Assuming I developed the same sort of survival skills, it would honestly be better than my current NEET existence. I’d be in better shape, eating a healthier diet and not drinking alcohol.
The person I replied said watching anime. That's not talking to people. Either way you're being an autist. My point was that he mainly used an object to maintain sanity.
Wilson was a hold over from when Tim Allen was going to star in it as the Home Improvement movie. They had to hire Hank's for the role when Allen tried to smuggle 53 lbs of coke on to the fed ex plane set.
Survival training teaches you that it's important to stay sane. Making a friend with something inanimate will help. We naturally anthropomorph objects, so giving it a face is just the logical step.
Most definitely, but it's a movie where we still have to like the main character, as he's the only character for most of the movie. You can't have him be too crazy. Talking to a volleyball is about all they could do.
Yes. Talking to yourself isn't insane. Having something to make eye contact with, even illusory eye contact with, is going to help keep your from losing your mental state. Humans are very simple animals.
in the novel the movie it is based on it is revealed that the package he never opened contained icecubes... the one think he missed most of all. He could have had ice the whole time.
Yeah man laugh out loud hilarious lol its just so wacky and funny that he could use ice cubes to freeze water to walk on haha
2 years ago
Anonymous
You are right. It is better if you just sit there and be a fat smelly prick.
2 years ago
Anonymous
That joke is funny, you will take your meds and you will have sex
2 years ago
Anonymous
The joke is not funny. How moronic do you have to be to think thats funny. >KEK HE COULD USE ICE CUBES TO FREEZE THE OCEAN!!!!!!!!!!!! MFW!!!!!
You are right. It is better if you just sit there and be a fat smelly prick.
Post body
2 years ago
Anonymous
Post an example of what you think is a funny joke
2 years ago
Anonymous
I don't want to see his body.
2 years ago
Anonymous
You know that scene in Robocop where he meets Lewis for the first time and she says she'll drive and opens the driver's seat door but then he takes the seat instead of her and makes a crack about it?
That was a funny joke.
2 years ago
Anonymous
A new immigrant to the country of Germany is walking down the street. He is so incredibly grateful for being able to live in such a great country that he wants to thank the first German he sees. He stops a man walking by and thanks the man. "Oh no, I'm not German, I'm syrian" says the man. After apologizing he stops the next man he sees and tries to thank him. "Sorry sir, I'm not German, I'm Somalian". He apologizes again and although slightly frustrated, continues to look for a german to thank. He tries one more time and stops another stranger. "Sorry, I'm not german" says the man, "I'm Kenyan". The immigrant is very upset now. "I just want to thank a German for such a great opportunity to live in such a great country! Why is this so hard?! Where are all the germans?!" "Probably working" says the Kenyan.
>put icecube in water >water around it freezes >step onto ice >pick up ice cube >place ice cube a bit in front of you >water freezes >take another step >repeat
problem?
that is also from the book and what knocked his tooth out. They changed it to an ice skate in the movie as a throwback to the ice cubes. The book and film changed a lot from when it was about Hone Improvement.
you can't whittle a dildo in a survival situation. You might cut your dick while using it as a model. Then you'd be israeli and good fricking luck finding anything kosher to eat.
honestly, it is a terrifying fate. you get bit by something or scraped, develop a festering wound, and go out in agonizing pain, parched, starved and hallucinating, and it lasts for a week while you're eaten by wild animals.
I'm all for sending all racists to each their own deserted island. I'd count that as a win/win. You get to enjoy your solitude, completely free of minorities, and everyone would get to enjoy living without you.
>How many miles is Alabama across? >The state's 52,423 square miles are configured in a length of 330 miles and a width of 150 miles at their longest and widest expanse.
Let's say that you aren't rushing, and only walk 10 miles per day, so there's still enough time to find food/etc. You'll find civilization before a month.
Actually due to humans having a dominant "heavy" foot you'll just walk around in literal circles thinking you're going perfectly straight. That's why using something to orient yourself like the sun is so important
Where did I say that you shouldn't use something to orient yourself? But once you picked your direction, you stick to it. In a few days, you'll find civilization.
You aren't trained at all. You're larping on a weaboo website for manchildren because you've played Raft for 1000 hours. Get a life and stop being such a gigantic homosexual, you're embarrassing yourself.
>You aren't trained at all.
Except I am. From military, not video games. >Figure out what we used to do as kids?
Something you did for fun, with a full stomach, after lots of sleep, water, etc. VS something you're doing for survival.
Very different. You're going to be tired, sore, hungry, thirst, hot, etc.
>bro I was in the military that's why I'm a survivalist expert
stop lying to strangers on the internet. the fact that you even think you do anything other than stare at screens all day if you're in the military shows you watch too many Rambo movies
I don't know, but people from America generally don't tell people they are from "USA" when asked where they are from. You also leave out certain words in your sentences that identify you as ESL. You are a good ESL but your entire manner of speech is too textbook to be natural.
You remember that reality show when it was men vs women and women ended up getting lost and making a circle 3 times trying to get out of the woods? That was with camera crews helping them.
>After she recovered she gave a strange story about her ordeal, claiming she thinks she was drugged and left naked in the middle of the woods. She says she survived from eating mushrooms and berries and drinking muddy stream water, but there are many who don’t believe her story.
How do you end up lost for a month in USA? Just pick a direction and walk. You'll find civilization in a few days, tops.
>After she recovered she gave a strange story about her ordeal, claiming she thinks she was drugged and left naked in the middle of the woods. She says she survived from eating mushrooms and berries and drinking muddy stream water, but there are many who don’t believe her story.
With what?
also, that's a kino Lem story >get AI assistant earpiece >implanted in your ear >seems cool >go on cruise >get shipwrecked >stranded on island >your "friend" immediately tells you to have a nice day >constantly justifying suicide as the only possible right action given the astronomical odds of rescue >trying to bully you into doing it
Would have made a kino episode of the twilight zone.
I would die of starvation. Taking my life is the easy way out. If I managed to survive a plane crash in a storm in the middle of the ocean I'd at least take that second chance at life and make it work somehow. Try to hunt, build/find shelter, fish get to know the lay of the land. It would be hard but I'd at least try.
How many coconuts do you think it will take, before you figure out how to open it without spilling all the liquid? More than just a few.
After that? Dehydration. You won't find that many coconuts.
>Conservatively, each tree would produce about 200 coconuts in a year, and the nuts would increase as the trees mature in age, bearing fruits for no fewer than 60 years.
You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations, and a broken bone/injury will ruin your chances to live. So you'll only get the coconuts as they fall, as you shouldn't be wasting your energy throwing rocks at the trees either.
Coconut milk is a stop-gap for keeping you alive. Not your main source of fluids, as you're going to need more than the normal 2L of water. Due to working much harder, and not getting the normal ~1L of water from regular foods. You're going to need to drink closer to 3L of water per day.
Now, how much time do you think it's going to take, for you to open one? And the second? You're going to get tired long before you get to 3L of liquids.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Black person you dont know me
2 years ago
Anonymous
Well, he was primarily surviving on fish and other seafood so that provides a decent amount of water in his food.
2 years ago
Anonymous
He was. We wouldn't know how to catch the fish. We'd all fricking die within the first week, because we'd all do something stupid and die slowly and in pain.
>it's important to stay sane >Making a friend with something inanimate will help
That is exactly how you go insane
No. It's no different than talking to yourself, and no one thinks that's insane. Narrating your actions/thoughts is perfectly normal. Giving a ball a face to look at, is hardly a step into insanity.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>We wouldn't know how to catch the fish.
You've never been sea fishing? Not even crab fishing?
