>first order somehow built a planet sized Death Star that can bend space time when firing
What the frick were they thinking?
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>first order somehow built a planet sized Death Star that can bend space time when firing
Thinking bout those beams
you bastard
I've seen beams, homie
That can travel faster than the speed of light to near-instantly hit a target anywhere in the galaxy.
After a planet somehow absorbs all the energy of a sun without destabilizing it enough to makethat sun go supernova and destroy the entire solar system including said planet.
Yeah. That made sense.
This shit's a thousand times more moronic than absolutely any sci-fi from the 70s.
You sound like a homosexual who slobbers on minority penises, no offense
Liberals are always easy to spot. They never counter-point anything, and just instead launch into personal attacks. The Disney SW movies fricking sucked. It's true. Deal with it.
Ok, that's fine, soi wars was never good, but you seem to be very attached to it. Taking a children's space lazer show that seriously is extremely homosexual and indicates a desire to slobber on Mohammad's cheesy penis. Sorry, that's just the truth.
Samegay
It's a children movie from the 70's. They didn't know these children would be still scrutinizing it 50 years later
What's it like being a moron?
>when you realise the 70s was 9 years ago
>Children are more moronic today than in the 70s
Correct
"borrowing four billion to buy star wars is costing us hundreds of millions per year, we need to rush out any old shit".
Thinking about dem billions of dollars
The fact that NOBODY at Disney realized how moronic this scene was is amazing. How does such a simple mistake make it in?
JJ LOVES scenes like this. He literally, unironically doesn't understand anything about space or phyics.
Seeing the planet destroyed from a moon isn't that bad. Having the moon have a breathable atmosphere is pretty out there though. And having kirk land within walking distance of spocks cave was really dumb. And having Scott there too was a bit of a stretch. A lot of dumb coincidences.
nah it was kino
that ice chimera thing was dope
>A lot of dumb coincidences
You see, the thing to understand about space is... it's really, really small.
>JJ LOVES scenes like this.
literal israeli space lasers
its explained in the official star wars the force awakens encyclopedia reference book
Thank the blessed nerd gods! Now my headcanon can be corrected and my autistic frustration about contradictions and plot holes soothed.
Imagine your job being to fix all the plot holes and stupid mistakes by writing bad fan fiction.
I'm fine with star wars being a fantasy so long as you don't try to justify the fantastical elements in universe
Like the whole hyperspace ramming shit. Hyperspace travel is fine just don't try to apply any real physics or other consequences and just act like it's basically teleportation and everything works
Hyperspace in star wars is insane. It's ridiculously fast. Like rose and Finn go across the entire galaxy in under an hour.
Makes you wonder why the rebels didn't call for reinforcements for the first death star attack. They could have gotten there within minutes since every xwing had its own hyperspace drive. Which makes it seem like yavin was the entire rebel fleet and all they had were 30xwings for the entire galaxy. They had plenty of time to gather a force and that's all they could muster for one of the most important battles of the time.
In the star wars trilogy arcade game with the joystick I think it says on the level loading screen that flight time from Yavin 4 to the DS was several hours. Dunno if it’s canon
>sound in space, magic powers and lazer swords are fine
>but muh relativistic physics
They're fantasy movies
There is sound in space dummy. Its not a true vacuum.
There's like 100 atoms in a cubic meter of spice. In our atmosphere there are billions upon billions of atoms in a cubic meter. The atoms in space are never going to touch one another fricking ever. There's no sound in space.
>100 atoms in a cubic meter
Sounds to me like its an issue of hearing the sound. Not that it isn't there.
They weren't thinking. There was absolutely no thought put into Disney Star Wars.
>saw nikocado ass in thumbnail
yeah I need a break from this god forsaken shit hole
I was fully expecting to see an edit a couple posts in.
I like that they proved rule of cool isn’t all that matters
It wasn't actually cool, however. It was derivative and moronic,
If you take the 9 movies as canon, it's about an evil guy named Palpatine who takes over the galactic government, rules for decades, kills billions(trillions?) and then is killed by his granddaughter.
The Skywalkers, Obi Wan and Yoda are mere sideline stories. The Death Star would be seen by history as a pathetic little attempt to something they successfully managed to do later on, like the WTC garage floor explosion.
Episodes IV - VIII are obsolete. You only need Palpi's back story and the Rise of Skywalker, the rest is moot. Thank you Disney for making my life easier.
Rogue One implies Kyle Katarn didn't steal the Death Star plans. Contradicting that means that all the movies are now non-canon
I haven't seen most of the new spin-off stuff and the old novels did fairly well with the Imperial Remnant and so on (frick the Yuuzhan Vong, but at least they tried).
But yeah for as operatic and grand-scale the first 2-3 films are, a Tatooine farmer wouldn't give a shit about the Empire taking over when the First Order just had this extra-more-powerful superweapon. Not even WW1 vs WW2, it's like there was a coup in your country, then WW2 suddenly happened, then suddenly stopped.
What a poorly constructed post haha no one has any clue what you're blathering about
Let's be real Disney's Star Wars is not really a cultural phenomenon.
George Lucas changed an entire industry.
It sort of was.
