>“I like Crystal Skull more than the Sean Connery one,” Tarantino said in an August 2022 episode of the ReelBlend podcast, recorded in his home screening room. “I don’t like the Sean Connery one. I don’t like the Sean Connery one at all. … That’s such a boring one. It’s boring. And he’s not an interesting character. The joke is made immediately. It’s like Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.”
Is Tarantino right? Is The Last Crusade "the boring one"?
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Yes
What happens if Tarantino is a guest on RLM and he said that to them in a video?
mike starts trying to tongue frick his mouth slot repeatedly, and rich screams and gouges tarantula eyes out
and then jay says it’s not artsy or experimental enough
>Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Better than Kill Bill
Nope. Connery is great in it.
I randomly quote JUNIOR all the time.
It’s boring. It’s Raiders but worse. Each Indiana Jones movie should have been a a separate adventure, but Last Crusade copied the Christian artifact, villains are Nazi’s, and brought back the plot beats and characters from Raiders. It’s bad.
Pro tip: All of this applies to Skull as well, but that one at least gets the reputation it deserves for it.
Had the father son dynamic too, remember the audience was aging with the charger
*character
>t drinking phone poster
Technically the grail is a European Pagan thing which got subsumed into the Christian narrative, while the ark is a Middle Eastern myth.
the grail is not a pagan thing and literally did not show up before the middle ages. are midwits still spouting golden bough tier shit to cope about this?
Where's King Arthur in the Bible?
right so if something is written by devout christians in the christian era but doesn’t appear in the bible that makes it pagan? so I guess pope and chaucer are also pagan? lmfao
The Old Testament isn't even "Christian".
So it’s pagan then? I guess piers plowman and the canterbury tales are also pagan, because the characters aren’t in the bible (ignore the aggressive christian theming and glossing)
Where is King Arthur in Last Crusade?
Have you actually read ANY of the vulgate cycle or malory? Arthur is filled with christianity you fricking moron
They probably just saw the boorman movie, I don’t think these midwits read
You're a moron. Arthurian legends are rooted in Celtic Britain. A lot of it is just Fionn Mac Cumhaill and the Fianna with serial numbers filed off, and those stories have pagan Gods interfering in the narrative vibrantly.
The Arthurian legends were Christianised later on, but the Holy Grail stuff wasn't added until the 1100s by de Troyes in what was basically a King Arthur fanfic designed to push an ideal of Christian knighthood. Midwits started projecting pagan origins onto it in Victorian times but the Grail myths spouted up in the middle ages and are steeped head to toe in Christianity.
>celtic britain
you mean wales and cornwall, and post christian wales and cornwall too. and as with merlin and the two dragons the christian elements existed since the start, it’s basically the beowulf cope all over again. we know from andreas referencing the christian parts of beowulf that they existed very early in composition rather than being scribal additions, it’s the same shit with arthur.
>christianised later on
they literally came to exist already in the christianised era. wales was not some pagan holdout. of course they were influenced by existing folklore but to say that makes them pagan is just nonsense, it’s like arguing the sea is only salt with no water.
Monmouth was already christianising arthur, it happened way before the 12 century
>arthurian legends are celtic
No they aren't
Arthur was likely based off a Romano British warlord who fought against the invading Anglo saxons. The Romano Britons were Christian, so arthur was a Christian figure from the start
>muh Irish
Are you moronic? Why are you implying that gaelic myths has anything to do with the Britons? You realise that those were two different groups, right? The Romano Britons were subject to slave raids from Irish gaels, they were not Irish
It's funny how you people pretend that "celts" were nature worshipping pagans when in reality the "celtic" nations were bastions of Christianity in dark ages Europe and Irish monks were instrumental in christianising the Anglo saxons and norse
King arthur is an explicitly Christian mythical hero who fights against pagan Anglo saxons, spastic
Arthur in the original legends literally has the virgin Mary on his shield
Why do you morons think king arthur is pagan?
not to mention shit like galahad, the most blatant ultra christian self insert in the history of the romance. he literally wields king davids sword
Galahad is less a character, and more of a force of nature. He's almost like a Chivalry Elemental.
>Then Sir Launcelot kneeled down by the wounded knight saying. ‘My lord Arthur, I must do your commandment, the which is sore against my heart.’ And then he held up his hands, and looked into the east, saying secretly unto himself, ‘Thou blessed Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, I beseech Thee of Thy mercy, that my simple worship and honesty be saved, and Thou blessed Trinity, Thou mayst give power to heal this sick knight by Thy great virtue and grace of Thee, but, good Lord, never of myself.’
