Honestly would you give her a chance despite knowing she's not only older than you but also a mom?
Honestly would you give her a chance despite knowing she's not only older than you but also a mom?
Honestly would you give her a chance despite knowing she's not only older than you but also a mom?
older, yes
already a mom, no
To be fair, hormone and bodily changes come from motherhood that make them more attractive. Usually wider hips and fat holds on, preferably in the right places but can't win 'em all.
no
You listed two positives and acted like they were negatives
This. Imagine fricking her vegana after it has already been enlarged by another penis and a birth. Literally the dream of every Cinemaphilemrade.
How many times will it have to be shown before it becomes common knowledge that's not how veganas work?
Even most women aren't aware of how their own genitalia works. In gynaecology you won't believe how many women I've met on the job whose first and biggest question to me is: "if I have a baby will my vegana be too wide open to ever have sex again?" That's like their biggest fear about having kids they think they'll never have a "tight" vegana, forget responsibility
>muh responsibility
People on this site literally advocate for Black person behavior of fricking as many women as possible and leaving them to raise their kids alone. But NOW you care about responsibility?
literally who
From ideations that came from my ass, elasticity is Lost with age more than from motherhood.
So yes, +35 women won't be as tight as, say, a 20 year old woman.
Cue the micropenis, virgin and manchild accusations.
It's a tale as old as time.
Tell someone an issue can easily be fixed with exercise, and they choose to sign up for surgeries instead.
How do you even approach your partner to make her do kegels?
Walk up to her and say you need to do kegel exercises
How about calling her your girlfriend instead of this “partner” shit?
I was going as a fits for all.
Girlfriend, wife, frick buddy.
i'm a cowboy kys
>Hey could you do kegels? It would make sex better for both of us.
Wow that was hard.
kegel exercises promote pelvic floor strength which will prevent issues with urinary stress incontinence and potentially defecation issues if the pelvic floor muscle become so weakened it effects rectal sphinter tone, causing leakage or "sensation of incomplete voiding". Also eat more fiber and drink more water you fricks. No wonder you people are constipated.
>t. works in GI, used work in a Urology clinc.
I know, I've read the health life articles.
Such is the power of horny, man.
gonna repeat this to gf word-for-word hope it works
Godspeed anon, and good luck.
suggest both of you do it. if you get good enough you can hold your cum in and not have a refractory period.
>Hey frickmeat, tighten that hole. Here's an exercise you can do to get that shit good for me. If not you better learn to deepthroat because either way I'm cumming.
What kind of surgical procedure tightens the vegana?
Ever hear of the husband stitch?
cosmetic vaginoplasty
private surgeons will convince you to fork up thousands just for them to needlessly mangle a vital organ of yours over an imaginary insecurity they themselves gave you. Plastic surgeons in general are scum
Nah, women are unfrickable and need to be fixed
>t. plastic surgeon
Even Big Pharma is sending their glowies here
No way she's way too desperate and clingy
Moar?
>you HAVE to make her cum David. Do you have any idea what it’s like, just making conversation with that pruney postnatal hag? I don’t care what you want and I don’t care whether you get off to it. If she hasn’t orgasmed herself into a giggly middle-aged puddle by tomorrow morning then I’m feeding you to the rat-king
>3 weeks later Alfur is doing all the cooking and Hilda is sleeping on the couch after Kaisa moved in. David spends all day fricking the two of them, then most nights, Marras show up that have been making demands of him as well.
I have a headcannon that David fricks everyone but he really doesn't want to. He's genuinely happy just doing non sexual things but everyone gets him to frick them and he's not bad at it
Somehow it’s this little gremlin’s fault, it always is
Hilda is pimping out David to all the girls. He's basically a living dildo for them. David doesn't want to let his friend down so he goes along with Hilda and he sees all the girls are happier and seem to like him more after so he doesn't mind either. David is good at fricking but he really just wants to make people happy.
Why wouldn't I?
>implying that's a bad thing
>he's trying to do it for free
Lucky bastards
I want to be Alfur's size and inserted into her stocking
Canon
Why women are so horny? Why women despite Cinemaphileners?
