>here's your superpower, bro

>here's your superpower, bro

Seriously, how pissed would you be? You live in a world where people can read other's thoughts, move mountains with their mind, shoot laserbeams out of their eyes, and you get...this

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    JUNTAO

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why does he yell juntao at him? His name is Sang in the movie and the British guy was Juntao

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fight like a man.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly that's what I want. My favorite Kirby is Needle Kirby.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's absolutely kino in the Forgotten Land.

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How does he wear clothes?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Only his face is a porcupine. he just doesnt wear pull over shirts.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        nah its not just his face cause he kills that science lady at the end of the movie with his killer needle hugs

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The quills are retractable

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        is he called blackhead-face when the quills retract? he must have massive pores

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          they started calling him that but eventually shortened it to just blackface

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    well clearly he's kinda insecure about it
    we all have our coping mechanisms

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is there a mutant that just has the perfect penis?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Your dad.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Your mom.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Me. It's a curse because I've been told I could be a porn star with my penis, but unfortunately the rest of my body is unappealing.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You could be the next Ramon

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          qrd?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Look up the pornstar Ramon. He's widely known because he was ugly but had a big dick so was put into everything for a long while

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >look up a male porn actor
              No, I don't think I will.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Go to Japan

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'd love to be in one of those Handjob Japan videos or the ones where like fifty girls crowd around and jack a lucky gaijin.

          Look up the pornstar Ramon. He's widely known because he was ugly but had a big dick so was put into everything for a long while

          Maybe there is hope for me yet...

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            post penis please

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That never stopped Ron Jeremy.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ron Jeremy wasn't bad looking when he was young and just starting his career. Manlet, sure, but that just made his wiener look even bigger on camera.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, her name was Mariana Cordoba

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Mariana Cordoba
        Fuarkkk I would.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A human with a dog wiener?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        *horse

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Question:
      Is Deadpool and wolverine circumcised?
      If so, did it grow back?

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Your post is this guy's whole storyline
    >Powers
    Avian Mutation: Beak has a mutation wherein his bones were light and hollow. His arms had feathers which allowed him to glide and fly for short distances with great effort.

    Enhanced Sight: Beak can see at a long range.
    Talons: Beak has talons on his hands and feet.

    Abilities
    Beak is really good at making friends.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >fly for short distances with great effort
      >with great effort
      Why did they have to add that?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Because characters like Beak exist to illustrate the short end of the Mutant stick. There are a few and most of them are Morlocks. Beak looks like a baby chicken and has all the skills and powers of a baby chicken.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He still manages to breed with a black qt.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >still
            you mean only. Aids and egg sac bug babies is a pretty bad consolation prize

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I thought her necklace said "ANAL"

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            what a cruel thing to birth such hideous creatures

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            LAS CREATURAS

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Really shows you the dating market value of black women.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >qt
            >that being

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That belongs in a Lovecraft novel instead of capeshit wtf?!

            They just show the human supremacist and their sentinel robot army as the good guys with this single picture.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >gives birth to americans
            Grim

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Humiliation ritual

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      mutants were a mistake

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        mutation is a driving force of evolution. Most mutations are like an extra toe or being hairless but nature does not often select for a mutated trait UNLESS it provides an advantage. If there is an advantage it will get bred into the species and become a common trait over time.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You need jesus

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            you need to explore your relationship with reality and common sense and stop crushing on some long dead conman.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              he said jesus, not marx

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Underrated

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I was talking about x-gene mutants specifically. Also this

          You need jesus

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This is bullshit because how would that work over nassive distances?
          Like one homie who can run fast isn't spreading DNA enough to make a new species
          Lmaoing at science here

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            bigger problem would be how frick do you get the adaptation of fast running legs made from a gorillian small changes that weren't a whole set of fast running legs?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Like one homie who can run fast isn't spreading DNA enough to make a new species
            Lets say you got a tribe of homies. A pack of wolves attacks the homies while they're out fishing or something. Every homie that can't run fast is eaten. Since the only homie left for the niggresses is the guy who runs fast, his tribe gets the run fast gene implanted into every subsequent member of the tribe.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Doesn’t he like frick a bug lady mutant and their use their offspring as basically mutant/human bones and glue to clog a machine?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        dont worry. he got better.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Where is this from?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            X-Men

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          he cute

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >barges into the thread

      WHAT ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT??
      MUTANTS ARE NOT DISABLED
      WE ARE ALL PERFECT AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT
      ALL OF US ARE GIFTED!!!
      OUR MUTATION ISNT A CURSE, ITS A BLESSING!!!
      YES, EVEN YOU, BEAK, YOU ARE COMPLETELY FINE AND HEALTHY

      WE ARE ALL MUTANTS AND WE DO NOT NEED A CURE, WE DO NOT WANT A CURE!! SAY IT WITH ME !!!

