How did Gimli know about the 'Nervous System'?

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  1. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because Gimli's lines are all comedy relief garbage written by that bearded hack Jackson.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. One of the few things I don't like about films is that made Gimli a bumbling moron to the point Aragorn just looks annoyed he's even there most of the time. In the books he's badass, more so than legolas iirc

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think people who complain about the Jackson trilogy not being faithful enough are generally morons with no sense of perspective, but Gimli really is the one place where those movies seriously stumble and fail. Movie Gimli just isn't 1/5th the character book Gimli is and unlike most other changes there's no real argument that he had to be like this to fit a cinematic structure or anything like that.
        He's pretty much straight up the reverse of his book version whose most defining trait is his sense of dignity.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wrong. Gimli was actually in the neuroscience program at the University of Moria, but got expelled for insensitive comments towards orcs during a drunken tirade

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >tfw you call your lab partner a dumb orcBlack person...

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      humour and romantic love scenes is really what ruined these films. it's an anti-epic and modernist in spirit. lotr was a poetry.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_(genre)

  2. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    they teach that kinda thing in school

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous
  3. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    biology class in dwarf school

  4. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    well it's translated into modern english, duh. He would have said a dwarven word for skull but they wanted to keep it modern.
    "He" is also not a pronoun in Dwarvish.

  5. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    He went to Dwarfward

    *looks at camera*

  6. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    What was the tuition rate for dwarf medical school?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      too damn high

  7. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nice fake sub. He actually said "He's got my axe embedded in this nerd, this is dumb!"

  8. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >who was Pete and what did Boromir know of him?
    >how did Orcs know about a menu?
    >did Theodin have alzheimers?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      He clearly says "For pity's sake"
      Please shitpost more accurately

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        n-no

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Who was Pity? Is she related to Pate?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >tomatoes
      >potatoes
      >oliphaunts
      Tolkien's a hack

  9. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    D&D 5e rules

  10. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Greeks knew about the nervous system like two thousand years ago. In a fantasy setting it's easy to imagine they did the same specifically the elves.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Elves can just use magic to xray inside homies brain and learn about the nourvous system. Some of the elves propably told gimli about the nerves

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Elves can just use magic to xray inside homies brain

        The Greeks knew about the nervous system like two thousand years ago. In a fantasy setting it's easy to imagine they did the same specifically the elves.

        How can this happen? They can see 15 miles away with their naked eye. But nothing about Electromagnetic Radiation.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          wtf that pepe?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          They studied dead people, duh

  11. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I blame Hackson

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      what a merry fellow

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      He does elaborate. He doesn't sing a song about being the oldest:
      >Eh, what? Don’t you know my name yet? That’s the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that’s what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.
      He is what came before and he is what will remain after. The ring is nothing worth his attention.

  12. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Mine axe hath struck the phlegm, and yet moves the limbs, though the beast lives not

  13. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    the 2nd and 3rd movie really went to shit

  14. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how modern "people" think our ancestors were morons. In fact, it's the opposite.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I hate how modern "people" think our ancestors weren't morons. In fact. it's the opposite.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        modern "people" can't survive three days outside of a city.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I remember having this girl at my office hours back in my TA days. She told me she majored in Medieval History. I started sperging out with her and then she outed herself as a dumb Stacy when started mumbling about how people back in those times were just too stupid. She didn’t know about the fall of Rome…

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Anon, women in history fields are there to learn about dumb "intersectional" shit, not actual history.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          homie how can you be in your senior year of a medieval history major and not know about the literal fricking origins of it? These are the people I had to compete with in my undergraduate applications ffs. Insane.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            First of all I highly doubt there's a "medieval history" major because that's a grad level focus. But like I said, they solely focus on women and gays within those societies.

  15. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bro there is literally an island full of gods who can create life and manipulate pure matter just a short boat ride aways I’m pretty sure people can figure out what a nerve is

  16. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    How do Orcs know what a menu is?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      You think Saruman is going to go get his own roast chicken?

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Certainly Sauronman has his own personal assistant to take care of that, not some low level grunt

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Wormtongueman is his cook and a servant

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Wormtongueman is his cook and a servant

          Grimy liarface didn't always live with him, Saurman definitely had some orc bring him food at some point

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Sauronmans tower is clearly a walking distance from the king theodons city. We know this because when the king sent sir wormtongue away, he traveled by foot and was already at sauronmans in the next scene.

