrelatable
            Think of it this way, with your own family you might have 50% good memories and 50% bad memories. This family is meant to be that 50% of bad memories with like 5% of the good.

  58. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >two dads?
    >that place must be a dude’s paradise

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah same actually.
      Doesn't make it any good though.

      gays.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Reese ended up pretty sexy by the shows end

  59. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >when the kids at school ask you about this ... tell them I got under your bra

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >In Too Deep
      SOVL

  60. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Dewey's homemade piano.

  61. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Based dewey is the only character on the same level as Hal

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He's literally the only character that takes after Hal the most.

  62. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >watch it on a LE STREAMING platform
    >they censor the scene where reese honks the booba
    Why bros

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Remember, bros. It's never too late to take the physical preservation pill.
      Well, maybe in 5 years it will be too late. But you know what I mean.

      https://www.amazon.com/Malcolm-Middle-Collection-Bryan-Cranston/dp/B00E8GPPGQ/ref=asc_df_B00E8GPPGQ/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312152579167&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7679560620654895437&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9016165&hvtargid=pla-494721780238&psc=1

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Even this is dicey. Don't they change out a lot of the music in this version?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Is there any place to watch the series in its original form?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            see

            this website is aids but it works

            https://watchmalcolminthemiddle.com/

            my fav episode is where deweys moron class escapes

  63. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Post her wifes breasts.

  64. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    When Dewey and Malcolm both deafen each other and they don't hear Hal screaming for help while eating their PJ sandwiches

  65. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Reese is studying hard for his final exams
    >He flunks so badly he has to repeat his final school year
    >It turns out he was really studying which answers he would need to say to be so wrong that he would fail that badly
    If only Reese could apply himself in the right direction

  66. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >skip 30 seconds into the webm
    >the entire area is covered in blood

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      sounds kino to me. bet you jumped right back to rewatch the rest.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You know me too well anon lol

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >based skip undoer
          honestly... it is exactly what I did when I first came across the webm.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Based old man putting that feral animal in its place (the ground (hanging from a tree would also work))

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              He's been arrested for murder. He's probably going to be convicted under current NY law

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                bail was reduced - conviction not likely with the video out.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Believe me, bro, I am cheering for a Jury Nullification, but the legal system proactively takes steps to stamp out anyone who even utters such a phrase, and handholds and guides jurys away from even thinking it's possible

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                same, but I definitely understand your doubt. it is israelite york afterall.

                For me it's the episode where Reese gets shipped to China.

                >checked
                and now I'm reminded of reese being the perfect army drone. maybe they should have let him rise to a command position before killing that arc. would not be too far off from reality tbh.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                My understanding of jury nullification is basically
                >yeah what he did may or may not be against the law, but we don't think he did anything morally wrong, so he's free to go
                Is that accurate? If so it's fricking based and everyone should know about this and do this constantly. Frick the ~~*legal system*~~

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                that's why they have so many gay ways to dismiss jurors. lawyers are literally gatekeepers. back in the day I bet it was awesome.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Yes. That is basically how the legal system is supposed to work in these insane fringe cases. But again, the problem is that the institution is fricking terrified that we, the people, will figure out that they don't have any real authority over the law. So they use a combination of strong hand guiding jurys to convict, and soft hand dropping the charges before they get that far. They desperatly want to hide the fact that the american populace has the power to enforce the laws as we see fit by majority

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Man i would love to beat the shit outa that thing

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Why do Black folk feel the need to ape out in public? No other race does this

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            And they ask us why we hate Black folk. Here I don't even know. Probably something in the water makes us this way

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Probably something in the water makes us this way
              everybody says it makes for great pizza dough, but I guess that comes at a price.

  67. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me its when Hayden Panettiere gets RICED by an Asian chad.

  68. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The bats will always be a favorite. My mom and I would regularly get bats sneaking into the house, and we absolutely lost it when this episode aired

  69. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    It's so fricking weird. It always bugged the ever living frick out of me how every fricking episode had a distinctly different version of the same outro for no real reason at all. But as soon as they removed it, I fricking noticed, and it made me even more fricking mad

  70. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  71. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me it's the episode where Reese gets shipped to China.

  72. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    When they light some giant firework at ranch and it turns night into day.

  73. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    All the scenes with the monkey.

  74. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I remember being so attracted to this woman for reason I could not understand.

    The funny thing is that she's not even that conventionally attractive but there's something to her that is... hypnotizing.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, my man

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      she plays an incredibly horny fricktoy in the show wilfred

  75. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The one where they sink in the golf cart but dewey fricks it up because he's a little b***h who can't get water in his eyes. Probably because he was molested on set or something.

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