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        post yfw storm told rogue, the girl who mindfricks anyone she touches, that she shouldn't want a cure so she can finally feel another humans touch

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Can't Rogue just use condoms and latex suits if she wants to frick?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I'd imagine she wants to feel actual contact at some point in her life

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Can't she just pet furry animals or something? Hug someone in a thick jacket?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                mate I'm talking about SEX

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You can have sex with condoms and latex suits.

                >Can't she just pet furry animals or something?

                That would kill them you monster

                Fur is not living, therefore it wouldn't hurt a furry animal if Rogue touched it. She can't drain people through their clothes, right?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                she can't kiss, which was a definite point between her and gambit in the 90s, and like I said,

                I'd imagine she wants to feel actual contact at some point in her life

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                She kissed the ice guy in X-Men 2. Eventually her powers drained him, but she got a good, solid, 6 second kiss from him before that.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                yes man the kiss still drains regardless, that's the main issue

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                But she totally got a real kiss from him with no ill effects. Rogue just has to limit her kisses to 5 seconds and it's smooching time.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                it'd be a real mood killer if she loses track of 5 seconds mid sex and the dude starts to pass out mid thrust

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                When it means the other person is probably going to have a migraine for the rest of the day those quick smooches aren't going to be coming very often

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Can't she just pet furry animals or something?

                That would kill them you monster

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            In the comics, she loves rubbing wolverine’s claws

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >humanized
            repulsive

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Can you explain this, does storm genuinely believe she's not special compared to blokes like toad?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Toad is a WHITE MALE while Storm is an African woman of color

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He gets a glow up eventually.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wonder how there is zero storyline about mutants such as him simply just commit mass suicide or murder-suicide on the daily basis. There's no way a guy can be turned into that and just didn't simply kill himself.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    would be a cool power if they were venomous and you could shoot them
    you'd make bank as a hitman

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    is that the asian guy from linkin park?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Asain guy from saw 1 that dies

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Asian guy from rush hour 1

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Miles from Lost, Junior Soprano psycho buddy and random guy from rambo

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    At least he gets to have some power in a majority muggle world, which puts him above the baseline. Imagine being a muggle or a shitter in a world where the baseline is to get an awesome power.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      But most normies in MHA have shitty powers.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Even the ones in the class for the upper echelon of kids have shit powers.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          this
          >tail
          >strong (but only if you eat sugar)
          >make fricking tape from your arms

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            (but only if you eat sugar)
            while also having a super low cap on how much stronger he can get compared to the average strength power person in universe

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              It also makes him moronic

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >muggle
      wat?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        watch harry potter, zoomie

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >unironically referencing harry potter
          go back to tumblr

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This universe makes no sense, if everyone is super then noone is. Why would they have super heros and villians. Shouldn't the heroes be regular cops in this universe?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >everyone
        Everyone isn't.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Shouldn't the heroes be regular cops in this universe?
        Yet another good premise for a series in this blessed thread. A cop drama set in a universe where like 90% of people have super powers and anyone who doesn't is considered handicapped. Have a detective protagonist and give him a sexy female partner with OP Superman powers who can get him out of a jam and there's a "will they/ won't they" sexual tension whenever she rescues him from life-threatening peril.

        Some scenes focus on regular police shot in the style of "COPS" where officers with no powers respond to calls and solve crimes and take down petty criminal supervillains with proper police procedure and ingenuity.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          frick it's like that new zealand fake cop show dealing with supernatural beings

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Friends don’t let friends watch Taika Cohen Waititi shit, anon.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              sorry I didn't realise it was ~~*him*~~ the first season was shit anyway

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >"Sir, are you D'Andre "Black Arson" Jefferson?"
          >"AY I AINT KNOW NOBODY BY DAT NAME YOU GOT DA WRONG homie"
          >"Well sir, we got a call from the manager of a local Popeye's who claimed a disgruntled gentlemen burned down his establishment using his laser vision and you fit the description"
          >"WELL I SAID FIVE MOTHAFRICKIN PACKETS OF SAUCE AND DEY ONLY GAVE ME FO"
          >"Sir you have the right to remain silent, any super powers can and will be used against you in a court of law"
          >"AY YO DAWG I DINDU NUFFIN LEMME GO"

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >"Sir, are you D'Andre "Black Arson" Jefferson?"