No. Single Mothers are shit. And Hilda is a shit cartoon that is only liked by LOSERS. Even more annoying are the shit heads who spam the coward boy character pretending he's this strong masculine character who has sex with all the women. The show is shit and I'm glad it largely went under the radar with no fanfare. Your show is shit.
I'm hilda's dad, bro
Ya damn skippy I would.
The more important question is if she would give you a chance.
The answer is no.
Incels in here really acting like they ever had a choice fricking lmao.
Even Hilda calls out Johanna on being a friendless loser. She lived out in the middle of nowhere so she probably hasn't been with anybody since the night Hilda was made. She'd probably give you a chance, just make sure to shave your neckbeard before shooting your shot.
hubba hubba!
>Marry a hot ass MILF and get to be Hilda's father and be part of a happy family
Where do I sign?
This must be the thread.
In the comics? I would frick her but never go past that, she seems more preoccupied taking care of her daughter and or I would somehow get in the way of that, would make things worse because let's be real, I would totally molest hilda or she would start ignoring hilda for my own sake because is kinda clear she has some issues multitasking stuff that leads to Hilda having poor parenting, but I also think the moment she realized that she would just boot me for the sake of her daughther.
In the cartoon? Yeah, Johanna is kinda a terrible mother, she loves hilda but she also bareilly kills the kid every other week. The fact hilda used to run around getting in to trouble when she was barely a toddler and johanna never done anything about that really shows she is just kinda alof overall.
She is totally the type of women that you probably could convince in to anything once you got a strong relationship going. Want to have her and hilda at the same time, just be patient. it will happen. In the cartoon of course.
The annoying thing about Johanna in the cartoon is that she's trying to be a good mother and not overly strict and Hilda is an absolute b***h about it.
Even seeing first hand how worried Johanna gets, she doesn't change her behaviour.
That is more true on s1 that follows the comic closer, you can tell she is trying but failing because hilda has a strong personality. In Season 2 some things get reframed and Hilda's adventures become way more of common and more of a mundane thing that kinda always happened. And them you kinda realize "oh, she just doesn't care a whole does she?"
Is definitely not intentional, I just don't the writers realized that while adding more to the world building that Johanna is just kinda a push over that let's you do anything if you pretend to be upset enough from a worried mother that is just trying to make her kid happy. Me, as a total scumbag, noticed right away.
As long as Hilda's dad isn't still around probably. The only issue with dating a single mom is if the baby daddy comes back and picks a fight with you, if he's dead or none existent than there's no problem.
It also wouldn't even be to hard seeing as Johanna is both desperate and lonely, just start talking to her and do her a few favors and she'd cling on to you fast.
>As long as Hilda's dad isn't still around probably.
No worries.
Oedipus complex is disgusting
Is she older than me? I don't even know. How old is she.
Her daughter is currently like 14 so in her early 30s
So, my age. So, yeah. I'd date a woman with a kid.
27
>Bashing zoomers out of nowhere as usual
Kys millenoid
The older I get, the more appealing older women are. Maybe it’s because I don’t really relate with people my own age.
Based
It’d be more Based if I could actually talk to people
Sauce?
Centinal303
Morty?
Any mom who can't control their kid is a hard pass
Fatherless behavior.
She's not wrong
>when your daughter talks back at you so you frick her crush
>when your daughter talks back at you so you frick her.
And then they fricked.
Why is she embarrassed?
She's filled with deep romantic/sexual feelings for her own daughter.
What a Based mother!
Burning desire to get into her daughter's pajamas.
But if you think about it logically, this could also be misguided sexual frustration, she actually wants to have another kid.
Any volunteers?
>wants to get into her daughter’s pajama
>also wants another child
She’s gotta pick one
i mean they live in a world of magic. nothing is stopping hilda from making herself a brother
With her mom?
My first thought was Hilda with a working dick
yesssir.
>related tags: [dick_growth, futanari, incest, magic, mother, daughter, female_only, impregnation, pregnant, urination, mesuiki, schoolgirl_uniform]
I need that sweater
Hilda/Johanna will always be the greatest mother x daughter couple.
