If given proper diet and exercise, could orcs be good looking and handsome?
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If given proper diet and exercise, could orcs be good looking and handsome?
They'd probably look like shorter Uruk-hai, so no. At the very least they'd get a lot of porn doujins written about them though.
There are no female orcs so there's no reason for them to care about looks
In a fantasy setting you arent limited to your own race. Go and pick up a hot dwarf babe.
Wrong. In all of LOTR, across thousands of years, there are only like 4 instances of racemixing
>There are no female orcs
>he believes this
orc ladies are reserved for the kitchen and the nurseries
orc lads do not suffer their ladies to go to war
they're so deformed that maybe there are females but you can't tell them apart
>he doesn’t know about the breeding farms
This was deep, I need to take a break to register this.
During the last three years of middle school, all the hot girls and popular guys changed schools. The result was amazing, and probably completely unique. Expensive clothes and stylish haircuts was given no status whatsoever. The boys only cared about strength, national socialism and who had the best gear in WoW. No bullying. Lan parties every other week. It was amazing. I think orc society would look very much the same, if they weren't sneaky backstabbing bastards. Look up MDEs utopia, it was something like that
Crazy thing is even how fricking ugly they are my ex probably would frick one on a drunk night if he had a huge wiener
You have to move on anon
Is that why she left?
Claim your orc.
>what a 10/10 orc twink looks like
>mfw I see manlets in my army
Love these lil fellas
tremble
>HUAUHHHHH
>close the gate carblug!
>CARMELLA
The one on the MOUSTACHE
Coolest looking orc by far
My favorite ones are also Ugluk, Mauhur and Grishnak.
I literally had an orc phase when i was a teenager, lasted nearly 3 years, i would listen to Isengard theme almost every day
whose skull is that
I can't believe we went from this to CGI Warhammer orcs in the Hobbit
I don't understand the math behind CGI. How tf can it be cheaper/faster to make CGI than to hire a ton of uggo extras and do a little makeup + mask/prosthetics for prominent ones. Add red eyes and further enhance it in post-production and you've got an actual army of orcs instead of shitty CGI
It's not cheaper, but it's more flexible and easier to control
Prosthetics you make them for one scene and if you notice you don't like something then you have to interrupt the shooting, get it fixed, go back to the shooting, notice something wrong again, etc
With CGI they shoot everything with mocap and green screens then all the work is done during post production. Prefer green eyes instead of red? done. Need a third arm on this guy? done. etc etc
CGI can be done in post; makeup, camerawork, and lighting can't. The Hobbit suffered from rushed production and didn't have the time to build all the sets, make all the costumes, props, and prosthetics, and all the other prep that lotr spent a year doing before filming started. All the backgrounds and much of the foreground in the goblin town sequence are also CGI for the same reason.
As far as I recall, book readers clarified in the book Orcs exluding Uruk-Hai are all these 4'2 something malnourished weaklings, so I guess that always lent Men, Elves, and Dwarves a sense of confidence when fighting armies of them outnumbered them massively.
Orcs are not even a proper race, but instead Elves and other races who were tortured and corrupted with pure evil magic.
Hobbit mentions Goblin kids, but anything else is never clarified. Goblins and Orcs are sorta related and I believe the same race, just different naming conventions due to area and culture.
golbins = orcs
Tolkien changed his mind on the naming of that race at some point
yes they're smaller than men in the books. also there are half-man half-orcs.
probably
I remember reading their marriage only lasted 1-2 months. He ended up ODing on pain killers and alcohol. RIP in peace my dude
No kind of healthy diet or exercise can fix a bad face.
The only thing wrong with that guy is his god damn Lego head. Which is easily concealed with hats and Durags.
ITS CALLED PHOTOSHOP, JACK
>Standing here
>Nanomachines, son!
>played college ball you know!
this guy is a legitimate 7.5/10 in other photos and had a cute gf too
anyway, obligatory
>TRY UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS
I'm the opposite. My face is okay, but my body is deformed, so no amount of gymmaxxing will solve this.
Depending on the deformity, you can monstermaxx. Some girls are into it. Also you can try getting away with it in clothes until it's too late for the girl to back out.
He'll grow into it, he'll be a fantastic looking 40 year old
He can beat you up and steal your girl.
>YOU WERE JUST LIKE ME
>Agent Mulder. As of this moment I'm reopening the X-Files.
can Black folk?
we all know that orcs are just a PC version of them
Well see now that's the crazy part. They do indeed have a good diet, if unusual to the human palate. So much so that they have their own cuisine. As far as maggoty bread goes, it's clear they hate shit iron rations as much as men and elves. As for exercise, they get more than you, fatty.
The fact that they know what a "menu" is implies that there are also Orcish restaurants, further strengthening the idea that they have their own cuisine
no they have mess halls
hence the term "back" on the menu
Well, they're debased elves, so while I'm assuming they're probably more like mead halls or officer's messes, yes, they do know what a menu is.
