>hey anon *snickers* how was your weekend
>*pam can barely hold her smirk*
How do you respond without sounding mad?
>hey anon *snickers* how was your weekend. >*pam can barely hold her smirk*
>hey anon *snickers* how was your weekend
>*pam can barely hold her smirk*
How do you respond without sounding mad?
I don’t. I keep walking to the coffee machine with my headphones on.
you sound mad
Haha thanks yeah you too, have a good one.
Why do nonwhites always need audio stimulation? Even worse I've heard the melanin enriched blast jungle beats in public areas for everyone to enjoy
I assert my dominance in every situation so I would never be in this position
bullies like jim only pick on the easy targets, if you assert yourself even once they tend to leave you alone. as children/teenagers the solution to being picked on is simply to fight them. even if you lose you'll show that you're not just gonna take it, that's what a bully is looking for.
as an adult you should have an aura that you're not to be fricked with. this comes through in how you talk, your eye contact, how you move. even small guys can cultivate this energy and it'll save you a lot of trouble when dealing with grown-up bullies.
Who says Jim is a bully?
did you watch the show dumbass
I stab Jim in the neck with one of those pencils.
>t.
The censoring makes this look like a much more sinister video.
piss in jim's coffee
does it smell like "up dog" in here?
who's steve jobs?
Report him HR later for using racial slurs.
I'll go full Milton and burn the place down
I'm the Jim of my office but my Pam doesn't like me
I was the Jim but I got fired because I assaulted my Dwight. Although it was more of a Tim/Gareth situation like in the UK show.
That's because you aren't the Jim. You're the Toby.
>I'm the Jim of my office
You're on Cinemaphile.
You're not "the Jim", You never possibly could be
This.
You could be Dwight, Kevin, Phyllis, Toby, Meredith or even Ryan but never Jim.
>even Ryan
Ryan would have definitely been a Cinemaphile lurker.
And also making brown threads on /gif/.
I'm Kevin
Exactly. You're the unemployed schizo that could never work in a white collar environment like depicted in the show.
You seem to be implying Jim isn't a pathetic loser
as i do almost everyday, give them a blank look hungover as shit with a thumb up, say nothing and keep walking. we just work together who gives a shit
Pam, my office, 3 minutes.
>I then violently scold her by pulling up her pencil skirt and giving her 20 swift, sharp smacks on the bottom, each time curling my fingers so they just edge around her c**t lips.
>Jim can do nothing but watch through the blinds, knowing his job is hanging in the balance.
>NOOO MICHAEL NOOOOO AAAAAAAHHH!
Pam shrieks, making your toy train rattle.
>4 minutes in and already 9 replies
Calm down guys, being so uptight is what gets you bullied in the workplace
Rape
Unfunny gimmick.
It was great, thanks for asking!
i "accidentally" spill my both of my scalding hot mcdonalds coffees on each of them, aiming for their faces of course
>same old same old, watched some bullshit, jerked off to some transgendereds, you know how it is
how 2 smalltalk
wasn't Jim implied to be kind of a loser anyway?
like there's an episode where he explains how he likes to leave parties early and has to come up with some weird ass incel-esque scheme to not seem like a weirdo.
He's working in the same office as everyone else yet likes to pretend he's better than everyone else. Stanley and Phyllis unironically are living better lives where Jim copes that he could do better but isn't because of some temporary circumstances.
It was always weird when he turned down some promotion and explained to the camera that "this is just a job, I don't want it to be a career" especially when he's never really shown to apply elsewhere or improve his skills
>Phyllis
is a forever alone matron until bob marries her
Jim feels like a writer's self-insert. He's what the nerd in some office THINKS he is, a quirky but good-natured dude who is a little awkward around people but always ends up doing the right thing and gets the cute girl to leave Chad and be with him
He's based on Tim Canterbury who is very obviously a loser.
Yeah... ending up with a goblin like that definitely doesn't make you a winner.
He gives that explanation when he already has a baby and is focused on being a good dad/husband.
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>new year's eve I was home by 9
Don't you usually spend new year's with your family anyway after becoming a dad?
A lot of people spend Christmas with their family but new year's with their friends.