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You had the chance to make it funny. And you made it racist.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There was a great little show called Death Valley that was exactly this. ‘Cops’ in Santa Ana whose job it was to make sure werewolves got correctly locked away by their families on the full moon, etc. Was created by Rob Zombie’s little brother.
          Sadly got cancelled just when it started really ripening into a great show.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Physical media chads win again

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sounds KINO.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Shouldn't the heroes be regular cops in this universe?
        They basically are. They get their training at a school funded by the government and they need a (provisional) "Hero licence" from the government to be allowed to do any hero work. There's even that one autistic villain, Stain, who rages about the term "hero" being misappropriated by government goons - and he's totally right. The only thing where it gets a bit funky is that the so-called heroes are organized in private agencies which compete with one another for work opportunities and also make money off of side hustles like merchandise and such. Hell, no less a character than the MC's main love interest wants to become a "hero" because it's a wellpaying job.

        So in the Hero Academia universe, "heroes" are basically the special forces of the police who for some reason are allowed to operate without direct government oversight in return for receiving no public funding. It's a strange mixture of being an incredibly cynical take on the capeshit genre and being a partial lolbertarian utopia where the most important police work is carried out by competing private enterprises.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >o for some reason are allowed to operate without direct government oversight in return for receiving no public funding.
          it happened because people the first thing it happened when people started to get super powers was larping as super heroes.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >awesome power

      theres a girl whos power is that she just is a snake from the torso up. thats it. I mean thats moronic and sucky.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        <imagine sucking your own dick

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        sky high was a solid flick

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          when I heard about My Hero Academia I couldnt stop thinking about how they just copied Sky High right down to the whole MC has no powers until he gets THE BEST POWERS.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How many stories can you really tell with a powerless MC premise?
            Either that, or the one where he uses gadgets to make up for it.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Rubber powers are hot to me, especially with cartoony reality bending
        Fricking with Luffy or the Mask would make me cum buckets hnngghh
        Being them would be even hotter
        Never sore, no rashes, as big or small as you want, can make yourself hot
        Damn

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        that's kinda hot

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      anime is gay and you should be castrated

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There has to be worse mutant powers

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm a real life chronomancer it fricking sucks. i always know the time to the minute in my head. watches and then phones destroyed my industry

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wait till you find out about the Great Lakes Avengers.

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this power is really useful as a natural anti-rape defense, assuming he can control spikes by his butthole.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >finally get to have sex with a cute girl
      >this is awesome!
      >get a little out of control, suddenly spikes shoot out of your dick
      >she screams

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Shoots spike out your butthole
      >Get sued by Villeneuve for copyright infringing his popcorn buckets

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Spike Li

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Underrated

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    And yet Magneto treated him as one of the better mutants

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's better than nothing.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Could be worse at least I can hide being a porcupine this version of toad is fricked for life

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >your superpower is being ugly as frick

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        he also has super agility though in form of leaping and in one of the movies he spat that gunk in Storms face that almost suffocated her.

        its almost never just "you are ugly"

        No Girl and Martha Johansson are good too. If you want a fun read here

        https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/Ultimate-X-Men/Issue-41?id=26039#2

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >reading Bendis slop
          Might as well hammer nails into your penis. If you aren't reading for Mark Millar's edge, then there's no point in reading Ultimate X-Men.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Why is there a black women and a bdsm gimp in the special class?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            uhhhh.......b....because...

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              So in the nose, le mom working. The racist father who's actually ehat he hates.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you'd really get a kick out of the movie "Slingblade" I bet lol

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              His dad was right, muties and their parents should be castrated so that their genes don't continue to create more genetic monstrosities

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                its okay that your son is ga-.. has wings bro. Doesnt make him any more or less human.

                ?t=71

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                How useful is Angel's powers? Isn't he basically the Falcon of the X Men?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Really fricking shitty until he became arch-angel and then he is just normal shitty but at least he can fly and shoot metal feathers at people.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                just having wings in a world of super mutants is really cool in an underdog kind of way

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >manlet

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I heard this place was safe for ga- I mean mutants...