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You've never been sea fishing? Not even crab fishing?
You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
You really need to stop pretending to be an expert on survivalism on a taiwanese basket weaving network
Better trained than you. >I don’t know, wading into the water and spearing fish with a pointy stick can’t be all that difficult to figure out
More difficult than you think, plus all failed attempts are wasted energy that could be spent on other tasks. >Somehow people from all over the world figured it out.
What is specialization within a group? You can dedicate people within a tribe, to be fishers, because you have others doing the other tasks. When it's just you, all that time on fishing, isn't spent on water collection, etc. >You maybe.
You for sure.
2 years ago
Anonymous
You aren't trained at all. You're larping on a weaboo website for manchildren because you've played Raft for 1000 hours. Get a life and stop being such a gigantic homosexual, you're embarrassing yourself.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
Figure out what we used to do as kids? Jesus Christ, it's like you had no childhood and continue to have no life experiences.
2 years ago
Anonymous
You really need to stop pretending to be an expert on survivalism on a taiwanese basket weaving network
2 years ago
Anonymous
I don’t know, wading into the water and spearing fish with a pointy stick can’t be all that difficult to figure out. I get the gist of it.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>We wouldn't know how to catch the fish.
Somehow people from all over the world figured it out. >We'd all fricking die within the first week
You maybe.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations, and a broken bone/injury will ruin your chances to live. So you'll only get the coconuts as they fall, as you shouldn't be wasting your energy throwing rocks at the trees either.
People climb trees everyday to get coconuts you idiot. If there is drinking water on top of a tree and none anywhere else you're not going to wait an indefinite amount of time hoping that they start falling just in the nick of time to save your life.
Also your water requirements are shit. Those numbers are for optimal human health, not fighting to stay alive type numbers.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>People climb trees everyday to get coconuts you idiot
And they have access to medical supplies. You won't be able to set your leg, make a cast, and then continue to use your body during recovery. >If there is drinking water on top of a tree and none anywhere else you're not going to wait an indefinite amount of time hoping that they start falling just in the nick of time to save your life.
No, you're going to collect the coconuts that do fall, but spend your mornings collecting water that formed as dew on plants, and seek out other faster sources of water. Like using evaporation/condensation of the ocean water, to remove all the salt. >Also your water requirements are shit. Those numbers are for optimal human health, not fighting to stay alive type numbers.
And you're outside being exposed to the sun, sweating while working your ass off, collecting water, collecting food, collecting wood for fire/shelter, etc. You're going to need a lot of water, it's not far off at all. If anything it's conservative.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations
Sorry but I didn’t even read the rest after this 60 iq trash
2 years ago
Anonymous
you can desalinate the sea water into drinkable water you absolute fricking moronic reddit gorilla Black person youre the dumbest fricking moron ive seen on this website
Water is actually really easy to get now that China has dumped so much trash into the ocean. You can evaporate sea water and collect it in plastic bottles almost immediately on a desert island.
>You can evaporate sea water and collect it in plastic bottles almost immediately on a desert island.
No not really.
Wilson was a hold over from when Tim Allen was going to star in it as the Home Improvement movie. They had to hire Hank's for the role when Allen tried to smuggle 53 lbs of coke on to the fed ex plane set.
Amazing digits wasted on moronation.
>People climb trees everyday to get coconuts you idiot
And they have access to medical supplies. You won't be able to set your leg, make a cast, and then continue to use your body during recovery. >If there is drinking water on top of a tree and none anywhere else you're not going to wait an indefinite amount of time hoping that they start falling just in the nick of time to save your life.
No, you're going to collect the coconuts that do fall, but spend your mornings collecting water that formed as dew on plants, and seek out other faster sources of water. Like using evaporation/condensation of the ocean water, to remove all the salt. >Also your water requirements are shit. Those numbers are for optimal human health, not fighting to stay alive type numbers.
And you're outside being exposed to the sun, sweating while working your ass off, collecting water, collecting food, collecting wood for fire/shelter, etc. You're going to need a lot of water, it's not far off at all. If anything it's conservative.
There is no guarantee that you will break limbs climbing a coconut tree. Again, people do this everyday. Just because you can't figure out how to fish or get coconuts doesn't mean the whole world needs to follow your dumbass advice. You don't know anything about survival strategies.
>You've never been sea fishing? Not even crab fishing?
You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
[...]
Better trained than you. >I don’t know, wading into the water and spearing fish with a pointy stick can’t be all that difficult to figure out
More difficult than you think, plus all failed attempts are wasted energy that could be spent on other tasks. >Somehow people from all over the world figured it out.
What is specialization within a group? You can dedicate people within a tribe, to be fishers, because you have others doing the other tasks. When it's just you, all that time on fishing, isn't spent on water collection, etc. >You maybe.
You for sure.
>You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
Spend weeks trying to learn how to fish? Dude at this point I think you have some kind of learning disability. You remember facts about water and S.O.S. but you have no concept about learning basic skills to take care of yourself.
You can't instantly desalinate water. It takes a while. Also your strategy relies on finding jugs floating in the ocean from China.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>You can't instantly desalinate water
Yeah, actually you can. Salt is heavier than H20, so as the water evaporates, the salt stays behind. All you need is a way of collecting the water droplets as they accumulate and any palm leaf will do. Even I know this shit and I don't purport to be some master survivalist. You're a fraud, just admit it.
2 years ago
Anonymous
if it's so easy why are people literally mining salt from the earth instead of obtaining it this way
also why is fresh water a problem at all for anyone
2 years ago
Anonymous
>if it's so easy why are people literally mining salt from the earth instead of obtaining it this way
Rock salt =/= sea salt. And people do farm sea salt with evaporation.
>also why is fresh water a problem at all for anyone
It's a problem for anyone not near the sea or a river.
Holy frick you are dumb.
2 years ago
Anonymous
why is sea levels rising a big deal then
just more access to easy fresh water for more people
2 years ago
Anonymous
>why is flooding of coastal urban areas a problem
Please, just frick off with this now. It's not even funny any more.
2 years ago
Anonymous
cities can be rebuilt. more coastline is a good thing
2 years ago
Anonymous
Wouldn’t there be less total coastline though?
2 years ago
Anonymous
from a certain perspective, coastline is already infinite, so does it really matter?
2 years ago
Anonymous
have a nice day please
2 years ago
Anonymous
Saying please doesn’t mean you’re being polite anon
2 years ago
Anonymous
you beg like a hobo.
have a nice day.
2 years ago
Anonymous
you didn't say please
2 years ago
Anonymous
i dont have to youre a troony and the odds of you killing yourself are forever in my favor its bound to happen eventually
2 years ago
Anonymous
you beg like a hobo.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Okay, now I get it, you're just a troll.
But for everyone else, this is how you desalinate water using just the shit that ends up washed up on island beaches (you can trade out the can for another plastic bottle as well).
2 years ago
Anonymous
you dont even need plastic
you can literally desalinate water with cloth sand and rocks
2 years ago
Anonymous
>waste an entire bottle of water and can of soda just to drink an almost-full-gutter amount of water
how is this a smart idea? this seems like a really detailed "troll physics" thing
2 years ago
Anonymous
Drink them first moron
2 years ago
Anonymous
The most isolated, desolate, untouched beaches in the world are covered in plastic rope and bottles.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Some, not all. It also depends on which side of the island you are on. I've lived on islands. Not every island looks like that and not all parts of the ones that do have washed up trash. If your entire survival strategy is hoping you can find debris from China then you're not much of a survivalist. You'd know these things if you knew what you were talking about at all.
