Kingdom of Heaven is a shit movie made for modern atheists and muslims. It's stupidly ahistorical for no reason, except to satisfy Riddley Scott's fedora tipping.
No, it and the Last Duel were revisionist and subversive onions media that took real history and raped it for the sake of decadent ideologies. The only thing kino about it was Baldwin IV but he was portrayed as too lenient on the israelites and Muslims which was my issue who of course are not stated to be anything but poor victims who dindu nuthin even though Muslims being savages kick-started the crusades.
Is Kingdom of Heaven worth watching and if so does it have to be the directors cut? That thing is 3 hours and 15 mins long. Can't find a good 2160p HDR of it either
Can't be arsed with some standard 2005 Ridley film if it's not worth seeking out
>Is Kingdom of Heaven worth watching and if so does it have to be the directors cut?
Yes and yes.
Theatrical cut is a mess of a film comparatively. Director's cut is historical epic kino.
Watch it, and yes the director's cut.
Orlando Bloom drags it down but everything else is great.
triple yes. That settles it then. Added to the list
>Is Kingdom of Heaven worth watching and if so does it have to be the directors cut?
Yes and yes.
Theatrical cut is a mess of a film comparatively. Director's cut is historical epic kino.
Ridley Scott is way past his prime. Expecting old guys to still produce good art is almost as unreasonable as expecting an old athlete to still be competitive.
How can you morons ever understand that your love of grainy old pictures isn't universally agreed upon?
Modern films aren't graded like they are just to piss you off. They're graded like that because audiences prefer a cleaner "more modern" image.
You're literally moronic.
If you show a trailer for Barry Lyndon to a room full of zoomers, maybe one or two of them will be interested in seeing that film.
You show the trailer from Napoleon to the same room, and most of them will be interested (this interest might fade by the time the film comes out but separate issue).
And even from a tech standpoint, that image you've posted is heavily compressed and grainy. You can see the film looks great underneath, but that pic is doing it no favours.
7 months ago
Anonymous
of course, zoomers, the target audience for the historical 3 hour long movie, they love Barry Lyndon and Zulu after all
7 months ago
Anonymous
>films should be targeted at contrarian racists who spend all day shitposting on Cinemaphile.org
its the main focus of the movie lol
you think there can be a movie about napoleon in current Hollywood without shoehorning in as much girl power as possible?
Joaquin will carry it. Everybody thought The Joker is going to be the worst shit imaginable. Then it came out and this entire board sucked its dick, alongside the normalgays.
>give France well over a century to make as many Napoleon epics as they can muster >every single one is either trash or forgettable >Brit makes a single Napoleon epic >instantly becomes one of the most anticipated films and permeates pop culture before it's even released
Are you guys even trying?
becomes one of the most anticipated films and permeates pop culture before it's even released
I feel like you are a little bit overblowing the hype for this movie for the sake of making the frog seethe.
They will be lucky to break even.
I've seen Napoleon references go up like 1000% in instagram jokes since the trailer dropped.
becomes one of the most anticipated films and permeates pop culture before it's even released
I feel like you are a little bit overblowing the hype for this movie for the sake of making the frog seethe.
They will be lucky to break even.
Ehh. I think it will do better than you think. It won't break a billy but I think $600m is well within likelihood and that's before it releases on streaming.
Gance's Napoleon film is shit and only the most pretentious pseuds imaginable say otherwise. >nah bro, this silent film that was made in a format that can't be replicated on modern tvs/screens which runs for 6 hours and only covers the first third of Napoleon's life is the REAL kino
Reminder: the film was so bad that it motivated Kubrick to want to make a Napoleon biopic just so that audiences had something good to watch.
I honestly expect this to be Ridley's first great film in over decade.
It will be historically inaccurate and have some dumb moments. But the music, cinematography and scale will be incredible. Joaquin will give an amazing performance. And the battle scenes will make up the majority of the film and are what Ridley has always done consistently well. And then Gladiator 2 will be a kino mess of a film
The script was focused on Josephine and Napoleon's tumultuous relationship, while being a biopic of his life and having 6 large battle scenes.
