How different would the plot have been if the writer of the books was a man?
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
How different would the plot have been if the writer of the books was a man?
How different would the plot have been if the writer of the books was a man?
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
|
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Harry would end up with Hermione
Yep. A man knows that boning your best friend's sister is against the code.
Blowies only.
Quidditch would have been a plausible game not some bullshit where nothing else matters if you catch the snitch (which happens every fricking match)
>the quidditch world championship chapter where JK goes out of her way to tell everyone "uh you actually can get the snitch and still lose" but it requires every other player on the team to completely outclass the opposition
I would feel embarrassed writing that shit
The points that the snitch grants aren’t enough for it to ensure a win if one team is a lot better than the other and the match drags on for a long time
Quidditch is not that bad as people make it sound.
Yes, catching the Snitch awards a lot of points, but seeking it renders a single player basically out of the actual match. You can think of a lot of interesting tactics because of that.
>If Team A's seeker is looking for the snitch, Team B's seeker can instead help his teammates with the game, resulting in Team B having a man advantage, and scoring more goals. If they can then score enough points to get out of a seeker loss, Team A's seeker has to stop seeking to prevent a loss.
Are the players allowed to leave their “roles” during the game though?
You have a keeper, regular players, the ones with the bats who try to prevent their teammates getting their heads caved in by the murder balls and the seeker.
There is a strict rule that only the seeker is allowed to touch the snitch, but there is no official rule anywhere about seekers not being allowed to touch the quaffle.
>There is a strict rule that only the seeker is allowed to touch the snitch, but there is no official rule anywhere about seekers not being allowed to touch the quaffle.
Leggo my Eggo
I'm pretty sure seekers aren't even allowed to hold the quaffle ball. And even if they could they would never stop looking for the snitch because they would have to be up 16 FRICKING GOALS to make it worth losing the snitch for and the opposing seeker could just find the snitch at any time.
people actually adapted Quidditch into real life and IIRC they made the snitch only worth 30 points so its still very impactful but doesn't decide the game in 99% of cases
It doesnt say anywhere that seekers arent allowed to hold it. Same with the bat thing, there is even a scene in the movie where one of the Slytherin guys takes the bat from a teammate.
And if a Quidditch game can take 3 months to finish, there is definitely enough time to get a 15 goal advantage if you play with 1 man extra.
Catching the Snitch should've been so unbelievably difficult and rare that only a one-in-a-generation prodigy would be capable of it. And the snitch seeker should have a more active role in the regular game.
That's the only way to fix the snitch thing.
I know 150 points don't automatically get you a win (I think it's a retcon though because in the first editions of the book its stated it's an auto-win) but let's get real you'd have to get stomped so badly to have a score where 150 points don't give you a win automatically.
Also how frustrating must it be that your regular players win but the other team has a good seeker and catches the thing while the rest of his team can't land one goal.
Meanwhile in the books they catch the thing in every fricking game. It's not a sign of talent or extreme luck to catch it given how it's depicted in both books and movies. It really should've been such an incredibly difficult task that they were considering taking out the snitch until super prodigy chosen one Pottah came along (which would also give more credit to his chosen one-ness).
Doesn't catching the snitch mark the game end though?
It did in the early editions of the book, thats why xhe retconned it with the 150 points bs.
I mean it determines when the game ends instead of a timer or point threshold
Its a golden golf ball flying around a 3d football field (european). Unless the weather is shite it shouldn’t be super hard to catch a glimpse of the thing. Catching it is another story though
You're a grown man.
>t. Grown man on the television and films board of a forum created for discussing Japanese cartoons
for starters, snape wouldnt have been such a cuck
Snape would've been the one that killed Harry's mom. It would be the plot twist at the end.
harry would have ended up with cho
It would've been better.
