It's been 13 years and you homosexuals still can't come up with a response that isn't a snarky inside joke or just b***hing. Apologize to Nolan now, midwits
How do you respond to this?
It's been 13 years and you homosexuals still can't come up with a response that isn't a snarky inside joke or just b***hing. Apologize to Nolan now, midwits
I would respond with anything. I would listen. And that's what nobody did.
not funny
>not funny
https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/187804.rss
LOOK HERE, LOOK LISTEN, APPEARING TO OPEN YOUR EARS DOES NOT FRICKING STOP IT SO STOP GIVING ADVICE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
>so you came back to die with your city.
>AFTER YOU
>so, you came back to die with your city.
>now shake that aaaaa** B*TCH and lemme see what you got
Kino.
11 years later & this garbage still remains one of the worst capeshit flicks of all time, barely coherent, absolutely nonsensical, dopey for all the wrong reasons & besides a few good moments & based Cinemaphile memes, it just falls flat on its face. Hard. It also has the looming shadow of James Holmes’ Aurora senseless murders hanging over it like a dark cloud & no amount of $$$ that WB had profited from this mediocrity will be able to erase the bigger horror of real life. If one could choose between innocent families & children that were destroyed by this event or a few laughs caused by an overpaid British manlet with a ridiculous ADR pretending to be an imposing Bane, I would still choose the lives of those poor people over any talentless Hollywood shill.
Nolan should’ve quit when the going was good (back in ‘08) instead of compromising his artistic integrity, becoming a full-time hack & making this cringefest of a shitshow. The release of Rises marked his downfall as a director (the last legit good film he made was Inception in 2010) & ever since it got out, he made nothing but boring, pseudo pretentious slop & stopped trying making something of worth & soul, instead of relying on bait & switch & losing his hearing along the way, subjecting his viewers to barely audible dialogue & sound projection.
As the years go by, Rises should continue to be subjected to further ridicule & embarrassment, time will never be kind to this movie, for there is absolutely nothing overly positive to celebrate with this turd where every negative bit outweighs the positive parts by a mile & the amount of ridiculous shit is so overwhelming that any potential Zoom-Zoom revision or an excuse for this atrocity’s very existence should be instantly discarded, discredited & pronounced DOA.
Frick Nolan for making this Golem of a non-movie & frick WB for rushing this monster into cinemas because their obsession with finances trumps over coming up with a great timeless story.
newbie
>he thinks we actually like the dark knight rises
newbie, you have to go back
>we
Not reading a word of that shit.
I'm not reading one word of that shit. Take your meds and have sex.
Tldr after half a sentence but sorry that you hate life and yourself so much. Seems pretty hard and I'm sure it will get better. Hang in there
Smol pp
Batman wouldn't have used that as a comeback :/
I read every single word thoroughly and carefully with a dictionary and a thesaurus standing by and could not comprehend any of it. Good day
>I'm here to watch this city defeat you.
Zod's snapped neck tier
that was a good scene wdym lol
he's means the Stuckmann rewrites:
id change mine to
>the pit is yours, gothams mine
>consider this the afterlife
>so you came back to die with your city.
>You belong to the pit. Gotham's mine.
Doesn't even make sense
decent
>Doesn't even make sense
how
He already acknowledges that it's Batman's city so it's not a good comeback
Why didn't batman just make a Crane fear chemical dart automatic rifle? If morgan freeman can come up with a flying truck, this shouldn't be hard. Batman wouldn't have to risk putting his life in danger, he could just shoot the darts at the criminals, essentially traumatizing them forever.
>you never even had your car bane
>So you came back to die with your city
>This city will outlive us both *throws batarang*
Underrated
>"So you came back to die with your city"
>Batgod remains silent. Immediately swoops in with a leg kick and then an elbow, dislodging Bane's mask slightly
>Bane's eyes gets big, sweating
>Bane throws a left hook which Batchad quickly catches
>"You asked why I came back. It was for Talia"
>Bane's eyes grow even wider
>"How did you..."