The work print was 4.5 hours. They cut 2 hours of Josephine's scenes to get the theatrical cut.
I'm not making this up. So I'm optimistic.
>The script was focused on Josephine and Napoleon's tumultuous relationship, while being a biopic of his life and having 6 large battle scenes.
Literally the most boring and moronic part of Napoleon's career. What is Riddley even thinking of this? I don't think even foids want to watch about Napoleon's relationship with Josephine considering they cast a 50 years old vegan who looks like he is on death's door?
Like I said, the majority of footage left on the cutting room flaw were Josephine scenes.
My theory is that the studio wanted it to be female-empowering before funding it, so Ridley purposely had the writer add a bunch of Josephine scenes as an afterthought that could be easily cut when the film was inevitably too long.
The execs ask for one thing at a pitch meeting. They ask for something entirely different when it comes to the theatrical release. As long as the theatrical cut is entertaining, I don't think they give a shit whose scenes were cut.
I will watch it to see him on the big screen. But my hopes are not high lmfao. Show me that feminist wife's tale, give me a few shots of Lannes and let me die
>Even if it's good, it still won't be as grand as Waterloo.
obligatory
Not that I have any intertest in watching the other three hours of that film, I just like the squares
No shit. The studio doesn't have access to a large piece of land that has been modified to be a special-made mock battlefield with tons of prepared practical effects explosions, smoke, real 19th century cannons as props, nor thousands of military personnel, each with their own period-accurate uniform according to their rank, who got the time off duty to actually play extras in this movie, many of whom are also skilled at stunt-falling off a horse, and the studio isn't worried about horses getting injured and shit when they fall down.
>I am the first to admit when I have made a mistake >I simply never do
into >I made one mistake in my life >I should have burned Berlin
But did he actually say either of those things?
I liked they trailer but they're doing the whole "accskktyusuaalllly this man who did a thing was really controlled by women and women did everything" thing and ima cringin'
This, it’s a back door movie about his wife and how she was the one who actually did all the strategic planning and empire building
Frick Didley Squat, I don’t even care if Gladiator is kino anymore
Saw the trailer in theaters. Napoleon crawling on his knees simping while Joséphine says he's nothing without her. Finally a strong powerful woman in one of these historical biopics. Behind every successful man there is a woman much smarter than him.
Napoleon was literally a simp to Josephine though. Like he was out sweating his butt off in Egypt while she was screwing literally anyone she could find. And Napoleon would stick his fingers in his ears and scream if anyone tried to tell him.
Then he'd pick a fight with her and try and frick other women in a blatant way to make her jealous before confessing his love to her again and begging her not to leave him.
That's actually accurate though, Napoleon was a massive pathetic simp for Josephine. >Since I left you, I have been constantly depressed. My happiness is to be near you. Incessantly I live over in my memory your caresses, your tears, your affectionate solicitude. The charms of the incomparable Josephine kindle continually a burning and a glowing flame in my heart. When, free from all solicitude, all harassing care, shall I be able to pass all my time with you, having only to love you, and to think only of the happiness of so saying, and of proving it to you? I will send you your horse, but I hope you will soon join me. I thought that I loved you months ago, but since my separation from you I feel that I love you a thousand fold more. Each day since I knew you, have I adored you yet more and more. This proved the maxim of Bruyere, that "love comes all of a sudden," to be false. Everything in nature has its own course, and different degrees of growth.
https://www.pbs.org/empires/napoleon/n_josephine/emperor/page_1.html
>I write you, me beloved one, very often, and you write very little. You are wicked and naughty, very naughty, as much as you are fickle. It is unfaithful so to deceive a poor husband, a tender lover! Ought he to lose all his enjoyments because he is so far away, borne down with toil, fatigue, and hardship? Without his Josephine, without the assurance of her love, what is left him upon earth? What can he do?
I was about to get mad at this but then I remembered how everything is fake in real time now, nevermind over the course of history, some israelite probably made all this shit up to disgrace him.