            So that means that wormthongue could have easily serve sauronman his menu meal every day

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              He takes a horse, moron.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Fact: Saruman had human servants at Orthanc long before he recruited an orc army

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          [...]
          Grimy liarface didn't always live with him, Saurman definitely had some orc bring him food at some point

          Wormtongueman is his cook and a servant

          [...]
          Grimy liarface didn't always live with him, Saurman definitely had some orc bring him food at some point

          >being this dumb
          Wizards like Saruman and Gandalf don't eat food. They are Maiar. Never do you see them eat food.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Once they take physical form they need to eat and sleep

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              And have sex

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why wouldn't they know what a menu is

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Are there Orc restaurants?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          No but they have have a choice in what they eat, just because they don't order it from a waiter and pay after eating doesn't make it not a menu

          In fact more things are menus to orcs than they are to us
          Like a human female is an orcish rape-menu

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Orc menu
            >1. pain aux asticots
            >chair d'homme

            End of menu

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              >pain aux asticots
              I hate that I googled this and it's a real thing. What the frick, French people?

              • 9 months ago
                Anonymous

                >pain aux asticots
                NTA, but I've tried searching for it and it doesn't really yield much, it seems to be a mix-up of things like French breads and the (fricked-up) Italian "casu marzu" (which *is* real).

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Menu wasnt a thing untill the french revolution

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's a 19th century word.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      They raid human villages and inns.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        So they can read, let alone read human writing?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          The leaders probably do. It's easy to see how it would spread among them.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            We saw like one or two higher level Orcs, absolutely no indication Joe Orc would have any clue.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Orcs are corrupted humans and elves and they do retain some of their original skills and knowledge.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            Aren't orcs mortal? So they'd be born and die quickly without inherited knowledge, same as humans.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      They have Waffle Houses in Mordor

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Even though Orcs are technically white people???

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Well, you see there are no orcish "restaurants" but there are cafeteria-type eating-houses, generally providing a cauldron full of a food to be shared among "patrons." So they would be familiar with the concept of a menu. Certainly orcish menus won't overwhelm you with choices... They're more of an overview of what's available to put in your face. Like a high school cafeteria menu.

      For example:
      >WELCOME TO GLOB-GLAGZ'S CARNARIUM
      >THIS WEEK'S MENU
      >MONDAY: BRAISED HOBBIT WITH SEASONAL ROOT VEGETABLES
      >TUESDAY: LEG OF MAN
      >WEDNESDAY: GENERAL SAURON'S CHICKEN
      >THURSDAY: PULLED ELF SANDWICHES
      >FRIDAY: MAGGOTY BREAD
      >SATURDAY: MAGGOTY BREAD
      >SUNDAY: MAGGOTY BREAD

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        How would they know what a menu is if there's a single cauldron of slop?

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          i think you have to keep in mind that whatever the orc is saying is translated from orcish and then given some poetic license to make it entertaining and convey the general sentiment

          so if the orc says 'meat's back on the menu' it's to convey the whimsical revelry an orc has towards the idea of eating humans/elves as presumably they've run out, and also conveys the presumptuousness and confidence of the orc expecting to win the battle

          also the level of sophistication implied by the term menu is purely part of the poetic license, like imagine if we were subtitling footage of gorillas, and used 'king' to refer to the leader of the pack - that's the subtitlist trying to match the sentiment of the gorilla but unavoidably adding a thin layer of comedy due to the connotation of 'king' with a relatively advanced medieval civilization.

  17. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    there's so many dumb "comedy" scenes in the two towers extended.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      It was cut for a reason. Merry and pippin getting drunk on ent cum was fricking moronic.
      If ent water makes you a giant, why dont everyone drink it and win the war like that?

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        The ents most powerful defence is being so slow and dull people forget they exist

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Be honest. You'd drink Ent jizz to get taller.

  18. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    You know you can see nerves from a corpse, right? They're not invisible.

  19. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >How did Gimli know about the 'Nervous System'?
    Dissecting orcs with his axe.

  20. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    dwarves dig deep into the earth for radiated metals

  21. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I literally watched that last night and wondered that exact thing. I suppose it's possible some high councils of middle earth medicine have performed dissections and experiments over the millenia.
    or it's just some corny comic relief

  22. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I dunno man, why don't you go ask the 10 year old reddit post you stole this from.

  23. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    moron people knew about nervous systems in ancient greece

  24. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >What's this? Goblin Mutant?

    Clearly everyone in LOTR has some knowledge of genetics and medicine. Here in The Hobbit 2, Legolas displays some understanding of genetic aberrations that could arise during breeding.

  25. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Menugays there's a tavern/inn within the first hour of the first movie

  26. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Plenty of Greeks and Romans studied stuff like that. Why wouldn't a knowledgeable Dwarf at higher tech level know?

  27. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's bad writing, they thought it sounded pithy, but really it's just out of place. Nerds are like that, they've just read too much Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett.

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