>other Mums think she’s a shit parent who raised Hilda badly and say so behind her back; canonically has no friends
>career was a bust and required Hilda to learn soul-stealing magic just to give her any success
>her daughter who lies to her about everything is so bored by her that the instant she makes her first human friends she tells her to frick off and stop clinging
>nearly gets Hilda killed by sending them to The Stone Forest
>Cries when Hilda yells at her
Sometimes I don’t know if Johanna is sexy or just such a loser it becomes adorable
>Sometimes I don’t know if Johanna is sexy or just such a loser it becomes adorable
I think there might be some subconscious feeling that she needs someone, potentially (you), to be the man in her life. Someone to be the bad cop who punishes Hilda when she misbehaves so Johanna can always be the good cop, someone to help support her when she is struggling in her career so she doesn't have to be a wagie, someone to console her when Hilda was missing, etc. The poor woman has a husband-shaped hole in her life. It's kind of ironic, because I think Pearson said he wrote Johanna's and Hilda's relationship to show that they didn't need a 2nd parent.
>the man that stepped up
aka a moron.
Oh well, Hilda is cute even if she's a little prick at times
Still, going through the inconvenience of raising a stranger's child is no joking matter, I admire you.
Hahahahahaha.
According to leaks, Hilda might not even be Johanna's biological daughter so we can both be moronic cucks and raise her together.
Adopted?
Sincerely, I can get behind that if I don't have to deal with a pair of incompetent parents tbh.
I wonder what the frick Pearson thinks of this small factoid. Since, you know, Johanna is just him with a part of tiddies and a wig.
Pearson has his own different self insert in the show
It's extra cute that the show occasionally implies Johanna was a wilderness adventure girl like Hilda when she was young. She can climb rocks better than Hilda can, she can ride Woffs, she can scare away Trolls.
And then flash forward to the present and she's become a home-shut-in terrified that her beautiful child is putting themselves in that same kind of danger. I imagine Hilda will go through the same when she's an adult.
>Sometimes I don’t know if Johanna is sexy or just such a loser it becomes adorable
That's why I like Ana Kirkland. Her being such a loser of a mother in the eyes of others makes her all the more attractive.
She did an alright job.
>First two episodes of S3 start with Hilda nearly dying while in her care
...well maybe not. But she's trying, they don't give you a handbook on parenting you know.
two episodes of S3 start with Hilda nearly dying
Didn't she literally die in season 2 while messing with parallel universes or something of sorts
I’ll let Johanna off on that one because she was out of the house for it.
Could’ve stood to lock the damn door though.
If
is correct in that it is meant to be the 80's middle of nowhere Norway then it makes sense that the door isn't locked, people that live in the middle of nowhere over here (especially in the past) don't bother to lock their doors.
From what I hear it's set in the present
>It's also more or less set in the present day, or an alternative version of the present day, so I don't worry about period outfits or technology or anything.
https://www.tcj.com/i-wanted-a-character-who-was-very-positive-an-interview-with-luke-pearson/
Though that's maybe just the comics. Some think the show is set in the 80s because David and Kaisa use Walkmans instead of ipods.
All kids die nowadays like nothing
Unironically she’s probably the same age as me
"Single mother" is just a pejorative for "2 for 1 deal"
Somehow I doubt she's older than me.
Spoiler for Hilda S3: it’s possible Hilda isn’t Johanna’s bio daughter, she was a fairy child Johanna adopted
Does she have a canonical age
In the upcoming season Hilda is 13/14, so assume Johanna is in her 30s
Dunno what you guys are talking about. My wife is 36. She has a 15 year old daughter. We just had a son of our own this year. Been together for 3 years. Best time of my life
Although it does help that I look good and loving in comparison to the deadbeat guy.
Also being a step father to an older kid isn’t that hard unless they’re real brats. But she’s been pretty good. I don’t think she ever had a real dad before so maybe that made her more receptive.
good on you mah man, wish you the best
you're a manly man anon
>Raising another mans daughter
Based. You thought about it logically.
I wouldn't. I wouldn't be compatible with her and I doubt I may be a proper father figure to Hilda. Maybe I'll help and perhaps babysit Hilda but that's about it.
i feel similar. i wouldn’t want to separate the bond her and hilda have. even if they bicker, hilda seems like she would be extremely jealous and protective of her mom
Yes. Absolutely.
Manlets frick off
every time I see you seethe at "manlets" just makes me think you're 5 foot nil yourself and projecting
He wishes. Timmy Turner would tower over this guy.