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                its okay that your son is ga-.. has wings bro. Doesnt make him any more or less human.

                ?t=71

                ?t=21

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              how can you not be freaked out by this guy hes a Lovecraftian nightmare.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                He's nice don't bully

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                A Lovecraftian nightmare is having to eat out your gf after cumming on her breasts not Glob

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                You ever done that?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I hate how they always portraying outrage against mutants as something irrational and senseless. It makes sense in a world where little Timmy can turn into a nuke on his 15th birthday, or Tyler emitting radiation when getting in his first fight. People would be more scared of these mutants but feel bad for the one's that are harmless and obviously disabled by their mutation. Not mindlessly telling them to die just because they're a "mutie"

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >they always portraying outrage against mutants as something irrational and senseless
                When was that? People were debating it sensibly in the senate.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I would totally frick it, if it was a female.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >class filled with horribly mutated freaks
          >and a black woman

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Literally no difference between them all

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Where else would you put her?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Who is the gimp?

          Doesn’t he like frick a bug lady mutant and their use their offspring as basically mutant/human bones and glue to clog a machine?

          Are you unwell?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            his special mutant ability is that you can deploy him almost anywhere to keep a ever watchful eye on your enemies while you are busy

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Oh, it's that guy that nobody notices/remembers?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                no thats Forget Me Not. was just making a gimp joke. I forget what that guys name and power is.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                rip

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                this guy has a great power though. He can go anywhere without being detected and kill the enemy.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Reminds me of Hinokage Kuudou in the Medaka Box manga who had a power called "Unknown Hero" that was similar to this, who gets introduced by being asked for help with the then antagonists and just leaves and the next time he shows up he just stands behind the leader of the antagonists, smashing his head into a table.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Why isn;t this dude a professional theif, spy, or con-man?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                What dude?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                His clients always forget about him

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Sounds like a rip off of Blanks in the 40k universe. They have negative souls and people with positive souls will subconsciously ignore them. If a Blank is well trained and quiet, they can sneak past anyone.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Blanks are underrated. They are more useful than psykers in some degree, with mostly no drawback.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Why don't negative souls ignore positive souls?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                In the warp, a normal human soul is like a star; Luminous and shining with energy. A negative or "null" soul is like a black hole. It absorbs energy without end. It can't be seen except from its effects on the warp energy around it. Directly interacting with a blank is extremely taxing because they're dimming your soul just by standing near you.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                If blanks suck in warp energy, why don't they explode into chaos?

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Their souls are bottomless pits. Daemons fear being killed by blanks because that will truly kill them, rather than merely sending the daemon back to the warp. The null soul devours the daemon.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                no you moron
                blank isn't invisible, they fricked people mind
                made normies uneasy and psyker killed themself

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                No you frickwit. I never said they're invisible I said they make people ignore them. They're in the table top rules as characters that have stealth abilities.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >joined Unknown
                Pretty funny also I think he should be wearing an X-men top but his pants should be mom blue jeans

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Literally who?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >fully posable
              >no knee or elbow joints
              what a fricking scam

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you need to dom the doll and snap its limbs into joints, part of the experience

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The gimp’s name is Dummy (really). His superpower is that his body is gas, as in, he’s like that all the time.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >the pink backpack
          who's that? imagine your mutation is being a backpack. that would suck.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Superpowers are super strength, super durability and looking like a decrepit old woman regardless of your age

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >that pic
            Akira ripoff?

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              She was supposed to be a body for Xavier's evil twin sister that he killed in the womb but later writers missed that so she's just ugly and simple minded.

              Why is there a black women and a bdsm gimp in the special class?

              Black chick a former stripper and the gimp is actually a fart cloud.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's why they call them mutants instead of heroes. Humanity was right to want to exterminate them.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        TIL I'm a superhero

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can he shoot them out? If not it sucks

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he does in the comics

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    eliot rodger vibes

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If you can fire off the needles like a gun and can replenish ammunition, then it might not be so bad

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      in the movie he has to trick people into hugging him to kill them, lmfao

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    sadly he wasn't also blue and fast then he could be like dankey kang the hedgefund manager