Also like I said before, which your fancy diagram doesn't refute is that desalination with crude tools takes a long time. You claim you need 3L of water daily, well you're not getting that from a coke can and a mashed up plastic bottle out in mild sun. Keep larping homosexual lol
2 years ago
Anonymous
>n-not all islands
Yes all islands and every beach. The only islands that don't are the ones that are regularly cleaned. You're a poser.
2 years ago
Anonymous
>I will search for coke cans instead of knocking down coconuts because I'm a scared little b***h.
Ok you won. Bye.
>There is no guarantee that you will break limbs climbing a coconut tree
Sure, but it's survival. Tree climbing is risky. You avoid risk in these situations. Not take them. People that take them, die. >Again, people do this everyday
With access to medical supplies and doctors, and not survival. >Just because you can't figure out how to fish or get coconuts doesn't mean the whole world needs to follow your dumbass advice.
Go catch a fish, with nothing but the tools you can craft with an ice skate. Time yourself, from start of tool creation, to fish caught. Don't eat or drink anything during that time. Spend it all outside with minimal clothing. >You don't know anything about survival strategies.
Except I do. >Spend weeks trying to learn how to fish?
Spend weeks crafting the tools, etc. You won't be able to dedicate entire days to fishing. You maybe get to fish for an hour or two per day. Then you will need to spend time on other tasks, like water collection, wood collection, shelter repairs, etc. The way we fish now, isn't how you will fish for survival. You can't.
Anyways, you're all fricking moronic. I'm gone, not wasting more time in this thread telling you all about the difficulties of actual survival vs causal tree climbing and fishing.
>Go catch a fish, with nothing but the tools you can craft with an ice skate. Time yourself, from start of tool creation, to fish caught. Don't eat or drink anything during that time. Spend it all outside with minimal clothing.
I live by beach and can easily catch small crabs with a sharp stick. I could also do it naked if I really wanted to. Same with clam diggin', its pretty straight forward stuff.
2 years ago
Anonymous
ive caught small fish with my hands when i was five the anon is literally and unironically just moronic
2 years ago
Anonymous
I am this guy's neighbor, and he is not lying. He is also not allowed near children because of the naked crab stick shit.
I would inscribe a bunch of my movie ideas, particularly stuff involving my fetishes that are unlikely to ever get big budget movies. If I am ever found, those stories are going to become famous and I increase the chance that they get big budget adaptations, or at least feature in fantasy sequences in the movie based on my life.
Not him but I grew up in California and my hair was bleach blonde until I moved to Washington and over the next 1-3 years it turned brown. Puberty might have also had something to do with it I suppose.
Pretty sure your hair color is set well before puberty, anon. What the frick are you talking about?
2 years ago
Anonymous
Non white detected
2 years ago
Anonymous
Your hair color CAN change, but that happens when you’re like five, not twelve, you dunce.
2 years ago
Anonymous
my hair colour and eye colour changes based on my longitude, im 100% stone cold aryan you filthy fricking Black person
2 years ago
Anonymous
Blonde hair becoming slightly darker ≠ a complete color change, moron.
2 years ago
Anonymous
shut up Black person the whiteboys are talking
2 years ago
Anonymous
Your hair can change over the entire course of your life, not him but you're an idiot and probably not white like he said
I'm Slavic
Born blonde
By teens I was dirty brown , but during summers due to the sea salt and sun it went blonde again
Over time now, my hair has gone black as I'm into 30s like my dad's hair
And I'm already starting to grey due to my mom's early grey genetics
Tldr Slavs and white people can have brown hair turn blonde due to sun and water exposure
2 years ago
Anonymous
>Tldr Slavs and white people can have brown hair turn blonde due to sun and water exposure
That's what he said you fricking dunce.
2 years ago
Anonymous
Your hair color CAN change, but that happens when you’re like five, not twelve, you dunce.
Not him but my hair went from a very light blonde and perfectly straight until I hit puberty, then it darkened to a dirty blonde and became curly. Hormones man.
I think the best thing you could do would be to clear a shit load of bush and trees so that it spells out “sos”. Eventually a google sattelite would take a photo of the island and would see the SOS message. Someone might send out a search party at that point. I’d also have a few “beacons of Gondor” set up at the top of the mountain, like 4 or 5, and I would keep my main base out there. Every night I would scan the horizon for ship lights and if I ever saw one I would light a beacon.
>Every night I would
pass out from exhaustion, otherwise you're not working enough, and you will die. Night time in survival isn't fun time, but sleep time. You'll be waking up a dawn, dusk will be bedtime.
Should spell out the n word or draw a swastika. You will be arrested for hate speech but at least you’d get off the island faster than just writing out sos or sus
>I think the best thing you could do would be to clear a shit load of bush and trees so that it spells out “sos”. Eventually a google sattelite would take a photo of the island and would see the SOS message.
Not really. Google only updates maps for desolate locations on their free tier once every blue moon. Even then what are the chances of someone scanning that location of the ocean just because? Then what are the chances of them seeing your message? Also clearing dense bush with no tools is practically impossible. It's not like clearing weeds from your garden.
Sure, imagine doing all of this with a daily intake of 500-900 calories from berries, nuts, seashells and maybe some dumb little fish, all of wich requires time and energy to catch.
You'd last maybe 1.5 months then you'll be so weak and tired to the point you can't even get up in the morning
google earth maps are filled with plane imagery and no planes flew above there
this is why some parts of gearth remain the same for years, because they couldnt be bothered to pay for another flight, if it really were satelite images youd get them from further away instead of a painting at high lattitude the topo view you can get as a picture without being GANned comes from a plane, plus it would update automatically AND consistently if it came from satelites
bonus : noone has satelites and they are made up bullshit satelites literally do not exist
I've fricking lived this shit for fifteen years now. Worst case is death? Struggling against the forces of nature would be more dignity than I fricking deserve, frankly.
My life, and the lives of many others here, are fricking nothing compared to what Hanks went through in Castaway.
>ESL >larping as military >larping as a citizen of USA >doesn't know things that 5yos know how to do >responds to everyone with separate posts the second the spam timer wears off
did this pajeet just lose his job at amazon or what?
This thread is what happens when liberals made The Boy Scouts some sort of taboo and sued it out of existence.
Now you have limp wristed homosexuals in threads like this saying it's impossible to survive.
I'm an eagle scout and I can still navigate by the stars, the sun, make a sun dial, make flint and stone fires (or a bow fire), and know tons of knots and basics about lavatory (potty) health in the wilderness (avoid game/disease), etc.
I'm sorry all you morons grew up in blue states or European urban centres.
What are you on about? The Boy Scouts are still a thing and your "impressive skills" are common knowledge. I'm sure there's 50 step by step videos of how to do any of those things on Youtube. Stop trying so hard to make everything political.
>I'm sure there's 50 step by step videos of how to do any of those things on Youtube.
Oh awesome, they'll be useful when you're stuck on a desert island, then...
You can't join the scouts if you're stuck on a desert island either, so either way it has to be knowledge you ascertained before you ended up stranded. Use your brain.
Again, proves how disingenuous you are. Boy Scouts made prepared men, as did actual (pre1970s in principle) male fraternities.
Then along came you liberals, and had to dismantle such "patriarch" institutions.
Again, if males had more fathers/after school substitutes for male bonding and life skills, you'd see less people googling "how to install a GFCI outlet" than you do now, or anything else
Those skills come from early life, not googling, this stems to all types of education
Fricking blueshill
>The Boy Scouts are still a thing
Boy, you don't know a thing either. I bet you're some sort of fence sitter too.
Bitch, please, the Boy Scouts got sued out of existence and it isn't the same Boy Scouts I was in 20+ years ago nor the Boy Scouts it was for my dad 40+ years ago
Go frick yourself you disingenuous frick.