>Batman smirks and dodges Bane's flurry of punches with ease
>"I fricked Talia. Yes that’s right, the little girl who was the light of your life, who you were permanently maimed in a prison fight defending and saving, that special ray of sunshine of yours, she showed up at my party trying to meet me, and she asked me to frick her, so I did. I think you were in some stock market tower threatening a CO at the time, she was licking my fricking balls man."
>Bane's completely enraged and his punches increase with speed and frequency as the battle gets dirtier
>Batman quickly counters again, further dislodging Bane's mask
>"I fricked her in the pussy and then in the mouth, she had the time of her life getting railed every which why by me, shit was honestly disgusting."
>"It wasn't hard to figure out. I knew you couldn't possibly be the child of the pit. Not with the way you're fighting"
>Batman swoops from above, kicking Bane through shattering glass
>"I am vengeance"
>Batgod strikes Bane again. Bane is completely disoriented
>"I am the night"
>Batgod holds bane by the collar and extends his right arm
>"I am.. BATMAN"
>Bane, now wide eyed and fearful looks at Batgod, helpless. Batgod's final punch sends Bane flying and unconscious
kino
Holy kino
>no, i came back to stop you
>it doesn’t matter if you stop me. It never did. What matters is our plan.
People responding to Bane, when OP clearly asked how you would respond to Batman.
Only this anon did it right.
Reminder that this movie is still better than Batman Begins
no it isn't
No I came to bail out the banks FRICK OCCUPY GOTHAM
>for you
we call that set up and pay off
Ouh? Nandato? Ketcho gottskayo; Bane-kun. KAKATE KOI!!!
imagine if either one of them had a gun
>NOOOOO!!!! GOD KNOWS I WANT TO KILL YOU; BUT YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHO I AM!!!! THIS CITY, REJECTED YOU. IT. BEAT YOU. IIIIIII!!!!! BEAT YOU!!!!!!
>No. I came back to stop ligma.
>>So you came back to die with your city.
>>[unzips]
>>[Bane stares.]
>>I know it's big, but I didn't take it out for air.
>I just came here to frick your wifes ass Marty
DISH DISH WASHER WASHER DISH DISH WASHER WASHER
?feature=shared
>DISH DISH WASH WASH DISH DISH WASH WASH DISH DISH WASH WASH
2 seconds in chat gpt
Certainly, here are some alternative responses Batman could have given:
1. "No, I came back to make sure my city lives on."
2. "I returned to save my city, not to perish in it."
3. "Dying isn't part of the plan. Saving it is."
4. "I'm here to give this city a fighting chance."
5. "I'm back to give Gotham a future, not a eulogy."
6. "Death isn't what I do best. Saving lives is."
7. "I'm here to prove that Gotham's story isn't over."
8. "The city needs its guardian, alive and fighting."
9. "This city deserves a future, not its demise."
10. "I'm here to ensure Gotham's survival, not its demise."
11. "Dying's easy. Saving Gotham? That's the challenge."
12. "I return to preserve hope, not to face defeat."
13. "The only way I'll leave is with Gotham's safety ensured."
14. "Death's not in my playbook. Protecting this city is."
15. "I came back to fight for Gotham's rebirth, not its end."
16. "Dying isn't what drives me. Protecting Gotham does."
17. "My purpose here is to ensure Gotham's tomorrow."
18. "I'm not here for a final act. I'm here for a new beginning."
19. "I'm back to prove that Gotham's spirit can't be extinguished."
20. "My job isn't done until Gotham's safe from its threats."
Batman's responses often revolve around his determination to save Gotham, emphasizing his commitment to protecting the city rather than succumbing to its dangers.
Absolutely, here's a lighter take on Batman's responses:
1. "Nah, I just missed the bad coffee and worse villains."
2. "I came for the pizza. Crime-fighting is a side gig."
