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Bumping just because it's sad to see a Clerks thread get no response. What the hell happened to the world?
Clerks 3 is liberal vegan propaganda.
Most of the people who liked Askewniverse stuff realized how bad it is long ago. I don't know what's wrong with the people who still cling to it.
I dislike Kevin Smith, but I did admit that the movie for Clerks 3 was pretty good. But the only films I can actually respect from him was the original Clerks and Chasing Amy.
He was a real amazing writer but I think he reached the point where he just wrote too much and got stale. I blame the comic books for taking too much of his dialogue reservoir. Halfway through Green Arrow you could see the cracks. He should have pulled a Tarantino. Just focus on ten movies in 30 years and then re-writing them as novels or comic books. Even Tarantino didn't really see cracks in his writing until Hateful Eight.
Only the fans riddled with Oldtimer's disease cling to his movies because they forgot the newer ones.
>Oldtimer's disease
2 and 3 were so bad it kind of ruined any care people had of the first one. No wonder everything this frick makes is so bitter at the fans, he can't stand that other properties are still enjoyed while "His" stuff just keeps bombing over and over.
Losing his literal rabbi didn't help.
Kevin Smith stopped being the funny weed and nerd things and new jersey guy and ruined his life and by extension all his previous works
Kevin Smith became a cringe homosexual and tainted his whole legacy
As a younger person, they were never popular enough to go the distance and be laugh out loud popular when I got old enough to watch them. I'm trying to think of things from that era, hard 2000 A.D., that did. Uh, Buffy as a show maintained popularity?
Clerks III killed it. 1 and 2 are still late gen-x / early millennial kino
There's nothing late Gen X or millennial about Clerks 1. It was targeted towards 20-25 year olds. It's as Gen X as you can possibly get.
Sorry you didn't have good parents who let you take an R comedy out when you were thirteen. I watched II first and thought I had a fricked up copy when I was in black and white.
It’s the herb.
JK it’s never the herb.
I was the prime age to grow up on Kevin smith movies. I love Clerks, Mallrats and Dogma and respected him as kind of an Everyman director, but as he aged and started smoking pot he became quite literally the most insufferable person of all time.
I haven't smoked weed in 3 weeks and I still feel shitty because of withdrawals. Weed addicts are moronic.
>he blames the herb
Cringe
Clerks and Clerks 2 suck wiener and so does Starwars
So does frodo
Lol Kevin Smith is a fricking homosexual for writing this
but is he wrong?
yes
the closet case fears the open emotional bonds between men
the homosexual trad larper loves gay movies, not like you ever had any friends
Stars wars fans like Kevin smith and Eric butts film themselves weeping at capeshit, you’re legitimately subhuman
You cry over cloakshit, you’re looking in a mirror
>flimbo gaygins didn’t put the bracelet in the hole… it’s over
sorry, you think return of the jedi is a better movie than return of the king?
Star Wars > LOTR
star wars is shit and has always been shit
Except Return of the King pre-dated ROTJ by 28 years. I like the OT, but Randal's being a fricking dipshit.
His Netflix He-Man cartoon and all the lies he spewed months before it premiered when fans realized He-Man wouldn't be in it made me lose any respect I once had.
Then, again, this is the same butthurt fanboy who wrote Jay and Silent Bob beating up Internet critics.
I haven't watched any of his work after Clerks II. He really made a He-Man cartoon without He-Man? What was it about? Taint-Man.
Teela and I'm not kidding. Kevin Smith even talked shit about the 80's He-Man cartoon on a podcast he did years ago so he was being a c**t when he made this.
No it was Brown-area-man
>Randal's being a fricking dipshit.
I don't think Randal was supposed to be the type to read a book that wasn't of the comic variety
The Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement that even the academy recognized when they gave Peter Jackson the Best Directing Oscar, an award your little friend George "Toy Boy" Lucas has never and will never win.
>posts something from after georgie sold off the IP
We got the best anyway.
a cute
my neurons aren't the only thing subject to activation, if you catch my meaning
gen x moment, next up he's gonna whine about his mom not paying him enough attention
He's right, you know.