>"Omae wa mou shindeiru"
>Jim says "nani?!"
>the face I make towards Dwight as they wheel me out
report to HR for harrassment
It's current year b***h
kill them both and eat their hearts
>I should be thanking you. Really dodged a bullet eh Halpert? Haha no Pam's great.
>Hey Jim, does she still do that thing?
>What thing?
>You know...when you shove it in her ass and yank her hair
I don’t respond, I go to my manager or HR and report him for office bullying, and since this is real life and not a sitcom they actually take the bullying seriously and discipline him, especially since I am a hard and reliable worker and that a lot for the company.
If you think that you are Jim at your work then you are not.
Hey Pam, does Roy know you’re having an emotional affair with Jim? Should I go tell him? He’s right below us downstairs. Huh? What was that? Not so chatty are we now, huh? HUH????
Uh Pam why do you keep looking at the sound guy?
The idea that it's always the same crew is fricking crazy.
Especially when you consider that it went on for what, 8 or 9 years? There's no fricking way they'd invest that much into a project like this with no returns for nearly a decade.
And in-universe PBS only made about 10 episodes
yeah man that was the straw that broke the realism in this show
I mean it was a secure job, a lot of people are content with that.
Pam was a wiener crazed bawd. Absolutely a sex addict. Probably started jerking off at 8. The buttoned-up, doe-eyed innocent ones are always like that.
TFW no Pamela Beesley character card on chub.ai that I can plug into my LLM and RP with to see if your statement is accurate
Maybe aicg can make one for me. I'm too lazy
Just make small talk back with them. If I can tell they’re just talking to me to make fun of me then I continue the conversation as long as possible while continuing to be extra nice to them in order to make them feel guilty about being dicks.
It's Friday.
>*pulls out a gun and starts shooting up the office without saying a word*
Jim's supposed to be the normal office dude who is everybody's friend and looks normal. neither hot or ugly, but Hollywood used to cast attractive actors even for these roles. The result is that he's too out of Jenna Fischer's league. She's cute, but he has chad qualities.
nah he's kinda ugly in a subtle way (ie. hollywood homely not irl ugly)
he has a big flabby nose which is wonky and feminine in its soft curves, not a hard masculine nose
his cheeks are very big and soft and expressive - taking op pic for example see how far they extend when he smiles. he is at risk of storing fat in unbecoming places on his face. a chad has clear definition and doesn't store fat over the vital cheekbone lines.
although he has a decent chin and jaw again due to the fat distrib. he ends up looking a lot less defined and more schlubby, like a 13y.o. face on a grown body
His eyebrows are too big which decreases the already unusually small forehead indicating low IQ and neaderthal qualities
his hair is always a teenage boys idea of "messy chic" just woke up bedhead look but on a grown man its unbecoming. the fact he fails to style his hair properly for any role and always looks like that makes me think that he thinks it's part of his appeal but it seems schlubby
i don't think the girl is hot really but she has pretty big boobs to memory. personally i would definitely need her to get lip fillers if not iplants, those dry lips look like they were pencilled on with her mascara in the morning. if she was y girl she would be getting fillers that's non-negotiable
He has a goofy face, but he's leveled up since The Office.
you can clearly see the pixels of that fricking horrid photoshop. 300 has more realistic fake abs than this.
stay silent and later sue them for quid pro quo sexual harassment in a workplace environment
Everyone here including me is Mose, no one else really comes close
got married to my sweetheart
you?
>good thanks, but now we're all back in the salt mines and there's 5 days until the next one hehe
people genuinely like me at work and I'm bewildered at that fact
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
Hey Jim and Pam, lemme talk to you guys outside for a sec. I don't care that you and Pam spend all day throwing 'frick me' eyes back and forth, that's on you, idgaf. But if you frick with me one more time, I'm going to HR. This isn't a fricking frat house, this isn't a game, you walking shit stains. This is my life and my career and my money you're fricking with. You're affecting my livelyhood with these pranks. Stop heckin pranking me like you're 15, this shit isn't funny, grow up. I want to spend as little time at this soul crushing company as possible, and I'm not gonna do it being harassed by you b***hes. This is not an idle threat, I will be opening an HR case on you and if it continues after that I'll bring litigation down on both of you gays and the company as well. From now on, don't even look at me unless it's about something work related. I'm not here to make friends or flirt with the post wall receptionist, I'm here to collect my paycheck then get the frick outta here as fast as possible. If you get in the way of that, we're gonna have problems. Not personal or physical problems of course, I'm not a child like you, just work and legal troubles.