3. "I'm back for Gotham's karaoke nights, not its farewell party."
4. "I heard the batsignal was lonely without me."
5. "I'm not here to die; I've got too many cool gadgets to try out."
6. "I'm here to crash this 'end-of-Gotham' party."
7. "I left my cape here last time. Had to swing by and grab it."
8. "Dying's not my style. Dramatic exits, however..."
9. "I'm back because Gotham needs a fashion upgrade."
10. "I came back to remind Gotham that capes are still in fashion."
11. "I just can't resist a good villain monologue."
12. "Gotham's got the best sunsets for brooding, you know?"
13. "Death and I aren't on speaking terms, sorry."
14. "I'm back to ensure Alfred's cookies don't go to waste."
15. "Gotham's villains need a refresher course in 'How Not to Get Caught.'"
16. "I heard the crime rate missed me. Can't disappoint."
17. "I'm here for the Gotham City Comedy Festival. Crime-fighting is the warm-up act."
18. "Dying's for amateurs. I'm the Dark Knight, not the Dull Knight."
19. "Gotham's fate's too important for a 'fade to black' ending."
20. "I'm back because Gotham's crime charts need a new low."
Batman's wit can sometimes lighten the mood, even in the face of serious threats to Gotham City.
In the world of Gotham, with shadows to fight,
Batman swoops in to set things right.
"I'm not here to expire, to say goodbye,
I'm here to ensure Gotham continues to fly!
No dying for me, nope, not a chance,
I'm here to dance in the moonlight's trance.
For Gotham needs hope, it needs a bright spark,
I'm back to protect it, even in the dark!
Death's not the plan, it's not in my rhyme,
I'm here to keep Gotham's beat in time.
To save the day, to foil the ploy,
Gotham's my city, my source of joy!"
In a Seussian way, Batman would say,
"I'm here to save Gotham, come what may!"
Absolutely! Here are some quippy, Marvel-style responses Batman might have given to Bane:
1. "Nah, I prefer the 'live heroically, save the city' approach."
2. "I'm back, but dying's not exactly my signature move."
3. "I'm more of a 'save the day and get takeout' kind of guy."
4. "Dying's not on my Gotham City bucket list, sorry."
5. "I'm here to ensure Gotham's sequel, not its tragic ending."
6. "I'll leave the dying dramatics to the villains, thanks."
7. "Death by city? Not the hero gig I signed up for."
8. "Gotham's story needs a plot twist, not a tragic finale."
9. "Dying's not the comeback story Gotham deserves."
10. "I've got plans for Gotham, and they don't include a funeral."
11. "I'm back for the hero's ending, not the tragic finale."
12. "Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer saving cities, not dying in them."
13. "Dying's not part of my Gotham City reunion tour."
14. "I'm allergic to tragic endings, especially my own."
15. "I'm more about saving Gotham than sharing its fate, Bane."
16. "Sorry, Bane, but dying's not my idea of a homecoming party."
17. "Gotham needs a hero, not another statistic."
18. "I'm here to change Gotham's narrative, not be a tragic footnote."
19. "Let's skip the 'dying hero' scene, shall we?"
20. "I'm the comeback kid, not the go-out-with-a-bang guy, Bane."
>Death and I aren't on speaking terms
Kino. Without the "sorry", I can picture Conroy saying this in his one liners for the arkham games
>Dying isn't part of the plan.
Payoff from CIA scene
>Dying's easy. Saving Gotham? That's the challenge
Marvel tier
>I'm back to give Gotham a future, not a eulogy.
>I'm back to prove that Gotham's spirit can't be extinguished
Probably the best ones
>20 years in the can. I wanted a crime free Gotham. So I compromised. I got my back broken instead.
>Let me tell you a couple of three things: Forget Gordon. Forget Dent. Forget my kid butler Alfred.
No, you bald limp dicked homosexual. I came for this
>pulls out a glock and shoots him in the head
>If I took that off would you die?
