I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars

I'll suck your wiener for a thousand dollars

A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

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A Conspiracy Theorist Is Talking Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I usually charge more

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Without a condom on and you swallow my jizz. And if at any point I think you're not enjoying yourself you get 250 at most.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Kim Pines

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Lemme just go find the cash machine...

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Without a condom on and you swallow my jizz. And if at any point I think you're not enjoying yourself you get 250 at most.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How many basedjaks in your collection these days, anon?

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The debate here is was this Tara’s absolute peak?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      American Pie

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      America's absolute peak. Tara is America.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How does it feel to know that I had five different thots suck me off just this weekend?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You look like you have herpes fr fr

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >doesn't like vegana
      We get it. You're gay.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Not gay to get your dick sucked, moron, that's why I blow myself instead of jacking off, you're the homosexual for giving yourself handjobs.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You look like you’ve time traveled from 2005

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That's marvelous

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    No but I’ll frick you in the ass for free you stupid b***h you should have known better than to be a woman in my presence.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Based.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Based women are property

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Bvsed incvl

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    .

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This was the moment I knew I was watching kino

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at anything in a movie as I did with this.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's the dude's reaction that always gets me

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I don’t know why but the little swipe at the end makes me laugh so much. Like “maybe there is more?”

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I don’t know why but the little swipe at the end makes me laugh so much. Like “maybe there is more?”

        >little swipe at the end
        Never fails me

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      movie?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Are you moronic?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >movie?

        Yes it is

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The Big Lebowski starring Jeff Bridges and John Goodman.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Iron Man, starring Tom Cruise

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      James Bond: On her Majesty's secret service

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      so good

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Do you accept cash or credit?

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    My dick doesn’t work half the time. Can’t feel a thing. Right now is one of the times it doesn’t work.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      need a hand, anony? :>

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    DUDE: And then she says to ole Duder "I'll suck your wiener for a thousand dollars"

    DONNY: I am the Walrus

    DUDE: And I say to her I'm just going to go find a cash machine

    WALTER: That fricking b***h

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I miss playing vidya n64 mario kart with my bro while getting head from a hooker

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I bet your bro misses playing vidya and watching you be sucked off by some 2 dollar crack prostitute

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        he had one too moron some ppl can afford hot girls with giant issues

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Hey homosexual!

          How does it feel to know that I have sex with more women in a week than what a dried up cumstain like yourself will ever have in their entire life!

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            How does it feel to know that I had five different thots suck me off just this weekend?

            Did this guy beat you up at school again or something homosexual?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            nice ear anus homo

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Thank you

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Overpriced. And I bet she uses too much teeth.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Any amount of teeth is too much

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    No. I don't let white women suck my wiener

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hate The Big Lebowski. At the same time, I love the Coens. I think The Big Lebowski is the way israelites see goyim.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I see we're making a veritable israelite whisperer out of you, son.
      Good, good.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What sort of sexual acts do you think the Big Lebowski had her do for him? Did his dick even work? If not then what did she do? Sit on his face? Spit into his mouth? Let him suck on her breasts?

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I would only pay a girl to do degrading shit. And laugh at them for being so pathetic

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      What are some examples of this? I'm the kind of guy who would pay for a women to do degrading things to me so I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to properly degrade a prostitute, since if they're doing it for money, I imagine they have to be hardened to all sorts of shit. Unless they're young and new to the game I suppose?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Last night I pissed on a hot chick with 4 other guys

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Practically vanilla by today's standards, tons of women love that

          What are some examples of this? I'm the kind of guy who would pay for a women to do degrading things to me so I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to properly degrade a prostitute, since if they're doing it for money, I imagine they have to be hardened to all sorts of shit. Unless they're young and new to the game I suppose?

          Dogpill

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For $1200 would you say nice things to me

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If I pay you double, would you pretend that you're my Mommy?