It was a masterclass in displaying how even the most fervent of moronic consumers can turn on a product
This, theres a reason when it comes to marketing stuff its still Darth Vader and Chewbacca and Han Solo ect. no kid is playing with Ray or Finn toys. My 10 year old nephew likes the prequels a lot and doesnt give a shit about any of the new ones
Its cheap one ups man ship thats frickign stupid. The Death Star was already a huge megaweapon project and it was already considered cheap to bring it back in Return of the Jedi. Making one thats way bigger, can destroy multiple planets at once and is able to do so from across the galaxy gets into bullshit mode. "Its fantasy so you have to accept ANYTHING" is a moronic argument for stories like this.
>If you take the 9 movies as canon
Why exactly would I do this?
>"What do you mean this wasn't supposed to be remake?"
>t. israeliteJew
>that can bend space time when firing
This never happened.
>inb4 some 10 hours long Youtube essay discussing physics in Star Wars
No.
Seems like they should have already won with this
when I saw that the main plot point of the first film was they they built ANOTHER death star but just bigger i knew this trilogy was going to be shite. did not bother watching the last two films, didnt even pirate them
Everything JJ has ever made has been storytelling on the 5 year old crayon drawing picture for the refrigerator level. He might be fully moronic. Amazing how far in group preference can get you.
So, what was their plan?
They wiped out part of Galaxy controlled by the Republic and were going to wipe out the Galaxy under "the Resistance". So they can continue ruling over the part they were already ruling over?
Space anus.
Somehow they found a lot of money and a metal planet.
>Somehow they found a lot of money and a metal planet.
It's Ilum, a kyber crystal planet once used by the Jedi for their sabers. The Empire mined it out for future projects, eventually taken over by the FO to convert the planet into a superweapon.
all that effort when they can fit hyperspeed engines in x-wings which would go just a much damage ala tlj girlboss manoeuvre
That's a fairly average-sized death star, I'd say?
How the FRICK did nobody realise they were doing this?
>I-it's an old empire proje-
Then why the frick did nobody go through the files marked "original superweapon, do not steal" and think to follow up on it?
The more I think about it, the more I think Leia ought to have been the twist villain.
Just imagine fighting your whole life against tyranny, only to realise you've given power to a group of abject morons who happily watch mass genocide machines get built.
Imagine thinking
>well shit, maybe dad did nothing wrong. Maybe Luke should have taken him up on the offer and 'tard wrangled the galaxy
and having a good point.
Why did no one complain about the Death Star when A New Hope came out?
>why did nobody complain about the dominant power in the galaxy faced with a then small scale rebellion constructing a space station, in the first movie which establishes the stakes
Are you stupid?
If it is such a dumb question, why don't you answer it.
>A New Hope comes out
>Has moon sized laser base
>No one says anything about it
>Sequel comes out
>Has planet sized laser base
>OMFG HOW DID THEY BUILD THAT WHAT ARE THEIR TAX POLICIES
the moon sized laser base was the result of the galactic empire's resources being poured into a superweapon project and given the 2nd death star is never even completed we are led to believe it was an enormous undertaking.
the first order laser base was somehow constructed by a splinter faction without the republic's knowledge despite presumably requiring an even greater amount of resources and manpower
that's why it's moronic
Dont bother explaining this shit to fricking morons
I note how you ignored the answer your moronic post already got
Obviously the problem is they need to another, larger, one.
>The Empire still exist
>The Rebels still exist
>Theres another Darth Vader
>hes working for another Emperor who he gets orders from through holograms
>theres another death star
>theres another Skywalker on another desert planet
>theres another yoda who tells the other Skywalker about a prophecy or something
This movie sucked so much.
what is the meaning behind making it look like an butthole?
Idk. I mentally checked out of the movie the moment they revealed that it's another Death Star (but bigger!)
>Thinking
The first order are portrayed as a total joke for the full 3 movies. They get nothing but big Ls in both battle, and the characters associated with it.
Probably because they coded them so heavily with nazis and so had no choice but to make them the biggest group of jokers they could. Kind of a big problem when you make your main villains look totally impotent.
They also are insane freaks who are constantly screaming and frothing at the mouth rather than the cold impassioned officers.
They should have used some imagination and had the New Republic face off against a totally new enemy faction, but Disney doesnt get that and thinks Star Wars is when a chosen one uses the force to stop the space nazis from using their new super weapon to blow up the galaxy.
The really stupid thing is that there was a perfectly good excuse for the existence of this thing that they just missed because they couldn't be fricked to make a second draft of the script: the weapon is ancient, was covered in a shit ton of ice, and the first order just found it. They were able to do so because, after Kylo Ren joined them, he led them to the seemingly innocuous ball of ice because he could sense the presence of Snoke on board (he was cryogentically frozen). Thus, we can have the first order both be a diminished splinter faction of the empire but still have this big frick off super weapon, AND it would provide a logical way for Snoke to suddenly be around. Though starkiller base should have been changed from firing lasers that just directly fly to the target, somehow, to opening huge portals near the target, allowing it to attack anywhere in the galaxy without having to physically appear there.
>Though starkiller base should have been changed from firing lasers that just directly fly to the target, somehow, to opening huge portals near the target,
They kind of have this in the EU with Centerpoint Station. Basically a gravity gun.
>build massive laser into a planet
>forget to install hyperspace components
>fire
>beams take 40000 years to reach the Hosnian system
>everyone escapes
That would have been embarrassing.