If you saw a celebrity out in the wild would you go up to them and ask for a picture or anything like that or would just leave them alone?
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If you saw a celebrity out in the wild would you go up to them and ask for a picture or anything like that or would just leave them alone?
Yes, it is your duty to annoy them, ideally so that they kick your shit in so you can press charges and make money
Pretty much this. They need to be taken down a peg in any way possible. You can't go around in this life with that much fame and wealth without a counter balance. I'd kick the fricking shit out of any celebrity i saw if it didn't pose a risk to my person. Frick them.
i'm a moron so I probably wouldn't even recognize them until hours or days later
Few people recognize them in the wild unless you are specifically looking for them. Actresses are hard to recognize in public because they always dress in dull clothes with minimal makeup and hair tied back. Actors are even harder to pick out because they blend in witv every guy walking around with t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses.
Like one of the anons said, they are everywhere in the middle class and up parts of LA. Grocery stores, pharmacies, cafes, book stores and any places where you can run errands. They only dress up when they go to premieres, ultra fancy restaurants or when they tip off the paparazzi for a photo op.
I would harrass the females and leave the dudes alone
WTF is she grocery shopping at the airport?
>he doesn't do all his shopping at the duty free
That's in Australia. Don't they have trolley escalators like this in your country?
>Woolworths bags
WTF when was she in Australia?
>Don't they have trolley escalators like this in your country?
No, were not lazy sacks of shit like you.
I would propose marriage, obv
if i saw natalie in rea life i'd firsr try to get as close as possible as i can to her and try to get a good sniff of her or accidentally trip and try to fall face first into her butt, only then would i awkwardly ask for an autograph or selfie while making sure i call her miss hershlag and not miss portman
I kneel, king
>making sure i call her miss hershlag and not miss portman
most based post i've seen in weeks
10/10 show
I had a friend who claims Denis Leary used to reguarly come into the liquor store he worked at like 15 years ago and he was always a prick lol sounds on brand for Denis
>Denis Leary used to reguarly come into the liquor store he worked at like 15 years ago and he was always a prick
he literally had a song about it
Look at all that fibre. Her shits must be the size of baguettes.
I would bug them only if they were at CVS buying their herpes medication.
And if her name was Anna Kendrick?
damn thats a lot of green leafy shit, i cant remember the lost time i ate a vegetable (unless it was lettuce on my burger!)
you're gonna get intestine AIDS, be careful
one time I was black out drunk getting out of an uber on the way to ohm nightclub in Hollywood back when it was open; me and my friends were crossing the street when I saw the black guy from the deez nuts meme crossing the other way, I don't think anyone else noticed but when I saw him I whirled my head around and shouted "HOLY SHIT IT'S THE DEEZ NUTS GUY!" loud enough for everyone to turn around, I felt really bad about it later. He was with a girl and looked visibly uncomfortable and when I yelled he kind of just pulled her closer and hurried away
if you live in or spend a lot of time in west LA you can see celebs pretty often
Golden rule. I want everyone to leave me alone always. But I hope others do bother them if I were as rich as them you'd never see me in public they're asking to be heckled.
I'd go up and say hi and them give them an interesting factoid like
>Did you know, Super Mario is originally a plumber from Brooklyn in New York!?
That is an interesting factoid.
id probably try to say something to piss them off and run away, like if i saw Mel Gibson in the street id roll down my window and yell "HEY MEL, PASSION OF THE CHRIST SUCKED!!!!" and speed off
I used to live right near hulk hogan I guess in Florida because I’d always see him at the organic grocery store. One time we made eye contact and I just stoically gave him a nod and he nodded back. It felt really cool not gonna lie.
I knew someone that worked at that grocery store and he said he would come in a lot.
Pablo?
Nice. It was Natures Food Patch in Clearwater.
yeah i saw the video of you two fricking at bubba the love sponge's house. how did his big dick feel inside of you?
Not big at all actually
This is absolutely how I would greet a celebrity. He'd probably go home and tell the story to his wife to show her how classy of an area they've chosen to live in.