>And then Sir Launcelot prayed Sir Urré to let him see his head; and then devoutly kneeling he ransacked the three wounds, that they bled a little, and forthwithal the wounds fair healed, and seemed as they had been whole a seven year. And in likewise he searched his body of other three wounds, and they healed in likewise; and then the last of all he searched the one which was in his hand, and anon it healed fair.
>Then King Arthur and all the kings and knights kneeled down and gave thankings and lovings unto God and to his blessed mother. And ever Sir Launcelot wept as he had been a child that had been beaten.
Bruh this seems pretty christian to me
May as well say Stephen King's The Stand is part of Biblical myth.
again moron, christian =/= biblical. chaucer is christian literature and has nothing to do with the bible. seneca is pagan literature and has nothing to do with homer
u-uh no you see this is actually pagan because it doesn’t quote john or luke!
I'm not much of a Lancelot fan, but this was one of my favorite scenes, and the part right after where King Arthur and all the Round Table cries for joy with him to have his fellowship. I nearly cried myself.
Malory came up with it himself and it’s not in his sources, so I think it’s quite emotionally charged for him. A big deal is made of how lancelot is seen as the worthiest knight but is actually the least worthy, and he knows it secretly. Yet the miracle is performed through him anyway, because his acknowledgment of his unworthiness coupled with the fact that he attempted anyway makes him worthy. It’s an interesting moment
I think it’s just fedoras coping that a large portion of their culture comes from dreaded christianity. They’d argue dante was secretly pagan if they could.
The Holy Grail is literally not a thing in canonical Christianity.
Black person neither is 90% of catholicism, yet it’s still christian
It's not Middle Eastern.
pagans existed in the middle east too
Most relics associated with jesus are extrapolations based on the bible. Jesus drank at the last supper, hence the grail. Jesus got circumcised, hence the holy prepuce. This is just a moronic analogy
>sankgreal
exclusively the invention of medieval monks
>ark
literally just a container for scripture described in shit like the book of numbers. what non israeli analogue are you implying?
My point is that the Grail myth has a European origin, and the Ark myth has a middle eastern origin, so they're not just the same thing. What are you implying?
European christian origin. Something being part of the romance genre doesn’t make it pagan, since romance itself is specially a novelty of christian society
No he’s right. The grail myth is comes from an Irish folktale and written in The Prophetic Ecstasy of the Phantom (1056) and was later co-opted by the Christian’s.
The most famous version by Malory in Le Morte D'Arthur (1469 AD) has it as Christ’s cup
Meant for
which was written by christians. something written by christians that doesn’t explicitly mention jesus doesn’t make it pagan
Erm nope. Celts weren't Christian
>1056
they were ardently christian you fricking mong
The celtic folktale came before the book. orally :^)
so it’s back to the beowulf cope already discussed.
>ummm yeah this was composed and written by christians but they were influenced by folklore too, so that means it’s not christian at all even though the fricking author was
Dante is pagan because he has centaurs in his poem
Read the thread you already got debunked on every count here.
>um akshully
Yeah I think 2 was too exotic for american audiences and they overcorrected. 4 should have been mixed with 3.
Sounds like he just doesn’t like Connery. He’s probably butthurt that Connery was a real man who wasn’t afraid to beat women.
shut up homosexual
you have to love seethe posts like this that don’t even give a reason for the defensive anger
Seethecope Black person b***hass
Temple is the only one that feels it has any danger to it even though it's a prequel
he’s a massive israelite allergic to the christian elements of crusade
>he’s a massive israelite allergic to the christian elements of crusade
stupidest post ITT
Yeah, it's boring. It's boring. Don't ask me for any more detail than that, forget about the reasoning, it's just boring. It's boring.
>bro just write a college thesis for literally every opinion or youre wrong
frickin homosexual
It is boring. Seethe harder.
even if you think that, how the frick is crystal skull less boring? all the meme worthy moments occur in the first 30 minutes and it’s tedious slop from there on.
Say what you will about Skull, but it is weird as frick and more interesting than the Raiders remix that Last Crusade was. I disagree that it was tedious.
then you are lying or haven’t watched it recently. it is utterly fricking dull for the majority of the runtime
That’s your opinion bro. Last Crusade is much more dull. The catacombs, nazi mansion and desert are all fairly boilerplate. The grail temple was neat.
Boilerplate to what? This is just an example of familiarity breeding contempt. Name a better boat or motorcycle chase in the late 80's?
It doesn’t have the tense action scenes of any of the trilogy
>you have to explain why you dislike something and if you can't come up with a concrete reason then your opinion is actually incorrect and you don't think it's boring at all
Black person, what the frick are you on?
Tarantino is a gay but he’s right on this one. Last Crusade is verifiable slop. Connery does nothing but bumble around scene to scene like Charlie Chaplin, all the while belittling the hero.
