Raylan Givens kills 24 people in the course of the show. Imagine the real world reputation of any LEO, let alone a marshal, having killed 24 people in his career lol
I've been watching the wire and almost every single episode has a line about the mayor being up somebody's ass or somebody being reckless but getting the job done
>chief, she's trapped in a cage in a basement in the perps house across the country >...and she's 18 >you thinking what I'm thinking? >all together: "ROAD TRIIIIUP!"
>Anon-ski, where do you think you're going, you're under active goddamn investigation for sexual assault, turn in your badge and gun
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Hey Finklehorn, cover for us with that stuff shirt chief while we go catch the perp, and chase that fine snatch >B-bu- >B-B-BUT WHAT? Just do this and you'll be a certified kappa upsilon kappa detective
>They finally finished sorting through thosephone records chief. But it's the strangest thing, the only phone call made to the residence came from our police station. >Oh... is that so? >Ya it's crazy right? Doesn't make any sense to me. It must be a glitch or something. I've half a mind to go down to the phone company myself and sort this whole thing out. I mean no one was even in the office that day except for me and y-... >...
Would watch.
I probably already did.
Also,DAMMIT JOHNSON,THAT MAN HAS RIGHTS!
What about the little girls rights,I guess you where to bust pushing pencils to think about that.
JOHNSON,your fired!
You can't fire me,I quit.
*leaves with his gun and his 2 badges*
>you know what, this may be may last few days in the force but I'm glad I got to be your partner for all these years. I'm thinking of going on a cruise with my wife and daughter after this. >just don't forget tBANGBANGBANG
> MY fault? MY fault? I've had the Major tunnel his way up my ass so hard he left a postit note on my alcoholic kidneys after the screw-up YOU two clowns just caused, and it's MY fault? I swear on my grandmother's grave I'm THIS far away from bumping you two jokers down to traffic!
>He's Zalüß Kanon, but god DAMN if he doesn't get the job done
Huh? Why did they bring up this one officer who's never named onscreen and then never bring him up again?
>where the hell have you been Johnson! Bringing in the mayor's son? You want to blow the whole god dam case for a personal vendetta? I've had the city up my ass the whole morning because of this and you wanna go play hide and seek!?
looks like some hood Black person walking past a guy and shooting him through his jacket pocket so he doesn't visibly have to draw the gun and alert them
>that's it, you're back on the case! Here's your gun and badge, and your other gun and other badge. >I'll notify the DA and the mayor. Secretary, find me some hemorrhoids cream.
>cue 2000's era generic indie rock song playing at the end of the episode as we see the different cops at various "heartfelt" moments or struggling with a stack of papers
>Damnit Meowski, you can't keep knocking my things off the desk! I'm the police chief, I deserve your respect! >w..wait...what are you doing with my "#1 dad" mug?
>ITS NOT YOUR DURISTICTION ANON >BUT ITS MY PERP >YOUR OFF THE CASE ANON YOUR SUSPENDED >ITS PERSONAL CHEIF >YOUR PERSONALLY RUINING MY DEPARTMENT OFFICER ANON >GOTA BREAK SOME EGGS CHIEF >YOUR BREAKING MY BALLS OFFICER ANON GET OUT OF MY OFFICE >ILL BE HITTIN THE STREETS CHEIF CYA IN HELL
"slams door" >YOUR MAKING MY LIFE HELL OFFICER ANON STAY AWAY FROM THE PERPtm >
> We're shutting down the case.
>They can't do this, Chief! It was MY case!
>FBI, this is my case now - you boys go back to putting tickets on cars or whatever it is you do
> I'm suspending you without pay. I'll need your badge and your gun.
>and your other gun.
Perfect
>and your other badge.
>and your other pay
>and your other gun
>I'm suspending you with pay.
>Ok, bye.
>Meet your new partner, he may be new on the force but he was top of his class at the academy.
>You don't get it, do you. I work alone.
>Loose canon becomes more responsible
>Tightass newbie becomes reckless rebel
The mayor will have my ass for that little stunt you pulled
goddammit Raylan, you're a loose cannon ... but still, your shootings are...
Justified
Raylan Givens kills 24 people in the course of the show. Imagine the real world reputation of any LEO, let alone a marshal, having killed 24 people in his career lol
They're white rednecks so nobody cares.