I like how he has to change his hat to signify he is now filling a different role. Heh. A man of many hats.
nah, star wars blows chunks
what does this guy and the other Kevin Smith regulars do when theyre not in one of Smiths movies every now and then? i would guess they must have careers or jobs in other professions because theres no way they make a living off being in a random Kevin Smith movies every once in a while. also apparently this guy really didnt wanna be in Clerks 3, Smith had to beg him for years and the movie kept getting postponed because he kept refusing to do it, i guess even he knew it was gonna be shit
There's only one "return" and it ain't "of the jedi" it's "of the mack"
based
star wars midwit shtick will NEVER come close to "my friends, you bow to no one."
There's only one "Return", okay, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Guru"
?si=DEiO6FuwKYgppNmE
lotta salty ethnics itt
I love the scene in Clerks where he's talking about the jizzmopper at the wank booths and the guy buying stuff a jizzmopper would buy gets offended and yells at them. Jobs like this are hilarious when you're under 20, high as a kite, and just don't give a frick.
It's very strange in retrospect that Chasing Amy is the only movie in that series that doesn't feel like a vehicle for the jokes. They're very natural compared to the other movies. Instead it's just a vehicle for his cuck speech in the diner.
>Star Wars went gay
>LOTR still isn't
Must sting.
OH LORD DEM RAANGZ
>OH LAWRY DEM RANGZ
>DEM ONION RANGZ WITH POWDER
I don't know what comfy rock you live under, but it's a rock worth living under, let me tell you that
Randalbros are we ever gonna bring back porch monkey?
>autists fangirl over Starshit
ugh
is that the crimson chin
Literally only Kevin Smith thinks there's a rivalry between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.
if it was between deleting star wars forever and deleting lotr forever, i would choose star wars without even having to think about it
>I can't possibly enjoy two movie series
This is why nerds are virgins. No one likes them.
meanwhile Chads pick a sportsball team and then proceeed to hate every other
Most chads in high school play multiple sports moron. The quarterback on my football team also played basketball and was in track.
I said team you illiterate homosexual, not sport
You were vague. You mean professional sports teams? As in being a fan? First off I know many nerds that love sports, second off it's called competition and healthy factionalism you dunce.
This Black person follows a conversation like a Black person
What a great and insightful comment anon, I'm sure your dad would be proud.
>ackshully I know a guy that..
>ackshully I know many guys that...
shut the frick up you anecdotal homosexual
SW gays and nerds in general might be annoying but it has nothing on sportsball Black folk
>competition
you ain't competing in shit, you're watching bunch of grown ups playing a GAME
>healthy factionalism
there's no faction, no unity, no common thing between you and them, teams are nothing but BRANDS
you are THE proto-consoomers
Sports fans get laid.
>Muh consumerism
It's called culture. Is it based around a greedy corporate and predatory business model? Maybe, but you hyperanalyzing it isn't getting you any closer to getting your dick wet.
Mate,chill your breasts or you'll have a double aneurysm.
Anon this is pretty pathetic
you should stop for your own good
What exactly is pathetic? I don't even watch sports but I still shit talk teams with the guys at work because I'm not an incel loser that feels the need to be superior to normies.
so you're that one weirdo who desperately tries to fit in but others see right trough him so they keep him around but he's not really "in the circle", got it
You got me anons
No man, you don't understand. I'm seething so hard right now. I can't stop myself, I'm losing control from the pure hatred I'm feeling reading these posts. I can't believe people on Cinemaphile are calling me autistic. How could this happen to me?
>I'm not an incel loser I just try to put on a normie face at work to hide my seething autism
yeah okay buddy
totally not pathetic
lmao
Woman moment.
you got a little thing for this fellah?
No he actually grew up to be a nobody which makes me happy to be honest.
Again, it's literally only Kevin Smith. I have never heard this angle from another person.
i should like lotr because i enjoy fantasy shit but its so boring
star wars is gay shit that should have been left alone after the original trilogy. Same with LOTR but it didn't get picked up until well after its roots were set and never spawned anywhere near the same amount of man-baby idol worshippers. Plus it's just a better story and production in terms of the movie.