>just assume that everything that makes you question your beliefs is fake news created by ~~*them*~~ to make you feel bad
That's one strategy through life I guess
>question my beliefs
my beliefs are not dependent upon the historical accuracy of Napoleon
if you think our history is accurate, lol. lol I said. Possibly even lmao.
>I don’t love you anymore; on the contrary, I detest you. You are a vile, mean, beastly bawd. You don’t write to me at all; you don’t love your husband; you know how happy your letters make him, and you don’t write him six lines of nonsense…
>Soon, I hope, I will be holding you in my arms; then I will cover you with a million hot kisses, burning like the equator.
How is it that the most realistic portrayal of Napoleon is still Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? How were they able to get it so right when everyone else gets it so wrong?
Napoleons a fascinating guy. He deserves a better, more accurate and less 'epic' film adaptation, with one of our biggest hacks at the helm
Already in the trailer there are awful alarm bells: >perpetuating the Whiff of grapeshot myth >joaquin older than Boney was even at his death >Josephine actress YOUNGER than Boney >Boney depicted as brooding mastermind instead of awkward but oddly charismatic autist
>Boney depicted as brooding mastermind
Well it's made by an Englishman, what do you expect? That is how Napoleon has always been characterized in England, it's how Napoleonic history is taught to English students. Napoleon, the architect of Europe's doom, Napoleon the egomaniacal schemer, Napoleon the evil genius.
>Married to one of the most powerful men in the world who lavishes you in praise and riches >Cuck him constantly with every 10 incher that comes across your path >He keeps taking you back and idolizing you
No wonder women hold Napoleon and Josephine up as one of the greatest love stories in history.
>Ridley Scott
>BUT it's not sci-fi
I genuinely don't know, he might actually pull this one off
Kingdom of Heaven was kino
no
Kingdom of Heaven is a shit movie made for modern atheists and muslims. It's stupidly ahistorical for no reason, except to satisfy Riddley Scott's fedora tipping.
Incredibly
No, it and the Last Duel were revisionist and subversive onions media that took real history and raped it for the sake of decadent ideologies. The only thing kino about it was Baldwin IV but he was portrayed as too lenient on the israelites and Muslims which was my issue who of course are not stated to be anything but poor victims who dindu nuthin even though Muslims being savages kick-started the crusades.
Garbage movie second time I watched it.
Is Kingdom of Heaven worth watching and if so does it have to be the directors cut? That thing is 3 hours and 15 mins long. Can't find a good 2160p HDR of it either
Can't be arsed with some standard 2005 Ridley film if it's not worth seeking out
I enjoyed it. It’s an entertaining movie.
triple yes. That settles it then. Added to the list
>Is Kingdom of Heaven worth watching and if so does it have to be the directors cut?
Yes and yes.
Theatrical cut is a mess of a film comparatively. Director's cut is historical epic kino.
Watch it, and yes the director's cut.
Orlando Bloom drags it down but everything else is great.
Ridley Scott is way past his prime. Expecting old guys to still produce good art is almost as unreasonable as expecting an old athlete to still be competitive.
His prime was in the 1980s. Plebley Scott is an embarrassment in 2023
i like how the poster looks like a painting
>"My dream.... is a French Republic" - Napoleon 2023
>at his coronation speech
>Sir Ridley
>Joakino
I think we're in good hands tbh
Remember that god awful Columbus movie Ridley made that was so full of historical inaccuracies that its like he didn't even try?
It will probably be like that considering Ridley has only become more of a hack with time.
>he fell for the israelite
>Napoleon THE GREAT
I suppose the greatness will also be stripped from the movie by having such an unlikeable stoop as the lead.
>unlikeable stoop
Perfect casting for that psycho manlet then.
(OP)
but why did they take this photo in a crackhead squat
It's says right there "ridley scott".
why do all you fricks hate on ridley scott but love hacks like fricking tarantino?
Tarantino is trash
Ridley just hasn’t made a good movie in decades.
>Ridley just hasn’t made a good movie in decades.
I liked last duel
>t. cuck
I like Ridley. I just fricking hate that stupid blue color grading he's been doing since Gladiator. Fricking stop it.