Also, people are more moronic than ever with smart phones; you think these people will be able to YouTube survival skills on an island? This shit was just basic skills 100 years ago that you were expected to know or due to industry, but it's now all forgotten due to tech or society or 1st world countries being mostly service, not production based and living comfortably in nice HVAC regulated housing (funny enough, my job/jobs in the past have been wood stoves and HVAC/Furnace/Boilers).
>I said the Boy Scouts didn't exist anymore which is completely untrue so I now have to move the goalposts to "well it still exists but it doesn't count anymore"
Yeah you're definitely a conservative
He's saying he already went to the boy scouts as a kid you dummy. You're telling him you would learn the skills after you're already lost and stuck somewhere. And from YouTube apparently.
Ignore him, he's some moronic centrist or some blueshill who will beg and plead someone to change his tire when he's stuck in the middle of nowhere when he has no reception with his 5G iPhone.
And yes, he keeps moving the goalposts.
>I'm sure there's 50 step by step videos of how to do any of those things on Youtube.
Oh awesome, they'll be useful when you're stuck on a desert island, then...
I figured it went without saying that you'd have to watch them *before* you got stranded on a desert island because I forgot that I was talking to complete idiots.
>I figured it went without saying that you'd have to watch them *before* you got stranded on a desert islan
Holy shit you're stupid. You can't learn survival skills just by watching some yt videos. You need to actually practice it and with enough times of success to be efficient at a skill. Saying you now know how to do some life saving task because you remember what you saw on YouTube is the most pretentious shit ever.
>Saying you now know how to do some life saving task because you remember what you saw on YouTube is the most pretentious shit ever.
So is "I'm a survival expert because I have merit badges." You're not a real man, want to know how I know? You're belly aching about liberals on Cinemaphile like you have a vegana.
2 years ago
Anonymous
There's a difference between being taught once and those who actually use them every day
I live in the mountains of Colorado some of us have to brush up on basic skills in case of emergency where there's no power or gas or you're stuck on a shit road
Frick off moron, the point is weak ass men are the current problem of the world and it stems from liberal bullshit
2 years ago
Anonymous
You sure complain like a weak ass man. Oh, and you hate liberals but live in Colorado? Kek.
That's why I keep calling this poster a blueshill because he's an idiot, thinking watching YouTube is anywhere close to actually practicing of
Knots
Sundials
Construction of rudimentary tents/shade
Primitive hunting or knife tools
Sharpening techniques
Wood chopping techniques
Fire building with different types of wood, wet or dry or types of different wood/plants
Desalination
Etc
2 years ago
Anonymous
I would not trust you to operate a toilet without an assistant.
2 years ago
Anonymous
I was also in the scouts, I also know how to build a fire and tie a bowline hitch and so on. I've also fished and chopped wood at my grandfather's cabin for the better part of my life. I just don't brag about it because I'm not a loser who is desperately in need of a substitute for a personality.
boats came by a lot but if you pay attention it is implied the island is a metaphor, so they cannot see him because uneducated sailors do not know about literature.
>Tom Hanks wants to get back to his wife >when he gets back after about 4 years she has a new husband and a kid
Lets say the kid is 2. That means she probably knew the guy for a year+ before she married him. So it took her under 12 months to grieve and get over Hanks. And that's not even counting the possibility that she dated a few other guys before settling for her husband. Women in a nutshell.
The rules are that respect is earned thru virtue, acting like a prostitute gets you treated like prostitute.
>Tom Hanks wants to get back to his wife >when he gets back after about 4 years she has a new husband and a kid
Lets say the kid is 2. That means she probably knew the guy for a year+ before she married him. So it took her under 12 months to grieve and get over Hanks. And that's not even counting the possibility that she dated a few other guys before settling for her husband. Women in a nutshell.
Dying gives roasties the ultimate "ick"
Women can't grieve.
Because no one in this thread (including me) has any actual experience with survival situations, so they all have to fill in the gaps with their gut feelings or anecdotes or whatever, so it's basically people spilling their imaginations
I encourage anons to prove me wrong by starting their posts with "I was in a survival situation when ___" and telling what happened and what they know.
I'd have built a really nice house and I'm sure it wouldn't have taken 4 years for some government to swing buy to fine me for not obtaining the proper permits.
Lol, what a weak ass quitter homosexual. I feel like I would be perfectly capable of surviving, up until the emergency dental self-surgery. I honestly, probably couldn't do that shit.
I would just sleep
Assuming I developed the same sort of survival skills, it would honestly be better than my current NEET existence. I’d be in better shape, eating a healthier diet and not drinking alcohol.
Youd still be a NEET. Youd just probably die a lot quicker, and lonelier, but without any booze.
Oversocialized b***h homie
believe it or not being stranded on some bumfrick island alone isn't the same as locking yourself in your room all day b***hmade larper
Look at this homie talkin loud, pull up then b***h homie
if they ever do a remake and wilson has a voice I hope you get it.
if they ever re release aids, I hope you get it
>1500 days
>tfw spent double that time barely leaving my apartment, watching anime and jacking off
You had an abundance of stimuli on your computer. Your computer is basically your Wilson though.
A computer is way more than a Wilson. With Wilson, you're talking to yourself. With your computer, you have the internet to talk to the world.
The person I replied said watching anime. That's not talking to people. Either way you're being an autist. My point was that he mainly used an object to maintain sanity.
Ok, so no socializing on the internet. You still have a source of entertainment that isn't talking to yourself.
Hence the Wilson analogy, dipshit.
Wilson was a hold over from when Tim Allen was going to star in it as the Home Improvement movie. They had to hire Hank's for the role when Allen tried to smuggle 53 lbs of coke on to the fed ex plane set.
schizo quads
KEK based
you made a troony mad it seems
It's funny how I get into fights with my computer the same way he got into fights with Wilson.
it would be even funnier if you did it on a raft.
I don't believe that you know how to make rope.
Living alone on an island would be much better than living in this absurd technoindustrial hellscape.
You wouldn't last a day without the internet, clearly.
Based.
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.
why did he do it
Couldn't think of a good use it for. Then just loneliness
you just know
Survival training teaches you that it's important to stay sane. Making a friend with something inanimate will help. We naturally anthropomorph objects, so giving it a face is just the logical step.
It honestly feels not very convincing in this case as he was acting a little too calm and rational there
Most definitely, but it's a movie where we still have to like the main character, as he's the only character for most of the movie. You can't have him be too crazy. Talking to a volleyball is about all they could do.
>it's important to stay sane
Yes. Talking to yourself isn't insane. Having something to make eye contact with, even illusory eye contact with, is going to help keep your from losing your mental state. Humans are very simple animals.
Talking to a beach ball with a smiley face on it *is* insane, anon. That's the important detail you seem to be missing.
He's talking to himself, with a ball to look at. It's not insane, don't you remember the stuff he says? Rational thoughts.
yeah, him crying and screaming like his mother died when the inanimate beach ball got swept away by the current was perfectly rational
>it's important to stay sane
>Making a friend with something inanimate will help
That is exactly how you go insane
How'd the blood stay red?
He would repaint him.
I'd hang you after a week too.
in the novel the movie it is based on it is revealed that the package he never opened contained icecubes... the one think he missed most of all. He could have had ice the whole time.
The director said the unopened package was a satellite phone. The book doesn't matter.
in the musical it was also ice.
nah that’s what it was in original draft but I think in the last draft it was homemade hot sauces
It was a joke.
>ice
>the whole time
he could have also used to to freeze other water and walk out of there.
wat
he could have used the ice cubes to freeze the water and then walk home on the ice.
homie what the frick are you talking about
He’s just being a silly billy.