I don't know what it is with israeli women, but you can always sense a hag witch trying to break past their veil, even when they're still young
Even with make-up, even with surgery, even if they manage to delay it, it's always there
I went to an Emeril Lagassi signing once as a kid and bought his cook book. He asked me my favorite food and I said pizza. There was a football player from my school a few years older back in my hometown and he was there for like a charity and my friend recognized him and said hi and he said it wasn’t him but it was.
Play it cool and pretend I don’t know them obvs
literally who
Kevin Anderson and his mother, some homeless lady
Tummy
>POV: you see Nat out in the wild and go up to her and ask for a picture
Is this deepfaked or does she just have an unusually large head?
Most actresses are bobbleheaded anon, the proportions look better on camera, maybe?
I actually think from time to time what I would say to my waifu if I saw her but I can't think of anything that would be meaningful I could say as an average joe.
"I really like your movies"
>I'm a multi-millionaire and have several awards I know people like them
I would like to ask some questions but why would she answer some nobody?
If I try to impress her with my encyclopedic knowledge of her movies and interviews I will come off as a creep. If I think I have some kind of special knowledge from having watched all her movies I will come off as delusional.
So the best I could do is situational smalltalk but that's unfulfiling and I would just be another annoying fan.
So I would probably just take one good look and then walk away and cry.
this. that is if I had any celebrity that would leave me starstruck, which I can't even think of. not these days.
Grab a fist full of ass and move on.
I wouldn't say a single word to them, I would listen to what they have to say. And that's what no one did
i was at a wild party with mm, and he kept hitting on my buddie's gf and my buddy was getting really catty, insulling him and shit.
was an entertaining night
MM is coked out of his mind 110% of the day, dude probably lives in another reality
I would leave them alone but snap a sly pic to prove I saw them.
I probably wouldn't have anything important to say so Id try to make eye contact and nod or give a slight wave.
I'm struggling to think of any actor Id have anything to say to. movies are made by directors and screenwriters not actors. and I wouldn't really be able to recognize any screenwriters besides Charlie Kaufman. and only a few directors.
Depends on the celebrity.
If I saw Mitch Lucker before he died I’d have said hi if he was alone or with a bandmate, not with his family.
If I ever saw Neil Peart, I would pretend I didn’t recognize him.
And if they’re ever with their family or someone I don’t recognize as a part of their work I would never say hello.
I know exactly where this is. So weird to see your neighborhood shop in a picture like this. It's the whole foods in Burbank.
>Haha it's so weird and quaint seeing my small town in a picture like this, it's San Francisco btw
All san franshitscoites should be put in camps. The ability you morons have of putting absolute incompetents in power and ruining your own city is astounding
morons bein morons
you were only off by roughly 7500 miles
I would shout "HEY WAIT, IS THAT X!!??" and then just walk away while a crowd forms around them.
>think of something clever to say
>say it
>the celebrity smiles and walks away
>oh no, it wasnt clever at all
>i was cringe in front of the most famous person i will ever meet
>where do ye keep ya beans
I like to think this was his first time grocery shopping ever and he was having a blast.
If it was Natalie, I would do an attempted raping.
Veggie veggie veggie... damn I understand why her husband cheated on her
In my expirience its hard to recognize in public. A couple of times sports ball players have been slightly offended I didnt recognize them even after they introduced themselves. Like I am supposed to remember every football or baseball players name
She has nothing but greens. Is it even possible to survive on a diet like that or is this a desperate attempt for a celebrity to feel normal? They don't even know what food to buy.
It’s to make a vegetable smoothie. Every non poor gay drinks one. Makes you feel good.
No that's just status driven hype that rich people get duped into.
vegetables are a hype?
No, thinking you NEED it every day is hype. Besides you don't have to be rich to afford greens, moron. Weird flex.
>Weird flex.
no one says that anymore, millennial.
go be old somewhere else
moron
Bro she literally died from this it’s incredibly insensitive to bring it up like this.