Dunno but these would have been the major changes
>Snape is a masculine father figure teaching Harry instead of the bitter incel cuck he is
>Dumbledore is more Gandalf-y and less wizgay
>Voldemort has an actual intimidating design instead of being a noseless baldie in black robes
>better Harry x Ron dynamics
>Hermione is either a love interest of Harry or completely sidelined
>Quidditch makes sense
>magic is less on-the-nose shiny beams of light fired from a wand and more complex and nuanced
>no moronic pseudo Latin names for spells
it would've been the same but with more "muh powerlevel" homosexualry, some fedora tier logic and more sex
jkr's dumbledore was fine and snape while being a cuck was also a well written character
I never stated Snape was a poorly written character.
Nonetheless he's the perfect beta simp slurping other men's cum (figuratively speaking) that only a woman would write into a book.
If Snape was written by a man he'd be like Fletcher and have a more father-ly reason to help and protect Harry other than
>you smell like your mother's pussyhair, I'll always be there for you ... alwayss
Snape was definitely a poorly written character. A personality like his is unrealistic and would never exist, except for in the female mind.
>Love girl as a child
>She cucks you
>Become powerful wizard
>She has a happy life with Chad
>For some reason, being a powerful wizard and having prostitutes like Narcissa longing for your dick would make a man still be obsessed with his highschool crush
>To the point where he sacrifices his life for hers and Chads seedling
Its moronic.
>having prostitutes like Narcissa longing for your dick
lmao no, there was no hint of that. besides narcissa was extremely loyal to lucius and her family which was obvious in the books.
and it does make sense in the series because snape was clearly abused as a child, experienced no love and his sole purpose after failing to save his only true friend/love interest is being a tool for dumbledore's plans so it fits well with the overall theme of the series
Narcissa gets wet from powerful men. After Lucius got turned into a b***h, its not unthinkable that she would cheat with the next big thing in the dark wizard world.
you didn't read the books you dumb b***h. she shuts up her sister the second she insults her husband and also does it again when harry does the same
> “They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!”
>Malfoy made an angry movement toward Harry, but stumbled over his overlong robe.
>“It’s all right, Draco,” said Narcissa, restraining him with her thin white fingers on his shoulder. “I expect Potter will be reunited with dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.”
the sole reason she respected snape was because he was a "friend" of lucius, still treated him with some sort of respect after voldemort insults him and could also watch over her son
>To the point where he sacrifices his life for hers and Chads seedling
that's what I meant with
>beta simp slurping other men's cum (figuratively speaking)
it's a woman's ultimate fantasy to have a beta male fall in love so desperately to sacrifice himself for her or chad's seed and even fail to reproduce
it's a biological/evolutionary thing that women rationalize as "true unrequited love"
that said, none of his dialogues or mannerism come off as poorly written, and his endgame simping also isn't impossible or far fetched given how some morons literally take their own lives or castrate themselves when women reject them
one guy sliced off his balls and wiener on omegle because a girl rejected him a few years ago
Its actually kino
You clearly never had a true childhood crush then.
i definitely did, but i would never sacrifice myself for her seedling kek
Never had a crush.
Never fell in love.
Never contemplated a relationship.
Never had a gf.
Never approached a woman.
It's better this way
>Never fell in love.
Waifus exist for a reason, anon. 3DPD women don't deserve nor understand love, but you can still fine one if your heart is in the right place.
The only way to have any success with 3DPD is to understand that they are only ever in a committed relationship for the lifestyle that the relationship brings. The moment you stop being able to finance that lifestyle 24/7 or she loses interest in the lifestyle she will leave or do other shit behind your back with all the dudes slipping into her IG DMs. And no I'm not only talking about the Stacies, even 2/10s weighing more than you also think the same now because of social media conditioning. This is not to say that they are evil and that you shouldn't bother, only that you need to have the right mindset if you decide to deal with them and to not think it will last forever just because she gave you a great blowjob once.
And no, you cannot fix her, because she was never broken in the first place, all of the above are just in her nature.
3D women are based.
Get a dog if you want a relationship with somebody that loves you unconditionally.
>somebody that loves you unconditionally.
Only you can love yourself unconditionally.
A hungry dog will eat you all the same.
Maybe a really loyal one will wait until you're dead to eat your remains.
