HE'S 87 YOU SICK FRICK
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HE'S 87 YOU SICK FRICK
HE'S 87 YOU SICK FRICK
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
>2000 years ago we would have you tied upside down with an arrow up your ass!
I love a new twist on an old classic
(you)
jej
>HE IS LITERALLY YOUR ADOPTED BROTHER YOU SICK FRICK!
No just adopted, Aragorn is a direct descendant of Elros, Elrond’s twin brother and the first king of Numenor. Aragorn is thus Arwen’s many-times removed first cousin.
Elrond is also related to his own wife
Why do you have a spread sheet about fictional people banging their own relatives?
He just doesn't want to be separated from his daughter permanently, even when Aragorn dies she'll die with him so he won't even get to see her in Valinor.
Meant for this post.
Premise 1: Elrond's wife was held in orc rape caves
Premise 2: "[Elves] would release their own spirit to Mandos before succumbing to rape"
Conclusion: She liked it
>orcs were once elves corrupted in the corrupting pits
daring synthesis
SHE'S ONLY 140 YEARS OLD YOU SICK FRICK
it's always the fat smelly dwarfs
What about second lembas bread?
keyed
Keyed is out, soured is in
Post the webm
Legendary thanks OP Cinemaphile has been shit today.
How did Eowyn get mogged so hard by her?
imagine living in Gondor, but traveling to Shire to get a hobbit gf, you would probably get looks from other people at Gondor for sure.
The Gondorians are too ambitious to aim for a simple minded down to earth Hobbit girl.
I was implying that Hobbits look like kids, and it would be weird to date one
You know who's got the tightest pussies and fattest asses? Hobbits, homie.
that part where aragorn tries to slurp up the vomit soup in order not to offend the lady was just like my animes
>read the Silmarillion
>the god of chads marry the goddess of tomboys
What did Tolkien mean by this ?
if that's true then I bet Tolkien would approve Stoya as Shelob
>In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die
Gets me every time.
>if that's true
https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Tulkas
https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Nessa
>the god of chads marry the goddess of tomboys
Maybe its I read his work then
Luthien is just based on his wife.
The story of luthien was a story he wrote for her when they were kids.
He was 16 and she 19 when they first got together. She was an older tomboy who was skilled in music that he was madly in love with. His adopted guardian was a catholic priest and didn’t want them getting together because she wasn’t catholic. Luthien is just her in middle earth.
>elrond half-elven
>butthurt about his daughter getting with a human
Why are they like this
Because Elrond knows he made the wrong choice and should have picked the doom of men to join his brother but his love of his wife and feeling of responsibility for middle earth made him choose otherwise. You aren’t supposed to pick immortality and to be tied to the earth forever, what ever god is offering men is supposed to be better than that. Elves are kind of clock work golems/ the least of angels tied to middle earth and will fade with it. Men are something more.
It’s why every half elven of his line is given the choice to be human but once they choose, human their descendants don’t get a choice. God isn’t going to give them a false choice that leads to a spiritual worse end
IT'S OKAY WHEN AN ELVEN WOMAN DOES IT
And for my final Aspergers outburst it frustrates me that Tolkien gets shit on for weak female characterization. Luthien was written during ww1 and she is basically a female Hercules/half God archetype, battles the devil to marry the boy she likes and then gets god to rewrite the rules of life and death for her. She’s probably the most important character in LoTR.