I saw Adam West out in public once. I had no intention of approaching him, I just whispered to my friend i was with that Adam West was here. He noticed us looking and I awkwardly smiled and waved expecting him to go about his business. He came up and started talking to us. He was great.
She has a family to feed, she doesn’t have time for fan bs so I’d leave her alone
Isn’t she rich enough to have someone else do that, or curb pick-up at least?
shopping is a pleasurable experience on occasion and celebrities dont want that taken away from them
On a family trip we ran into John C Riley at some random roadside attraction, my sister said "Shake N Bake" to him, he nodded with a smile and said yep.
Sold Nachos and a Pretzel to David Spade at a rodeo food kiosk. He didn't tip.
Smoked a cigarette with Boger from Revenge of the Nerds. Had a conversation about Baseball cards.
I can imagine how annoying it must be to hear "shake and bake" from every mouth breather that's seen the movie.
why the frick would i tip someone giving me a pretzel and nachos at a fricking food kiosk?
>it's just gonna ask ya a quick question
>30% tip is the lowest option
Sorry David, I thought I provided above and beyond service but your right, tipping is suggested but appreciated not mandatory.
>above and beyond
>"here's your pretzel dude"
Curtis’ IMDB is a mile long, I bet he has some wild stories
Seemed pretty cool, I was working a booth at Phoenix comicon and he was joking about his son carrying the tradition of working conventions rather than being an actor. All of the fans loved him, rather than that piece of shit no tipping David Spade who consensus says is a renown butthole.
I saw Matthew McConaughey riding his bike shirtless outside my apartment once and left him alone. I also saw Michael Moore at LAX but who wants to talk to that guy?
meh, I like his movies.
I used to go to the celebrity ProAm golf tournament around here to shout at Ray Romano every year. Don Cheadle also looked at me when I shouted CHEEAADLE at him.
My one real "random celebrity sighting" was John C Reilly, as I remarked recently on this board. I knew for sure it was him but I left him alone because at the time I didn't know his name and I didn't want to annoy him. I went on my way on my bicycle but it was definitely him-how could you miss that distinctive mug? He seemed to be relaxing with his family.
The way you keep spamming these is getting me aroused. I literally just urinated all over myself.
Do you like feeling dirty?
Her face is looking extremely israelitey these days.
Nasty.
Damn wish I could”ve had a wife like her
met Tim Allen once
>Work at discount theater
>Theater does a Christmas promo movie every year where they play a different Christmas movie every day for a week, today is Christmas With the Kranks
>Tim Allen randomly shows up and buys a ticket to "surprise everyone". Was in town doing something else and saw a theater was running his movie
>sold maybe 4 tickets including his
A guy who looks like Tim Allen moved in next door. Hes actually Satan. That's so funny. Seriously, he's Satan. I talked to him once, but nothing unusual was said. The way I know this guy isn't real is because god made a really weird event using this Tim Allen boy. I will be telling you all about this in time. Maybe in my next post. I have lots of time to tell stories.
Take your meds or fix your bot
Well no, god is also sitting next to me. I have sex with him a lot. Almost every night. He rapes me, which makes it easy for me. Because I would never ask for it. It feels almost as good as real sex. Sometimes even better. But, he's so weird with how he has sex. He's very into denial of pleasure. It's like dominatrix stuff almost. It comes across in a way which makes me hurt myself out of frustration.
Unless it's my actual favorite celebrity I always leave them be.
Sometimes I saw people like Renee Zelweger or Michael Impelioli doing shopping with their family. I always say hi to them and they look like a nice enough bunch
Not my proudest story but I'm drunk soo...
>break up with girl in home Midwest state in March 2020
>move to downtown San Diego in July 2020
>everything is shut down still
>lonely and get on tinder
>trans woman is inviting me over to their apartment
>frickit.png
>Ring the bell outside, go in
>in the lobby just chilling is fricking fricking Snoop Dogg
>try not to make eye contact
>get up to the apartment and they're like yeah he has a place here
woman is inviting me over to their apartment
his
snoop knows you fricked that bussy
I actually saw Portman from afar in an airport a few years ago. I only realized it was her because a group of people near where I was waiting were going "Dude that's Natalie Portman!" She was pregnant then and is very small in person so you'd not even notice her as being a famous Hollywood star.