(Beat starts)
Batman:
Dark Knight in the shadows, Gotham's true defender,
Bane, your reign of terror, I'll make it surrender.
Rising from the pit, like a phoenix in flight,
Gotham's dark knight, putting wrongs to right.
Bane:
Broken, Batman, in body and in soul,
Gotham's reckoning, you've lost control.
I'll break your spirit, crush your every hope,
In the darkness, Bane's the one who'll cope.
(Batman drops the mic, walks away)
(Verse 1)
Yo, Bane, you think I'm here to die in this city's wreck?
Nah, I'm back to resurrect, not to hit eject.
You broke my back, threw me in a pit with the wild,
But I rose from that darkness, got my strength compiled.
Locked in a pit with deviants, yeah, that was the play,
But I fought my way back, stronger every day.
You thought you had me down, thought you saw the last of me,
But I'm back on my feet, Gotham's guardian, you see.
(Chorus)
Locked in a pit with your deviant crew,
But I'm back, stronger, there's nothing you can do.
Bane, you can't break what's unbreakable,
Gotham's fate, it's unmistakable.
(Verse 2)
You tried to bury me deep, but I clawed through the dirt,
Found my purpose, my city, yeah, that's my worth.
Your twisted games, they didn't leave me scarred,
They fueled my fire, made me battle-hard.
I'm not here for the end, I'm here for the fight,
To bring hope, save lives, that's my might.
You thought Gotham'd be my final resting place,
But I'm back, Bane, in your face, face to face.
(Chorus)
Locked in a pit with your deviant crew,
But I'm back, stronger, there's nothing you can do.
Bane, you can't break what's unbreakable,
Gotham's fate, it's unmistakable.
(Bridge)
I don't rap about dying with the city, that's absurd,
I'm here to defend, protect, that's my word.
Your games, your traps, couldn't keep me contained,
Now I'm back, Bane, Gotham's hero regained.
(Outro)
So, Bane, you see, I'm not here to comply,
I'm Gotham's symbol, I'm its eternal ally.
You threw me down, thought I'd never rise,
But here I stand, Bane, to your surprise.
Shorter, but also kino:
(Verse 1)
Bane, you thought I'd return just to take a fall?
Nah, I'm here to rewrite Gotham's call.
You broke my spine, left me in that pit's domain,
But from that dark place, I gained my terrain.
From the League's shadows to that pit's abyss,
Rising from despair, that's what heroism is.
You had your plan, thought you'd see me crack,
But I'm back, Bane, breaking free from that trap.
(Chorus)
From pit to the streets, this hero's on cue,
Gotham's fate, I'll continue to pursue.
Bane, you can't break what's unbreakable,
I'm back, Gotham's guardian, unmistakable.
(Verse 2)
From Joker's chaos to your twisted fight,
Gotham's protector, I'll keep the light.
You tried to break me, tried to make me fall,
But here I stand, Bane, defying it all.
From Harvey's madness to the present's scene,
I'll shield this city, that's my routine.
No dying with the city, that's not my style,
I'm here to save lives, go that extra mile.
(Outro)
So, Bane, you see, I won't bow to comply,
I'm the symbol Gotham needs, I won't say goodbye.
From past upheaval to your calculated scheme,
I'm back, Bane, Gotham's hero redeemed.
>Some motherfrickers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
Sorry, that was a pretty autistic response. Oh btw, I went to that prison you were raised in. You know, the hell hole that you said was so dark that it gave you the ability to fight better in the dark than even me, The Dark Knight? Turns out there's a surprising amount of light there hey? Natural light, no less. And everybody was so nice, they care for the injured, they'll even chant for you when you try and escape. Also you didn't mention the safety rope that's installed so you can try and escape without getting hurt, how good is they hey? It's really not as a bad as you made it out to be. They all send their regards btw.
>pulls out a sawed-off shutgun and blasts Bane away
>no i came back to stop you
>for you