>give Servillia a gift >send a slave (probably Greek) who is hung like an elephant >"Large penis always goes appreciated."
We've had these threads for years and no one even comments on the fact that Atia keeps a stable of BGC slaves to use as personal sex toys. This is so normal to her that she doesn't even consider the possibility that other women wouldn't want them.
>he was black
Was he? I remembered him as a swarthy med for some reason. In any case, it is strongly implied that Atia makes slave purchases based on penis size because she requires a constant supply of enormous wiener.
That was a 4D attempt by Atia to insult Servilia. >insinuating that she was stuck up and needed to get laid >but you're also an uncultured, low brow prostitute who fricks slaves with big dick
Meanwhile, Atia plays innocent like she doesn't do these kind of things, but we know she probably would. She doesn't frick a slave, but she does frick Timon, which is probably worse. It's all a front for her fragile ego and power trip to be first lady and the image of true nobility, when behind closed doors we see her for what she really is.
>She doesn't frick a slave, but she does frick Timon, which is probably worse.
You really think she bought and paid for a horse-wienered stud just so he could work in the kitchen?
i'd happily be her slave
then one day i'd "accidentally" trip into her bath, or whatever, and i happen to motorboat her breasts
my painful death would be worth it
The most telling moment is when Anthony says something like, "life is water" and Vorenus replies "then I shall sink."
Vorenus is basically incapable of being anything other than a hard ass because it's simply who he is. I have a friend who has bad assbergers and he reminds me so much of Vorenus that it hurts. Vorenus still means well, but he can't be anything other than what he is.
He was a man of notable rank and when you’re a leader you can’t be friends with everyone. Pullo also is the reason the senate could not reconvene because he was drunk and angry and wanted a fight.
>Get mortally wounded >"Pullo, I want to see my children one last time!" >Somehow clings on to life for several weeks while they slowly sail back to Rome
this is politics my dear friend, half measures achieves nothing. Either kill them all or trust them, but you can't make brutus your enemy then let him live.
But Caesar was one of the corrupt rich oligarchs ruining the Republic. Caesar and the Marius and Sullas before him escalating political conflict into physical conflict and civil war and tearing the republic apart were infinitely more responsible for the absolute state of Rome than any given number of venal, boyfricking, ager publicus hogging senators.
if you can't explain something shortly, you don't understand it
2 years ago
Anonymous
>he doesn't get the joke
Maybe YOU are the one who doesn't understand it
2 years ago
Anonymous
ah I am but a fool, I will now insert a blade through my stomach in shame
2 years ago
Anonymous
clever joke anon too bad you were talking to a moron
2 years ago
Anonymous
Saved Rome by realizing that fighting Hannibal was stupid (after they had lost tens of thousands fo men doing so at cannae and the trebia), thereby forcing Hannibal into a war of attrition in Italy which allowed Rome time to recover.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Imagine not giving Scipio the credit for annihilating the great fighter Hannibal, waiting idly for a miracle like him is not honor worthy
cowards
For me it's Nerva, who achieved in one year what Augustus spent his entire lifetime trying to do: create a stable and competent dynasty which gave Rome a century of internal peace.
No, men like Cato and Pompey who owned massive estates of land they bought up for cheap from poor average soldiers because the soldiers were being dragged on longer and longer campaigns by the aforementioned oligarchs like Pompey and Cato and so couldn't properly maintain their farms and were forced to sell them and become wage laborers in Rome, were responsible
Caesar actually wanted to reform things and make it possible for the average citizen to own a farm again. He recognized the growing unemployment problem in the city, whereas israelites like Cato were exploiting it for cheap labor to harvest their crops at harvest time for pennies on the dollar
I mean, you are right but all of these issues arose due to the structure of the Roman state. ie citizen soldiers having their plots absorbed into latifundio, the senatorial aristocracy monopolizing the public land taken as spoils of war, dispossessed citizens dirifting into urban Rome and after the marian reforms being eligible for military service and economically dependent on their generals.
This is a complete brain fart but I remember reading about soldier colonies, like the Sulan and later Caesarian ones at Pompeii during the civil wars and it's curious to think of their taking up arms again through the prism of provincial veterans taking part in political life when they were too distant from Rome to plebian votes and contio.
The corrupt senators were instigating violence long before Caesar, Marius or Sulla. They beat Tiberius Gracchi to death on the steps of the senate.
Caesar was corrupt, but his corruption stemmed from him trying to help the common folk against greedy proto-jews. Virtually every law he enacted or wanted to enact was towards that goal. He used the senators' own methods against them
Go and frick yourself you Pompeii and The Rest of the Oligarchs Ass Kisser. Caesar wanted to save Rome and make it strong both economically and militarily.