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Plus you're born a chingchong. That's just cruel.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That's the whole point of the Morlocks. They got the shit end of the X-gene lottery and have to hide in sewers. They're literal C.H.U.D.S.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I'll use my telekinesis to distract Magneto
    >Storm, quick, use your ability to change the weather to hit that guy with lightning
    >Wolverine, use your unbreakable claws to cut down that steel door
    >Great job everyone
    >Now quickly, Cyclops, use your laser vision to take out those guards
    >Ha ha excellent work X-Men
    >Uhh... Pincushion.... or Porcupine, whatever your name is...
    >You just... just stay back, like FAR away from everybody
    >Yeah you guard the jet and maybe try not to destroy the upholstery in your chair this time
    m
    Pitching my movie idea for X-Men: Detention starring all of the kids at Xavier's school who have the shittiest powers and get awful grades since they know they aren't going on missions anytime soon and they all have to band together to save the A-list X-Men.

    >Flannel - A Scottish mutant who can make anything plaid at will
    >Skates - A mutant who can turn her feet into roller blades, but sucks at roller blading
    >Dippy - A mutant who can turn himself moronic at will, granting him Tard Strength but has to be reasoned with in his moronic state in order to turn back (as I typed this I realized I'm describing The Hulk)
    >Hashbrown - Has the ability to control potatoes the way Magneto controls metal
    >Enigma - Charismatic, wienery kid who insists he has amazing powers but can't reveal them because he's "too powerful"; gets really nervous and defensive whenever you ask questions about them. His mom kept calling the school and threatening to sue until they let him in.
    >Butterface - Morbidly overweight female mutant with the power to shapeshift a 10/10 body but can't change her face

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I feel like this type of movie has already been done. where the B-list people with shitty powers band together to use their shitty powers to save the day. What was that one show with Flex Mentallo and " THE LIVING STREET CORNER" and the Robot guy.

      even then you know even the shittiest mutant powers still mog normal humans. Remember that scene in Logan where all the kids kill the guard using their collectively worthless powers? or hell. Remember the movie First Class where you had "I fly by screeching", "my tattoo butterfly wings let me fly a bit" and "I can grow gills"?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I feel like this type of movie has already been done. where the B-list people with shitty powers band together to use their shitty powers to save the day
        Suicide Squad

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          oh yeah. Well to be fair SOME of their powers are actually useful like Deadshot having extreme accuracy.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Flex Mentallo
        That’s DC’s ‘Doom Patrol’.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        mystery men

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        would

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Remember that scene in Logan where all the kids kill the guard using their collectively worthless powers?
        They all get carried by the kid with Magneto's power. Without him they are all dead.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Did you ever see that show Misfits?
        Just remembering that one where the guy has the power to control milk.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Doom patrol, but they don't have weak powers, just unbearably shit lives
        >Invincible robot man, but he has no facial expressions or sensation aside from a 480p video feed
        >guy with alien energy being in his body that lets him fly and do shit but he's radioactive and has to wear mummy bandages to not kill everyone
        >Elastic girl who turns into the all consuming blob if she gets upset
        >Girl with 50 powers but shes a schizo with 50 personalities

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Hashbrown - Has the ability to control potatoes the way Magneto controls metal
      do you realize how important potato crops are? that Black person could cause immense damage to the worlds food supply

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >The part in the movie where Magneto corrupts Hashbrown and holds the entire nation of Ireland hostage

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          imagine the chaos that would happen. cargo ships transporting potatoes run aground, their crew dead from blunt force trauma, blocking shipping routes. No more fries, hashbrowns at fastfood shops, causing rioting and unrest. Entire farms lifting themselves out of the soil to clog airvents in every military vehicle, ship and aircraft. You think you're a tough soldier until a million potatoes emerge over the hills and then you're dead. The President has mashed potatoes as a side, and then that night the remains suffocate him in his sleep. Hashbrown is overpowered

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            2 words:
            >Potato Golem
            Dude could create an army of potato soldiers

            I just got back from the dentist and they numbed half of my face, stop making me laugh so hard you buttholes

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              hey numb-face, how's Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters going?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        2 words:
        >Potato Golem
        Dude could create an army of potato soldiers

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >The sky darkened, and then the potatoes were among us. Clogging our mouths, anus and eyes. Rupturing our ears. The force of these potatoes caused mens brains to be splattered on the ground, on which more potatoes lay absorbing those nutrients to create more potatoes. We are yet alive, but nothing more then fertilizer for the next generation of potatoes

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You just described the Misfits villain who could control milk and cheese and used his power to kill everyone, including the immortal regenerator by fusing cheese to his brain.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          His power is creating irishmen?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        2 words:
        >Potato Golem
        Dude could create an army of potato soldiers

        Stop making Anon's movie pitch sound so fun when we know they won't make it
        Don't give me hope

        >"You need to get Juggernaut to chase you to the town's Ore-Ida packing facility"
        >"Why?"
        >"JUST DO IT, SKATES"
        >"You better have a god-damned plan, Hashbrown!"