You thinking of ice 9
KEK
How is that funny to you?
it is absurd. Can't you ask your handler?
Yeah man laugh out loud hilarious lol its just so wacky and funny that he could use ice cubes to freeze water to walk on haha
You are right. It is better if you just sit there and be a fat smelly prick.
That joke is funny, you will take your meds and you will have sex
The joke is not funny. How moronic do you have to be to think thats funny.
>KEK HE COULD USE ICE CUBES TO FREEZE THE OCEAN!!!!!!!!!!!! MFW!!!!!
Post body
Post an example of what you think is a funny joke
I don't want to see his body.
You know that scene in Robocop where he meets Lewis for the first time and she says she'll drive and opens the driver's seat door but then he takes the seat instead of her and makes a crack about it?
That was a funny joke.
A new immigrant to the country of Germany is walking down the street. He is so incredibly grateful for being able to live in such a great country that he wants to thank the first German he sees. He stops a man walking by and thanks the man. "Oh no, I'm not German, I'm syrian" says the man. After apologizing he stops the next man he sees and tries to thank him. "Sorry sir, I'm not German, I'm Somalian". He apologizes again and although slightly frustrated, continues to look for a german to thank. He tries one more time and stops another stranger. "Sorry, I'm not german" says the man, "I'm Kenyan". The immigrant is very upset now. "I just want to thank a German for such a great opportunity to live in such a great country! Why is this so hard?! Where are all the germans?!" "Probably working" says the Kenyan.
>put icecube in water
>water around it freezes
>step onto ice
>pick up ice cube
>place ice cube a bit in front of you
>water freezes
>take another step
>repeat
problem?
no problem but you'd want to have gloves.
Are you yankin my chain? It would just be water. You would have to live in like eastern russia to send ice cubes through the mail
nope... package full of ice cubes. The exact thing he missed the most.
It was a large neon green dildo. Exactly what he had craved the entire time.
that is also from the book and what knocked his tooth out. They changed it to an ice skate in the movie as a throwback to the ice cubes. The book and film changed a lot from when it was about Hone Improvement.
couldn't one just whittle a dildo?
you can't whittle a dildo in a survival situation. You might cut your dick while using it as a model. Then you'd be israeli and good fricking luck finding anything kosher to eat.
He thought his fiance would wait more than a month for him.
I'd last at least a year assuming I could survive.
>Chuck
Explains how Sneed took over the feed and seed business
you get the opportunity to challenge yourself against mother nature and just quit? you do not deserve to live another day right now
honestly, it is a terrifying fate. you get bit by something or scraped, develop a festering wound, and go out in agonizing pain, parched, starved and hallucinating, and it lasts for a week while you're eaten by wild animals.
The island he was on didn’t seem to have much in the way of dangerous wildlife.
There are always bugs that will eat you alive once your strength is sapped from injuries. It is a death by a thousand cuts.
Not a Black person in sight! Paradise
I'm all for sending all racists to each their own deserted island. I'd count that as a win/win. You get to enjoy your solitude, completely free of minorities, and everyone would get to enjoy living without you.
that's a lot of skin cancer
For you
The sun is no joke, that's why you still have to wear clothes on a tropical island
I find her to be super hot in both photos, I would roughly shoot my seed in her every night
bet she fricks like an animal now
How do you end up lost for a month in USA? Just pick a direction and walk. You'll find civilization in a few days, tops.
where are you from?
>How many miles is Alabama across?
>The state's 52,423 square miles are configured in a length of 330 miles and a width of 150 miles at their longest and widest expanse.
Let's say that you aren't rushing, and only walk 10 miles per day, so there's still enough time to find food/etc. You'll find civilization before a month.
you didnt answer the question
USA. It doesn't change anything though.
no you aren't
Actually due to humans having a dominant "heavy" foot you'll just walk around in literal circles thinking you're going perfectly straight. That's why using something to orient yourself like the sun is so important
frick off with your aztec sun worship propaganda.
>people who use compasses worship magnetic poles
good lord there are some shitty hot takes in this thread
you think there is a lord.
It's a turn of phrase. Figurative, not literal. You're the lord of autism.
then you owe me taxes!
did you stop taking your medication or are you loopy from being on a new medication?
what are you the fricking census? Piss off narc.
Wait, are you trying to be funny? If so you aren't nearly as funny as you think you are.
trusting your sense of humor is not the right way to go.
Where did I say that you shouldn't use something to orient yourself? But once you picked your direction, you stick to it. In a few days, you'll find civilization.
>You aren't trained at all.
Except I am. From military, not video games.
>Figure out what we used to do as kids?
Something you did for fun, with a full stomach, after lots of sleep, water, etc. VS something you're doing for survival.
Very different. You're going to be tired, sore, hungry, thirst, hot, etc.
Where am I from then?
>bro I was in the military that's why I'm a survivalist expert
stop lying to strangers on the internet. the fact that you even think you do anything other than stare at screens all day if you're in the military shows you watch too many Rambo movies
I don't know, but people from America generally don't tell people they are from "USA" when asked where they are from. You also leave out certain words in your sentences that identify you as ESL. You are a good ESL but your entire manner of speech is too textbook to be natural.
You remember that reality show when it was men vs women and women ended up getting lost and making a circle 3 times trying to get out of the woods? That was with camera crews helping them.
>After she recovered she gave a strange story about her ordeal, claiming she thinks she was drugged and left naked in the middle of the woods. She says she survived from eating mushrooms and berries and drinking muddy stream water, but there are many who don’t believe her story.
hmmm
Damn ive heard of roast beef but this is ridiculous!
QRD?
It’s a reconfiguration of what European people used to look like <2000BC Spoiler ; they aren’t white
it's clearly a picture of some woman who survived in the wilderness, I was just wondering what the story was
Yes but it happened so long ago how could we know? There weren’t even historical records back then
There are pictures of it you bizarre lunatic. As in pictures taken with a camera. Stop replying to my posts.
you don't play records on a camera you leotard.
Unironically take your meds.
What’s your problem? You asked a question I answered
No, you did not answer my question.
look up irony and cut yourself.
Would
lol
Imagine running across a nude woman in the woods.
I'd think it was a skinwalker.
>she's high on meth
>no one will believe whatever story she tells
What do you do?
>tfw no qt3.14 methhead nudist gf
Okay so why did this fricker record himself doing this? Or was he hacked and they just watched him through webcam and saved whatever was useable?
She's apparently also blind
that explains how she chose her tattoo.
Made for WHG wiener.
I really dislike coconut and the only good fish is fried
>make coconut oil
>fry the fish
A whole week without Minecraft? Doubt you'd last that long
It would be a fun challenge, quit virtue signaling with your depression. Its cringe.
With what?
also, that's a kino Lem story
>get AI assistant earpiece
>implanted in your ear
>seems cool
>go on cruise
>get shipwrecked
>stranded on island
>your "friend" immediately tells you to have a nice day
>constantly justifying suicide as the only possible right action given the astronomical odds of rescue
>trying to bully you into doing it
Would have made a kino episode of the twilight zone.
Too bad the planet crash episode was about listening to podcasts. What you suggested would require teh writer to not be a hack.
You wouldn't last 48 hours without tiktok and netflix
I would die of starvation. Taking my life is the easy way out. If I managed to survive a plane crash in a storm in the middle of the ocean I'd at least take that second chance at life and make it work somehow. Try to hunt, build/find shelter, fish get to know the lay of the land. It would be hard but I'd at least try.
You'd die of dehydration long before staving. You can go for a few weeks without much problem without food, a few months if you're a fatass.
coconut milk
How many coconuts do you think it will take, before you figure out how to open it without spilling all the liquid? More than just a few.