I would burp "natalieeeeee"
I went to disney world as a kid and we spotted a fairly popular comedian/tv show host but everyone kind of just had the same idea of leaving him alone since he was with his family
if i see someone i actually like i'd just say
>"hey, i'm a fan of X"
and based on their response i'd ask a follow up question otherwise i'd leave them alone
Celebs belong to the public, i paid for the movie ticket so they should be licking my butthole for being paid for just standing around reading a few lines
She needs a bodyguard
That's a lot of scalp for a middle part, is she thinning?
Used to work for a high end sports equipment company in Los Angeles. Most of our maintenance work came from schools and pro sports teams. Became close with trainers and grunts on the different teams. Sports is heavily tied into celebrity culture in LA and people that work on the teams are part of the celeb ecosystem. A-Listers go out with star athletes and execs and it goes all the way down to D-listers going out with lowly equipment guys on minor league teams. I think it's basically a free ticket thing. Anyway, some of the low level guys I knew invited me to a few CW and basic cable level wrap parties and would often see them with bit actresses at the bars. Nothing really spectacular, just normal average girls with guys they were seeing trying to make small talk.
I also have some funny stories that I heard about Jay Mohr GILF-chasing his way to becoming part owner of the LA Lakers. But I'd probably dox the people who told them if I shared details.
Tell us more
I live in LA, how do I get this without putting in any effort?
For sports, if you just want to socialize you can hit up bars and places around the training facilities at happy hour and you might see some trainers and staff around. Just buy them a round and network. Just pick your sport and research. Inglewood, El Segundo and Torrance have multiple training centers. They all seem to be around LAX. If you have no sports related skills, you can try getting a sales job with ticketing or marketing at any of the 100 pro and minor league teams in the metro area.
These guys use dating apps like tinder and industry specific dating apps to meet the celebs. Thats what they told me. You can try that if you just want poon. Though that app stuff isnt my thing.
>These guys use dating apps like tinder and industry specific dating apps to meet the celebs
celebs use these apps? surely they have enough of a network and go to enough events that they dont need them?
nta but apparently there's at least one dating app made specifically for famous people. iirc it's called "raya".
In the early days of Tinder, celebs used them but then migrated to scene specific ones. An anon mentioned Raya, but that's an elite invite only one. There's apps for Christians, Muslims, trades, unions, business people, etc. The ultra specific ones are the ones that you actually meet people if you want to just network or meet up.
/b/ used to have celeb tinder threads back in the day. You'd be amazed at the average randos that actors and actresses will sleep with or just chat with because they're horny and bored.
It's almost like they're human like the rest of us, wow.
Tinder use to pop up a big 666 briefly when you opened it. I nodded in agreement, but still try sometimes for some reason.
Oh, I guess Satan started talking to me after I noticed. I should've mentioned that. I'm pretty sure we're in a simulation designed to torture our souls. I've been searching for the way out. My solution was to invade several minor Asian countries and enslave their women. This will create stargate technology.
Why did you say wow. That's so funny, I would love to see what you think about that NPC. I've been meaning to tell you something important. Pay attention to this part. Hey, wake up. I'll be releasing a drop of A class intel 15 hours from now. Put a reminder on your phone, if you miss this drop it will change your destiny for the worse. Nobody is even reading this. Nobody is even real but me. I have released a 8 red turtles and they're going up.
i just thought you would not want to get caught by paparazzi and have the person talk shit about you afterward
they live in a whole different world basically thanks to wealth and fame
Much like the rest of the world. Only the top 1% of a actors and entertainers live in a world of wealth and fame. The rich Hollywood star is mostly a meme. Most B-Listers actually have side jobs to afford to live in places where they work. And like the other anon said, they're only human like everyone else. And most guys that hook up via Tinder would never recognize random actresses from cable or streaming shows, to them it's just another girl. They're about as likely to talk shit as another famous actor.
