To any morons that live there, why? And how are you not dead yet?
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Gotham City
To any morons that live there, why? And how are you not dead yet?
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Gotham city is so unrealistic! A disgusting, filthy, oddly rich and expensive yet poverty stricken, crime ridden city where civilians live in danger every day and the police are completely incompetent. It's such nonsense, nobody would ever live in a place like this, it couldn't ever exist!
Anyway, greetings from downtown LA
>A disgusting, filthy, oddly rich and expensive yet poverty stricken, crime ridden city where civilians live in danger every day and the police are completely incompetent
So you telling me...
Detroit too.
Arkham guard here
Protips for all you newbies on the job.
Croc's cell still leads to the sewer, you don't have to clean it.
Freeze is bluffing, you can go into the holding cell and you'll be fine as long as you're dressed in winter clothes
Scarecrow, however, isn't bluffing, there's a cannister of the stuff up his ass and it activates and sprays out during cavity searches. Be careful.
You can just grab any dirty pair of female socks and say they're Harley's when you sell them. There will always be dumbasses who fall for it.Hell, we usually give the inmates who wear the socks a cut of the check to make it easier and some of the inmates we use are dudes including Riddler.
Rent is frickin dirt cheap bro
You can get a pretty roomy one bedroom apartment for like, $600, in this economy that's great.
I mean, yeah you hear police sirens all the time, and you're always seeing the Batmobile but I'll take what I got since I make good money
Bro are you living in the ghetto? Because Batman pretty much runs around in the ghettos every frickin day.
>Hur duh let's all live in Metropolis and need a bank loan from Lex Luther to afford to live in apartments owned by Lex Luther to go to work for Lex Luther before getting killed by a stupid robot or something built by Lex Luther.
Frick off gay. Rent is cheap AF in Gotham, you can get whatever you fricking want. Good luck even smoking a joint in gaytropolis without setting off your Lex Luther air monitor.
Just move to Hub City, rent is free as long as you're willing to bludgeon the current tenant to death with a piece of rebar.
Upside to living in Metropolis: sometimes you get lucky and Supergirl flies overhead with that tiny skirt.
Wouldn't live in Metropolis either. Aliens invade that place every week. If it's not white martians, it's parademons. Or some guy wrecks downtown and tosses cars into buildings for half an hour before Superman shows up.
I'm glad that super man Lex is keeping filthy Gothamites like you out of his city from stinking up his air
Try saying that without Luthor's dick in your mouth. Oh wait you can't because it would violate the terms of service of your lexnet ISP your lexplorer browser would shut down and you'd have lexcops at your house.
Lexcops at his lexhouse. Those smart homes are all lexcorp software and hardware. At least they're secure enough only lexcorp is hearing and watching you sing badly in the shower instead of randoms in the web
I just find hell gate under the city I still Don't why I live here
I work in telecom. It's good money. The Joker doesn't frick with us because then he'd lose his audience.
Why move? Greatest city in the world.
I'll die one of these days. Not even safe in the restaurant business.
Three months in as a waiter and I lost my fricking left pinky to Mr. Camera.
But the anons are right, the rent is ideal.
There's this guy called Nightwing who saved me from being mugged and he gave me the best blowjob I've ever gotten.
Because I can.
Have you guys ever noticed that if you put a space between Gotham then you've got ham?
I hate you.
Moved to Gotham from Hub City. This place is great. The streets are cleaner, there's way less crime, and despite an obvious clown problem, I've yet to see one flashing children.
>flashing children
They just walk around in in overcoat and expose themselves to people? Hub City is sick!
Which state is Gotham in again?
New Jersey?
Yes
Lived in Metropolis for a bit. Parasite ate the memory if my grandma's face. I can't remember her anymore.
Lived in Keystone, got out of the shower to see Mirror Master climbing over my sink. I think he stole my silverware.
Lived in Coast City. Mongul came to visit while I was out of town. I don't live in Coast City anymore.
At least in Gotham the rent is cheap and the super villains are more likely to just shoot you than anything.
My dude, why the frick are you going to the places with high cape numbers?
Because you live in the non-cape areas your whole town can get wiped off the map by a rouge group of aliens and know one can know for months. Remember that time that everyone in Smallville, Kansas got turned into those Man hunter things Green Lantern fights?
>To any morons that live there, why?
Low housing costs, can't afford to live in Metropolisz
>And how are you not dead yet?
I'm very good at running and hiding. Also, hench work isn't so bad if Batman's off dealing with another criminal.
Hey man you going pick up tonight?
>Yeah, meeting my connect at crime alley
Crime alley?
>Yeah
And that doesn't sound suspicious to you. Crime alley, and your not worried anything bad is going to happen.
