im 29 and never had a job before. live with my 70 year old mom. I drove for doordash for like 2 months before the pandemic. And then I got the unemployment money from the government when covid happened. Gave me more money than I knew to do with. I still have almost 3 grand left from that. Not sure what ill do when I run out, driving for doordash was lame as frick. Dont want to work for anyone. Ill probably just off myself when my mom dies.
How will working 9 to 5 at a desk job or some shitty mcdonalds every day help him see the world or feel any sense of worth? I've always been a wagie and I don't see myself making it past 25.
>anywhere else in the world has proper public transportation
that is not true though, and how do you transport heavy objects or your dates
Are you telling me you load them on a bus or somesuch
im europoor and no normal woman will date someone without a driving loisense and have to take a 50 bux cab or even worse a Black person fillled train late at night, it's just a larp
It is based on the Gray Man book series from author Mark Greaney that started some 10+ years ago. It is very successful and well received.
The main character, Court Gentry, is an ex-CIA covert ops guy who does freelance assassinations, hostage rescues, and personal justice stuff while being hunted by he ex employer the CIA and other intelligence agencies.
old guy looks back on his career as a mailman and imagines different alternative paths he could have chosen. they jutxapose the current setting with the alternate scenarios using a more washed out, monochrome palette - which I guess is the gimmick for this movie and ties into the name aside from him literally just being an old gray man. looks kinda normie to me but idk... maybe it will be good.
Why have I not seen any mention of this on Cinemaphile? Even if it's supposed to suck I'd at least expect there to be threads about it. I didn't hear about it at all until a commercial on a cable channel in my hotel room.
The review embargo drops tomorrow so we'll have a better idea then, but most of the reactions I've seen say it's dogshit. It was directed by the Russo bros, they got their teeth knocked back when they tried to do an artistic film (Cherry) so they're trying to do blockbusters again, but they don't realise no one ever liked them they just liked capeshit.
The trailer is airing on TV now. Laughable CGI and violence porn just like every other action movie of this era, with few exceptions. Reminded me of that Will Smith movie Gemini Man with preposterous CGI stunts that no one saw.
oh look, the plot of the barbie movie is a female standup comedy routine that never made it past open mic nights from the 90s. >YA NOE HOW ITS ALL BARBIE'S STUFF?? KEN AIN'T GAWT NUFFIN!
They filmed this at venice beach without shutting anything down. The background of every scene is going to be filled with real life homeless people and VB trash.
I already bleached my hair platinum blond. Some guy at the street started to sing Billy Idol's song really loud to me, which i found awesome because who the frick even remember Billy Idol this day and age?
I live in the Barbie(tm) Dreamhouse Playset (3.75-ft) Pink/White Variant in a girls bedroom on the 2th floor. My name is Ken. I’m 'like new, minimal wear'. There is an idea of a Ken. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. I am a doll. A toy. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel plastic gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I am simply am not there.
>My name is Ken. I'm 41 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, in a colour-coordinated outfit, in an overpriced playhouse. In the morning, if my plastic is a little matt, I'll put on some vaseline while brushing my hair. I can style a perm now. >After I remove the vaseline, I use a micro-fibre cloth. On my jacket, I use a honey-scented mattel soap cleanser. Then a mini-ironing board heated to exactly 160 degrees fahrenheit. And on my jeans, a combination of soda crystals and persil washing up powder. Then I apply a mint-scented wood polish to my face, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. >I always use a misted soap spray with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dissolves the paint in my plastic and ruins the quality. Then nail-polish, then an oil-based pain touch up, followed by a final spray of wd-40.
I have different Goose Personas depending on who I'm interacting with (I call them Gooseonas). >TFW I use my Blade Runner personality at work instead of Nice Guys personality
hate when I screw up like that
bruh, ken has always been a "loser." he doesn't have anything of his own in "barbie world." barbie is the one with all the houses, cars, boats, careers, etc.
this is shit female comedians have been "joking" about for decades.
