Actually have a thousands-of-years-spanning story that takes place across various historical points, more cosmic autism like Arishem. No boring le modern life we hid ourselves shit until we actually get to the present day
Have the gay black dude from the start since he was like the most likable character, drop the Superman bad angle because it's tiring, significantly retool Sersi because she's boring as frick, make Kingo Japanese because that was such a stupid thing to do it wasn't worth it, still kill Salma Hayek but have her appear for more than half of the movie and do more stuff holy frick that was moronic, have the e-girl jailbait do more illusion stuff and be less of a cranky c**t, have it so she wants to replace Sersi like kill the actual Sersi and get the celestial to respawn her in a Sersi body, something like that, but have her be fun so the twist hits harder instead of whatever it was in the finished film, ACTUALLY give fast deaf girl something instead of dropping her at the Eternals spaceship, Korean buff dude can still die but the Deviants have to look good instead of shitty.
Make it a TV show instead of a movie. It's very difficult, not impossible, but difficult, to handle that many main characters in a movie.
Actually have it span many different time periods, characterize the Eternals as weird, offputting robots who impassively watch humankind commit their worst atrocities. Have them not understand why we act the way we do, but also be so robotic that they don't feel like helping or literally can't because they've been programmed that way by the Celestials. Have things start to turn when someone finds out what they are and questions them on why they've done nothing to help humanity.
Have the storyline be about how many of them die, and in the end one or two break free of their programming.
>How would you fix it?
Include Dane through the film. Their 'disconnectedness' was the main problem.
Thena had excalider. Dane's uncle had the Ebony blade and was a great student of medeval history. You could have tied those two together a lot more naturally if the entire thing hadn't been strung together around Neil Gaiman's Eternal's miniseries (which is one of the worst comics he's ever written -- still okay but thoroughly 'meh' and a terrible intro to the team) which was in turm play-dough pressed onto the rough skeleton of the scrapped Inhumans movie.
LOTS of things about this movie worked but the core of it didn't.
I liked that they set up Doctor Druid. I liked that they set up Sentry. Half the cast was a better character than Siersi because she was stuck with no one to bounce off of once Dane left that wasn't a creepy ex.
The costumes were pretty meh. I get what they were going for... but meh.
In all of those flashbacks we should have seen them interacting with one of the other pantheons from Thor: Love and Thunder. They just felt so... ISOLATED.
>I liked that they set up Doctor Druid. I liked that they set up Sentry.
They... they did?
I seem to recall a joke about Doctor Druid, though it might be just you gaslighting me; but I don't remember anything about Sentry.
It's a fan theory that Druig (who is the only relatable character in the movie) is going to become Doctor Druid, with the MCU conflating the two characters together. (It's not the first time Marvel's done it. I want to say they also split Night Nurse into two?)
The companion theory was that Ikarus, whom the movie played as Superman and had fly into the sun, would eventually going to come back as the Sentry, who is also a Superman-analog with a sun/eclipse thing going on.
It was all just a fan theory. The Doctor Druid thing makes sense though because he got a lot of focus.
Give all of them a personality. The only ones who had personalities were the gay one, whose personality was being gay, and the indian one, whose personality was Bollywood
Actually have a thousands-of-years-spanning story that takes place across various historical points, more cosmic autism like Arishem. No boring le modern life we hid ourselves shit until we actually get to the present day
This, and make it part of the earlier phases to help set up Thanos.
Have the gay black dude from the start since he was like the most likable character, drop the Superman bad angle because it's tiring, significantly retool Sersi because she's boring as frick, make Kingo Japanese because that was such a stupid thing to do it wasn't worth it, still kill Salma Hayek but have her appear for more than half of the movie and do more stuff holy frick that was moronic, have the e-girl jailbait do more illusion stuff and be less of a cranky c**t, have it so she wants to replace Sersi like kill the actual Sersi and get the celestial to respawn her in a Sersi body, something like that, but have her be fun so the twist hits harder instead of whatever it was in the finished film, ACTUALLY give fast deaf girl something instead of dropping her at the Eternals spaceship, Korean buff dude can still die but the Deviants have to look good instead of shitty.
Make it a TV show instead of a movie. It's very difficult, not impossible, but difficult, to handle that many main characters in a movie.
Actually have it span many different time periods, characterize the Eternals as weird, offputting robots who impassively watch humankind commit their worst atrocities. Have them not understand why we act the way we do, but also be so robotic that they don't feel like helping or literally can't because they've been programmed that way by the Celestials. Have things start to turn when someone finds out what they are and questions them on why they've done nothing to help humanity.
Have the storyline be about how many of them die, and in the end one or two break free of their programming.
Please forgive the shitty Photoshop job. If you think you can improve it, be my guest.
>How would you fix it?
Include Dane through the film. Their 'disconnectedness' was the main problem.
Thena had excalider. Dane's uncle had the Ebony blade and was a great student of medeval history. You could have tied those two together a lot more naturally if the entire thing hadn't been strung together around Neil Gaiman's Eternal's miniseries (which is one of the worst comics he's ever written -- still okay but thoroughly 'meh' and a terrible intro to the team) which was in turm play-dough pressed onto the rough skeleton of the scrapped Inhumans movie.
LOTS of things about this movie worked but the core of it didn't.
I liked that they set up Doctor Druid. I liked that they set up Sentry. Half the cast was a better character than Siersi because she was stuck with no one to bounce off of once Dane left that wasn't a creepy ex.
The costumes were pretty meh. I get what they were going for... but meh.
In all of those flashbacks we should have seen them interacting with one of the other pantheons from Thor: Love and Thunder. They just felt so... ISOLATED.
>I liked that they set up Doctor Druid. I liked that they set up Sentry.
They... they did?
I seem to recall a joke about Doctor Druid, though it might be just you gaslighting me; but I don't remember anything about Sentry.
It's a fan theory that Druig (who is the only relatable character in the movie) is going to become Doctor Druid, with the MCU conflating the two characters together. (It's not the first time Marvel's done it. I want to say they also split Night Nurse into two?)
The companion theory was that Ikarus, whom the movie played as Superman and had fly into the sun, would eventually going to come back as the Sentry, who is also a Superman-analog with a sun/eclipse thing going on.
It was all just a fan theory. The Doctor Druid thing makes sense though because he got a lot of focus.
Not sure
i'd fix it by not doing anything with it at all
all those actors could literally be x-men or various villains or whatever other characters. total fricking waste
Give all of them a personality. The only ones who had personalities were the gay one, whose personality was being gay, and the indian one, whose personality was Bollywood
More delicious Gemma feet
My brethren
A lengthy orgy scene with Gemma Chan, Salma Hayek, and Lauren Ridloff would've done wonders.
Gemma Chan looks like this?!
Frick this movie. I curse the MCU.
Ok, this is the best place to say it.
Eternals has the exact same plot as Transformers: The Last Knight.
Salma Hayek's boobs
The bottom portion of everyone's costume is now assless chaps. You're welcome.
There is no fixing it. Can't fix a masterpiece.
Maybe add a few more quips?
cut out the first 3rd
cut out the last 3rd
Black Knight is not British.
British up the last 3rd.
First, their costumes; they look SO. FRICKING. BLAND.
It's like an what some sort of futuristic costume-making AI would shit out if you typed in
>"Marvel Cinematic Universe Team Costume"
I'm rather fond of their costumes actually.
>ywn help Salma squeeze out of her tight, steamy suit after a long day of shooting