How big of a turd is this?

How big of a turd is this?

I wanted a proper Napoleon movie but as soon as I saw trailers playing War Pigs I wrote it off.

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's bad.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    one of the worst historical biopics i have seen

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's pretty bad. It's more like someone took a biography of Napoleon and made bullet points out of his life. It doesn't tell an actual story. It's just
    >this happened to Napoleon during the revolution
    >this happened to Napoleon in Egypt
    >this happened to Napoleon in Paris
    >this happened to Napoleon in exile
    Tell me a fricking story, bro.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't bother.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This and the boats line made people laugh out loud in the theater

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Hahaha little man can't satisfy woman
      Why are humans like this

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's accurate to Napoleon, though. He didn't give a shit about women's pleasure, he just fricked them for his own pleasure. Some of his mistresses playfully complained about it to him.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >He’s just like me

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It should have been a series focusing on three major periods of his life.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's the Josephine movie with little bits of Napoleon added in in post. What you see in the trailer is basically it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She didn't even have rotten teeth like in real life. They also didn't make her out to be the massive prostitute that she was

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        She was no more of a prostitute than any other woman during that Era, especially women of high social standing. I was genuinely surprised when I found that out after reading about his life.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because of the amount of people and weapons on this movie, I think the filmmakers essentially had one of the largest standing armies in Europe at that time.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I mean, it was actual russian soldiers right? So that's just nonsense.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      #bringbackbondarchuk

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Film?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Waterloo

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's a good movie with no audience.
    the only people who wanted a Napoleon movie are stans.
    ironically, even this film omits that he wanted to put his brothers on the thrones of Spain and Austria, and set off the Peninsular war in his efforts to make that happen, so it's actually more pro-Napoleon than reality.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's a real toilet clogger.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The thing Hollywood types either don't realize or more likely deliberately misrepresent about history is that a. Blacks weren't there and b. Women didn't matter

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Good battle scenes, everything else is more or less disjointed mess in the same way most biopics trying to portray the almost whole scope of someones live.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Film is pure kino.
    It just triggered all the Napoleon fanboys who wanted to rewrite history where Bonaparte was an anime protagonist genius, constantly manipulating the powers of Europe as opposed to an autistic military genius who simped after a divorced older roastie who was openly cucking him.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Napoleon cheated on her immediately after finding out about her affair, though. He also mind broke her after coming back from Africa and she never cheated on her again, while he continued to have multiple affairs for the ret of their marriage.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was expected for a man in his position to have affairs. The film even mentions this.
        For the wife of the emperor to openly have an affair though? And for him to not immediately divorce her or worse? Yeah, that's the ultimate cuckoldry. When he did eventually divorce her for political reasons, he still demanded that she kept her title as empress.
        Make all the cope you want. He was a simp

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What the frick are you talking about? Napoleon wasn't even close to being the emperor during the period where she was cheating on him. He wasn't even the First Consul yet. He was just a general. By the time he was emperor, she was completely faithful to him. He should have divorced her sooner, though. That I can agree with. And he never should have divorced her when he did, it did nothing for him by that point and seemed to have affected his psyche.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No, its more that Phoenix sucks and the pacing and storyline are moronic

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >military genius

      >when the going gets tough you bail on your army and leave it to die
      >twice

      Nappy doesnt even make a top 10 list on that alone.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >btfo’s the opposition in situations where he should have logically perished continuously in the first italian campaign alone

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He did what he needed to do in Africa, though. That wasn't a failure based on the directives his superiors gave him. He just made up an excuse to leave when he was finished despite staying in command.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          instead of staying in command*

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        (You) baiting shitskin
        You're still at it again, subhuman?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Seething anglo be seething. Many such cases.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Napoleon is pretty much the single most important person to shape the modern world we live in today (yes chuds, more important than Hitler). His life is full of world history chancing moments. Portraying his super eventful life with one movie is always stupid.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Cheese eating surrender monkey detected.
      When you say "modern world" what you actually mean is the handful of European countries he conquered with their lycées and so on. Rest of the would could not give a frick

      T. proud unconquerable Brit

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it was okay, def worth a watch just to see what the fuss is about

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's bad but watchable like a video game

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I often wonder what happened to Sir Ridley.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think his brother's suicide fricked him up.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >suicide
        He was killed.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        i miss him, bros

        ?feature=shared

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    He doesn't even play Napoleon. He's just a depressed low-energy moron, nothing like the real guy. Maybe that was the point of the movie in some version of the script: What if Napoleon achually just stumbled into shit and wasn't a "Great Man"? Last Duel had a similar "what really happened?" idea.
    But if that used to be the theme, it's not interestingly presented in the finished movie.
    Also, everything is viewed through the lens of tired old Anglo propaganda, but that was always a given.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Napoleon wasn't 50 years old during the events, he only saw the cliched strong woman that is required in every movie now once every couple of years but for some reason was a major part and took up valuable screen time, Europe wasn't covered in a blue filter.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Was Cox in the running for Kubrick's discarded Napoleon movie?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Don't think so, he just gets off complaining about stuff

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ah, so just like Scott, he's in the grumpy old man phase of his life.

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this image is more colorful than the entirety of the movie. i think that tells you everything you need to know

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's whatever, Napoleon was a prick irl and so were the british, idk why people cry so much about le historical accuracy, they were all buttholes waging war in the end

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Should have been plying Hogs of War instead. Now that was ludokino.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      BORN TO GRILL / WEBER IS A FRICK / Munch Em All 1999 / I am swine king / 410,757,864,530 COOKED CHOPS

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's Napoleon in a British POV. So he's literally the "bad guy" and they try to ridicule him in every scene.

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    for a supposed popular and charismatic leader, this movie portrayed Napoleon as the saddest, most joyless frick ever

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

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