This.
How can we tell Ridley he had it right in Duellists and needs to stop the gray-slop color grading?
How can you morons ever understand that your love of grainy old pictures isn't universally agreed upon?
Modern films aren't graded like they are just to piss you off. They're graded like that because audiences prefer a cleaner "more modern" image.
>it looks like shit on purpose, you just don't get it.
"Modern audiences" regularly shit on how samey and dark the cliche modern color grading is.
You're literally moronic.
If you show a trailer for Barry Lyndon to a room full of zoomers, maybe one or two of them will be interested in seeing that film.
You show the trailer from Napoleon to the same room, and most of them will be interested (this interest might fade by the time the film comes out but separate issue).
And even from a tech standpoint, that image you've posted is heavily compressed and grainy. You can see the film looks great underneath, but that pic is doing it no favours.
of course, zoomers, the target audience for the historical 3 hour long movie, they love Barry Lyndon and Zulu after all
>films should be targeted at contrarian racists who spend all day shitposting on Cinemaphile.org
he literally only made three good movies and they were his first three.
>I am going to become Napoleon
Depends on how much they are going to lean on Joséphine plot.
its the main focus of the movie lol
you think there can be a movie about napoleon in current Hollywood without shoehorning in as much girl power as possible?
Hopefully it's like The Last Duel and can easily be cut without ruining the rest of the kino.
Joaquin will carry it. Everybody thought The Joker is going to be the worst shit imaginable. Then it came out and this entire board sucked its dick, alongside the normalgays.
>French history
>made by anglo-saxon pigs
>Sir Ridley Scott as a director
Yeah it's gonna be total shit
Preemptive frog seethe lmamo
>give France well over a century to make as many Napoleon epics as they can muster
>every single one is either trash or forgettable
>Brit makes a single Napoleon epic
>instantly becomes one of the most anticipated films and permeates pop culture before it's even released
Are you guys even trying?
becomes one of the most anticipated films and permeates pop culture before it's even released
I feel like you are a little bit overblowing the hype for this movie for the sake of making the frog seethe.
They will be lucky to break even.
>permeates pop culture
where are you seeing this?
I've seen Napoleon references go up like 1000% in instagram jokes since the trailer dropped.
Ehh. I think it will do better than you think. It won't break a billy but I think $600m is well within likelihood and that's before it releases on streaming.
If the movie ended when he lost in Russia and it focused on all his victories it could be ultra kino
What is waterloo
abel gance's napoleon is unmoggable what are you talking about
Gance's Napoleon film is shit and only the most pretentious pseuds imaginable say otherwise.
>nah bro, this silent film that was made in a format that can't be replicated on modern tvs/screens which runs for 6 hours and only covers the first third of Napoleon's life is the REAL kino
Reminder: the film was so bad that it motivated Kubrick to want to make a Napoleon biopic just so that audiences had something good to watch.
>filtered by runtime
You must be over 18 to post here.
>resorting to strawman arguments after being btfo
lol embarrassing
Soviets have already made the necessary epic napoleonic movies
War&Peace
Waterloo
waterloo is really good
Neither of those are biopics about Napoleon's life.
2002 mini series?
Only known by French people and largely forgotten because it was just a bloated tv drama.
That's only because you Brits have sold yourselves out to media israelites to propagate your media which isn't even made by (you). Get a grip.
We don't really care about Napoleon. I mean, he's a great historical figure, but we're not obsessed with him like the brits are.
You people don’t really care about anything
Smugness is the only emotion I’ve seen Frenchman express
I honestly expect this to be Ridley's first great film in over decade.
It will be historically inaccurate and have some dumb moments. But the music, cinematography and scale will be incredible. Joaquin will give an amazing performance. And the battle scenes will make up the majority of the film and are what Ridley has always done consistently well.
And then Gladiator 2 will be a kino mess of a film
>To the Napoleonmobile!
Seems absurdly ambitious to cover so much in the runtime of a movie. It's gonna be a mess with timeskips every 15mins.