If you expect anything unconditionally from others, you're in for a rude awakening.
Fair.
Though you probably should love yourself conditionally.
I assume you mean you shouldn't indulge in bad habits, but if you truly love yourself unconditionally you'd dig yourself out of them, not destroy yourself. Discipline is true self love, not complacency.
Yes and also you should maintain your self awareness. It's good to realize which parts of yourself are problematic to others and work to overcome them even if it's impossible.
>somebody that loves you unconditionally.
>Only you can love yourself unconditionally.
That is not true. You can have unconditional belief in the higher concepts. Like friendship, camaraderie, honor, duty, self-sacrifice etc. Like love. If you truly believe in the concept of love you're already halfway there. The purest form of love is between a man and his waifu. The perfect union of anima and animus. The balance of the soul. The love for beauty itself.
>You can have unconditional belief in the higher concepts.
...No? You can't. Not at all.
>what is idealism
Really, anon? Strength of belief is only ever constrained by the strength of one's will.
>Idealism
Something conditional.
>Strength of belief is only ever constrained by the strength of one's will.
Belief in something that has been proven to not be real is insanity.
>Something conditional.
Only if you consider
>I will believe in the ideal for as long as I have decided to do so no matter what
To be a "condition". And as I've said, only your own will can factor in that, nothing external, hence "unconditional". Not dependent on any other conditions besides itself.
>Belief in something that has been proven to not be real is insanity.
What is "real"? If it has a form, it is real. Idealistic, incorporeal form? Doesn't matter, it's real as long as there exists a even single mind believing in it. And I certainly exist because cogito, ergo sum.
>And no, you cannot fix her, because she was never broken in the first place, all of the above are just in her nature.
the same can be said for men. you're just too autistic for irl relationships
>get with your childhood crush
>break up after a year
>5 years later is final panel
>10 years later be married and "happy"
there is bo winning except for the EXTREME minority
>no moronic pseudo Latin names for spells
Flickum my bicus moron, that's half the fun.
Hermione would've had G cups minimum and got her tiddies out by the last book.
Would (read)
malfoy wouldve been a hot chick
Harry and Femalfoy teaming up to take down Voldy in book 7 would be kino of the highest order.
Bonus points if they ended up together
Uhm it would still be kino when they are both men too
No!
>malfoy wouldve been a hot chick
It's almost strange he wasn't, even with a woman writing it.
Boy tortured by his shitty aunt and family for years. Yet no revenge is considered or taken.
FEMALE FLICK.
Passive male character stays passive his whole life.
FEMALE STORY.
What are male stories? Achievement of greatness, seeking justice, gaining power, overcoming hardship, leading others to greatness.
So who is HARRY PASSIVE? Who is BARELY PLOT WORTHY? Not a male character.
1. The magic would make sense and couldn't be learned in an afternoon
2. Quidditch would make sense and require teamwork
3. The house point system would make sense and have real incentive / consequence
4. The student - teacher dynamic would make sense and actually be plausible
5. The relationship dynamics would make sense and have a satisfying resolution
6. The characters motivation would make sense and be plausible
7. The magical hierarchy would make sense and be plausible
8. The books wouldn't sell and the films never made
all of these, for better or worse
if you want it to be massively popular you have to keep it as an escapist fantasy for children and teens.
Quidditch is just a woman that doesn't understand sports having to invent a sport where the main character gets to be the main character and of the utter moronation of women when it comes to sports she had to make it so the main character can just win by doing one simple thing.
If a man wrote Harry Potter he would probably be the goalkeeper
>If a man wrote Harry Potter he would probably be the goalkeeper
Who ate all the pies? Yooouuuuuuuu fat bastard.
>CHOOO CHANG CHOOO CHANG
>WHEREVER YOU MAY BE
>YOU EAT DOGS IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY
Autistically detailed worldbuilding rooted in philosophy and religious allegory.
This.
Like the witches of old being proto-terrorists, deals and conspiracies with the Catholic Church, druids vs christian mages, a more sophisticated lore when it comes to how magic came to be in the world, the role of the Muggle government, etc.
