>got a girlfriend after 25 years of nothing
>can finally watch movies and shows about sex and relationships without feeling soul-crushingly depressed now
Thank fricking god tbh
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is that really portman or a stunt double?
Yeah it is actually her
I don't want the thread to get removed, anon
post porthole
Twist, that was obiwan's vita
So how did you do it?
Downloaded bumble, got lucky that I made an account within hours of this girl that has a few of the same nerdy interests as me and wasn't shallow at all, and she responded to my message talking about nerdy shit lol
She's thin and has a very light brown complexion (south-east Asian but looks Iranian)
>She's thin and has a very light brown complexion (south-east Asian but looks Iranian)
if you had taken a vacation to SEA your "chronic depression" or whatever incel BS you think you had would have been fixed ages ago
Wasn't looking for casual, soulless hook-ups, especially not with prostitutes
moron
>South-east Asian but looks Iranian
So she is a hideous creature
>south-east Asian but looks Iranian
imagine simping for a fricking flip
>simping
How the frick is it simping when they're your actual girlfriend lmao?
You sound like some zoomer homosexual that doesn't even know what the dumb words they use mean.
you'll find out
>south-east Asian but looks Iranian
Oh right...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>(south-east Asian but looks Iranian)
playing life on easy mode with gamer tip/cheat book on the side, i see
What do you mean? Why is that easy mode, anon?
cause they easly fall for a 185cm, muscular and educated European guy like u, my man
Well, I'm white, educated and have some Aryan features which she loves (she's obsessed with my blue eyes) but I'm bordering on slightly chubby and have an overbite which sucks. She's definitely out of my league purely in terms of looks, but she's autistically romantic so perfect looks don't matter to her.
Also even though I'm not that tall (5'9) she's very short (5'1) so I feel like a tall chad next to her lol
good for you guys, i was bustin balls but u guys seem happy so ill leave u to it
have a good weekend lads
Do she have a sister or hot friends? Hook me up bro
Based anon
If she's from SEA, she's 100% going to romance scam you. I warned my friend, but he just resented me for a while. The he married her and divorced her a year later and she's STIIL destroying his life years later.
we really are going to make it
People think I'm some normie butthole or whatever but I was a legit incel loner for years, depressed as frick, until I lucked out a few months ago.
There is always hope, never give up lads, please.
>south-east Asian
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
literally doesn't even count kek
>south-east Asian
disgusting
oh, you're THAT guy. how many bragging posts are you going to make my man? with all the time you spend talking about her here, I'm starting to wonder if she's even real
The only hard part is getting the voice right. Once you get that though everything else just falls into place.
Just wait until she leaves your ass. You think you know what depression looks like. Turns out there's always a little more hope to lose. Hell, she doesn't even need to leave you to make your life living hell.
>tfw 29 and still nothing
I didn't mind before but seeing even a hint of romance on tv is too much for me now. What the frick do I do? That was the last bit of joy in my life
You know nothing about real depression normie
>You know nothing about real depression normie
8 psychologists and a dozen therapists disagree with you.
>I didn't mind before but seeing even a hint of romance on tv is too much for me now
For about 2 years all I watched was old Star Trek (60s to 90s) because it was so chill and comfy and made me forget my real-life problems. It's a show where basically every character is single but doesn't care.
>a show where basically every character is single but doesn't care.
because THAT'S the only way you get actual shit done
just focus on making money and/or working out
Thing is I've always been so bad socially that even though your life is in the toilet you don't have expectations that it would be any other way so you don't feel too depressed. Women are just this far off unattainable thing so why even dwell on them.
This
>tis better to have never spent your life caring about pussy. period.
Breh, why so bitter? Let the dude live his life. Are you a mega chud or something
doesn't count if she's obese and non-white
I've seen it. I saw right up her. They can never take that away from me.
Porthole?
And the tunnel
I’m happy for you, anon! Is she a nice girl? Same age as you?
Thank you anon 🙂
She's 19, I'm 25. She's super nice and wholesome and cute, into a lot of nerdy things like me, she wrote a love letter for me on the second date lol
Pathetic
>got a girlfriend after 25 years of nothing
>I'm 25.
OP is homosexual.
All fields.
She's a keeper. Put a baby in her (at some point)
>She's 19, I'm 25.
Are you me haha. I met my first gf at a pokemon pop up store in london.
how come they filmed her anus
The more pertinent question is why didn't she wax her anus knowing it was going to be filmed?
maybe she didn't know it would be filmed, or maybe she assumed that if it was it would be cut out (of the film, not her body)
didnt you know they also filmed that scene where she was naked?