Caesar was necessary in hindsight, but if I'd been alive at the time I would have probably remained neutral. Octavian, on the other hand, is someone I'd follow to the ends of the Earth.
Honestly bro, the oligarchs. Not because of any loyalty or honor but out of pure survival, there was no way Caesar was going to rule with out serious problems and that meant it wouldn’t last long.
I wish we can have a show with Rome's attention to detail but about 18th dynasty egypt
Imagine the kino: >ahmose's reconquest >hatshepsuts reign and trying to larp as a male >thutmose III's imperial expansion and campaigns >akhenaten's schizophrenia and plotting against the priesthood >chariot warfare >ancient egyptian cities
Its just endless....
At this point in America, either they make the Egyptians black or there will be riots. I'm honestly afraid that eventually they will change the history books just to appease the American Black.
For me, its the archaeological record starting to disprove the literary gays and showing that Nero was actually a decent Emperor who built many public works to benefit the average citizen
I wish we could just have some good sword fights in the street and live life instead of all this bullshit. I want to get killed fighting stinking gauls and enslave prostitutes so they have my children
While you (VIRGINAL """""""""PATRICIAN"""""""""" MANLETS) watch your shitty le super serious political Roman show, I (HARDWORKING HORSEwiener TALL PLEBCHAD) will be watching Plebs (2013), the closest thing to the Roman Empire/Republic we'll get
In the show, yes. In real life, probably not. He was quite puritan in his sensibilities.
Octavia IRL was widely lauded for being a very traditional and faithful Roman woman. She was happily married when Octavian was a child. Also worth noting that Octavian was largely raised by his aunt Julia rather than Attia and spent most of his child in Julia's household rather than in his mothers. Also the whole Octavia x Aggripa arc is also made up whole sale out of nothing.
>all mockery of israelites [mimics the nose], and of their one god [points finger toward she sky], shall be kept to an appropriate... minimum [lowers the palm]
>directed by a woman
How did she do it?
The answer to *all* questions regarding Rome is Milius.
and what of good Solonius?
Basado
ah, ever the joker good solonius
This show is cringe
This show is based
titus pullin' on deez noots
They don't call him TIGHTus for no reason 😉
That looks like Stewart from Madtv.
>when she gives you that look
semen demon
god she had an amazing ass
>give Servillia a gift
>send a slave (probably Greek) who is hung like an elephant
>"Large penis always goes appreciated."
We've had these threads for years and no one even comments on the fact that Atia keeps a stable of BGC slaves to use as personal sex toys. This is so normal to her that she doesn't even consider the possibility that other women wouldn't want them.
nice headcanon, homosexual
>headcanon
It was an actual scene from the show. Go watch it, it's good.
>(probably Greek)
he was black. greeks valued and breed for small penises. large penises were considered barbaric
>the virgin greek vs the priapic GAULLIC bull.
>he was black
Was he? I remembered him as a swarthy med for some reason. In any case, it is strongly implied that Atia makes slave purchases based on penis size because she requires a constant supply of enormous wiener.
That was a 4D attempt by Atia to insult Servilia.
>insinuating that she was stuck up and needed to get laid
>but you're also an uncultured, low brow prostitute who fricks slaves with big dick
Meanwhile, Atia plays innocent like she doesn't do these kind of things, but we know she probably would. She doesn't frick a slave, but she does frick Timon, which is probably worse. It's all a front for her fragile ego and power trip to be first lady and the image of true nobility, when behind closed doors we see her for what she really is.
>She doesn't frick a slave, but she does frick Timon, which is probably worse.
You really think she bought and paid for a horse-wienered stud just so he could work in the kitchen?
i'd happily be her slave
then one day i'd "accidentally" trip into her bath, or whatever, and i happen to motorboat her breasts
my painful death would be worth it
At least your torture and execution will be kino.
>when she tells you not to be a goose
Vorenus really was mean to Pullo at times.
Yes, but he also helped him when he most needed it. Thats how bros are.
The most telling moment is when Anthony says something like, "life is water" and Vorenus replies "then I shall sink."
Vorenus is basically incapable of being anything other than a hard ass because it's simply who he is. I have a friend who has bad assbergers and he reminds me so much of Vorenus that it hurts. Vorenus still means well, but he can't be anything other than what he is.
He was a man of notable rank and when you’re a leader you can’t be friends with everyone. Pullo also is the reason the senate could not reconvene because he was drunk and angry and wanted a fight.
