Ok... so like, Adam Sandler is a fat black lesbian because he needs to win a roller derby to win money to save the local feline AIDS shelter or something
Because of a loophole in the law you can bank jail time for a crime you intend to commit in the future and be completely exonerated.
Two high school dropouts plan a robbery and start a 10 year stretch however one chickens out and goes on to lead normal life
20 years later his former partner turns up at his home
Kill Brian Bendis. It'll save Hollywood. >Bendis killed Marvel comics >DC hires Bendis >Bendis killed DC comics >MCU starts adapting Bendis's stuff >Worst years of cinema
You have once shot to stop this before it's too late. It's for money. You've done worse.
The easiest way to make good is like Cast Away. You know I'm serious because I spelled the title right. Watch Cast Away note how Zemeckis uses darkness, sound, and a very intimate camera to create visceral feelings from simple setup. The premise "a strait-laced man gets stranded on an island and reconstituted" could be anything, intent matters. So just remake your favorite thing, viscerally. Unless it's star wars or star trak
"Harry Potter but visceral"
"Titanic but visceral"
"Marvel but visceral" is just raimi spider-man, skip that one
"Goodnight Moon but visceral"
A socially anxious man whos exterior personality contrasts largely with his inner self (almost as if hes wearing a mask) goes to visit his grandmother whom hes never seen in person for the summer. Upon arriving she mistakes him for the gardener (as he's half mexican) and he is too feeble and cowardly to correct her. Instead of spending the summer relaxing and enjoying his grandmothers beautiful estate, he spends the summer sleeping in a small shack and doing yard work. He's resentful and spiteful the entire time but is unable to fix the problem by confronting his fear of interaction.
A boy falls in love with a girl. Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl’s phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn’t exist in this universe at all. She is the girl’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.
A man suspects his wife of infidelity after she gives birth to a tapir. His friends and family think he's crazy, and his distrust of his wife's loyalty is wrecking his marriage.
every /misc/ and /x/ conspiracy theory condensed into a 4 hour epic stringing from atlantis, hyperborea, hitler living in antartica and culminating on Q
Q crosses the line into well poisoning. Anything after 2016 isn't an authentic Cinemaphile meme, so the first three are fine but no nukes are fake, space is fake, WW2 didn't happen etc. and no Q. It's all well poisoning. Maybe we should take heed of the fact that Atlantis, Hyperborea, and Hitler in Antarctica all predate Cinemaphile and memes were really about sharing. Now that we've shared it all, innovation rings hollow.
It's about a family of brothers who are all pairs of siamese twins >one pair almost gets kicked out of school for allegedly cheating on an exam (copying off the other twin) >for another pair, each of them have IQs of 200+, and their minds are connected like a hive mind, and they become very successful in a company like Google/Goldman Sachs/Facebook, and one conjoined twin tries to act corrupt while the other tries to be honest, and they each switch stances >one pair of conjoined twins, one tries to kill the other, or somehow forges the other's signature and tricks him into getting separated or legally surgically decapitated/removed or something >one pair is basically a normal person, gorgeous, actually like a male-model-tier handsome ass motherfricker, but he has a deformed conjoined twin face like under his armpit that can be concealed, and he moves to LA to become and actor, hides the other's face, then the other's face blows his cover during an audition and the producers try to "go with it" and cast him for other roles, but he gets so infuriated at his "other" face and punches it while the helpless deformed face whimpers in agony, just horrifying shit that ruins his rep in LA >one pair is conjoined at the scalps, and instead of being 2 heads on one body, it's 2 fully functioning bodies, so basically 2 people who are always hunched over. they end up becoming the world's best wrestler/jiu-jitsu grappler >one pair where one is a star medical student and one is a drug addict. the medical student agrees to aid the drug habit IF the other one helps him study, learning twice as fast (as many conjoined twins can read each other's minds). As the medical student advances, the other's drug habit gets worse and worse. As he's performing his first surgery, they have an acid flashback but they still have to perform the surgery.
I don't know how it ends or how many twins there are.
A chud and a troony get frozen for crimes against the state
One hundred years later, they are unfrozen because society can no longer maintain the freezing facilities. The last asian scientist desperately works to wake as many as he can while the rest begin rot in their pods. Chud and troon emerge into a world where... >everyone is dark brown >everyone speaks PERFECT english. There's no sign of any other language or accent except mumbling >people have minimal identity and a small amount of plain personal space >on the other hand, pop culture and outside identities are virtually breaking the door down to get inside you >ads everywhere that look and speak directly to you >celebrities on big screens tell you how to live >pop music is just sex sounds and money app notification sounds >Apple and Google are technarchs of the world (real sponsorship deal if possible)
C&T try to enjoy their celebrity status as white people but the talk show circuit is a disaster. Future people are beyond fricked up. Troon decides to "go home" and has a breakdown when Chud informs him they can't go back in time. They search for others who escaped the freeze locker, and take a makeshift tribe to some land modernoids avoid, a radioactive disaster zone. The millennials cry with joy and kiss the irradiated asphalt of a slightly obsolete AppleTown that can be theirs forever, and start tearing down screen signs. THE END?
star wars but good
Star Wars, but like Pulp Fiction.
Star Wars, but every character is a troony.
My Dinner with Andre, but like Waiting for Godot.
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner but like Waiting For Guffman
star wars but this time everyone is gay and lame as frick
A granny bukkake porno called The Antiques Load Show.
A cop who's a robot
Ok... so like, Adam Sandler is a fat black lesbian because he needs to win a roller derby to win money to save the local feline AIDS shelter or something
Because of a loophole in the law you can bank jail time for a crime you intend to commit in the future and be completely exonerated.