After that? Dehydration. You won't find that many coconuts.
how many coconut trees have you seen in real life?
>Conservatively, each tree would produce about 200 coconuts in a year, and the nuts would increase as the trees mature in age, bearing fruits for no fewer than 60 years.
You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations, and a broken bone/injury will ruin your chances to live. So you'll only get the coconuts as they fall, as you shouldn't be wasting your energy throwing rocks at the trees either.
Coconut milk is a stop-gap for keeping you alive. Not your main source of fluids, as you're going to need more than the normal 2L of water. Due to working much harder, and not getting the normal ~1L of water from regular foods. You're going to need to drink closer to 3L of water per day.
Now, how much time do you think it's going to take, for you to open one? And the second? You're going to get tired long before you get to 3L of liquids.
Black person you dont know me
Well, he was primarily surviving on fish and other seafood so that provides a decent amount of water in his food.
He was. We wouldn't know how to catch the fish. We'd all fricking die within the first week, because we'd all do something stupid and die slowly and in pain.
No. It's no different than talking to yourself, and no one thinks that's insane. Narrating your actions/thoughts is perfectly normal. Giving a ball a face to look at, is hardly a step into insanity.
>We wouldn't know how to catch the fish.
You've never been sea fishing? Not even crab fishing?
>You've never been sea fishing? Not even crab fishing?
You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
Better trained than you.
>I don’t know, wading into the water and spearing fish with a pointy stick can’t be all that difficult to figure out
More difficult than you think, plus all failed attempts are wasted energy that could be spent on other tasks.
>Somehow people from all over the world figured it out.
What is specialization within a group? You can dedicate people within a tribe, to be fishers, because you have others doing the other tasks. When it's just you, all that time on fishing, isn't spent on water collection, etc.
>You maybe.
You for sure.
You aren't trained at all. You're larping on a weaboo website for manchildren because you've played Raft for 1000 hours. Get a life and stop being such a gigantic homosexual, you're embarrassing yourself.
>You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
Figure out what we used to do as kids? Jesus Christ, it's like you had no childhood and continue to have no life experiences.
You really need to stop pretending to be an expert on survivalism on a taiwanese basket weaving network
I don’t know, wading into the water and spearing fish with a pointy stick can’t be all that difficult to figure out. I get the gist of it.
>We wouldn't know how to catch the fish.
Somehow people from all over the world figured it out.
>We'd all fricking die within the first week
You maybe.
>You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations, and a broken bone/injury will ruin your chances to live. So you'll only get the coconuts as they fall, as you shouldn't be wasting your energy throwing rocks at the trees either.
People climb trees everyday to get coconuts you idiot. If there is drinking water on top of a tree and none anywhere else you're not going to wait an indefinite amount of time hoping that they start falling just in the nick of time to save your life.
Also your water requirements are shit. Those numbers are for optimal human health, not fighting to stay alive type numbers.
>People climb trees everyday to get coconuts you idiot
And they have access to medical supplies. You won't be able to set your leg, make a cast, and then continue to use your body during recovery.
>If there is drinking water on top of a tree and none anywhere else you're not going to wait an indefinite amount of time hoping that they start falling just in the nick of time to save your life.
No, you're going to collect the coconuts that do fall, but spend your mornings collecting water that formed as dew on plants, and seek out other faster sources of water. Like using evaporation/condensation of the ocean water, to remove all the salt.
>Also your water requirements are shit. Those numbers are for optimal human health, not fighting to stay alive type numbers.
And you're outside being exposed to the sun, sweating while working your ass off, collecting water, collecting food, collecting wood for fire/shelter, etc. You're going to need a lot of water, it's not far off at all. If anything it's conservative.
>You won't be climbing trees to get the coconuts, since that's very dangerous during survival situations
Sorry but I didn’t even read the rest after this 60 iq trash
you can desalinate the sea water into drinkable water you absolute fricking moronic reddit gorilla Black person youre the dumbest fricking moron ive seen on this website
Water is actually really easy to get now that China has dumped so much trash into the ocean. You can evaporate sea water and collect it in plastic bottles almost immediately on a desert island.
>You can evaporate sea water and collect it in plastic bottles almost immediately on a desert island.
No not really.
Amazing digits wasted on moronation.
There is no guarantee that you will break limbs climbing a coconut tree. Again, people do this everyday. Just because you can't figure out how to fish or get coconuts doesn't mean the whole world needs to follow your dumbass advice. You don't know anything about survival strategies.
>You're going to spend weeks trying to figure out.
Spend weeks trying to learn how to fish? Dude at this point I think you have some kind of learning disability. You remember facts about water and S.O.S. but you have no concept about learning basic skills to take care of yourself.
>No not really.
Yes really.
You can't instantly desalinate water. It takes a while. Also your strategy relies on finding jugs floating in the ocean from China.
>You can't instantly desalinate water
Yeah, actually you can. Salt is heavier than H20, so as the water evaporates, the salt stays behind. All you need is a way of collecting the water droplets as they accumulate and any palm leaf will do. Even I know this shit and I don't purport to be some master survivalist. You're a fraud, just admit it.
if it's so easy why are people literally mining salt from the earth instead of obtaining it this way
also why is fresh water a problem at all for anyone
>if it's so easy why are people literally mining salt from the earth instead of obtaining it this way
Rock salt =/= sea salt. And people do farm sea salt with evaporation.
>also why is fresh water a problem at all for anyone
It's a problem for anyone not near the sea or a river.
Holy frick you are dumb.
why is sea levels rising a big deal then
just more access to easy fresh water for more people
>why is flooding of coastal urban areas a problem
Please, just frick off with this now. It's not even funny any more.
cities can be rebuilt. more coastline is a good thing
Wouldn’t there be less total coastline though?
from a certain perspective, coastline is already infinite, so does it really matter?
have a nice day please
Saying please doesn’t mean you’re being polite anon
have a nice day.
you didn't say please
i dont have to youre a troony and the odds of you killing yourself are forever in my favor its bound to happen eventually
you beg like a hobo.
Okay, now I get it, you're just a troll.
But for everyone else, this is how you desalinate water using just the shit that ends up washed up on island beaches (you can trade out the can for another plastic bottle as well).
you dont even need plastic
you can literally desalinate water with cloth sand and rocks
>waste an entire bottle of water and can of soda just to drink an almost-full-gutter amount of water
how is this a smart idea? this seems like a really detailed "troll physics" thing
Drink them first moron
The most isolated, desolate, untouched beaches in the world are covered in plastic rope and bottles.
Some, not all. It also depends on which side of the island you are on. I've lived on islands. Not every island looks like that and not all parts of the ones that do have washed up trash. If your entire survival strategy is hoping you can find debris from China then you're not much of a survivalist. You'd know these things if you knew what you were talking about at all.
Also like I said before, which your fancy diagram doesn't refute is that desalination with crude tools takes a long time. You claim you need 3L of water daily, well you're not getting that from a coke can and a mashed up plastic bottle out in mild sun. Keep larping homosexual lol
>n-not all islands
Yes all islands and every beach. The only islands that don't are the ones that are regularly cleaned. You're a poser.
>I will search for coke cans instead of knocking down coconuts because I'm a scared little b***h.
Ok you won. Bye.
>There is no guarantee that you will break limbs climbing a coconut tree
Sure, but it's survival. Tree climbing is risky. You avoid risk in these situations. Not take them. People that take them, die.
>Again, people do this everyday
With access to medical supplies and doctors, and not survival.
>Just because you can't figure out how to fish or get coconuts doesn't mean the whole world needs to follow your dumbass advice.