ANTONY COULD YOU EXCERCISE TRIBUNES VETOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Just finished the 1st season, this bit was great
THIRTEEN !!!!!!!!!!!
Man are you in for a letdown
>Get mortally wounded
>"Pullo, I want to see my children one last time!"
>Somehow clings on to life for several weeks while they slowly sail back to Rome
>tfw you will never experience this level of brotherhood
Would you have sided with Caesar and follow him to Rome or would you have side with the corrupt rich oligarchs that were ruining the Republic?
Caesar obviously, but he did get pretty paranoid at the end, rightfully so though
Paranoid how? I mean, obviously not enough, right?
Had he not alienated brutus he might have lived
>forgiving one of the men in the lowest circle of Hell
Shoo shoo, israelite
this is politics my dear friend, half measures achieves nothing. Either kill them all or trust them, but you can't make brutus your enemy then let him live.
Oh, I didn't realize we were still talking about the show
Obviously Caesar. The Optimates were fricking israelites
I can't imagine not siding with Caesar.
This. He made his soldiers rich unlike Cato
>I can't imagine not siding with Caesar.
Undeniably based.
But Caesar was one of the corrupt rich oligarchs ruining the Republic. Caesar and the Marius and Sullas before him escalating political conflict into physical conflict and civil war and tearing the republic apart were infinitely more responsible for the absolute state of Rome than any given number of venal, boyfricking, ager publicus hogging senators.
at the end of the day, caesar was a good strong and capable man, more fit to run the empire.
For me it's Quintus Sertorius.
for me, it's Scipio Africanus
>getting filtered by Hannibal of all people
For me, it's Fabius Maximus.
quick rundown?
>Fabius Maximus
>quick
if you can't explain something shortly, you don't understand it
>he doesn't get the joke
Maybe YOU are the one who doesn't understand it
ah I am but a fool, I will now insert a blade through my stomach in shame
clever joke anon too bad you were talking to a moron
Saved Rome by realizing that fighting Hannibal was stupid (after they had lost tens of thousands fo men doing so at cannae and the trebia), thereby forcing Hannibal into a war of attrition in Italy which allowed Rome time to recover.
Imagine not giving Scipio the credit for annihilating the great fighter Hannibal, waiting idly for a miracle like him is not honor worthy
cowards
t. Varro.
For me it's Nerva, who achieved in one year what Augustus spent his entire lifetime trying to do: create a stable and competent dynasty which gave Rome a century of internal peace.
No, men like Cato and Pompey who owned massive estates of land they bought up for cheap from poor average soldiers because the soldiers were being dragged on longer and longer campaigns by the aforementioned oligarchs like Pompey and Cato and so couldn't properly maintain their farms and were forced to sell them and become wage laborers in Rome, were responsible
Caesar actually wanted to reform things and make it possible for the average citizen to own a farm again. He recognized the growing unemployment problem in the city, whereas israelites like Cato were exploiting it for cheap labor to harvest their crops at harvest time for pennies on the dollar
I mean, you are right but all of these issues arose due to the structure of the Roman state. ie citizen soldiers having their plots absorbed into latifundio, the senatorial aristocracy monopolizing the public land taken as spoils of war, dispossessed citizens dirifting into urban Rome and after the marian reforms being eligible for military service and economically dependent on their generals.
This is a complete brain fart but I remember reading about soldier colonies, like the Sulan and later Caesarian ones at Pompeii during the civil wars and it's curious to think of their taking up arms again through the prism of provincial veterans taking part in political life when they were too distant from Rome to plebian votes and contio.
A consequence of murdering the Cracchi and then doing nothing about why they got popular support. The Republic died because of greed.
>libtards side with pedo elites and even fall for their propganda that is 2000 years old
The corrupt senators were instigating violence long before Caesar, Marius or Sulla. They beat Tiberius Gracchi to death on the steps of the senate.
Caesar was corrupt, but his corruption stemmed from him trying to help the common folk against greedy proto-jews. Virtually every law he enacted or wanted to enact was towards that goal. He used the senators' own methods against them
Go and frick yourself you Pompeii and The Rest of the Oligarchs Ass Kisser. Caesar wanted to save Rome and make it strong both economically and militarily.
this
you made all the uneducated americans sperg out hard lol
Caesar was necessary in hindsight, but if I'd been alive at the time I would have probably remained neutral. Octavian, on the other hand, is someone I'd follow to the ends of the Earth.
Honestly bro, the oligarchs. Not because of any loyalty or honor but out of pure survival, there was no way Caesar was going to rule with out serious problems and that meant it wouldn’t last long.
always liked the bit where Antony recognises Pullo in a crowd of people trying to see him
It's probably what he would have done IRL. Terrible human being, but a great army officer.