The window to make historical epics about men, let alone revered general and emperor, has passed
This will be turbopozzed shit
I dont have high hopes, but I'm glad we're getting a movie in such a kino period of history at all.
it's going to be about his wife while he's a side character isn't it
The script was focused on Josephine and Napoleon's tumultuous relationship, while being a biopic of his life and having 6 large battle scenes.
The work print was 4.5 hours. They cut 2 hours of Josephine's scenes to get the theatrical cut.
I'm not making this up. So I'm optimistic.
>The script was focused on Josephine and Napoleon's tumultuous relationship, while being a biopic of his life and having 6 large battle scenes.
Literally the most boring and moronic part of Napoleon's career. What is Riddley even thinking of this? I don't think even foids want to watch about Napoleon's relationship with Josephine considering they cast a 50 years old vegan who looks like he is on death's door?
Like I said, the majority of footage left on the cutting room flaw were Josephine scenes.
My theory is that the studio wanted it to be female-empowering before funding it, so Ridley purposely had the writer add a bunch of Josephine scenes as an afterthought that could be easily cut when the film was inevitably too long.
The execs ask for one thing at a pitch meeting. They ask for something entirely different when it comes to the theatrical release. As long as the theatrical cut is entertaining, I don't think they give a shit whose scenes were cut.
I will watch it to see him on the big screen. But my hopes are not high lmfao. Show me that feminist wife's tale, give me a few shots of Lannes and let me die
Even if it's good, it still won't be as grand as Waterloo.
obligatory
Not that I have any intertest in watching the other three hours of that film, I just like the squares
>Even if it's good, it still won't be as grand as Waterloo.
No shit. The studio doesn't have access to a large piece of land that has been modified to be a special-made mock battlefield with tons of prepared practical effects explosions, smoke, real 19th century cannons as props, nor thousands of military personnel, each with their own period-accurate uniform according to their rank, who got the time off duty to actually play extras in this movie, many of whom are also skilled at stunt-falling off a horse, and the studio isn't worried about horses getting injured and shit when they fall down.
Nothing this based will ever happen again.
>I am the first to admit when I have made a mistake
>I simply never do
into
>I made one mistake in my life
>I should have burned Berlin
But did he actually say either of those things?
>this is the young conqueror I was telling you about
Isn't Joaquin in his late 50s already?
>Directed by Ridley "the KINOman" Scott
I have an erection right now.
moderately
>coming out in 2 months
where is the hype?
The obvious shilling of this movie is the hype anon.
>we'll forever be denied napolekino from kubrick
he's the one who would've done Napoleon right
Don't worry, Spielberg is butchering Kubrick's script as we type. Coming to HBO at some point in the future
>Ridley Scott
>post 2000
With the exception of Prometheus, he hasn't made a good movie since
I liked they trailer but they're doing the whole "accskktyusuaalllly this man who did a thing was really controlled by women and women did everything" thing and ima cringin'
This, it’s a back door movie about his wife and how she was the one who actually did all the strategic planning and empire building
Frick Didley Squat, I don’t even care if Gladiator is kino anymore
A woman simped him into creating an independent Poland, just to name one example
Good, frick Prussia
I have low hopes, but will see it in the kinoplex anyway.
Saw the trailer in theaters. Napoleon crawling on his knees simping while Joséphine says he's nothing without her. Finally a strong powerful woman in one of these historical biopics. Behind every successful man there is a woman much smarter than him.
Napoleon was literally a simp to Josephine though. Like he was out sweating his butt off in Egypt while she was screwing literally anyone she could find. And Napoleon would stick his fingers in his ears and scream if anyone tried to tell him.
Then he'd pick a fight with her and try and frick other women in a blatant way to make her jealous before confessing his love to her again and begging her not to leave him.
>t. Duke of Wellington
>*Anglo hands furiously typing*
>honhonhon ze letters are not real because... Zey make Napoleon look le pathetique
That's actually accurate though, Napoleon was a massive pathetic simp for Josephine.