Go catch a fish, with nothing but the tools you can craft with an ice skate. Time yourself, from start of tool creation, to fish caught. Don't eat or drink anything during that time. Spend it all outside with minimal clothing.
>You don't know anything about survival strategies.
Except I do.
>Spend weeks trying to learn how to fish?
Spend weeks crafting the tools, etc. You won't be able to dedicate entire days to fishing. You maybe get to fish for an hour or two per day. Then you will need to spend time on other tasks, like water collection, wood collection, shelter repairs, etc. The way we fish now, isn't how you will fish for survival. You can't.
Anyways, you're all fricking moronic. I'm gone, not wasting more time in this thread telling you all about the difficulties of actual survival vs causal tree climbing and fishing.
>dude climbing trees is way too dangerous
everyone get a load of this guy
In fairness, a coconut tree would be much harder to climb seeing as there aren’t branches or anything.
how can someone this moronic still be able to write
>look at me im so smart i would die within a week
have a nice day moron
>Go catch a fish, with nothing but the tools you can craft with an ice skate. Time yourself, from start of tool creation, to fish caught. Don't eat or drink anything during that time. Spend it all outside with minimal clothing.
I live by beach and can easily catch small crabs with a sharp stick. I could also do it naked if I really wanted to. Same with clam diggin', its pretty straight forward stuff.
ive caught small fish with my hands when i was five the anon is literally and unironically just moronic
I am this guy's neighbor, and he is not lying. He is also not allowed near children because of the naked crab stick shit.
>spends years alone on an island
>doesn’t make a sandwoman
I would make a sand dakimakura
is the korean version better?
The ending is better in the Korean version
I would inscribe a bunch of my movie ideas, particularly stuff involving my fetishes that are unlikely to ever get big budget movies. If I am ever found, those stories are going to become famous and I increase the chance that they get big budget adaptations, or at least feature in fantasy sequences in the movie based on my life.
He tested that, it didn't work. Enjoy slowly dying in major pain.
Why did he dye his hair?
He was in the sun
Damaged by the sun
the band sugar ray was big at the time and a lot of dudes got frosted tips.
BLEACHED
He was on flavour island.
The sun apparently bleaches your hair.
Sun and salt water. That’s why surfers get that natural bleached look.
No fricking way. So if you lived near the beach and swam surfed a lot, your hair would turn blonde?
not you tyrone. Also you do not swim.
Not him but I grew up in California and my hair was bleach blonde until I moved to Washington and over the next 1-3 years it turned brown. Puberty might have also had something to do with it I suppose.
Wow, I had no idea. I thought blonde people just liked surfing more than others for some weird reason
Pretty sure your hair color is set well before puberty, anon. What the frick are you talking about?
Non white detected
Your hair color CAN change, but that happens when you’re like five, not twelve, you dunce.
my hair colour and eye colour changes based on my longitude, im 100% stone cold aryan you filthy fricking Black person
Blonde hair becoming slightly darker ≠ a complete color change, moron.
shut up Black person the whiteboys are talking
Your hair can change over the entire course of your life, not him but you're an idiot and probably not white like he said
I'm Slavic
Born blonde
By teens I was dirty brown , but during summers due to the sea salt and sun it went blonde again
Over time now, my hair has gone black as I'm into 30s like my dad's hair
And I'm already starting to grey due to my mom's early grey genetics
Tldr Slavs and white people can have brown hair turn blonde due to sun and water exposure
>Tldr Slavs and white people can have brown hair turn blonde due to sun and water exposure
That's what he said you fricking dunce.
Not him but my hair went from a very light blonde and perfectly straight until I hit puberty, then it darkened to a dirty blonde and became curly. Hormones man.
Photo bleaching
I think the best thing you could do would be to clear a shit load of bush and trees so that it spells out “sos”. Eventually a google sattelite would take a photo of the island and would see the SOS message. Someone might send out a search party at that point. I’d also have a few “beacons of Gondor” set up at the top of the mountain, like 4 or 5, and I would keep my main base out there. Every night I would scan the horizon for ship lights and if I ever saw one I would light a beacon.
me too, and i'd build a chest to keep all my diamonds in. Shut the frick up survival game moron.
your comment made me laugh
why would you want to escape paradise?
>Every night I would
pass out from exhaustion, otherwise you're not working enough, and you will die. Night time in survival isn't fun time, but sleep time. You'll be waking up a dawn, dusk will be bedtime.
You should spell out "sus" instead loool
Should spell out the n word or draw a swastika. You will be arrested for hate speech but at least you’d get off the island faster than just writing out sos or sus
>I think the best thing you could do would be to clear a shit load of bush and trees so that it spells out “sos”. Eventually a google sattelite would take a photo of the island and would see the SOS message.
Not really. Google only updates maps for desolate locations on their free tier once every blue moon. Even then what are the chances of someone scanning that location of the ocean just because? Then what are the chances of them seeing your message? Also clearing dense bush with no tools is practically impossible. It's not like clearing weeds from your garden.
>I think the best thing you could do would be to clear a shit load of bush and trees
With what tools, stupid?
Sure, imagine doing all of this with a daily intake of 500-900 calories from berries, nuts, seashells and maybe some dumb little fish, all of wich requires time and energy to catch.
You'd last maybe 1.5 months then you'll be so weak and tired to the point you can't even get up in the morning
That's why it's important yo dirty bulk my friend.
google earth maps are filled with plane imagery and no planes flew above there
this is why some parts of gearth remain the same for years, because they couldnt be bothered to pay for another flight, if it really were satelite images youd get them from further away instead of a painting at high lattitude the topo view you can get as a picture without being GANned comes from a plane, plus it would update automatically AND consistently if it came from satelites
bonus : noone has satelites and they are made up bullshit satelites literally do not exist
Asuming there are no predators in the island, you are right
I would try and burn the entire place down
>no phone
>no internet
>no people
>eat nothing but freshly caught crab and fish
>get super ripped
sounds like fricking paradise to me
Go for it
Yeah it would suck not being able to watch movies this long
bump
I would just craft bro
I would cry
Then I would pass out and then pass away
every thread about this movie devolves into armchair pseudoscientists bickering about dehydration
I've fricking lived this shit for fifteen years now. Worst case is death? Struggling against the forces of nature would be more dignity than I fricking deserve, frankly.
My life, and the lives of many others here, are fricking nothing compared to what Hanks went through in Castaway.
If you're on his tiny island i wouldn't but if it was slightly larger with more vegetation i could prolly survive a couple of months.
>fat autstic american can't imagine himself in a survival situation therefore no one can survive
Is this the same autist that was responding to everyone in the Thing thread about them becoming real humans?
>ESL
>larping as military
>larping as a citizen of USA
>doesn't know things that 5yos know how to do
>responds to everyone with separate posts the second the spam timer wears off
did this pajeet just lose his job at amazon or what?
This thread is what happens when liberals made The Boy Scouts some sort of taboo and sued it out of existence.
Now you have limp wristed homosexuals in threads like this saying it's impossible to survive.
I'm an eagle scout and I can still navigate by the stars, the sun, make a sun dial, make flint and stone fires (or a bow fire), and know tons of knots and basics about lavatory (potty) health in the wilderness (avoid game/disease), etc.
I'm sorry all you morons grew up in blue states or European urban centres.
why didn't you carry frodo to mordor you fricking coward?
What are you on about? The Boy Scouts are still a thing and your "impressive skills" are common knowledge. I'm sure there's 50 step by step videos of how to do any of those things on Youtube. Stop trying so hard to make everything political.
>I'm sure there's 50 step by step videos of how to do any of those things on Youtube.