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've been thinking of asking this girl I was friends with just after high school to take my virignity for 2000 dollars. I'm a 29 year old virgin. I haven't spoken to her in 7 years. I know she doesn't have much money. She isn't about to be homeless or anything but still. Frick, idk, maybe she has more money now but she still works as a waitress at 28. I can't stand the idea of losing it to a hooker, but to a girl I knew personally it would be ok even if I had to pay. Plus I could kiss her. I'm not in love with her I just used to like her. But I feel genuinely nothing looking at her now. I met some girl on /soc/ who lived nearby and was willing to take my virginity and she was cute but she stopped replying and she definitely wasnt a catfish. It was so disappointing. I just want to have sex with a girl but I'm too ugly for dating sites and too autistic for irl approaches.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      dont do that
      Nothing wrong with an escort just do your research. You have plenty of budget to work with, so you can get a quality escort. Do that a couple times, and you feel much better. Its not nearly as a big a deal as your making it to be in your head. Its just sex...which is mostly jerking off with someone else there, using part of their body instead of your hand.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Nothing wrong with an escort
        Yes there is is and I'll always have to live with losing my virignity to a total stranger.
        >just sex
        I just want it to be slightly special. I just want it to matter a little bit.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The biggest lie forced on younger people is that sex is something special. It isnt...its just something people do, like eating or sleeping etc.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Anon as someone who paid to lose their virginity in February this year, relax. Get in contact with one, that you’re attracted to and you’re certain is legit, and because of those two thins you’ll have to pay a little extra. Then just explain over text that your a virgin and you want to feel special, maybe even mention GFE would be nice, and then you’re set. It’s literally there job to be nice to you and make you cum, just have fun.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I read your original post now, just find someone who looks cute and nice and explain everything you said in your post. Not the $2k part but the lonely/ugly/virgin stuff, the more you communicate to them the better your time will be. I say go for it anon, just be honest with the girl what you want/need, and have fun. Don’t be miserable.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I would explain more of that in person rather than over text.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >I just want it to be slightly special. I just want it to matter a little bit.
          then put in the work and find a girlfriend with a connection to, goddamn. you arent going to find any of that shit paying some dumb poor and desperate chick you talked to years ago to pity frick you. frick off, now im mad

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          All woman are total strangers. You will learn, the hard way.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            together 8 years, 6 year old daughter. "i'm not happy. i don't love you anymore" she says.
            thank God she got fat or i'd be pissed.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How are you still a virgin at 29? I'm swimming in so much pussy fricking hot wives and milfs that I have to make up excuses not to go and frick them just so I can have a night off and play vidya

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I saw this scene at 10 years old because my grandpa played Big Lebowski every time we came to visit him and it got stuck in my head for literally 15 years now

    thanks grandpa, you are very based and I know you did it on purpose. I'll never forget Smithy getting his ball blown off either, and that's why God gave him two

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    How can one even find a prostitute safely knowing that it’s not a scam or a cop?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      for a reputable one you can usually find on twitter, but that’ll be more expensive. Or just go to a country where escorting is legal.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Damn, I’ve only seen one on twitter. I’ll need to look around some more

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >for a reputable one you can usually find on twitter, but that’ll be more expensive
        Twitter also has no shortage of less than reputable and sometimes questionably aged e-thots doing "meetups" for like $100-200 but you may just get scammed / robbed going that route. What a world.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It’s my own damn fault but I’ve been scammed twice now on Snapchat, both from local people that sold nudes.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Happened to me one time, girl wasn't even particularly attractive and had beef curtains like no other but pretended she would do <insert whatever weird fetish here>. Paid them once but they just sent shit I didn't ask for or care about and then kept asking for more money to see what I had initially paid for so I just blocked them. My own fault as well, the shame of it convinced me to never pay a random e-thot after that though.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    woahhh beavis, this chick wants to pay us a thousand bucks to suck our wieners

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sweet, let me know when you have the $1k.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, I would do it.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Nah, I'm good.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I think she might have smoked the wrong one.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Are there other films with this "chill out" mood? Recently rewatched it and my body craves more

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Mallrats

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry but some anons have offered to suck my wiener for money before

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