>they're only human like everyone else.
Biggest NPC meme ever
>NPC
your generation is so fricking braindead by memes it's a joke
Nah, the moniker is pretty fitting here. You unironically think people of other cultures or economic strata are just like us, your worldview is basically out of marvel and that is why you're an NPC
>economic strata
You really are overestimating how much people get paid in Lalaland. Just go to the SAG or DGA websites and look at their minimums and averages. And now calculate that the average movie only requires 3 weeks of their time and the average season of a show is around 3 months if your lucky to be a regular.
I'm a mediocre software engineer and I make more money than 95% of the actors in SAG. They are exploited just like everyone else.
And you're underestimating how little people in poverty make. The values of something like billion people will be completely alien to you
You, Mr paragraph writer. You're writing the wrong thing. I need to put you to work in the forges making steel. This steel can be used to house warriors of energy capable of filing reports. This is a functioning system, it works great. The problem is I've been having trouble verifying the consciousness of even a single warrior being. This has suggested these warriors of light exist to file under the sun. They live for that. I'm here to trick you into doing something for me. I'm injecting a malicious c++ script into the ethos. This post is going to reprogram your brain into my slave. I will use my slaves for rough sex on your face.
>woman owns the lakers? wow that's cool
>google how she became owner
>her father
i saw Guy Fieri ride his ATV down a suburban street
I'd leave them alone, not because I respect their privacy, but because I'm disgusted by them.
Woolworths fricking sucks, Aldis is unironically better
She's gotten to an age where I have to stop and think for a moment if that's really Natalie Portman, or Caitlyn Jenner
Time comes for us all
Those people are NPCs. I'm one of the only real people. Youve been speaking to NPCs.
>t. shitpost bot
My IQ is actually over 300. I can confirm that there are actual NPCs making toothpaste. They are low IQ and don't even have free will. They live to work basically.
ah yes and what great 300iq job do you further humanity with?
Black person exterminator
I took over several minor Hispanic towns. I've installed trustworthy Latino colleges to teach my spics. These dogs are trained in war. I've been forming an army of screaming hispanics which I'm using to march on the west. As we speak my hispanics are paradropping into your country to pound and impregnate white women. This will make a Messiah race who will cull the beast of poverty and deliver me 3 skyscrapers filled with wives in middle york. This is a 123 year plan to have sex. I'm warlordmaxxing. This was easy, taking over the economy of the world only took me 7 months.
Funny story, I made a post saying "type 321 if you're real". And days later I was on the bus thinking about it, because I got banned for writing that. And all the people on my dynamic IP who tried to post on Cinemaphile would see that. And somebody on the bus said 321. That's a joke. They aren't real. But, if I talk to them. They will pretend to be real. That's the whole thing here. That's why I can't use this to have sex. I can't do anything.
If I saw someone I really liked like Willem Dafoe or Christian Bale I'd thank him for the movies he made and tell him to keep up the good work.
I'd probably ignore any other actor or actress because they're talentless and make shitty films. Maybe I'd spit at Zendaya's feet.
met Alan Arkin at a Cape Breton farmers market in 2016. Couple months later walked past Meryl Streep at the Toronto airport.
I remember running into a BBW pornstar that I used to watch while waiting for my flight at Charlotte Douglas. My autism somehow suppressed itself and we ended up having a pretty nice conversation. Very down to earth girl despite the fact that she used to sit on dudes' faces and fart
Stay away from hollywood celebrities, they're drug addicts that will troon out your kids or say idiotic shit.
I'm more familiar with Japanese pornstars so I'd continue my day oblivious to their existence
I hate the idea of some lucky anon getting to frick my waifu and rubbing it in my face.
that's the other way round, actually: i tend to ignore the celebrities trying to talk to me.
true facts.