Two high school dropouts plan a robbery and start a 10 year stretch however one chickens out and goes on to lead normal life
20 years later his former partner turns up at his home
That's just moronic enough to get made.
Kill Brian Bendis. It'll save Hollywood.
>Bendis killed Marvel comics
>DC hires Bendis
>Bendis killed DC comics
>MCU starts adapting Bendis's stuff
>Worst years of cinema
You have once shot to stop this before it's too late. It's for money. You've done worse.
Face Off 2.
The easiest way to make good is like Cast Away. You know I'm serious because I spelled the title right. Watch Cast Away note how Zemeckis uses darkness, sound, and a very intimate camera to create visceral feelings from simple setup. The premise "a strait-laced man gets stranded on an island and reconstituted" could be anything, intent matters. So just remake your favorite thing, viscerally. Unless it's star wars or star trak
"Harry Potter but visceral"
"Titanic but visceral"
"Marvel but visceral" is just raimi spider-man, skip that one
"Goodnight Moon but visceral"
you have lots of options with this wisdom
A socially anxious man whos exterior personality contrasts largely with his inner self (almost as if hes wearing a mask) goes to visit his grandmother whom hes never seen in person for the summer. Upon arriving she mistakes him for the gardener (as he's half mexican) and he is too feeble and cowardly to correct her. Instead of spending the summer relaxing and enjoying his grandmothers beautiful estate, he spends the summer sleeping in a small shack and doing yard work. He's resentful and spiteful the entire time but is unable to fix the problem by confronting his fear of interaction.
synecdoche, new york already exists AND it didn't go over great the first time
do they bang?
A boy falls in love with a girl. Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl’s phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn’t exist in this universe at all. She is the girl’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.
Why? You or the other people who will be involved will just add woke crap to it and ruin it. No thanks.
rob schneider turns into a stapler. hilarity ensues
A man suspects his wife of infidelity after she gives birth to a tapir. His friends and family think he's crazy, and his distrust of his wife's loyalty is wrecking his marriage.
A man discovers his wife of twenty years was three tapirs stacked on top of each other. He struggles on how to break the news to his children
White people act like Black folk and we see the (black) main characters logical response to this
act white?
every /misc/ and /x/ conspiracy theory condensed into a 4 hour epic stringing from atlantis, hyperborea, hitler living in antartica and culminating on Q
Q crosses the line into well poisoning. Anything after 2016 isn't an authentic Cinemaphile meme, so the first three are fine but no nukes are fake, space is fake, WW2 didn't happen etc. and no Q. It's all well poisoning. Maybe we should take heed of the fact that Atlantis, Hyperborea, and Hitler in Antarctica all predate Cinemaphile and memes were really about sharing. Now that we've shared it all, innovation rings hollow.
Exit moons of Guppiter: Night
It is always night in space except when it is day
It's about a family of brothers who are all pairs of siamese twins
>one pair almost gets kicked out of school for allegedly cheating on an exam (copying off the other twin)
>for another pair, each of them have IQs of 200+, and their minds are connected like a hive mind, and they become very successful in a company like Google/Goldman Sachs/Facebook, and one conjoined twin tries to act corrupt while the other tries to be honest, and they each switch stances
>one pair of conjoined twins, one tries to kill the other, or somehow forges the other's signature and tricks him into getting separated or legally surgically decapitated/removed or something
>one pair is basically a normal person, gorgeous, actually like a male-model-tier handsome ass motherfricker, but he has a deformed conjoined twin face like under his armpit that can be concealed, and he moves to LA to become and actor, hides the other's face, then the other's face blows his cover during an audition and the producers try to "go with it" and cast him for other roles, but he gets so infuriated at his "other" face and punches it while the helpless deformed face whimpers in agony, just horrifying shit that ruins his rep in LA
>one pair is conjoined at the scalps, and instead of being 2 heads on one body, it's 2 fully functioning bodies, so basically 2 people who are always hunched over. they end up becoming the world's best wrestler/jiu-jitsu grappler
>one pair where one is a star medical student and one is a drug addict. the medical student agrees to aid the drug habit IF the other one helps him study, learning twice as fast (as many conjoined twins can read each other's minds). As the medical student advances, the other's drug habit gets worse and worse. As he's performing his first surgery, they have an acid flashback but they still have to perform the surgery.
I don't know how it ends or how many twins there are.
A chud and a troony get frozen for crimes against the state
One hundred years later, they are unfrozen because society can no longer maintain the freezing facilities. The last asian scientist desperately works to wake as many as he can while the rest begin rot in their pods. Chud and troon emerge into a world where...
>everyone is dark brown
>everyone speaks PERFECT english. There's no sign of any other language or accent except mumbling
>people have minimal identity and a small amount of plain personal space
>on the other hand, pop culture and outside identities are virtually breaking the door down to get inside you
>ads everywhere that look and speak directly to you
>celebrities on big screens tell you how to live
>pop music is just sex sounds and money app notification sounds
>Apple and Google are technarchs of the world (real sponsorship deal if possible)
C&T try to enjoy their celebrity status as white people but the talk show circuit is a disaster. Future people are beyond fricked up. Troon decides to "go home" and has a breakdown when Chud informs him they can't go back in time. They search for others who escaped the freeze locker, and take a makeshift tribe to some land modernoids avoid, a radioactive disaster zone. The millennials cry with joy and kiss the irradiated asphalt of a slightly obsolete AppleTown that can be theirs forever, and start tearing down screen signs. THE END?
total OP death