>Think about it your going to do something shady you don't choose a place named crime alley it's too obvious
I guess that makes sense
Please don't lump me in with those bourgeois, menial day laborers living in their studio apartments above a bowling alley.
We rich elite have fabulous penthouses where we can see all, and laugh at the misfortune of others.
Daily reminder 80% of Gotham criminals never interact with the general population, they target large industries and government facilities. So as long you keep your head down and don't go looking for trouble you might only mugged 3 times in your life time
It's not so bad. Far more likely to run into goons than like, the joker or some shit. Suck their dicks, and move on. No problem
Everyone just has a side hustle as a goon, easy money really.
How else could I sell bat family ass shots?
This
I've been making bank on Batgirl, Spoiler, and Orphan butts for months
My days of serving as a goon for Twoface or The Riddler are behind me, pun intended
>Living in Gotham
>Rent is cheap as hell (Theres a chance if the biulding owner gets killed, you can take the ownership documents and have the whole biulding for youself)
>Job oportunities all over with people dyng everyday and there are free job spots avalible.
>Dangerous city ? Juts keep a low profile.
These morons seem to have good living conditions.
As it's been said, rents dirt cheap and Wayne industry's always hiring. Also you can get ridiculously good drugs here.
come live in kahndaq
its much better than any of your american shitholes
>Paying Rent
Dude, all I did was go to Gotham City Hall and buy an abandoned warehouse for like $800. It was fully furnished too with couches, a converted Bedroom office, white boards with weird question marks, book shelves, alot of green suits, even 2 working box trucks and a Van. I practically live in a mansion with tons of space, central heating and air, and across the street from Joe's Diner.
I have a friend who lives there. Great gossip from him. I'm convinced that every costumed idiot there is just some kind of sex weirdo.
Posion Ivy is an incredible pot dealer, she has whatever I want in prime quality and I pay by taking care of the plants I already have at home.
Arkham guard again, any weed or hallucinogens sold by Ivy are a 50/50 on being laced and killing you from the inside out with a plant growing from your dead body.
Why do you think we switched to selling "Harley's" socks and underwear for our medical bills?
You want some good mindfricking stuff? Hatter has these insane technodrugs (we gave up on stopping smuggling after the Scarecrow ass cannister incident) but refuses to sell
>Ivy
>letting you burn plants just to get high
I hate to break it to you but you're "buying" oregano from someone's of in cosplay for a lark
Anything happen on April Fool's with that calendar weirdo? I didn't see anything in the paper apart from GCPD shitting itself.
Cheap rent and it’s not hard to pick up places to avoid and what to eat and not eat. I used to avoid the fear gas and joker gas stuff but at this point I’ve built up a pretty good tolerance to it. The trick is to just pretend you’re laughing or scared when one of the Henchman come.
Rent is dirt cheep and health care is basically free due to wayne enterprise subsiding the shit out of it which is good considering my cousin got his arm broken by some maniac in a batsuit (told him working as a goon was a bad idea).
I just say GLARBIMACTAFIN to everyone who approaches me.
Huh?
That slogan easily lost Mayor Hamilton Hill 5% of his voters alone
Rents cheap you just have to avoid the killers and rapists
>Rent is cheap
>Killers and Rapists around every corner
No fricking wonder why. You see, this is why I think kicking Gotham out of the United States is good
But the rapists are the good the guys tho.
Yeah gothams weird man..
No, no, no. You just have to join a gang! I got in with the two face goons, and all I have to do is count the money the bigger dudes bring in!
I have to do it with a guy watching over my shoulder and a shotgun to my temple, but damn it I'm not getting raped in gotham!
There is literally a 50:50 chance Two-Face rapes or kills you on any given day
Bruce Wayne sucks and he's a gay
Oliver Queen is the GOAT
Don't believe everything you see on the mainstream news. We've still got plenty of problems, but we're doing better than we were decades ago. Supervillains and mooks are way easier to navigate around than corrupt cops and mafia types. Crime is down, employment is up (especially for ex-cons), and rent is cheap. What more could anyone want?
We're sure as hell not as bad as Hub City or Chicago.
Now that the superheroes stopped hiding the multiverse, how do we know we're the real us and not just a version of us with a gimmick and we don't actually matter?
Batman being a member of the Justice League completely fricks up the concept of Gotham City. One, Batman is seen as the most competent, or second-most competent member of the Justice League; he's been shown to best Superman, and survive Darkseid, among other things. Yet Batman cannot clean up his own town and have it looking like Metropolis. How is a guy who can drop Superman to his knees in several incarnations not able to change his city for the better? How the frick is a guy, in the fricking Justice League, not able to change around the fortunes of a city?
Most movies have happy endings where environments get changed for the better in less than a minute, how is this homie, after 80 years, still struggling with Gotham City? If he dated Wonder Woman instead of Catwoman maybe she could change his town overnight.