>Yesterday, the industry was shook when they learned that Roxxon Energy Corporation had bought out Marvel Comics!
>Their first order of business will be releasing an all-new Thor one-shot this April titled ROXXON PRESENTS: THOR #1, and they even got current IMMORTAL THOR scribe Al Ewing and superstar Marvel artist Greg Land to create it! The one-shot will introduce the all-new ROXXIN’ THOR! Whenever saving the Earth is taken too far, the Roxxin' Thor will be there to defend big business and the sanctity of shareholder value!
>This strange turn of events should come as no surprise to those who have been reading Ewing’s IMMORTAL THOR run. Recent issues have shown Roxxon CEO Dario Agger, a.k.a. the Minotaur, orchestrate a bold plan to bring Thor down by warping the public’s perception of him. And how better to do that than by owning the rights to his hit 616 comic book series and showing the world what a buffoon he is!
>It’s the Thor fans truly know and love: no thoughts, just muscles, a hammer, and zero hesitation to bring them both down on the most one-dimensional villains ever seen in a comic book—along with anyone that gets in Roxxon’s way!
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>Here’s what Ewing was forced to say about this shocking development: "Roxxon's hostile takeover of Marvel Comics is t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶u̶s̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶d̶e̶c̶a̶d̶e̶s̶ just what comic books needed! I was h̶o̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ jazzed beyond words when I saw how the so-called Roxxon Entertainment Standards Committee had g̶u̶t̶t̶e̶d̶ improved my work, methodically stripping away every iota of p̶o̶e̶t̶r̶y̶,̶ ̶s̶y̶m̶b̶o̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶t̶a̶p̶h̶o̶r̶ junk no one cares about. The result is a comic that can best be described as a̶n̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶u̶n̶f̶o̶r̶g̶i̶v̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶v̶i̶o̶l̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶d̶i̶u̶m̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ a rollicking good time for the whole family! M̶a̶y̶ ̶G̶o̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶R̶o̶x̶x̶o̶n̶,̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶I̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶h̶a̶l̶l̶!̶ Make Mine Roxxon!"
>Over in IMMORTAL THOR #9, Ewing will continue his work with artist Ibraim Roberson as they bring in THE ENCHANTRESS! The Son of Odin goes to the corporate headquarters of Roxxon—to make war for the sake of the Earth herself. But his enemies are waiting to steal from him the one thing that was Thor's alone... and they have crafted the foulest of weapons to do it. This is the story of THE IMMORTAL THOR... and of the trap he cannot escape. And if you didn’t follow any of that, just check out the glorious cover by Alex Ross now!
jej
his name is Chad LMAOOOOOOOOOO
This Reeks of Roxxon copying Vought American in The Boys and Chad is going full Homelander
Ewing is just not as smart as he thinks he is.
Sounds like a version of Thor a certain portion of Cinemaphile would support lmao, god bless Ewing
b***h WTF DON'T DO THAT
>Meanwhile, in the OFFICIAL Thor title presented by Roxxon, meet the Roxxin’ Thor! In his secret identity as A.I. spokesguru Chad Hammer, the son of Odin knows Mama Gaea is a TOP PRIORITY for heroes AND for business! But when a group of insane environmental activists take "saving the Earth" TOO FAR, it's time to show them the wisdom on both sides—as Thor! But which God of Evil is prompting the kids to rebel? Could it be...LOKI, GOD OF EVIL??? Featuring an all-star cast of heroes! MINOTAUR! EXECUTIONER! ENCHANTRESS! And the THOR-TRUCK! This is the story of THE ROXXIN' THOR... and it's a VITAL part of the "ABSOLUTE ABSOLUTION" MEGA-EVENT!
>Check out the covers for May’s installments of both IMMORTAL THOR and the earth-shattering, monumental book you’ve really been waiting for: ROXXON PRESENTS: THOR #1! Preorder both—especially Roxxon’s—at your local comic shop today!
SOURCE: https://www.marvel.com/articles/comics/roxxon-presents-thor-al-ewing-greg-land
Frick you Dario I did not ask for this shit
Of course you didn't ask for it because Roxxon knows you better than you know yourself!
>A.I Spokesguru Chad Hammer
KEK
God bless you Al Ewing
>A.I. spokesguru Chad Hammer
>Thor-Truck
Lel this already sounds better than the Roxxon stuff from Immortal Hulk, if not as good as Xemnu was.
>Ewing taking the piss out of the "Supervillain is right but but we have them do evil shit to justify the status quo" cliche.
kek
>It’s the Thor fans truly know and love: no thoughts, just muscles, a hammer, and zero hesitation to bring them both down on the most one-dimensional villains ever seen in a comic book—along with anyone that gets in Roxxon’s way!
>Dude if you like classic comics, you only care about one dimensional characters
Does Ewing ever stop sucking his own wiener
he;s a self admitted troony. what do you think?
Stop anon. Disagree if you must but I sincerely feel these people hate the characters and readers even more than they hate themselves. The sneering contempt isn’t even being hidden anymore.
I genuinely hate the people writing these characters nowadays. I mean for a decade or so it’s been the same but it’s worse than ever. Their contempt for the readers is only rivaled by their contempt for the characters.
I mean it when I say if they all killed themselves the world would be a much MUCH better place.
>thinking that Ewing actually hates Thor
Shut up shill. You add nothing to the world. Ewing loves nothing but the smell of his own farts.
>You add nothing to the world.
A phrase that will never be taken seriously when you're on a nepali spelunking forum
cope
Yet you just HAD to dignify it with a response. Who are you trying to convince?
were there any marvel solicits for april? it's fourth week ffs
Anybody knows why the Marvel Solicitations for April 2024 is taking so long?
Most likely because Marvel is low on ideas I am half expecting to see Roxxon Spider-Man in the them where they do drop.
There must be something going on behind the scenes, they always release the Spider-Man advance previews just before releasing the full batch, and no news for now
I am telling you bro Greg land we rewirte history brace yourself for Roxxon Spider-Man.
My guess?, there must be something related with the return of the Green Goblin.
That's my guess too. That's why they haven't announced anything ASM-related
Could it be that harry will soon be back?
How is he going to return? Didn't the Kindred's stuff freed his soul from Mephisto?
how about this when Wanda rewrote reality in House of M i it also somehow altered the White Hot Room/ place between life and death so it became the station for humans and mutants. So let's say after doctor stange freed harry's soul it went to the place between life and death wanda then rescues him along with gwen oh and it turns out the OG captain marvel was there so he gets rescued. Wanfa does all this to make amends for fricking up reality and White Hot Room.
I think they're coming out at 1pm PST today
So 1 more hour
I hope it's true.
Thanks, pal.
>Ewing
>Land
Garbage meets garbage. You know where that shit goes? In the garbage.
>superstar Marvel artist Greg Land
This is the second time I think a writer has done a sneak diss on Land by implying his art is shallow and shitty.
I remember when he was doing Iron Man , Gillen described the art as "Tonyvision" basically implying he sees the world as airbrushed pornstars
And now we have an evil megacorp saying his art is perfect for a character named Chad Hammer
This is basically the same shit as Aaron heroes reborn
Marvel Solicitations for April 2024 are here
https://aiptcomics.com/2024/01/25/full-april-2024-marvel-comics-solicitations/