I knew the goose wouldn’t let us down bros
yes
YES
i was worried for a second but now he's literally me
Where do you guys live then? How do you provide for yourself?
Mom provides for me.
i dont have a stable job but sometimes i get part time work as a driver or carpenter to survive for few weeks
and after that you just go back to not-surviving?
if i really have nothing left then i visit my mum
she's more than happy to lend me some money but i feel ashamed
>visit my mum
>she's more than happy to lend me some money but i feel ashamed
Get a job
>Get a job
never, frick that shit
I live with my parents
Black person gibs or exploiting family.
I drive
Live with my dad while I'm in college. In exchange I help around the house
im 29 and never had a job before. live with my 70 year old mom. I drove for doordash for like 2 months before the pandemic. And then I got the unemployment money from the government when covid happened. Gave me more money than I knew to do with. I still have almost 3 grand left from that. Not sure what ill do when I run out, driving for doordash was lame as frick. Dont want to work for anyone. Ill probably just off myself when my mom dies.
>gifted a chance at seeing and experiencing the world and everything in it
>waste it being a doomer neet for 30 years instead
You should at least travel as much as possible before you go. Consider it an obligation for being born into this world before you can rest.
How will working 9 to 5 at a desk job or some shitty mcdonalds every day help him see the world or feel any sense of worth? I've always been a wagie and I don't see myself making it past 25.
you imbecile, the mcdonalds jobs are supposed to be just a start, you're not supposed to stay in there forever
Apply yourself, develope a marketable skillset and grow professionally
jesus christ, what happened with perspective with you people ?
might as well try out porn if you really don't care. you'll at least be getting paid to get your dick sucked.
parents
Very carefully
Well he’s got a girlfriend and you guys don’t so…
In the plot he literally just follows Barbie because he has no other purpose without her. She's not his gf and he becomes a MGTOW incel.
>no gf
litteraly me
barbie dolls are cheap as fck anon
Holy shit he's literally me.
>no money
Literally me
>no job
Literally me
>no house
Literally me
>no car
Literally me
Goosesteppin
>no car
frick it was almost literally me
how do u have not a car, how do u function
car is an American thing, anywhere else in the world has proper public transportation
>anywhere else in the world has proper public transportation
that is not true though, and how do you transport heavy objects or your dates
Are you telling me you load them on a bus or somesuch
it's called a cab
Europeans live with their parents in their late 30’s, take their dates on dirty train cars, and pay 50% income taxes like it’s normal
Don’t listen to them
im europoor and no normal woman will date someone without a driving loisense and have to take a 50 bux cab or even worse a Black person fillled train late at night, it's just a larp
no dates
THAT'S MIDNIGHT COWBOY
Literally me
Wow he’s literally me
I’m literally Ken…
>no car
Drivebros...
It’s the prequel to drive
wrong
it's the sequel after he gave up his life of driving to start over again
Easy fix
Ok Ken is literally me.
>TFW HAVE MONEY , JOB , A HOUSE AND A CAR
IT'S NOT FAIR GOOSEBROS, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LITERALLY HIM
Goose does it for us.
Reminder you guys need to download the monochrome man personality first before go full ken.
>netflix
goosebros, I don't think I can do this one
Children that were disabled or African-American
Now why did you laugh at that?
is this real?? Poster looks nice
What's it about?
Bulgarian ladybois getting pleasured by the Gooseman
It is based on the Gray Man book series from author Mark Greaney that started some 10+ years ago. It is very successful and well received.
The main character, Court Gentry, is an ex-CIA covert ops guy who does freelance assassinations, hostage rescues, and personal justice stuff while being hunted by he ex employer the CIA and other intelligence agencies.
The 11 books are fantastic so far.
Sounds lovely. Thank you for the summary and context anon.
A pile of Russo brothers shit.
old guy looks back on his career as a mailman and imagines different alternative paths he could have chosen. they jutxapose the current setting with the alternate scenarios using a more washed out, monochrome palette - which I guess is the gimmick for this movie and ties into the name aside from him literally just being an old gray man. looks kinda normie to me but idk... maybe it will be good.
