>if I see a web and it's got some dead bugs in it, he's doing his job.
that's the female >if he's just randomly fricking around on my floor, he's dead. No NEET spiders in my house.
that's a male spider
the males can use web lines to escape danger, they just don't do the orb webs. they just wander around and survive until they find a mate. they are the ones you find and freak you out but they are just males trying to get laid
the males can use web lines to escape danger, they just don't do the orb webs. they just wander around and survive until they find a mate. they are the ones you find and freak you out but they are just males trying to get laid
Based
My spiders pay their rent in keeping flies out.
The minute I see flies buzzing around my room? Games up, you're getting the evax and I'm tearing down your webs and killing the babies.
Pic related. He got lazy so he had to go. I starved it in a glass overnight then threw it in the toilet. Glass on the right is a daddy long legs this stupid fricking spider couldn't catch. I let him live after a dazzling display of agility around my room for hours
I basically have a pet spider at work
He lives at my desk and I don't kill it, I think it hides whenever the janny comes around
Haven't seen any other bugs since it showed up
For me, if it startles me, it's dead. If it doesn't, it stays (until it does). Depending on the spider, it may or may not be possible for it to be killed or survive based on that single rule.
Same but against wienerroaches. Spiderbros can chill in my house as long as they're generally out of sight out of mind. I just have one rule though which is not in my bedroom. If they go in my bedroom they get put outside.
I could kill the bugs if I wanted. I feel little sympathy for them. Flies and shit are annoying as hell. Spiders are gross but useful. However, in the ULTIMATE display of power, I usually choose to show mercy and exile them rather than execute them.
I always save the spiders. They eat the shit I kill, we're on the same side. It kills flies and gnats and roaches and I don't want any of that shit in my home. If it's big enough it catches me off guard, I toss it outside. One time I woke up and a freaking tarantula was sleeping under my chest. I've never even seen one in person before. I put him in a tree.
...One time I was in the shower, and there was this one spider, she'd kept a nest and had eggs repeatedly for several years, it was like a pet at this point. So I had a crazy thought, and I talked to it. ...I said "Hey, if you can understand me, I'm gonna set my hand right here. Just walk up to it." and it started walking right to my hand. I freaked but didn't move my hand and I said "Okay, okay that's far enough thanks. Just checking" and it went back into it's nest.
I genuinely look down on people who are bothered by spiders. Its pathetic. I catch them with my bare hands and admire them as they climb around on my fingers. I am better than you.
Is there anything worse when you're sitting in your house quietly and you hear the scream of a woman? It gets your heart rate going only to find it's some fricking spider on the window. I want to throw her out of the house for that.
whether i save or kill a spider is exclusively based on whether or not he's making himself useful.
if I see a web and it's got some dead bugs in it, he's doing his job.
if he's just randomly fricking around on my floor, he's dead. No NEET spiders in my house.
I have a 3 hit policy. I hit the bug 3 times, and if the bugs evades the deadly hits 3 times, which is obviously rare, they earn my respect and thus gets respectfuly taken outside the house.
>thanks for letting me outside your house >walks outside >enters the garage
it doesn't even make any sense in the context of the joke or of the movie scene it's parodying.
They don't really do anything 2bh, even the big ones just hang around on the walls.
Don't make noise, don't go out of their way to bite people, they just look disturbing is all.
Only been bitten once when i grabbed an outdoor chair and accidentally grabbed a spider, barely felt it.
Huntsmans can stay provided they stay in the bathroom or laundry. I don't like them in my bedroom.
Daddy long legs have free rein of the house.
Anything else gets put outside unless it's highly poisonous then it get squashed unfortunately.
Moths die straight up.
Huntsmans can stay provided they stay in the bathroom or laundry. I don't like them in my bedroom.
Daddy long legs have free rein of the house.
Anything else gets put outside unless it's highly poisonous then it get squashed unfortunately.
Moths die straight up.
Someone from Aus told me you c**ts have to check your shoes every morning in case some poisonous spider went there last night? WTF imagine cucking to the arachnid israelite so hard you guys live in fear of your feet getting bitten because you’re too hung over to keep your windows closed?
Every year the huntsman spiders have a breeding period or something and my living room gets every wall and the ceiling covered in hundreds and hundreds of tiny little baby huntsman spiders. They cover every surface and the ones on the ceiling all do the drop down webs when you walk near them so it's like an obstacle course to walk through the room. They all disperse after a week or two though so it's okay.
All spiders are your friends. There isn't a single spider that goes out of its way to harm humans. If you see cobwebs in a dark forgotten corner, it's probably a black widow or brown recluse so be careful. Don't stick your hand into dark forgotten corners of your house without checking first.
If you are the type of person who kills spiders and, god forbid, lizards on sight, and then you have the gall to complain about flies or wienerroaches, you deserve everything you get in life.
>be nice to spiders >have some around >go away for a trip a month and half >all my shit is in micro webs
not falling for your online spider tricks again you gays
If these bastards wanted to survive a human encounter they should have put some evolution points into looking less spooky. I feel no remorse about killing spooky or disgusting things which is basically every insect or spider
Right around my early twenties I couldn't bring myself to killing insects anymore. I used to just squash them if I saw them in thouse but now I take the effort to put them outside if I can. I just can't kill a thing that's minding it's own business.