I've been watching the wire and almost every single episode has a line about the mayor being up somebody's ass or somebody being reckless but getting the job done
The mayor must have a great job, getting to go up the asses of so many
I'm not talking till I get a lawyer.
>Do you know what they do to soft little punks like you in prison?!
They make friends with them?
>WE AINT GOT THE TIME FOR THAT A GIRLS LIFE IS AT STAKE
>Chief... shes...
>it's your daughter
>THAT'S IT, I'M PULLING THE PLUG ON THIS
>chief, she's trapped in a cage in a basement in the perps house across the country
>...and she's 18
>you thinking what I'm thinking?
>all together: "ROAD TRIIIIUP!"
>Anon-ski, where do you think you're going, you're under active goddamn investigation for sexual assault, turn in your badge and gun
>Hey Finklehorn, cover for us with that stuff shirt chief while we go catch the perp, and chase that fine snatch
>B-bu-
>B-B-BUT WHAT? Just do this and you'll be a certified kappa upsilon kappa detective
>no facebook, no instagram, no twitter, no tiktok, no youtube
>this guy's a ghost
>I seen a case like this once before - not to worry, check his LinkedIn
>Sir... you're gonna want to see this
>you're a LOOSE CANNON, CODY
>I'm not bankrollin' your whole stretch
IN ENGLISH DOC?
>We gotta keep this one off the books... I can't protect you anymore... you're on your own.
> The lab reports just came in. We've got the wrong guy!
> If it's not him... then that must mean...!
>Let's just hope he'sahgds not too late
Just Cause (1995)
>*gun wieners behind you*
>mayor's wiener behind you
>You just had to keep digging, didn't you?
>They finally finished sorting through thosephone records chief. But it's the strangest thing, the only phone call made to the residence came from our police station.
>Oh... is that so?
>Ya it's crazy right? Doesn't make any sense to me. It must be a glitch or something. I've half a mind to go down to the phone company myself and sort this whole thing out. I mean no one was even in the office that day except for me and y-...
>...
>*coffee mug breaks on ground*
>the suits down at the mayor's office want my head on a PLATTER!
>zoom in
>and enhance
>I'm going to hack into the mainframe... this'll only take a couple of seconds
>And... I'm in
>S-sir, you're not gonna believe this..
>Well? spit it out already, Johnson
>He hasn't updated his facebook profile picture since 2014
>My god, this guy's a ghost. Get the burea on the line ASAP.
>please I cant go in there with a wire they will kill me
>thats not my problem
>I've seen his file
>he's special forces
>helicopter flashback to Campuchea
>"It ain't me" starts playing
>Damn it, Johnson, you're gonna do it by the book or I want your badge and your gun on my desk by tomorrow morning
>you hear that, rookie? I got until tomorrow morning to do this MY way!
Would watch.
I probably already did.
Also,DAMMIT JOHNSON,THAT MAN HAS RIGHTS!
What about the little girls rights,I guess you where to bust pushing pencils to think about that.
JOHNSON,your fired!
You can't fire me,I quit.
*leaves with his gun and his 2 badges*
>you're out of this case, the DA's office has been farting down my neck for weeks and they want you gone!
>THE COMMISIONER IS SO FAR UP MY butthole HE COULD TICKLE MY EYEBALS KOWALSKI
>"You LOSE sir! Hand over your Golden Ticket!"
>god damn it detective the DA is riding my ass raw and he doesn't even cuddle afterwards!
That’s it, Chief! You’re out of a job! I want your desk and your gun on my desk by sundown!
And your backup desk.
>I want your desk and your gun on my desk by sundown!
piece of shit only fired me because he wants to have two desks and two guns
M E G A D E S K
A megapint?
>you know what, this may be may last few days in the force but I'm glad I got to be your partner for all these years. I'm thinking of going on a cruise with my wife and daughter after this.
>just don't forget tBANGBANGBANG
>he retired after his partner got killed...but hes the only one that can solve this case
This is a nice thread to find, I'm getting retired in two weeks.
How many black people have you detained?
People? None.
Jungle apes? Must be close to 400
ANON WATCH OU..
>hes never been the same after the loss of his wife and daughter...
> You two. In my office. NOW.
Sir the accident wasn't your fault
> MY fault? MY fault? I've had the Major tunnel his way up my ass so hard he left a postit note on my alcoholic kidneys after the screw-up YOU two clowns just caused, and it's MY fault? I swear on my grandmother's grave I'm THIS far away from bumping you two jokers down to traffic!