>great cast
>russo brothers
dropped
Why have I not seen any mention of this on Cinemaphile? Even if it's supposed to suck I'd at least expect there to be threads about it. I didn't hear about it at all until a commercial on a cable channel in my hotel room.
The review embargo drops tomorrow so we'll have a better idea then, but most of the reactions I've seen say it's dogshit. It was directed by the Russo bros, they got their teeth knocked back when they tried to do an artistic film (Cherry) so they're trying to do blockbusters again, but they don't realise no one ever liked them they just liked capeshit.
The trailer is airing on TV now. Laughable CGI and violence porn just like every other action movie of this era, with few exceptions. Reminded me of that Will Smith movie Gemini Man with preposterous CGI stunts that no one saw.
>russo brothers
>chris evans
> Netflix original
Hate to say it. But I don't think goose can save this one
My wife divorced me and I lost my house. All I have left is my car.
YOUR WIFE IS PROBABLY FRICKING A BLACK MAN AS WE SPEAK
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU BRO
BUT YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND KEEP ROLLING
Even worse. An Argentinian
Yeah (2011)
it is ok anon, not everyone can be born a superior god like us argentines
Mutts law is really creepy
>All I have left is my car.
So you...Drive (2011)?
Ken? I thought this was for his Malcolm X biopic?
>No job, no car, no house. This guy's a doll.
TRUST THE PLAN
I'm surprised he didn't say "no dick", are the Kens and Barbies anatomically correct?
Ken dolls have what appears like a skin colored whitey tighties, because the doll moves at the wait and hips. No dick, slight buttcrack.c
Literally me
I never doubted him, bros. I knew he's still literally us.
>tfw the Goose is the only person who doesn't let you down
in Goose we trust
Finally, someone I can relate to!
wtf he's LITERALLY me. he can't be anyone but me
>no house, car or job, just works on being Cinemaphile
He is literally literally me
Sounds kino.
Goose-doubters on suicide watch rn
oh look, the plot of the barbie movie is a female standup comedy routine that never made it past open mic nights from the 90s.
>YA NOE HOW ITS ALL BARBIE'S STUFF?? KEN AIN'T GAWT NUFFIN!
I guess I've been going through some stuff for 26 years.
What was the shittiest movie goose starred in? It seems like he can't stop being literally me in whatever role he plays.
He didn't star in it but remember when he tried to pivot to directing and he made some inscrutable load of nonsense that got roundly panned?
Lost River
It did so bad Warner Bros dumped it to three theaters in the US.
Film looks great though
>LOOK AT MY MUSCLES
great just what we needed
a new personality which an army of incel will now copy
get ready for incels to dress up as Ken
he clearly acts like a soiboy though. which most of them already do.
I can't wait.
>mired by muzzies
He's literally me
I think Margot Robbie is wearing nylons, so it's already kino in my book
They filmed this at venice beach without shutting anything down. The background of every scene is going to be filled with real life homeless people and VB trash.
You simply cannot get more kino than that
I already bleached my hair platinum blond. Some guy at the street started to sing Billy Idol's song really loud to me, which i found awesome because who the frick even remember Billy Idol this day and age?
>who the frick even remember Billy Idol this day and age?
I do:
>remix
homosexual
I don't like the single version that it's on youtube because it has crowd voices in it, and the eurobeat remix was the second link.
He sang this one to e:
I think he might be calling into my masculinity, now thinking about it.
I searched "Rebel Yell" on youtube, not "Billy Idol".
>I think he might be calling into my masculinity
I don't know what that means.
Calling into *question* my masculinity. Fix'd.
Ah, you're a homosexual. Got it.
They and the girl recording are friends who were there to support her modelling friend.
because that's the superior song, most likely. if you slick it back maybe you can get him to yell some wesker lines at you.