I don't watch movies tbh
I literally have no will to live except to see other people suffer tbh
Wow does this actually happen? I'm a 23 year old virgin volcel (body image issues/Improover).
I'd love to finally join the human race someday and be able to enjoy media about love and sex
usually a massive dose of sheer luck is needed, but there are things you can do to game the odds, like hanging around places (either online or off) where people with similar interests congregate.
I was alone for many years then eventually met my gf on a forum about a particular niche hobby/interest we shared. Good luck.
>usually a massive dose of sheer luck is needed
OP here
This absolutely
If I had have waited another day before making a bumble account, I probably never would have met her, even though she's basically perfect for me
I'm still freaked out by the sheer luck that was involved tbh
Most incels don't get that even normies rely on good a luck a LOT.
It's a numbers game for everyone, if anything the best thing you can do is not be afraid of rejection.
Some coomer anon post the screenshot of this movie where you can basically see her butthole. Is that allowed on a blue(ball)board?
>Is that allowed
>kek
It's even a gamble if you post about an actor and question about his future movies. I got a temp ban for this. I guess the fired Twitter workers got jobs as mods here.
Reddit cucks
That one Anon is right though. I wish I died an incel instead of getting my heart broke by a roastie.
How do I get a girlfriend quick before I have a mental breakdown bros
suck my penis and i will tell you
just wait until you break up and every sex scene reminds you of every awkward sexual moment you've ever had
>caring about what women think of you
There's your problem
wha-
i bet she thinks she still hasn't seen a smalller dick
any wizards itt?
port hole
the next movie you watch needs to be 500 Days of Summer
Isn't that about breaking up lol?
please post her anus
Can I post mine instead?
Go for it, Nikocado.
I'm at work and can't switch IP, maybe later
WHY THE FRICK ARE YOU TEASING ME THEN
I'm attracted to cucks
I still can't watch teenage love movies without wanting to blow my brains out
Same, but I got over it when I realised that teenage love movies are mostly soppy bullshit full of melodrama. The older I get and realise how moronic teen love is the less I give a shit about missing it.
>make a blog post on television & film board
>gf cheats on me
>at least I still have my bros on /teevee/!
?
i hope she lurks given you have the same interests and exposes your pathetic ass
Cinemaphile is not one of her interests lmao
Exposed for trying to tell his internet friends how happy and lucky he is to be with her?
how much does your gf charge by the hour? do you get a discount for booking her for a whole day?
I'm 23 and never seen a human vegana in my whole life.
I will never know how to make a woman feel good.
I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds. Especially since I project the silent, serious type image a lot and I am starting to have a good physique.
I can only disappoint my future gf by my lack of sex and romantic experience.
A bigger risk is actually death grip, if you jerk off a lot
I'm lucky in that my gf is also a virgin like me so I'm not too worried about embarassing myself the first time - she'll probably be way too nervous to care.
You haven't made love yet? Is it not awkward just being around her?
No, a couple of days ago we made out quite a bit and I felt her up, she was really into it but she had her period that day so we didn't have sex.
She's *extremely* shy and nervous about a lot of things, so things go at a pretty slow pace for the most part.
How's her family? Sounds like you'll be putting a ring on that finger sooner than later. Or you'd be dumb to let her get away anyhow
They're very strict (they don't let her go out at night) but they're mostly just concerned with her not being distracted from her studies. I haven't met them though. If we want to do anything more intimate we just go to my house instead (my parents are very chill).
I was worried because her family is Muslim and they don't take too kindly to non-Muslim guys getting involved with their girls, but she said they're pretty secular when it comes to that, that they don't really care about other people's religion, so long as they're not a frickwit.
Keep in mind I live in one of the most ultra-liberal and progressive cities in the world (Melbourne) so even traditionally intolerant religions and cultures like Islam get watered down and mellowed a lot.
I was a virgin until I was 28 and had a lot of the same concerns, but having sex for the first time was a lot more intuitive and far less stressful than I thought it would be. As long as she knows you're a virgin (or if you at least tell her that you've been through a dry spell) then you'll probably be just fine.
>As long as she knows you're a virgin
No. NEVER EVER fricking tell her.
It's lad 101 to frick as many dumb bawds to bump your bodycount before you get into an actual relationship. No woman will tolerate a sexually inexperienced mate long term.
This dumb frick pretending he has a clue
Just make a tinder/hinge/bumble, upload okayish pics, lie about your height, pretend to be interesting instead of a malcontent homosexual.
>talk to girls
>get experience and confidence
>keep talking and ask everyone single one out for a drink/coffee
>more girls will agree than you think
>go on date
>suggest another date in the future while simultaneously suggesting you go back to her/your place
>frick her
I'm already a pretty social person, I came a long way (I used to stay inside all the time and had no friends at all).
