>My Granddaughter, I have brought you here to kill me and when you do, I will take over your body. muahaha! >No! You're evil, I won't work with you! I'll kill you instead! Take this! HYAH! >*kills Sheev* >Sheev begins his new life as a cute young woman
This happens after palpatine literally force lightninged the whole fricking fleet, targeting ONLY the rebel ships. So how come he didn't use his immense masterful control to attack her from all angles instead of head on? When I watched this I laughed out loud in a quiet and stunned theater. And what truly baffles me is people still defend this dumpster fire
Basically spot on >go to space bazaar in search of maguffin #1 that has engravings that will point you to maguffin #2 but threepeeio can’t translate it without a factory reset so they have a heartfelt moment but lmao it’s fine R2 has a backup so now they go to Endor to have possibly the dumbest scene put to film then they do a shitty re-enactment of the Dagobah vision scene from ESB and now they have the maguffin so they can go to the spooky lightning planet where Palps conjured six million death stars by being angry and now they have a shitty re-enactment of the climax from ROTJ and trust me this time Palpatine is dead for real also for some reason they brought horses to a space fight please don’t ask questions
Got all that?
>Rey's grandfather
Except not really. She's actually the daughter of his clone, technically making her his niece. The writers were just too moronic to make sense of familial association.
Palpatine: Did you ever hear the Good News of Jesus the Christ?
Anakin: No?
Palpatine: I thought not. It's not a story the Sanhedrin would tell you. It's a story of redemption. Jesus of Nazareth was the son of God, so pious and so selfless that he could use his divine powers to influence reality to create miracles… He had such a knowledge of godliness, he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.
Anakin: He could actually save people from death?
Palpatine: The unconditional love of the Savior is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
Anakin: What happened to him?
Palpatine: He became so holy… the only thing he cared to do was kill death itself, which eventually, of course, he did. Fortunately, he gave his life to save you and I from eternal hellfire, then the Hebrews crucified him. Ironic. He came to save others from death, and they rebuked him.
Anakin: Is it possible to learn of eternal salvation?
Power of love, chud
Mace tried it with one saber and lost
Turns out you need two
The second is to block that little shit a akin from cutting off your hand
Did yall frickin miss the part where shes a palpatine and can use lightning too?
He was doing fine til Anakin cut his arm off but Palpy was throwin the fight anyway
It doesn't.
Disney had no plan for their trilogy.
how did palpatine return?
somehow
>how did palpatine return?
Through a Fortnight tie-in.
How?
SOME-how, that's how.
BRAVO J J ABRAMS
watch The Prestige
Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew
The real palapatine was the pals we made along the way
All the Jedi is a reference to all the frens she made along the way. She is being supported by her comrades.
but seriously, what were they thinking?
>you’re kidding, right? You want me to just-
>*sigh*
>*looks up at the ceiling*
>I just had to sign on for this
they're not actual people, they're embodiments of their chosen side forced to duke it out due to the natural imbalance transgressing the universe
no I did not watch it
you put more thought into it than disney did
literally would have justified
>My Granddaughter, I have brought you here to kill me and when you do, I will take over your body. muahaha!
>No! You're evil, I won't work with you! I'll kill you instead! Take this! HYAH!
>*kills Sheev*
>Sheev begins his new life as a cute young woman
Was Sheev always gay?
Did he always identify as a lady?
I am Jedidiah!
And I am Sisyphus!
This happens after palpatine literally force lightninged the whole fricking fleet, targeting ONLY the rebel ships. So how come he didn't use his immense masterful control to attack her from all angles instead of head on? When I watched this I laughed out loud in a quiet and stunned theater. And what truly baffles me is people still defend this dumpster fire
tfw 99% leaks were true
how come doomwiener hasn't been right since?
You're telling me all Mace had to do was use TWO sabers to kill him?
I've never seen episode IX. How accurate is this?
Basically spot on
>go to space bazaar in search of maguffin #1 that has engravings that will point you to maguffin #2 but threepeeio can’t translate it without a factory reset so they have a heartfelt moment but lmao it’s fine R2 has a backup so now they go to Endor to have possibly the dumbest scene put to film then they do a shitty re-enactment of the Dagobah vision scene from ESB and now they have the maguffin so they can go to the spooky lightning planet where Palps conjured six million death stars by being angry and now they have a shitty re-enactment of the climax from ROTJ and trust me this time Palpatine is dead for real also for some reason they brought horses to a space fight please don’t ask questions
Got all that?
CyberDrax got cut from the movie. Some details are wrong (like Rey shooting the lightning), but otherwise it's pretty much the entire movie.
How related were her and Ben?
If Palpatine is Anakin's dad and Rey's grandfather, then Rey and Ben Swolo are 1st cousins once removed.
>Rey's grandfather
Except not really. She's actually the daughter of his clone, technically making her his niece. The writers were just too moronic to make sense of familial association.
No, she's the daughter of his second son. So his granddaughter. Sheev has lots of rape babies throughout the galaxy
This sounds like Rey just desperately tried to come you with a come back.
This isn't cannon because it wasn't written by George Lucas.
Does that mean Empire Strikes Back isn't canon neither?
The Force is Female, chuddie. Get used to it.
Did they explain how the lightsaber was recovered?
It was recovered by the je-MAH DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
For the record, RLM ruined Star Wars and Indiana Jones forever.
Palpatine: Did you ever hear the Good News of Jesus the Christ?
Anakin: No?
Palpatine: I thought not. It's not a story the Sanhedrin would tell you. It's a story of redemption. Jesus of Nazareth was the son of God, so pious and so selfless that he could use his divine powers to influence reality to create miracles… He had such a knowledge of godliness, he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.
Anakin: He could actually save people from death?
Palpatine: The unconditional love of the Savior is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
Anakin: What happened to him?
Palpatine: He became so holy… the only thing he cared to do was kill death itself, which eventually, of course, he did. Fortunately, he gave his life to save you and I from eternal hellfire, then the Hebrews crucified him. Ironic. He came to save others from death, and they rebuked him.
Anakin: Is it possible to learn of eternal salvation?
Palpatine: Not from a rabbi.
>"Tis the season, then.
>HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHO
accurate
but Jesus doesn't loves me back even though i try my best
Why didn't sheev just aim the lightning at her legs so she couldn'tblock it?