Holy frick I wanna see them WITHOUT CLOTHES ON HNNNNNGGGGGG
why is the midget bug woman touching the tall alien woman's belly
Jealousy
>there's a troon in the cast
Not even pirating it.
>I …broke
>when mattel repo's your malibu jeep and mansion
Ke(n)k
I live in the Barbie(tm) Dreamhouse Playset (3.75-ft) Pink/White Variant in a girls bedroom on the 2th floor. My name is Ken. I’m 'like new, minimal wear'. There is an idea of a Ken. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. I am a doll. A toy. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel plastic gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I am simply am not there.
>My name is Ken. I'm 41 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, in a colour-coordinated outfit, in an overpriced playhouse. In the morning, if my plastic is a little matt, I'll put on some vaseline while brushing my hair. I can style a perm now.
>After I remove the vaseline, I use a micro-fibre cloth. On my jacket, I use a honey-scented mattel soap cleanser. Then a mini-ironing board heated to exactly 160 degrees fahrenheit. And on my jeans, a combination of soda crystals and persil washing up powder. Then I apply a mint-scented wood polish to my face, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.
>I always use a misted soap spray with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dissolves the paint in my plastic and ruins the quality. Then nail-polish, then an oil-based pain touch up, followed by a final spray of wd-40.
>Why yes, I am homeless and have no money, how could you tell?
pristine calvin klein underwear is always part of any self respecting hobo's wardrobe
Explains why he's dressed like a john
White men are the worst, right, Greta Gerwig?
woah he just like me fr
GOOSE BROS
IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT
wich personality are you?
for me, i am the bladerunner one
I have different Goose Personas depending on who I'm interacting with (I call them Gooseonas).
>TFW I use my Blade Runner personality at work instead of Nice Guys personality
hate when I screw up like that
why not use the bladerunner persona at work? he is litteraly a work drone, i bet your boss would like that
Finally, a Gosling personality I can realistically achieve
wow he's literally me
HES JUST LIKE ME!
What does Barbie see in him?
puddin
I read this to the tune of the DK Rap or whatever the frick it was in Donkey Kong 64.
HE has no car
HE has no house
This goose has a funny face
REAL HUMAN BEAN
I hope this movie is actually good, I have never seen a Greta Gerwig movie so I don't know what to expect
literally me
Holy shit, he's already literally me. I just need to dye my hair and get in shape. This is going to be easy.
all "literally me" poster need to fricking leave
right. now.
What about "literally sneed" posters?
they can stay
>Gosling insisted we make Ken a loser to appeal to "his internet fans"
bruh, ken has always been a "loser." he doesn't have anything of his own in "barbie world." barbie is the one with all the houses, cars, boats, careers, etc.
this is shit female comedians have been "joking" about for decades.
literally me
AYO not cool , not cool.
Literal Talk to me Goose moment.
I been going thru some shit from homies to my b***h
I BEEN GOING THRU SOME THANGS
hes me
Punished Ken when?
already quit my job and my car's breaking down; goosemaxxing as hard as I can bros
How non-white women look at us
he living that amazing technicolor dream-life.
The goose don't miss he just can't
He's just so relatable
It’s confirmed
If Cinemaphile can only have one “literally our guy” its the Goose.
Or Baded Mel
>Ken got no money
>no job
>no house
but he got a car, right? and he still can Drive™ ... right?
>Ken MtF redemption arc incoming
K I N O
So is the "leak" from that anon even more plausible now?
That Ken is a loser incel with Mens Rights books and barbie either dumps him or he's basically a prop for barbie to look good.
Sticky this shit mods you fricking homosexuals.
WE'RE FRICKING BACK GOOSE-SISTERS!
Anyone else here
>crazy stupid love goose?
>being a wageslave
>being a carslave
Top fricking kek, I love the western world and its cope
GooseChads...we FEASTIN on some literally me kino once more
What is that Gosling film where he talks about the israelites?
The Believer. He is also a israelite in that film.
why are gosling fanboys so cringe
men jack this guy off more than women
he's just like me
He's not like me at all