The people in school who liked these movies were always the biggest trenchcoat neckbeard homosexuals. Kevin Smith is a dick, his take on Lotr is moron tier.
Everyone likes Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. You can maybe claim to be a nerd, if you've ever actually read the books. Otherwise, these are just normal person film franchises like Indiana Jones or Back to the Future. I don't understand what this whole dialogue is.
Im convinced Kevin Smith is some weird mokeys paw director.
>Clerks
>Mall Rats
>Jay and Silent Bob Strike back
>Dogma
>all verified kino
>everything else is so bad that it borders on parody
How?
His early comic writing was also kino. Even Clerks 2 and Zack and Miri are decent. That's when the drop off starts. Everything after that is pretty bad. I think that's when he stopped working with studios and he really needs a strong producer to reign him in and trim the fat.
does kevin smith regret this scene shitting on two franchises he'd kill to work on instead of being a set orbitor? I bet every time he posts a crying picture he;s thinking about the homosexual hobbits line.
Its a fair if not harsh criticism but consider that the main point of this argument is "nothing happens in those movies they just travel from point a to b" and its a spoken monologue in a film trilogy where the main cast lingers in one mundane location after another,nobody goes anywhere, nobody grows, nobody escapes their GEN X cynicism in order to be happy, each iteration makes the characters sadder and more pathetic before they just die, just like Kev himself!
>not return of the living dead
HEY EVERYONE, TRASH IS GETTIN NAKED AGAIN
>guy literally throws up just because someone said something about hobbit blowjobs
do people really
no. It's Kevin Smith's weirdo fantasy.
Star Wars has always been slop and LOTR has always been kino. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Return of the Jedi is one of the worst films ever made.
LOTR >>> Star Wars
Historically, the LOTR nerds I know have been a lot more put together than SW nerds.
Star Wars OT is complete trash compared to LotR. Sorry but it's true. I like Star Wars but it doesn't hold up.
Can we at least agree that both trilogies have a solid ending?
LOTR fan: Appreciates cinema as an art form, probably Christian.
SW fan: Starts talking about gay sex.
Star Wars has a lot of Christian themes and that’s not even including the prequel trilogy which goes really heavy on them (but not as deftly).
Star Wars begins in a communist world where religion is outlawed besides the religion practiced by it’s rulers. Luke redeems a fallen angel and saves his soul through empathetic resolve (he wins his final battle by refusing to kill), defeats the devil and restores order while reflecting Christ’s teachings. They are Jedi “Knights”.
They are Bene Gesserit ripoffs anon. Except without the masterful eugenics program.
He didn't even say anything until they pulled out their Preciouses
This is such a gay fricking scene. I can smell the homosexual loser nerd that wrote this interaction
>claims to never have had a nerdy thought
>is posting on fa/tv/irgin
Before the internet was widespread, having two guys talk about the contracting and manpower required to build and operate the Death Star and the cost of life the rebels caused inside of a dramedy about two “regular” guys was refreshing and could be identified with.
This was before Kevin Smith was a complete soigay and the internet made this passé.
Good point. Before social media, people making pop culture references and talking about nerdy things in a non-mainatrean setting was pretty fresh. Bill Simmons was one of the first writers to include pop culture in sports writing and paved the way for all the cutesy sports shit that is rampant on ESPN and FOX. The problem is Kevin Smith stopped being unique and now there are millions of Kevin Smiths on Cinemaphile, reddit, TikTok and elsewhere.
Yeah, younger people might watch something like Clerks 1 or even Clerks 2 and think “I can just go on the internet to see nerds talk about nerdy bushit” but before widespread broadband and YouTube this wasn’t something you normally saw, especially with swearing and dudebro speak.
You’d have to go on Usenet/forums/etc which Kevin smith also makes fun of with “moviepoopshoot” in Jay and silent Bob strike back.
why was Sportacus so butthurt about someone shit talking Lord of the Rings
I'm glad I got in your head so much that you're still thinking of me, anon.
hey, homosexual, they're not gay alright, they're hobbits
Porch Monkeys, I am bringing it back.
@190177899
No one giving you a response should tell you everything you need to know