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          god I want to see that, but Skates keeps tripping over and skating into walls like a baby deer

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What a great opportunity for a tragic backstory too.
        >When I was twelve my family was having breakfast at Denny’s and a guy held the place up with a shotgun
        >I felt the power rising within me but didn’t understand it and couldn’t control it
        >Before I knew it every plat of hash browns in the place flew across the restaurant and just buried the guy
        >I… I accidentally Smothered him to death

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >I… I accidentally Smothered him to death
          Did nobody get this reference?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The scene where Butterface seduces the prison guard at a bar and gets him to purchase 6 orders of $4 happy hour loaded tater tots to share so Hashbrown can bust himself out the following day

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        if you ate anything potato based, it would be like blood-bending, the damage would be immense. The combined military generals have a meal with potatoes? They're all dead.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Final fight scene where the X-men delinquents have to fight Magneto's henchmen
      >Sabertooth busts into the abandoned town's local thrift store looking for a Scottish and therefore very drunk Flannel
      >Plaid shirts on every rack
      >Camera cuts to Sabertooth's POV, the walls, floors, and ceilings are plaid
      >Funhouse mirror scene occurs in the dressing rooms as Sabertooth slashes wildly at different clothing items while Flannel verbally abuses him over the PA system
      >"Haha yeh missed me again ya daft fookin' twat"
      >Sabertooth slowly goes insane as his vision fills with tartans
      >"Ye dumb fookin' git, fairy wit yer wee gaygit claws like a kitteh"

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Funkytown playing in the background

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Funkytown playing in the background

        If this film doesn't get made I will literally kill myself

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      - Has the ability to control potatoes the way Magneto controls metal
      Yeah, we've all seen misfits, try again.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Dippy - A mutant who can turn himself moronic at will, granting him Tard Strength but has to be reasoned with in his moronic state in order to turn back (as I typed this I realized I'm describing The Hulk)
      Fricking kek

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Technically Hulk learns to control it and is still a genius while in hulk mode.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        ARE YOU BASING THAT OFF THE M*VIES??

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        shut up

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Write the script and sell it to James Gunn
      It worked for suicide squad part 2

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      - Has the ability to control potatoes the way Magneto controls metal

      LMAO

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      - Has the ability to control potatoes the way Magneto controls metal
      >is also ridiculously stereotypically irish

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >> "Get plaid!" the Flanel man shouted making the angry mob fold into fresh kilts in front of him

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Woke my wife and my dog up laughing so hard frick you

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      - Charismatic, wienery kid who insists he has amazing powers but can't reveal them because he's "too powerful"; gets really nervous and defensive whenever you ask questions about them. His mom kept calling the school and threatening to sue until they let him in.
      that reminds me a little bit of the black guy from Mystery Men

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he does one thing in that movie, and it's kill the innocent doctor lady.

      his power is being a dickwad

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I kind of find it hard to believe that that would even kill someone

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It got the Crocodile Hunter

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Does Enigma have a Canadian girlfriend?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's Mystery Men you idiot.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Dippy - A mutant who can turn himself moronic at will, granting him Tard Strength but has to be reasoned with in his moronic state in order to turn back (as I typed this I realized I'm describing The Hulk)
      hehehe

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    just become a singer in a 00's core scene band, easy

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    a lot of mutants are just ugly as their power. X-Men are the rarities, and omega-lvls are the top 1%

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ITT: anons craft a better X-Men movie than has been attempted by any other media.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      In the comics of The Boys there’s a team of ‘special’ mutants named Superduper whose powers are either completely shit, poorly controlled, or they’re literal morons.
      One of them, Ladyfold, is a super-menstruator; it’s funny until another one of her kind shows up later called ‘Heavy Flo’. Then it just gets… revolting.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    GOTTA GO FAST

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what about the guy who had literal maggots for a dick

    he was in the x-men book i had as a kid

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        some of these mutations are moronic, why would your dick mutate into maggots what would be the evolutionary benefit.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Maggott (Japheth) is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The character was briefly a member of the X-Men.

