If you had $10,000,000 but only 1 year to make James Corden "cool" do you think you could do it? And how?
I think I'd set up something like the following:
>Hire some Hollywood PT to get him as shredded as possible
>Get his show some decent writers, make him drop the fat moron act
>Start a rumour that he will be starring in the next big capeshit, doesn't have to be true
>Get him into an A24 movie with Brendan Frasier and Nic Cage
>If all else fails send him out Chris Farley Style
Is hire Patrick Stewart to kick the shit out of his gunt
tell him to write this on twitter
>I fricking love trump
>I fricking hate blacks
>I support the second amendment
>Patrick Stewart is a gay that's ruining Star Trek
>Jay Leno was right and Conan is a gay
there, everyone instantly likes him
oh I spend all that 10 million dollars on "business expenses"
>Jay Leno was right and Conan is a gay
qrd?
Good bait, I guess.
Him being fat is part of what helps him stand out. Getting rid of that just makes him another generic British white guy in Hollywood. I agree with getting him to lose weight though, since it’ll be good for his health. Have him start doing some dark comedies and dramas, and stop appearing in animated kids movies for a while. Show up on famous podcasts and talk candidly about his weight issue and working in the industry.
>Jay Leno was right and Conan is a gay
Leno was right. Conan is a gay
>do you think you could do it?
no
I’d kill him then plant a manifesto in his house. The manifesto would claim that all his cringe bootlicking was actually a ploy to get info on elites. Then I’d make a list of all the elites/celebs I didn’t like and write them down in the manifesto with fake stories about them.
That would actually be a kino redemption arc if Corden turned out to be a double agent and was just pretending to be an insufferable c**t to overthrow the satanic cabal from the inside.
have him grow his hair out, wear a dress, call shklerself Jamie, go on TLC This is Jamie hosted by Jazz. People will eat that shit up and he will be really really cool.
Fire all the female writers. Lobotomize him. Get a cool dancing monkey.
I would fire him and hire Graham Norton instead. He's a poofter, but still far better than James Corden. It has to be the same format as his current show as well. Not the soulless shit Corden is doing in America.
I expect America has gone after Graham in the past since they worship both homosexuals and the Irish over there.
My guess is they've probably asked him to change his format too much and he's refused. It would be depressing to watch him doing the mandatory 5 minute Drumpf monologue then having awkward banter with the black band leader like all the other hosts do.
The Graham Norton show was briefly aired in the US in the early 2000s.
Make him divorce his wife and start courting dicky
I would merely grift that $10 mil. It's not like any amount of money is going to do what you've given as a prompt op, so I might as well profit off it.
I would use that money to have him whacked instead. Costs less, no one will miss him and nobody will investigate how his body ended up in a woodmill sliced to pieces because him being there is not suspicious at all and even the police will agree it was an accident, considering his loss will help humanity on the long run.
I can't stand that talentless piece of shit. Such a charisma void.
put it all in parsiq. in a year's time he will be mogging musk and bezos
Someone I worked with used to know James Corden and brought him up all the time.
I’d give him tattoos and drug addiction
Do normies not think he's cool?
Pay a woman $1M to falsely accuse him of sexual assault and then have him prove his innocence in dramatic fashion by releasing tapes of her admitting she was lying. All of Twitter would be screaming for him to be cast in every film.
only good and somewhat plausible answer itt
I would do this but also pay for a hitman to kill the woman after he was proven innocent. She needs to die in a car crash so she doesn't squeal she was paid to make false charges. The truth must be buried with her like it was with JFK in Dallas.
Why don't rich and famous people do this? I guess they could get blackmailed by the woman
>Tweet self-deprecating shit about his weight
>Photoshops himself into architect memes to satisfy le niche maymay hugbox
>hire zoom-zoom that unironically shit like "on god" and "fr fr" with broccoli hair to title youtube videos
>Carpool karaoke with a different dictator each week
Personal trainer, haircut, tazer to zap his nuts every time he's rude to someone, acting classes, Lambo, cocaine addiction and a new wardrobe
>but I soon realised that no matter what I tried James Corden would never be cool
>the plan? use $10,000,000 to buy every dictionary on the planet to change the definition of what "cool" is
lmao
>force him to lose weight and lift weights
>force him to watch fox news (only to counterbalance the current liberal brain) and no other ""news"" media. (stop before he turns into a neocon obviously)
>take him hunting
>put him through any character building stuff.
>maybe a slight facial scar not on the front
hahahaha nice
Easy one, I'd keep nine million and use the rest for PR and running a youtube channel where he helps humanitarian causes. I'd get other stars to participate too. Normies would gobble that shit. Imagine carpool karaoke on the russian border with ukrainian refugees or some other low hanging bullshit.
Probably shoot him in the face
make him go full chet hanx
Jackass, but only he is the subject of the pranks
>have to make James Corden cool
Frick
Can I just slide out with the money instead?
>If you had $10,000,000 but only 1 year to make James Corden "cool" do you think you could do it?
easily.
>buy a 50$ gun, including some bullets
>shot the homosexual in the head twice
>James Corden will turn "cool" between 1 to 2.5 hours, depending on the weather condition.
Have him slap John Krasinski on live TV and call him “a fricking CIA plant”. Then have Ricky Gervais on, slap him, and call him a “fat fricking pig”.
21 day water fast followed by 4 months of military boot camp. Then I drop him in the middle of a favela in Rio with a water bottle and a pistol and tell him to get to the airport in 24 hours or less.
Following that I'd put him on a full course of test and hgh while getting him to do compound lifts and eat 4500cal of clean food every dag with at least 200g protein. Then a month before the year is out, I drive him out into the middle of a national park and feed him 7g of magic mushrooms. Then I don a skinwalker outfit and follow him around for the next 6-8 hours.
Then I let him take a vacation anywhere he wants. homie would deserve that.
I'd freeze him in a block of liquid nitrogen and pocket the rest.
based loophole finder
I would glue him to a chair, light him on fire, then roll him down a hill like that one character in Red Dragon/Manhunter. That character was a dork as well, but everyone remembers him for his badass death scene.
pay zendaya to appear on his show, zoomies love that mutt b***h
get him to throw his television career away by calling out Hollywood pedophiles live on TV and then become a twitch streamer
I pocket the money and stage an accident where he dies at the start of the year
this gay too london/LA to be cool.
kick that Black person out on the streets and see how he does after 6 months.
take his shitty corporate show off of tv and put it on paramount plus so he can really dig in to the interviews.
i just saved you 10 million dollars
alternatively have james do 10 million dollars worth of hard drugs.
I could do it in six months.
Sorry to say I wouldn't tell you how for free.
If you had 10 million and a year to make James Corden cool why don't you just bribe Craig Ferguson back, kick out Corden, and use the rest of the money to make sure Craig gets spotlight attention cause these days he has a really big Youtube fandom. Nobody in late night was better than Craig and they replaced him with fricking James Corden
>If you had $10,000,000 but only 1 year to make James Corden "cool" do you think you could do it?
Buy a big freezer, toss him in, and then since my job is done I'd spend the remaining money on getting rimjobs from underage girls.