>Since I left you, I have been constantly depressed. My happiness is to be near you. Incessantly I live over in my memory your caresses, your tears, your affectionate solicitude. The charms of the incomparable Josephine kindle continually a burning and a glowing flame in my heart. When, free from all solicitude, all harassing care, shall I be able to pass all my time with you, having only to love you, and to think only of the happiness of so saying, and of proving it to you? I will send you your horse, but I hope you will soon join me. I thought that I loved you months ago, but since my separation from you I feel that I love you a thousand fold more. Each day since I knew you, have I adored you yet more and more. This proved the maxim of Bruyere, that "love comes all of a sudden," to be false. Everything in nature has its own course, and different degrees of growth.
https://www.pbs.org/empires/napoleon/n_josephine/emperor/page_1.html
>I write you, me beloved one, very often, and you write very little. You are wicked and naughty, very naughty, as much as you are fickle. It is unfaithful so to deceive a poor husband, a tender lover! Ought he to lose all his enjoyments because he is so far away, borne down with toil, fatigue, and hardship? Without his Josephine, without the assurance of her love, what is left him upon earth? What can he do?
LMAO literally >pls respond
>You are wicked and naughty, very naughty
God damn this reeks of cuck fetish. I guarantee you he would have jacked off if she got blacked on the Africa campaign.
It could just be an awkward translation from French to English, but I wouldn’t know.
I was about to get mad at this but then I remembered how everything is fake in real time now, nevermind over the course of history, some israelite probably made all this shit up to disgrace him.
>just assume that everything that makes you question your beliefs is fake news created by ~~*them*~~ to make you feel bad
That's one strategy through life I guess
>question my beliefs
my beliefs are not dependent upon the historical accuracy of Napoleon
if you think our history is accurate, lol. lol I said. Possibly even lmao.
>why let facts get in the way of my extremist views?
Not him but have a nice day.
>your facts are akshully triggering me so if you could stop that would be great
Horrible
Ridley's first movie was set in the Napoleonic Wars and it's also his best movie.
Napoleon is gonna be kino
>I don’t love you anymore; on the contrary, I detest you. You are a vile, mean, beastly bawd. You don’t write to me at all; you don’t love your husband; you know how happy your letters make him, and you don’t write him six lines of nonsense…
>Soon, I hope, I will be holding you in my arms; then I will cover you with a million hot kisses, burning like the equator.
waiting for the camrip webm derision threads
It’s ridley scott so it’ll either be really great, or very forgettable.
How is it that the most realistic portrayal of Napoleon is still Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? How were they able to get it so right when everyone else gets it so wrong?
>Le ebin biography about Napoleon
Napoleons a fascinating guy. He deserves a better, more accurate and less 'epic' film adaptation, with one of our biggest hacks at the helm
Already in the trailer there are awful alarm bells:
>perpetuating the Whiff of grapeshot myth
>joaquin older than Boney was even at his death
>Josephine actress YOUNGER than Boney
>Boney depicted as brooding mastermind instead of awkward but oddly charismatic autist
>Boney depicted as brooding mastermind
Well it's made by an Englishman, what do you expect? That is how Napoleon has always been characterized in England, it's how Napoleonic history is taught to English students. Napoleon, the architect of Europe's doom, Napoleon the egomaniacal schemer, Napoleon the evil genius.
>Married to one of the most powerful men in the world who lavishes you in praise and riches
>Cuck him constantly with every 10 incher that comes across your path
>He keeps taking you back and idolizing you
No wonder women hold Napoleon and Josephine up as one of the greatest love stories in history.
The trailer for it was god awful. Actually shocked they managed to make a movie about a historical figure I find very interesting look so bad.
Shall we vote?
He did absolutely nothing wrong
not even the major dweebs in my history club want to watch this. and we watched that awful Clint Eastwood musical-western Paint Your Wagon together.
They Call the Wind Mariah is a beautiful song, anon
Your history club sounds like it's full of gays.
This film looks kino.
the movie will be deeply flawed, but Wakeem will give a kino performance. you heard it here first
I am NapoopaN
Always been a NoeleoN kind of guy