          Abilities
          Slug-based digestive system
          Psychometry
          A flamboyant South African mutant who spoke in exaggerated Afrikaans slang, Maggott was advertised as one of the strangest X-Men. His digestive system took the form of two slugs which could eat through practically any substance. After feeding, the slugs reentered Maggott's abdomen and passed nourishment into him, giving him incredible power.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ah so this is the BBC that all the b***hes and hoochies turn out got at de cluuuub

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I love villains comprised of maggots, wienerroaches, spiders, flies, etc. There used to be a Spider-Man character named Swarm like that.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Swarm is used a ton in that Marvel Snap game. His legacy lives on.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      was it Maggot? I can't post images because I'm banned but i did a picture of him
      0
      T
      /

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't this basically life?

    >other people get born to rich parents that can buy them nice things, a safety net and get them prestigious jobs
    >get born with good looks that earn them admiration for no effort
    >get born with high intelligence that lets them achieve things with less effort and get ahead of others
    >get born with a productive personality that others have to painfully try to emulate by reading self-help books in adulthood
    >get born with a personality that rewards them with dopamine doing productive things like math that others hate

    >here is your ugly body, health problems, shitty personality, crippling mental illness and poor parents bro

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This isn't a soapbox for your shitty life you moron

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Frick off back to Plebbit, Cinemaphile is a site for winners only.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Gentlemxn, my name is wank
      -neet-o, since surviving several sets of concentration curls during the meme wars I run a team of supreme gentlemen, dedicated to incel supremacy, I would love for you to join!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >here is your ugly body, health problems, shitty personality, crippling mental illness
      everything easily fixable by lifting
      >t. knower

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I lifted and it crippled me for life. Frick lifting.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          yeah right homosexual

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Everybody thinks they're invincible until their both of their TCLs pop simultaneously. You can't just heal from that like Wolverine can.

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would put myself through extensive training to make other hairs on my body sharp as frick and learn how to shoot them or use them efficiently

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >get killgrave's powerset
    wwyd?

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what can you do? beat off into a sock and eat a large pizza by yourself?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      at the same time?

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    when I smoke crack i gets crazy strong

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What's the most amazing feat you've accomplished while on crack?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I got superspeed and walked across my island in 4 hours smoking crack all the way. Hikers take 2 days. I remember just jumping down ravines and brought some more crack for the return journey on the beach. 9 hours total including buying more crack. no trails was just bushwacking

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I want to come hang out with you, what island is this that is so isolated yet has access to copious amounts of crack?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            vanuatu but i'm white parents moved here from nz so I came

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              that's bad ass i've never smoked crack before, let's get fricked up and retrace your epic journey and try to beat your previous record

              I live in the pacific northwest near mt st helens so I'm no stranger to getting high and backpacking around active volcanoes, let's get absolutely blasted and offend your pagan god by how fleet-footed we are. Or have a comfy 5-day crack hike and you can show me the sights.

              I don't know how much crack costs but it's on me. We'll post live updates on Cinemaphile. It'll be awesome.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                crack is cheap (thanks china) $20 Australian for a days worth and i overpay because not a native. There's natural weed fields so i usually just smoke that. It's actually a really nice country apart from the native females that lust over whites

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Crack doesn't come from China.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                it does here, at least the chemicals required to produce it

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      https://www.youtube.com/shorts/sWUW9KuSmRw?feature=share

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        don't you diss snowflame. the guy is frick awesome

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Powers
    >Soft Serve can poop ice cream. She has control over the flavors she produces and can poop "pretty much all" the different flavors of ice cream.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What does she fart?

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Irish Man: Gets more powerful the more he drinks.
    Irish Woman: Wife of Irish Man, can't be killed by blunt trauma

  35. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's the point of Rogue's power?

    Why doesn't Gambit throw energy bullets instead of gay cards?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      > why doesn't gambit throw energy bullets
      he (usually) only has the power to charge objects with his power, using cards is better because they're super light, can be stacked together easily, and don't take up much space.

  36. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I mean, its better than mutants who have powers that kill themsevles.