It’s gay.
No. It’s literally just a better constructed film than crystal skull. The set pieces are better choreographed and more exciting, I find the relationship between indy and his father engaging, and the healing power of the artefact is a powerful emotional note to end on.
didn't this guy make the hateful 8 and OUATIH? ironic
hateful 8 is just a remake of The Thing
but the thing keeps you on the edge of your seat while TH8 is a bore. shitty remake if you ask me
Obviously Tarantino didn't like it he is unironically clearly autistic and just wants to watch cool people do cool shit. Its literally his ENTIRE filmography. which is why he ranks it his lowest.because its the one where indy is most human and least 'cool'.
That said, I also rank it under raiders and temple.
hes a corny gen x'er not autistic
He was a little high on feet at the time
I like Tarantino now
Tarantino has unbelievable bad taste in cinema. You can calibrate quality metrics on his quotes: he liked a movie -- Its flick. He hates a film -- worth watching.
Examples? I mean aside from the one brought up in this thread.
>most emotionally complex entry in the series that is actually attempting to spiritually say something instead if just being braindead serial slop filters a man whose films are entirely spectacle and flair with zero substance
checks out
>tranime lover talks about spirituality and complexity
The Last Crusade feels much more like a kids film than the previous two, no doubt as a reaction to Doom being too dark and violent. Indy films were always family entertainment, but they felt like they had a grit to them, Crusade feels....cartoonish? Like in a bad way.
What are you talking about. Doom even added a kid sidekick so that it would appeal to kids more. It being the darkest is a meme regurgitated by morons
Ah yes, the predictable 'actually the old ones were worse than you remember' marketing. Frick off.
tarantino is the son of a coalburning prostitute from a trailer park, frick could that moron have to say about anything besides sucking dick and huffing glue
Tarantino looks like sling blade now that you mention his mom being a trailer park Black person fricking prostitute..makes a lot of sense
Tarantino doesn't have a father
Last Crusade has always been my favourite. Getting the grail is the most iconic scene in the series
>make a point that the Grail myth and the Ark myth don't come from remotely the same place, and now all of the Christians are mad
Just have sex. Jesus...
>say something incorrect
>get corrected
I'm sorry I said "Pagan" for a story a story written by a bunch of Euros that isn't part of the Bible or real Christianity at all. Fricking hell.
You know what I meant.
The bizarre thing is that if it’s not in the bible it somehow isn’t christian. It’s like saying the plays of sophocles aren’t pagan since they don’t reference things in the homeric epics exclusively. The romances are all heavily based on christian mythos and were composed by literal monks in the middle ages. Pagan is not a byword for european
I hope someone kicks you down the stairs, m8
is kicking people down the stairs a pagan thing? it’s not in the bible
I retracted the "pagan" thing. I should have said "folklore". Middle Eastern folklore is a different thing to European folklore. Do you disagree?
Stop being a fricking knob head for five seconds.
alright sorry
You sound like a protestant purist that rejects anything not directly from the bible as non-christian, completely disregarding all context. Most cultural practices in European Christian countries are considered Christian by virtue of being practiced by Christians and by being codified in non-biblical writings. Unless you think that the writings of saints cuche as Augustine or John Chrysostom are non-christian since they aren't in th e bible, or that any practices, beliefs and rituals derived from their writings also aren't Christian.
Last Crusade does have a silly parody feel mixed in
But it's a real shame to reject the Grail Quest/Faith theme, Father & Son reconnecting
Tarantino is a deranged subhuman.
Nothing he spews out of his Black person dick pounded mouth should be taken seriously.
>Autism: the thread
if you think about it aristophanes was influenced by plato who was a monotheist, so his plays are actually christian
Ok stop it now, you’ve proved your point.
>Tarantino complaining about one-note characters
Oh the ironing.
>movie has no Black folks
>Tarantino hates it
lol
He'll call Dilator of Destin-ACK his favorite just because it has a literal glowBlack person with an afro in it.
No, he's full of shit (or cocaine) take your pick.
Nah it's fun and the banter between them is funny and Elsa is hot, the action sequences are good and the Holy Grail is always a kino macguffin.
The Holy Grail story is a hybrid of Christianity and medieval romance
same shit. the epic is synonymous with paganism in the way that the romance is synonymous with christianity. they’re both inherently bound up in the culture and religion that birthed them. the same way the psychological novel is a product of modernity
Crusade features a man and his father while Skull focuses on a single mom and her bastard son, easier to relate to.
Tarantino is a footgay and a Blackphile. He has no taste.
I don't get the love of The Last Crusade. It's Raiders Lite.
Father son
Temple sucks ass
No, Last Crusade is the best of the lot.