Also plenty more schools of magic. There are like 3 or 4 in the whole world with no more than 500 students each.
Nasu is probably a women and she/he is basically the only urban fantasy writer to do that.
just want to add that hermione ending up with ron was not a random decision. theyve been flirting with each other since the literal beginning. it was bound to happen eventually and when it did i was like "and there it is. the writing is actually pretty good for this part of the story." then i see the entire fanbase shouting their stupidity at the fact that she didnt end up with harry and im still facepalming in spirit
i dont mind hermione and ron ending up together, but harry and ginny was just a bit weird. maybe its because the actress for ginny in the movies was terrible and looked ugly.
it was cringe in the books too
made sense for ginny. she has a crush on harry since she was a kid. but it does kind of feel like harry just went with it
less plot contrivances I would imagine
Harrys history with women is kind of grim
>Pajeetette
>A chink who still loves her dead Chad ex-bf
>Some mulatto girl at a cafe
>A ginger coalburner
add a maisie-like FAS girl and a heroin addict and that's pretty much the only options a young british boy has nowadays
live in London can confirm, I need to get out of here
If he had half a brain he could have had a girl who was actually good for him. Someone who stuck with him while Ron and Hermione ran off in a huff.
>Hermione ran off in a huff.
hermione never did that
ron though was a total b***h
Hermione left him several times.
when?
When Ron and Hermione were fighting they both left him alone.
she never abandons him, she is secretive but she sticks with harry / dose her best to keep him safe
You're only thinking of the bit in the deathly hallows. That's not the only time Harry needs and friend and they both frick off and leave him.
again, in half blood prince she literally only "leaves" him because she's pissed off about ron and harry wasn't in danger at that point / needed her. she was the only person who stood by harry in goblet of fire and even when during the firebolt thing in PoA she was, from her pov, just looking out for him
Blah, blah, blah.
Some girls are eternally loyal. Girl's not named "Hermione".
and tf did luna ever do?
help save hermione in the 7th book
checkmate hermionists
so did seamus, she ain't special. if it weren't for hermione most of the characters would've been dead
not luna :^)
Luna was the one who actually understood the shit Harry had been through. Luna was the one who consoled him after Sirius died.
never stick your dick in crazy anon, even harry knew that
She wasn't crazy though. She was right about the fricking nargles all along.
Actually had things in common with Harry. Most loyal girl. First to join DA. Dualed death eaters like a boss.
Ok the mulatto waitress was fine though.
pointy breasts + hard nipples make my falcon rocket take off at full speed if you understand the figures of speech I'm using
Why aren't they being cancelled?
>say they have JK
>old pedo trannies rejoice
>still shill products
>trannies stay quite
???
she cute
but she bong
dream woman and I don't think I'm being facetious
A terrorist wouldn't be walking around 19 years later. Harry wouldn't have done his cuck walk of shame and suicided in the woods.
>Hermione fricks all of Harry's school bullies
>Series ends after 2 books
It would still suck since good worldbuilding is unrelated to your gender.
>good worldbuilding is unrelated to your gender.
Yes. Good worldbuilding however is related to sex. As in, only one sex have the capacity to produce good results in those kinds of pursuits. A male one.
>Nasu is probably a women
Stop with this moronic meme, you absolute Black. I won't let you taint the name of Kinoko Nasu by insinuating that he is a w*man.
> Good worldbuilding however is related to sex.
Nah. Men can write trash worldbuilding as well. While women can write good worldbuilding, at least when they aren't British centrists.
>I won't let you taint the name of Kinoko Nasu by insinuating that he is a w*man.
Come on, anon, it's obvious. Look at his fricking writing. Either he's a women or a insanely feminine male.
They would have guns instead of those homosexual wands
I'm shocked nobody mentioned "Make Draco a girl" yet.
literally the 11th post in the thread
Oh, overlooked that one.
Either way, they are correct. Malfoy as a girl would have been the one thing that changed if the writer was male.
>women are bad at worldbuil-ACK