They knew from the villages they raided
Why did they make Azog so fricking hot?
>tall
>buff
>traditionally attractive
The frick, same shit with them trying to make the Dwarves hot.
Daily reminder there's indeed female orcs
Daily reminder Sauron and later Saruman had literal breed pits with humans and orcs to make Uruk Hai.
Daily reminder Tolkien had a dislike for rape in his stories, so most likely this consisted in male humans breeding female orcs non stop.
Now take those daily reminders and do with them what you wish.
I'm hard
surely the most robust females at that in order to create the strongest uruk-hai
What happened to the breeding pits after Sauron died? Asking for a friend
They are flat out described as being created through magic. In the movies they pop up out of embryo sacks in pits of mud. Orcs were created from tortured and twisted elves. Uruk Kai from the further addition of the corruption of humans. These beings are made through the perversion of souls, not sweaty plap plap pits.
I prefer the breeding pits
Well yes. That thought does have a certain saucy aura about it. No doubt about that.
Look, they are SMASHED AND SLAMMED elves, okay? Magic played a part, but these freaks fricked in the pits of Utumno and under Angband, and in the Misty Mountains and other places. They fricked. They didn't come up out of embryonic sacks in the ground any more than dwarves and elves did.
Orcs are implied to reproduce. They are said to "multiply" and "proliferate" at various points, and they can be young or old.
read the books dummy, how do you think Bolg is the SON of Azog
That doesn't mean they need to have sex. Given they retreat deep into mountains to breed and multiply, that sure sound like the kinds of place you'd find mud pits, innit. And indeed fricked up magic. Like say.. in Moria. Corrupted elves, remember, that also means their society. Stop being a homosexual.
they could hardly show a human-orc rape-production line now could they?
Many of the fellowship goblins were played by stuntwomen to get the scale right with the main cast.
>male humans breeding female orcs non stop.
At least he considered Cinemaphile users when he wrote it.
>Cinemaphile users
>breeding
>Daily reminder Tolkien had a dislike for rape in his stories
This doesn't mean he shied from implicating of rape. One elf forcibly made a noldor princess his wife by rape.
Where are the female orcs?
That's impossible, they're evil and, as we all know, evil is ugly is evil
sometimes they just need some cocoa butter lotion and stuff, orcs are victims of the resource-deprivation the "Free Peoples" of the West impose on them
Wish they had included some female orcs
Orcs are working class elves.
>Aragorn
>son of Arathon
>son of Aracorn
>son of Arabjorn
>son of Arascorn
>son of Aradorn
>son of Araworn
>son of Araporn
lay off, Tolkien wasn't the best with names
I might be a Tolkien character because my name shares the first two letters with my father's, and my sister's with my mother's
>main villain is called sauron
>side villain who works for main villain is called sarumon
Well they were all played by Kiwis so no. It even ruins the immersion when you start to pick out the accent.
Also for me the canon for orcs is from the movie
They are dug out from dirts
Its cool as frick
In Battle for Middle Earth RTS game you can actually see the process more detailed
The building that spawns orcs has an orc with a shovel stirring it for a while and then pulling out the bodies out of the mud
Isn't it called orc pit in the game?
I love these guys like you wouldn't believe.
Buncha bumblebees got to that motherfricker.
need dem programs
mfw i will never breed elfs
what were their shits like after 3 days of maggoty bread?
perfectly clogged for winter hibernation
Are goblins a subspecies of orc in tolkien-land?
No cuz uruk hai are superior
So what did Aragorn do with the orcs after the war? Killed them all? Even the little baby orcs in their little orc cradles?
Yes
He went full Isildur as the weeping orc mothers pleaded for the life of their children.
Is hobbit vegana too small for a regular human?
no
hobbits are known to have massive hogs
>BIG FEETS
i eat healthy and i exercise everyday and im still ugly af so my guess is no
>Corrupted elves
Was there really that many elves to corrupt?
Maybe they had few elf women in the breeding pits to do some good old "corrupting"
As fricked up as it is, it's amazing that Morgoth managed to corrupt elves at all since they're all delicate flowers in some aspects.
If you read the Silmarillion, elves of the ancient days were like epic heroes n sheeit, like one of them challenged Morgoth Bauglier/Melkor -- Sauron's BOSS -- to a duel and permanently wounded his physical body.
Fingolfin was pretty bad ass but I hate golf so his name annoys me
>exercise
they do nothing except march and drill
A new power is rising
If they werent getting forced to go to war all the time, and getting fed shitty food, I bet Orcs would be pretty nice guys to hang out with.
>Gundabad orcs are all Gigachads, but then you get your face smashed in and end up looking like roadkill
The CGI orcs piss me off so much
just look at NBA athletes and decide if you think they are handsome.
they are constantly marching and on the move, they get plenty of exercise