  37. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They Can it's Called V2K and Remote Neural Monitoring with Cell Phone Towers

  38. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >tumblr screenshot
      /co/mblrgay go back to your containment board

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >crying about tumblr in 2024
        Who cares, it was the only time they got it right.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >anon posting image from website must come from that website
        are you fricking 50

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          CinemaphileX's randomised filenames is a godsend for dodging the no-lifers that memorized every single "bad" filename and will derail the thread to complain about an image being from reddit or tumblr or whatever.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >randomizing filenames
            It's a screenshot of half the webpage

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >anon posting image from website must come from that website
        are you fricking 50

        I wouldn't have complained if you didn't intentionally keep all the shitty cringe comments. It's been 6 years since your site got nuked, and you still can't assimilate

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's about being gay isn't it?

      >tumblr screenshot
      /co/mblrgay go back to your containment board

      tumblr was great back at it's founding so many hot girls posting lewds for attentions, it was a good time before onlyfans

  39. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >all of this Hashbrown hype
    Watch the lactokinesis episode of Misfits
    It's literally what you guys are gushing about, not-bloodbending included.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Made Nathan, a guy with immortality, brain dead by filling his brain with lactose.
      It one of those powers that can be devastating yet subtle if use by a person that isn't moronic.

  40. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He could paint himself blue and work for sega. Maybe play sonic in a movie.

  41. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How powerful would they be in the X Men world?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How did Sylar absorb abilities? I remember he didn't have to eat the brain. He put his finger in there or something.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He had to look at the brain and he’d figure out how their powers worked.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        His power wasn't actually absorbing powers it was understanding the mechanism of everything he saw.
        So looking at a brain of a mutant he could figure out their powers.
        Pretty neat concept actually and way overpowered.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          does that mean that if a normie figured out what Sylar knew they'd get powers? if he can get powers by simply cracking open a person's head, can't anyone? if not then he must actually have a secondary knowledge based power replication.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            even the writers knew it was moronic, they later retconned his power to be the same as Peter's first one but he just heckin liked killing more

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think originally in S1 especially it was definitely implied he ate them (otherwise the understanding part wouldn't make sense. how could you understand how to make a person fly?). But they tried to turn Sylar into a misunderstood anti-hero in the latter seasons so they retconned that.

  42. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Laserbeam eyes are pretty dumb too, we got firearms for that shit.

  43. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Still better than the ponytail guy out of Dark Phoenix.

  44. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      In the comics his powers were more useful, but not overpowered. When he had to fight a pissed off Hulk he gained the ability to teleport to the next state over.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        One time he got nuked or something and his body turned into a 5th dimensional being of pure energy. It's sort of implied this happened in the First Class movie because he looks like that being does before he explodes.

  45. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why’d he do it lads?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he was asking for it

  46. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    His mutant power is that his face is green.
    unrelated to that he also strangely has all the powers of a dracula

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like a fusion of Bela Lugosi's Dracula with Green Goblin/Norman Osborn.

  47. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    X-Men is political but not in the way Liberals think.
    Liberals are actually the bigots in this universe you see.
    Mutants are not an allegory for gays, like Libs always say, they are an allegory for Gun Owners. People in this universe fear Mutants because most of them are living, walking weapons. Cyclops accidentally drops his glasses and now half a city block is eating laser heat. A mutant sneezes a little too hard and his powers of nuclear detention goes off in the middle of New York. People don't fear gays for killing them, they hate them because gays rape kids. No, they fear gun owners because the Liberal elite tells them that gun owners will kill them all.
    Which is true to an extent. Like the mutants in X-Men, there are some mutants (illegal gun owners with no license, papers, club, permit) use their powers to harm others to benefit themselves. Then you have the X-Men, (legal gun owners with the necessary permits, training, and moral compas) who use their powers to protect the innocent by defending them from the evil mutants.
    But despite the good they do, people still fear the Mutants, why? Because Senator Kelly, a Liberal, pushes that all mutants are bad and we must take away their powers (guns).

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If we were on Reddit this comment would get downvotes to oblivion

      If we were on X on the other hand…

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Mentally ill freaks of nature that seek validity via green up arrows hate common sense.
        Checks out

  48. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is that Miles from LOST?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah.

  49. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mundane superpowers is pretty interesting
    >Toes for finger and fingers for toes

  50. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >character's superpower is that he can ejaculate really quickly

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >character's superpower is that he can goon forever

  51. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If I was to get a mutant power I'd want to be a giant dogman that hunts down and eats evil folk.

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