A scene no woman could write or understand.
Make that all the interactions between Pullo and Vorenus
STAND TO FRICKING ATTENTION WHEN I'M SHITPOSTING AT (YOU)
Thats true of most of the show. Even though the women in the show are ironically given full respect.
gays like Cicero who weren't career soldiers should never have been allowed to have influence on Rome
Top kek
I wish we can have a show with Rome's attention to detail but about 18th dynasty egypt
Imagine the kino:
>ahmose's reconquest
>hatshepsuts reign and trying to larp as a male
>thutmose III's imperial expansion and campaigns
>akhenaten's schizophrenia and plotting against the priesthood
>chariot warfare
>ancient egyptian cities
Its just endless....
At this point in America, either they make the Egyptians black or there will be riots. I'm honestly afraid that eventually they will change the history books just to appease the American Black.
They dont need to make them anything, they already have a bunch of them
It was pretty funny when people were b***hing about him being cast as an Egyptian for not being dark enough but the man is literally Egyptian
take your meds
Take your hormones troony lmao
they should have kept the first actor for Octavian if you ask me
this. Never finished Season2 mostly because of this reason.
For me, it's emperor Nero
For me, its the archaeological record starting to disprove the literary gays and showing that Nero was actually a decent Emperor who built many public works to benefit the average citizen
building temples doesn't matter at all when you're fricking starving to death surrounded in garbage
My little centurion can NOT be this cute
Why did Vorenus' slaves die from sickness except the boy? Should have sold them before they died
I wish we could just have some good sword fights in the street and live life instead of all this bullshit. I want to get killed fighting stinking gauls and enslave prostitutes so they have my children
>50 posts
>18 posters
based
Would you?
>he thinks Cleopatra strength was her looks and not her character
filtered hard
>and not her Godly status among the people of the country responsible for providing Rome's grain supply
fixed
She didnt have that godly status when she first met ceasar
What she likely did have was her fabled "golden mouth"
It is known julius still kept an intimate and great affection for Cleopatra until his death
A good personality can elevate a 5 or 6 out of 10 to a 7 or 8, easily
>bpd chick
Not a fricking chance
I’d frick her whilst telling her everything she wanted to hear then immediately have her killed
frick all these gay as "good" leaders
post the absolute WORST fricking leaders and why they sucked
For me it's Elagabalus.
He was simply too based for puny latin brains to comprehend.
>He
How very transphobic. Please don't misgender the empress.
there were none
all of Rome's emperors where virtuos
For me, it's Elagabalus.
I notice there is always love for Rome and Spartacus on Cinemaphile, but I, Cladius is never mentioned.
Is it just not meme worthy enough or something?
The intro song was fricking bopping tho.
Also Sejanus a fricking shit.
Play it at 1.5 speed.
I, Claudius is mentioned in just about every Rome thread anon.
If you like I, Claudius try watching "Magnificent Century", a Turkish tv show about the ottomans.
that show is so good
mahidevran is a treacherous prostitute
they all are though, truly peak ottoman kino
It's absolutely fantastic, perfect from start to finish.
This show was everything Game of Thrones failed to be. Still holds up remarkably well too.
While you (VIRGINAL """""""""PATRICIAN"""""""""" MANLETS) watch your shitty le super serious political Roman show, I (HARDWORKING HORSEwiener TALL PLEBCHAD) will be watching Plebs (2013), the closest thing to the Roman Empire/Republic we'll get
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=3kQRKhvxh34&t=10s
Name a more kino moment
Good thread this
I do try
It put oak in my penis.
>HE WAS A GANGSTER OF NEW YORK
octavian was so based
Is this canon?
did octavian frick his sister irl? probably not.
In the show, yes. In real life, probably not. He was quite puritan in his sensibilities.
In addition to
Octavia IRL was widely lauded for being a very traditional and faithful Roman woman. She was happily married when Octavian was a child. Also worth noting that Octavian was largely raised by his aunt Julia rather than Attia and spent most of his child in Julia's household rather than in his mothers. Also the whole Octavia x Aggripa arc is also made up whole sale out of nothing.
>have autism
>mother orders you to penetrate someone
>penetrate someone
>now she is angry
Why are neurotypicals like this?
>all mockery of israelites [mimics the nose], and of their one god [points finger toward she sky], shall be kept to an appropriate... minimum [lowers the palm]
>me to my followers after I get a warning from instagram
Mars was taking a shit
>Cinemaphile pisses on me
I could have sworn he had his hair died black in some episodes.