>okay, what's plan b?
>that was plan b...
how do ik now i can trust you don't
you cant
:^)
>you may be a paedophile but you're the best god damn paedophile on the force
>You've been out on the beat too long. The streets wear you down. You forget the reason you started.
I GOT THE MAYOR’S OFFICE BREATHING DOWN MY ASS
>MALFOY, POTTER!!! YOUR ASSES, MY OFFICE, NOW!!!
>Playtime's over
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUNG BUCKS LIKE YOU IN THE BIG HOUSE?!
[SPOILER]THEY BREAK 'EM![/SPOILER]
>manually typing out spoiler tags instead of using ctrl+s
>He's Zalüß Kanon, but god DAMN if he doesn't get the job done
Huh? Why did they bring up this one officer who's never named onscreen and then never bring him up again?
kys
>where the hell have you been Johnson! Bringing in the mayor's son? You want to blow the whole god dam case for a personal vendetta? I've had the city up my ass the whole morning because of this and you wanna go play hide and seek!?
"SHE WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD MENTALLY BUT NOT PHYSICALLY YOU SICK FREAK!"
>WE GAAN
We can all agree Captain Murphy from Lethal Weapon is the most kino cop captain, right? He doesn’t give a frick.
Of course. He's the gold standard.
Movies about vigilante justice and renegade cops have been disaster for the boomer psyche.
What crime did he stop?
Racism
that's messed up
What the frick am I looking at?
looks like some hood Black person walking past a guy and shooting him through his jacket pocket so he doesn't visibly have to draw the gun and alert them
IN ENGLISH GODDAMMIT
These threads always have me shitting myself I laugh so hard, thanks OP
>sir please, just five minutes of your time
>you have thirty seconds
>but sir?
>clock starts now
>two hunned dollas
>that's it, you're back on the case! Here's your gun and badge, and your other gun and other badge.
>I'll notify the DA and the mayor. Secretary, find me some hemorrhoids cream.
>I'm sorry it had to come to this, detective. All you had to do was just walk away. But we both know you would never do that, don't we?
cop shows are the worst
couldn't even watch The Wire. too cringe once you already know the memes
my mom saw this thread and laughed a lot thanks guys
Hi anon's mom!
I want to frick your mom
hi mom
post your mom's feet
Hellloooo, lovely lady.
Anon's mom, come over here..
>No liutenant, that blood does not belong to the victim. As a matter of fact... the victim was not killed here at all.
>cue 2000's era generic indie rock song playing at the end of the episode as we see the different cops at various "heartfelt" moments or struggling with a stack of papers
>I WANNA KNOW EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE
>ABSOLUTELY
>*doesn't share any information about the moves he's making*
>welp there goes plan A
>so what's plan b?
>plan b? WE RUN
>Damnit Meowski, you can't keep knocking my things off the desk! I'm the police chief, I deserve your respect!
>w..wait...what are you doing with my "#1 dad" mug?
>insert clip from last action hero
>Wait if that's the case... this means
>*click*
>I told you not to get involved Joseph...
>we tried it your way, and look where it got us.
>now it's my turn. We play it my way, my rules. No more Mr. Nice Cop
Name 5 movies where any of this happened
Black person
homosexual
Janny
troony
israelite
To name a few
There's anon's here that can name at least 50, but none will humor you, peasant.
Thats it Jannynski, I'm suspending you. I'll need your badge and your gun. but look on the bright side will you, you still get the same pay
>ITS NOT YOUR DURISTICTION ANON
>BUT ITS MY PERP
>YOUR OFF THE CASE ANON YOUR SUSPENDED
>ITS PERSONAL CHEIF
>YOUR PERSONALLY RUINING MY DEPARTMENT OFFICER ANON
>GOTA BREAK SOME EGGS CHIEF
>YOUR BREAKING MY BALLS OFFICER ANON GET OUT OF MY OFFICE
>ILL BE HITTIN THE STREETS CHEIF CYA IN HELL
"slams door"
>YOUR MAKING MY LIFE HELL OFFICER ANON STAY AWAY FROM THE PERPtm
>
did you just call me dick head..time for a beat down
>You keep a bottle o' whiskey in your desk?
>I'm Irish.