Cringe and incorrect
Frick off back to making zombie AVGN reviews, James
He's right and the only reason it's remembered fondly is because of the ending with the cool puzzles he beat with clues and knowledge.
Frick Crystal cuck but I agree that the 3rd is the weakest.
1>2>3
That's the objective order, theres literally no reason to dislike Temple of Doom other than MUH ANNOYING b***h who cares don't be a gay.
Only a gay would tolerate Willie's screaming
>Not just automatically blocking out women in cinema.
She's a barking annoying dog, a prop, just ignore her. She isn't real.
She's annoying, worse than Jar Jar. Short Round isn't much more charming either.
Tarantino has shit taste in general. Fricking guy has unironically watched countless exploitation movies and liked them all.
Not surprised he didn't like it since it's daddy issues: the movie.
i can understand liking crystal skull, but he crossed the line when he said stop or my mom will shoot was bad
the young Indiana Jones chronicles were better than the movies
He’s not completely wrong. The Indiana franchise overall is way over rated
2>power gap>3>1>4
I am incapable of caring about any "person" that hates The Last Crusade.
Last Crusade is fine but they should have gone with Lucas's haunted castle idea.
I keep thinking about this. What the frick was going to happen in this story? The Monkey King screenplay started with some weird Scooby Doo shit with Indy investigating some Scottish mansion that turned out to be haunted.
I don't like Last Crusade, but Sean Connery is the only good thing about it.
It's like watching an entire porno for one guy.
Jurassic Park 1 Budget was only 40million USD.
Indiana 5 was 400 USD.
hollywood needs to learn how to make movies with normal budgets again or they die.
Jurassic Park was 63 million but you're correct, even with inflation that comes to $136.5 million in 2023 dollars.
indy aand his dad simping for the same chick was gay as frick. i hate women and israelites
>simping
>implying Connery wasn't just letting JUNIOR have his fun before stepping in, throwing her down, and slamming his dick into her nazi cooch
Because of Tarantula's based view on Ishiro Honda I will forgive every other opinion he has on any subject.
you can already see spielberg running on autopilot. slocombe's cinematography and john williams' score are pretty uninspiring compared to the first two
the relationship with indy and his dad carry the film hard
>degenerate crypto-israelite hates Last Crusade, which confirms the divinity of Christ
Checks out.
A what? Your mental illness is showing. Also precisely 0% of directors, writers and producers of The Last Crusade were Christian.
THE LAST CRUSADE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH JESUS BECAUSE 0% OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED LIKE JESUS
lol what
did you even watch the movie?
do you even know what the Holy Grail is?
Do you? The holy grail is entirely myth. Scholars can't even agree on what the "grail" was if it existed which is a big if. Shit like the arc was not. Try harder you dickless c**t.
>I hate Jesus so much I pretend the Last Crusade doesn't involve the Cup of Christ
lol
Didn't watch Skull but I agree Crusade is overrated. It would've been trashed if it came out today but people give it a pass because they watched it when they were kids.
>It would've been trashed if it came out today
Crusader is better than any fricking movie made int he past ten years what are you on about moron.
man, not even as a kid i liked indiana jones, such a boring franchise
The last crusade is the best one
yes, the correct ranking is
2>1>4>3>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>5
what a fricking homosexual
Are there feet shots on it or little girls on it? That would explain it
This is easily the most ridiculous take I have ever seen. Embarrassing.
None of them are good and the first one is just okay
Never understood why people liked Last Crusade so much. The ending scene with the cups is cool, but that's about it.
i love when tarantino shits on a movie and makes Cinemaphile triggered
I'm on Tarantino's side. He also likes Temple Of Doom the best. Temple was the one I watched on repeat as a kid, although objectively speaking, Raiders is better.
I straight up dislike Crusade. When I first saw it as a little kid I loved the opening and would just turn it off after that. I found it incredibly boring. Watching it as an adult, I apprrciated it more, but it really feels flat and perfunctory compared to the first two up until the end. The whole middle with Connery just feels like a long, long episode of Macgyver or something.
I'll also add he's nuts for thinking Skull is better. It's basically just a shitter version of Crusade.
The original intention of it being Bond like would have been cooler.
It's an uninspired retread of the elements of Raiders, but Sean Connery makes the movie worth watching. The relationship between Indi and his dad alone is better than anything in Raiders, even if the rest of the movie is pretty mid
Temple of Doom is better than either, so it's a bit of a moot point
I honestly can’t think of a single movie-related opinion this guy has voiced that I agree with. Why is he renowned as “the film buff guy” saying all these things?
>Is Tarantino right? Is The Last Crusade "the boring one"?
nah
its the best one once you realise the whole shitty father thing is a lucas motif and connery is great in it playing against type