Oh awesome, they'll be useful when you're stuck on a desert island, then...
You can't join the scouts if you're stuck on a desert island either, so either way it has to be knowledge you ascertained before you ended up stranded. Use your brain.
Again, proves how disingenuous you are. Boy Scouts made prepared men, as did actual (pre1970s in principle) male fraternities.
Then along came you liberals, and had to dismantle such "patriarch" institutions.
Again, if males had more fathers/after school substitutes for male bonding and life skills, you'd see less people googling "how to install a GFCI outlet" than you do now, or anything else
Those skills come from early life, not googling, this stems to all types of education
Fricking blueshill
you're just mad because you got diddled by a camp counselor and now you live in a trailer
My home is worth 500k thanks
Good luck when you're cold in the winter, enjoy Biden's america you Ledditor tourists who shit up this place
Trump lost.
You mean Zuckerberg won.
Have a nice day.
Lucky. He gets to live in a trailer.
>The Boy Scouts are still a thing
Boy, you don't know a thing either. I bet you're some sort of fence sitter too.
Bitch, please, the Boy Scouts got sued out of existence and it isn't the same Boy Scouts I was in 20+ years ago nor the Boy Scouts it was for my dad 40+ years ago
Go frick yourself you disingenuous frick.
Also, people are more moronic than ever with smart phones; you think these people will be able to YouTube survival skills on an island? This shit was just basic skills 100 years ago that you were expected to know or due to industry, but it's now all forgotten due to tech or society or 1st world countries being mostly service, not production based and living comfortably in nice HVAC regulated housing (funny enough, my job/jobs in the past have been wood stoves and HVAC/Furnace/Boilers).
>I said the Boy Scouts didn't exist anymore which is completely untrue so I now have to move the goalposts to "well it still exists but it doesn't count anymore"
Yeah you're definitely a conservative
He's saying he already went to the boy scouts as a kid you dummy. You're telling him you would learn the skills after you're already lost and stuck somewhere. And from YouTube apparently.
You have the reading comprehension and base level reasoning of a childlike moron.
Ignore him, he's some moronic centrist or some blueshill who will beg and plead someone to change his tire when he's stuck in the middle of nowhere when he has no reception with his 5G iPhone.
And yes, he keeps moving the goalposts.
>"Wilson, get iPad."
I figured it went without saying that you'd have to watch them *before* you got stranded on a desert island because I forgot that I was talking to complete idiots.
well, you are the one that forgot. I know I am an idiot because of the note pinned to my jacket. You need a note maybe.
You're that same idiot that keeps talking about the census bureau aren't you? I told you stop replying to my posts.
nah, just got here. Let me check you for notes.
>I figured it went without saying that you'd have to watch them *before* you got stranded on a desert islan
Holy shit you're stupid. You can't learn survival skills just by watching some yt videos. You need to actually practice it and with enough times of success to be efficient at a skill. Saying you now know how to do some life saving task because you remember what you saw on YouTube is the most pretentious shit ever.
>Saying you now know how to do some life saving task because you remember what you saw on YouTube is the most pretentious shit ever.
So is "I'm a survival expert because I have merit badges." You're not a real man, want to know how I know? You're belly aching about liberals on Cinemaphile like you have a vegana.
There's a difference between being taught once and those who actually use them every day
I live in the mountains of Colorado some of us have to brush up on basic skills in case of emergency where there's no power or gas or you're stuck on a shit road
Frick off moron, the point is weak ass men are the current problem of the world and it stems from liberal bullshit
You sure complain like a weak ass man. Oh, and you hate liberals but live in Colorado? Kek.
You're such an insecure little queer, get a life
That's why I keep calling this poster a blueshill because he's an idiot, thinking watching YouTube is anywhere close to actually practicing of
Knots
Sundials
Construction of rudimentary tents/shade
Primitive hunting or knife tools
Sharpening techniques
Wood chopping techniques
Fire building with different types of wood, wet or dry or types of different wood/plants
Desalination
Etc
I would not trust you to operate a toilet without an assistant.
I was also in the scouts, I also know how to build a fire and tie a bowline hitch and so on. I've also fished and chopped wood at my grandfather's cabin for the better part of my life. I just don't brag about it because I'm not a loser who is desperately in need of a substitute for a personality.
being a boyscout on a desert island is the loneliest you can be. A one guy circle jerk is the picture of sadness.
imagine living in memphis
I wouldn't need to,I'd be dead from dehydration and hypothermia within three days or so
well when are you planing to do this island trip then?
depends
could one make alcohol out of anything on the island?
You can ferment literally anything with sugar in it. So yes
Idiot
Shutup homosexual moron nobody asked you
can you make cum wine?
yeah, but if you do not get the order of operations right the stomping part really hurts.
If you have a high sugar intake then yeah, probably
Wilson would need some trauma care after all the mouth fricking he'd receive.
thank god for wilson and the love for his fiance that kept him afloat even if she did cuck him in the end.
day 2 be like
i would have built a raft to get the off the island
I would've built a Walmart so that I could just buy anything I needed.
surely a boat would've come by sooner, it's not the 1800's.
boats came by a lot but if you pay attention it is implied the island is a metaphor, so they cannot see him because uneducated sailors do not know about literature.
>Tom Hanks wants to get back to his wife
>when he gets back after about 4 years she has a new husband and a kid
Lets say the kid is 2. That means she probably knew the guy for a year+ before she married him. So it took her under 12 months to grieve and get over Hanks. And that's not even counting the possibility that she dated a few other guys before settling for her husband. Women in a nutshell.
How long should wait? Serious question. What are the rules. Also, what's the rule for a guy if your wife (of many years) is lost at sea?
>How long should wait?
that's a typo, I'm not ESL, I seriously want to know what anons think about this
at least until they are over the horizon.
The rules are that respect is earned thru virtue, acting like a prostitute gets you treated like prostitute.
Dying gives roasties the ultimate "ick"
Women can't grieve.
>husband died in a planecrash
>welp guess ill have to die alone now or some anonymous user on the internet might call me a prostitute
Why is everyone in this thread either a total moron or a raving schizo?
Because no one in this thread (including me) has any actual experience with survival situations, so they all have to fill in the gaps with their gut feelings or anecdotes or whatever, so it's basically people spilling their imaginations
i live in bosnia Black person im an expert on the topic
you live in a tiny tree?
Tell us stories, please.
my paycheck is three months late i tried suing my employer and i went deeper into the debt to pay for the court which lead to nothing
Sorry to hear it, anon, some people are scum.
>my paycheck is three months late
>is
Are you posting from a forest
no, he said he lived in a bonsai.
gpt
What type of bonsai do you live in? Do you have a little swing?
>Because no one in this thread (including me) has any actual experience with survival situations
You don't know that
I encourage anons to prove me wrong by starting their posts with "I was in a survival situation when ___" and telling what happened and what they know.
I wouldn't even make it to the plane.
You are mentally week, homosexual
I'd have built a really nice house and I'm sure it wouldn't have taken 4 years for some government to swing buy to fine me for not obtaining the proper permits.
i'd survive off volleyball leather and cum
Lol, what a weak ass quitter homosexual. I feel like I would be perfectly capable of surviving, up until the emergency dental self-surgery. I honestly, probably couldn't do that shit.
>emergency dental self-surgery
I dont remember that scene
Just watched it, he did it in an absolutely moronic way, amazing he didnt jam the skate into his nasal cavity.
What was wrong with his tooth?
Had a cavity that became infected/abscessed. if you let dental problems get that bad, they can become legit life threatening
I just want to live there.
Hell is other people.
All I need are fish and coconuts.