>t. Grown up in the adult world who wouldn't put up with this homosexual's shit for even a second
HR would take their side because they are personable and you would get a technicality point but everyone around the office would know you are a snitch and would ostracise you if the couple in question were as powerful and dominant in the office ecosystem as Pam and the prankboy are depicted on the show
Have you even worked in an office job before? It's literally just high school for adults with the same social hierarchy games being played out ad infinitum
I've worked in an office for 2 years and everyone just wants to chill and chat shit
His speech is a little cringe but it's not like high school unless you're working with a bunch of moronic women. I'm a social moron but I still get high regards on my performance evaluations regarding my ability to get along with others.
Pretty much this, I dont know what the frick offices people work at, but in my experience people who go to the office especially now that theres the option to work from home, do so to take a holiday from their families/kids and are therefore just content to chat and chill. For most people with families going to the office is actually the relaxing part of their day.
meant for
>HR would take their side because they are personable
Perhaps, if HR was particularity corrupt and really hated me and loved Pam and Jim for some reason. But I'm betting they'll change their tune once I present evidence of Pam and Jim actually fricking with me and wasting company time, like that time they forced me to drive to New York for no reason or put my personal property in the freezer or fricking with my lunch (I dont remember shit from the office I havent seen it in 15 years); I'm sure this video is gonna look great for my lawyer or in front of a judge.
And if everything failed, if HR doesn't do shit, if I have no legal recourse, then guess what. I'm just gonna quit bros. Yeah, that's right. I don't need your dogshit paper sales job. I've been a model employee for years because I actually do my job instead of spending my time trying to bang a roastie secretary. I'll put in my 2 weeks and find another sales job; with my experience, sales positions will be all over me like white on rice. Scranton is a big city; hell maybe I move to Philly or NY, get outta this shithole entirely so I'm not running into Pam and Jim all the time at Wawas or some shit. I've got options. I don't have to put up with this bullshit.
take a shit in the shared bathroom and dont flush
>*I stand there in stone cold steely silence*
>"A-anon?"
>He's unnerved by my demeanor, so much that when I step forward he jumps back a little bit, a beta move Pam clocks in disappointment
>"You know, Jim," I begin with a cool sigh, cracking my neck, "I've seen a lot of your boyish pranks over the years. The hitting on an engaged woman. Going out of your way to make everyone else's job just a little bit harder for your own amusement. But at the end of the day, you're in same place you always were. You haven't advanced in your career or your life. Your pranks are all forgotten by the end of the day. And that's what you'll be. Let me tell you something the others won't tell you because they fear your reprisal: This won't last forever. Your looks will fade, your jokes will run out of steam, and you'll end up bitter and alone, the only joy in your miserable existence being jerking off to the fleeting joy of the memories of your supposed victories, using your own tears as lubricant."
>"I was just-"
>"Your time of talking is over, Jimmy boy. Now you listen. I'm not Dwight. You hit me, I hit you back. Harder. And if you annoy me or inconvenience me, even delay me in my hard work (ever wonder why I'm advancing and you're not?), I'll make your life a living nightmare. I won't do it in the office. I'm smart, unlike you. But every wind that breaks, every passing shadow, you'll perceive in fear, knowing I am waiting, and one day, you won't know the hour, I will spring out to make your life a living nightmare, and the hell I send you to will seem like Heaven. You're nothing, J. You're nobody."
>*By now he's a blubbering wreck, his tears twin rivers to the lake of his pissed pants. He runs away and we can see he also shat himself from fear*
>*I also see a puddle under Pam, of veganal fluid. I caress the side of her cheek, softly, and she closes her eyes, leaning into my finger*
>"You don't have to take this Pam. You're better."
>I leave her with just a taste and go back to work
>What's up, Halpert?
>Still queer?