Well, you made an attempt at deflecting. But no
Fortunately I only have to deal with shotashitter gnomes on the basis of telling you dipshits to KYS when I run across you
Being the morons pushing this shit in the first place, now that’s a sorry state to be in
So yeah, shoo shoo wee goblins. I want to fug Johanna, not look at little boys
post pics of your height or you've just confirmed you're an insecure manlet projecting
This is a MILF thread nobody wants to hear about any anon's height you creep
any chance you could find the one where hilda is kissing johanna and it says “chuuu” written above. iirc johanna is holding hilda up
Honestly Hilda is too kiddish and too zoomer.
Moomin is the true Hilda, but this is 2020, we need an evolved superior version of Moomin, we need atmospheric cartoons.
We need... Hilda modded into Northern Journey.
Shes actually probably younger than me. Id frick the shit out of her after taking her out to a nice dinner.
>spoiler
well at least those ova will keep her company when Hilda won't
Awful thread
GO TO HELL PEDOS
>liking older women
>pedo
That older woman was a child at some point in her life! So liking her aged-up makes you a pedo!
>tfw there are people who actually believe that
I mean the fact you have porn of a child and shit.
frick off.
Mom breeding.
Go be a gay somewhere else.
>older than you
not older than me. and good age. women are horniest in their 30s.
>also a mom
hard no. tried it, doesn't work.
I’d have trouble not wanting to frick her daughter
Anon, that's a sexy child!
Exactly my problem. I’m fine with an older milf. But I’d she had a sexy daughter then I’m screwed because I’d want both and greed is how you end up with nothing
Don't be so redundant.
>despite
my homie, BECAUSE of
ideas to doodle johanna with david
GO
Like this
Someone had to do it, David couldn’t just let her feel embarassed
Not like he could’ve predicted she’d respond to a peck from him by making out with him on camera like the Demi Moore vid
Doing yoga together.
>dat lower body strength to lift a small child with one leg
achievable natty?
Every time she worries about Hilda, she does ONE squat.
>have cowgirl sex
>start asking her if she knows where hilda is and what she's doing
Change cuckold for something else but keep David telling Hilda he's gonna frick her mom
Requesting David’s leaked teenage design princess-carrying Johanna
Because Johanna is a princess and deserves to be treated as such
Where have I seen this before?
Whatever, they're all pretty much the same.
I got one, johanna and david setting you and this board on fire. Fricking pedogays
your in this hate request too BIATCH!
Johanna bathing David
I'm getting too fricking old. I don't know any of these characters much less where they're from.
Yes, I'd bang her and then her daughter.
I'm probably about the same age as her if not slightly older and I'd love to have Hilda as a stepdaughter so yeah I'd gladly put a ring on it and have Johanna popping out plenty of siblings for Hilda to play with.
Ah shit, they Gon try to convince him to join the axis!!!
Nah, they gon' try to convince him to join their asses.
>Older than you
The wiki says "Early 30s" so I'm probavly older than her.
She's older than me?
What's her canonical age?
The wiki says "Early 30's" so I'm golden, turning 38 in a few weeks.
My 1985 homie.
Uh, yeah, sure, why not?
It's a free country...
Yes, yes I would.
HOT BRITISH MOMMY JOHANNA.
Hope you stop being a homosexual and quit hanging around a thread posting things you explicitly dislike.
homie I'm getting old. How even old is Johanna? At this point I'm probably her age or older now.
She probably smells like peppermint tea, warm white radiators and blankets
>sweet, loving single mom
>young daughter who lands squarely in the intersection of "cute little girl who deserves love and affection" and "precocious brat who needs a spanking"
The ideal waifu/daughteru pair.
I'm at the point where as long as the kid isn't a toddler and the mom and kid aren't batshit crazy, I'd date a milf.
NORTHERN JOURNEY + HILDA = KINO
Stop posting porn with gelbooru and catbox links. Do you think the mods don't know how to use those links to see the rule breaking porn?
>Not work safe image on a safe for work board
Nothing there says you can't post nsfw links since it's not actually board content
Don't be a backseat janny. If the mods had an actual problem they would have nuked the thread already.
It's the only way we're allowed to post porn on work safe boards. Did you not get a response to your janny application or something?