It hurts to see everyone my age talking about sex and love while I have to pretend I am like them, too.
I'm afraid that if first contact is awkward and she expected better then it'll be over for me. (I really don't project an image of virginity which sometimes I regret)
You don't "love" someone after a few dates, do you? At least it doesn't seem to work like that here
>lie about your height
This gotta be a troll right, you can go 2 inches tops before it becomes fishy, and if you’re already short chances are she’ll be approaching you or meeting you height wise
2 inches is a lot. I'm 6'2 and don't really feel that large when I'm half a head taller than supposed 'manlets'
>I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds.
If she loves you she won't mind. You can get good at pleasing each other together with time.
worrying about being a virgin under 25 is fricking moronic and isn't even a big deal. Blowing it up into a big thing just makes you look even more desperate to potential mates.
It is. Majority of women have 5 bodies at least at this point. and if you think he's telling every girl he speaks to his is a virgin, you're an idiot
>Majority of women
are fricking prostitutes who don't do a great deal with their lives except spread their legs for scumbags until they're "ready to settle down", I know.
>and if you think he's telling every girl he speaks to his is a virgin, you're an idiot
See my newer post
>Worrying about women's body counts instead of simply seducing younger females.
I'm older than you, and at this point I honestly do not care about women. I have completly give up on women. Complaining about troons and minorities on Cinemaphile gives me all the sexual satisfaction I need.
I did the inverse of you. And I feel like I'm past the point of no return. I'll either fully become a normie, or frick myself up.
Did you manage to have intercourse with females?
>I am terrified of the day I'll make love for the first time and lose it in a few seconds.
They'll enjoy the fact that they're deflowering you way more than they'll care about how it feels.
Same but 30, haven't seen an exposed breast either.
Just go to a strip club and pay a few bucks
Doesn't count, also strippers disgust me.
As it should, strip clubs are peak cuck-culture and utter moronation.
Imagine actually paying to simp for some prostitute that a dozen other morons are simping along with you for.
Fricking normies.
It's still seeing naked women and having them rub on you. And you dont have to go for the 35yo old tatted stripper with bolton breasts, there are usually some younger girls who are just starting out who can be very sweet. Might make you actually want to put in effort to get a real girl. Or at least stop whining
you absolutely will but it'll all be in your head.
tell her you're going to cum instantly because it's been a while and she'll have no problem with it.
Nuts how some of you are 28 and virgins and I'm 28 and been fricking since I was 17
An entire decade of you never having sex and an entire decade of me having sex
Crazy how life works out that way that someone goes more or less their entire life never experiencing what the average person does experience
Some monks live to be centenarians without once touching a woman.
try 30 years of never having sex.
>their entire life never experiencing what the average person does experience
I shudder experiencing what you average chuds suffer constantly at the hands of these insufferable female creatures.
t.lvl50 Wizard
uh what movie is this
Closer (2004)
I used to have girlfriends and shit but I became depressed and adopted the neet way of life and suddenly became 31. I think it might be over for me. I only talk to Asian girls on hellotalk. It hurts.
Why are you simps still humoring the blogposter
I think my frenulum is too short and if I have sex it will tear. It's over
Nonsense
How so
get circumcised
I live in Europe. That's like becoming a gypsy
Then gelding is the only other option
how does it feel to live my dream?
Is the 25 years starting from your birth?
Yes
I'm 26 and have never been kissed. I couldn't ask a girl out if you put a gun to my head. I think some people are just meant to be alone.
31, never had gf, ironically together we are alone anon
literally me. I just dont have "it" when it comes to interaction with girls.
iktf. It's a strange one.
I don't watch any movies or TV shows with sex / relationships in them.
frick she's such a minx
goddamn nothing is better than an pleased grin during sex
>goddamn nothing is better than an pleased grin during sex
does this apply to men? I had the most intense out of this world orgasm the other night and I in voluntarily had a massive euphoric grin on my face. I'm not sure what my gf thought of it.
must be nice. lost mine after 3 years. she up and "changed her mind". all the closure i got. enjoy it while it lasts. im gonna go day drink some more cause why not
>finally get a gf after 30 years
>can't watch shit because she constantly wants my free time
I'm tired of this game.
I managed to convince my gf to watch all of TNG with me, which was a huge win lol
I got a gf and the romance movies and shows became even more insufferable to me because you realize what a bad representation they are of romance. Romance is a chore and is a lot more boring than movies suggest.
Stopped caring for the most part but sometimes the feels come back. This is why I dont watch any tv and live in my head