I'd frick her till my dick hurt. And then go further beyond.
Hilda is unusually independent and is a more sensible person than 90% of adult women, so it's no dealbreaker.
Pump and dump only
I can't change her being a mom but I can give her another kid. She can handle it.
>older than you
Bold assumption anon.
Well she's cute and all, but the biggest issue is that you (and if you had any, your children) would be secondary to Hilda.
I mean I would frick her but I ain't about to be a stepdad.
She cute. I haven't seen her show yet. Is she a reoccurring character or is she a background every now and then kind of thing?
She's the main character's mother.
Yes, I'm aware of that but that doesn't really tell how often she shows up. Some times a mom character can show up once early on then barely be used after. Or some times they can be reoccurring characters with their own focus and episodes. What kind is she is what I'm asking.
Oh, definitely the latter.
Episodes usually involve some combination of
>Hilda & supernatural/folklore stuff
>Hilda & human friends
>Hilda & mom
and of the supporting cast, she's the one who shows up the most often and gets the most development.
I think one of the most interesting changes in the show is making Johanna a city mouse. In the comic she's just as reticent about moving to Trolberg as Hilda is and has to be talked into it, in the show it's where she grew up and she knows way more about it than Hilda does (good at climbing fences, knowing all the scenic spots, etc.) In the comic she found the Sparrow Scouts by happenstance, and in the show it's something she has fond memories of and thinks Hilda might enjoy.
I hope we get more of her backstory in S3.
A main character
Nice. That's good to hear. It can be fun when the parents in cartoons get time to be their own characters and do stuff.
Does she have a daughter?
>2 gfs for the price of one
I never watched this was the dad a deadbeat or did he die?
It's never actually mentioned either way.
the milk is even hotter cause her breasts have a shape instead of being round balloons
>older
She isn't
>also a mom
Hard pass.
You could raise her daughter right.
no you couldn't.
You get a MILF to plow and a daughter to raise into an upstanding young woman, what's the issue?
The part where she's not really your daughter.
How well are you acquainted with the works of Vladimir Nabokov?
Pump another one inside her so the cuckery cancels out.
This. Not only you get yourself another woman but there's already an older girl bespoke for your son.
*an older woman
The mum or the daughter?
>inb4 YES
>shilling old used hags on Cinemaphile
~~*you’re*~~ really getting desperate
Single mothers are hot, so yes.
I've been thinking in doing a "Milfthober" next month drawing a different milf in a spooky costume each day. I'm gonna need 31 moms and costume ideas.
For a quick list, you have the MacFarlane moms, Johanna, Connie's ntr queen mom(I always forget her name), the two SEA moms from amphibia and Molly McGee and Marceline's mom/Minerva.
Off the top of my head:
Ursa from ATLA
Pema from LoK
Evangelyne from Wakfu
Ann Possible from Kim Possible
Moon Butterfly from Star vs. the Forces of Evil
Marco's mom from from Star vs. the Forces of Evil
The mom from Pantheon
Senna from Legend of Korra
Rita Loud from Loud House
Priyanka Maheshwaran from Steven Universe
Carol from OK KO
Anne Possible from Kim Possible
Drew Saturday from Secret Saturdays
Recommendations? Ok
Mrs. Boonchuy as the creature from the black lagoon
Camila Noceda as a witch
Rita Loud as a superhero
Eclipsa butterlfy as a wicked Queen
Sharon McGee as a ghost
Ming Lee as a fox
Priyanka Maheswaran as a nurse
Nicole Williams as some rpg character
How about Johanna dressed like Betty Boop as a reference that one Queen of Cinemaphile contest?
A few other ideas:
>Priyanka from Steven Universe as Shantae
>Maria Santiago from The Loud House as Chel
>Kimberly Harris from Duncanville as Parsley
i love this. in the movie hilda knows exactly where to find a gigantic stash of gold probably worth billions and she does nothing to use some of it to rebuild her home in the woods. huge plothole
Hilda doesn't steal because she's a good girl.
the owner (troll king) dies does he not? so it’s technically looting. also, don’t trolls constantly steal from each other? as an honorary troll hilda can now steal
It's a crappy comic book series that respects status quo like no tomorrow. It only adds mature themes like not talking to the homeless or GET A JOB HIPPY DESIGNER for the sake of adding it then it promptly forgets what it wanted to say.
i wouldn’t call it crappy but definitely tired me out with all the ethnic diversity for what’s supposed to be 1980s norway (it’s not 2020s sweden!). also they demoted hilda from potential witch to a “familiar”. aren’t familiars animals/ pets to witches? they literally called hilda frida’s future pet baka
I'm generally not into /ss/ (shotas belong to adult men) but these are really nice works! The clean cartoony artstyle makes the themes more funny and adorable rather than lewd.
Based Roman Catholic enthusiast.
Nice, but no. There was another New Years picture with the daughters in dresses like their moms.
1. Pretty sure she’s young than me.
2. Only if Hilda’s dad is dead, and only if the kid is literally Hilda so I know it won’t be some horrid little shit child.
>Hilda
>Not a horrid little shit child
MILFs teasing me about my little willy
What the hell happened here?
I've been posting a mix of Johannas and not-Johannas. The former are still here and the latter are all gone. Strange.
ahem...
HILDA'S MOM!
HAS GOT IT GOING ON!
moms are the best. theyre loose after kids which means you last forever, and they coddle you and feed you.
None of you would do this. You say you would because it's a cartoon. But if you saw a REAL woman with a REAL child you would turn away in disgust the minute she approached you.
I don't know, man. The desperation here is pretty intense.
People jerk off to grotesquely inhuman caricatures and godawful fan art.
>Infinite androids of a caring woman that will tend to your every need
Give
GIVE
Norwegian
Good God this is a dream
Unless if you’re Hilda and come back home to see your daughter-obsessed-Mum pretending to be you, putting on a falsetto 11-year old voice and smooching a boy you like and stretching your stockings to the size of a tent over her big fat cellulite butt
Hilda’s welcome to join in if she wants but she’ll have to dress as Johanna
Rotten child won't even invite his own mother
Incest is perverted anon
Ain't nothing wrong with that
"Sexy Losers" vibe.
Thanks anon
I had to fill in the text myself because all I could find were the Spanish versions
Did you use the e-h version? That one got recently deleted
link doesn't work
You need an account to assess exhentia.
Sauce?
Ker
Only if the kid is part of the deal
>This mother of 11, this voluptuous goddess of fertility was able to fool everyone around her she was a 15-18 teenager.
Is she too OP? Could any other milf possibly compete with such power? Are there any other milfs who could do the same?
Boy, there sure are a lot of deleted posts in this thread! I wonder why that is!
>Jannies see MILF thread
>In the goddamn OP filename
>Delete all posts of MILFs who aren't Johanna
It ain't rocket science, Reggie. Now let me emulate games that have been out of print for 30 years you skinflint.
Is it just me, or has the moderation been much harsher lately? I can't wait until these new jannies chill out in a month or two so I can go back to hornyposting like normal.
It's easier and more fun for them than actually doing their jobs correctly.
Hard to say for sure. There's been some things that get by for a long time so I don't know if things have changed that much. But for sure this thread has been watched very closely. That those not-Johanna posts got deleted when the thread was clearly a moms one still strikes me as odd. I mean the filename outright said the intent was to make a moms thread.
50% of all the sfw Johanna posts here have been deleted too, don't know if you've noticed. troony jannies mad because their parents stole their paycheck.
Really? I didn't notice that. Haven't refreshed in a while. That is a real mess then.
I love his little face that just screams
>I have no explanation why but those things on her chest are the most amazing things in the world
I used to think ss was a modern thing but then I saw a scene in a an old Dylan Dog comic in which Dylan is a kid a grown woman wanted his boy peter. There's a kiss but no actual sex scene though.
you're really gonna mention that and not also mention a source?
If we wanna go back I suppose we should include stuff like Wonder 3, that inspired a whole lotta western stuff in the 60s
Maybe Adonis from greek myths counts
I have a shitload of Dylan Dog in a closet and I don't remember exactly which one it was. I think it was something about Dylan being haunted by all the people he killed and there were flashbacks of Dylans life.
Night janny strikes again
More of these two when?
the artstyle change ruined it
Need mommy gf
I also want to worship your mature nylon feeta