I think the empathy part of my brain developed around that age.
that screenshot is so comically bad it's funnier than the original joke
i hate people that save spiders and bugs instead of killing them
whether i save or kill a spider is exclusively based on whether or not he's making himself useful.
if I see a web and it's got some dead bugs in it, he's doing his job.
if he's just randomly fricking around on my floor, he's dead. No NEET spiders in my house.
spiders are cute tho
being cute does not deter other bugs from entering my domain.
eating them does deter them.
sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
>if I see a web and it's got some dead bugs in it, he's doing his job.
that's the female
>if he's just randomly fricking around on my floor, he's dead. No NEET spiders in my house.
that's a male spider
you're basically a spider sexist
>that's a male spider
no incel spiders in my house either.
Wait, male spiders can't make webs?
Spider-MAN has a lot of explaining to do.
the males can use web lines to escape danger, they just don't do the orb webs. they just wander around and survive until they find a mate. they are the ones you find and freak you out but they are just males trying to get laid
Omg, yass queen, Spider-Man confirmed trans.
Based
My spiders pay their rent in keeping flies out.
The minute I see flies buzzing around my room? Games up, you're getting the evax and I'm tearing down your webs and killing the babies.
Pic related. He got lazy so he had to go. I starved it in a glass overnight then threw it in the toilet. Glass on the right is a daddy long legs this stupid fricking spider couldn't catch. I let him live after a dazzling display of agility around my room for hours
Dropped my pic
Nice moldy glass, gay.
>he
>his
Most spiders you see are female. Males are tiny
that information is worthless to me
Use the correct pronouns
>Use the correct pronouns
no. i am going to misgender spiders before killing them so they will die humiliated
I basically have a pet spider at work
He lives at my desk and I don't kill it, I think it hides whenever the janny comes around
Haven't seen any other bugs since it showed up
What if it has a web under your furniture or inside the walls and it's been, unbeknownst to you, actively keeping at bay a invasion of earwigs?
For me, if it startles me, it's dead. If it doesn't, it stays (until it does). Depending on the spider, it may or may not be possible for it to be killed or survive based on that single rule.
I save bugs because what you do to the least of God's creatures you do also to him. Enjoy hell!
>I let thieves in my house because what you do to the least of God's creatures you do also to him. Enjoy hell!
unironically yes. being attached to your impermanent material things is cringe
okay.
on an totally unrelated note, can i come over?
The spider us my ally in the war against the eternal gnat.
Same but against wienerroaches. Spiderbros can chill in my house as long as they're generally out of sight out of mind. I just have one rule though which is not in my bedroom. If they go in my bedroom they get put outside.
I could kill the bugs if I wanted. I feel little sympathy for them. Flies and shit are annoying as hell. Spiders are gross but useful. However, in the ULTIMATE display of power, I usually choose to show mercy and exile them rather than execute them.
If I kill them I just feel pathetic honestly.
I always save the spiders. They eat the shit I kill, we're on the same side. It kills flies and gnats and roaches and I don't want any of that shit in my home. If it's big enough it catches me off guard, I toss it outside. One time I woke up and a freaking tarantula was sleeping under my chest. I've never even seen one in person before. I put him in a tree.
...One time I was in the shower, and there was this one spider, she'd kept a nest and had eggs repeatedly for several years, it was like a pet at this point. So I had a crazy thought, and I talked to it. ...I said "Hey, if you can understand me, I'm gonna set my hand right here. Just walk up to it." and it started walking right to my hand. I freaked but didn't move my hand and I said "Okay, okay that's far enough thanks. Just checking" and it went back into it's nest.
spiders just want to eat all the bugs that can actually cause you and your house harm. and they do it for free
I genuinely look down on people who are bothered by spiders. Its pathetic. I catch them with my bare hands and admire them as they climb around on my fingers. I am better than you.
Your dumb kind survived because of people like me killing them
Is there anything worse when you're sitting in your house quietly and you hear the scream of a woman? It gets your heart rate going only to find it's some fricking spider on the window. I want to throw her out of the house for that.
>newbie can’t into spiderbro
I have a 3 hit policy. I hit the bug 3 times, and if the bugs evades the deadly hits 3 times, which is obviously rare, they earn my respect and thus gets respectfuly taken outside the house.
normal words but a spider guy
Bros there's a frick huge spider above me as I type this what should I do?
have sex with it
are you a scared woman? than kill it
are you a beta male? trap it and bring it outside
are you based? let it be
>are you a scared woman? than kill it
Scared women confirmed based.
Nope, being based constitutes either letting it be or cumming on it
Get the microwave ready
Ejaculate on it
wait, why is he wearing a suit?
BAHAHAHAHAHA
>thanks for letting me outside your house
>walks outside
>enters the garage
it doesn't even make any sense in the context of the joke or of the movie scene it's parodying.
Yeah why wouldn’t Peter at least lay out a tarp?
It was among the arachnids. It was real eggsac shit.
Why is Family Guy so shamless?
This bit confused me at first because its referencing Tommys death but theres also another character named Spider that gets killed
any ausgays here? how do you handle the spider question
They don't really do anything 2bh, even the big ones just hang around on the walls.
Don't make noise, don't go out of their way to bite people, they just look disturbing is all.
Only been bitten once when i grabbed an outdoor chair and accidentally grabbed a spider, barely felt it.
Holy frick that's horrifying
Huntsmans can stay provided they stay in the bathroom or laundry. I don't like them in my bedroom.
Daddy long legs have free rein of the house.
Anything else gets put outside unless it's highly poisonous then it get squashed unfortunately.
Moths die straight up.
Someone from Aus told me you c**ts have to check your shoes every morning in case some poisonous spider went there last night? WTF imagine cucking to the arachnid israelite so hard you guys live in fear of your feet getting bitten because you’re too hung over to keep your windows closed?
Every year the huntsman spiders have a breeding period or something and my living room gets every wall and the ceiling covered in hundreds and hundreds of tiny little baby huntsman spiders. They cover every surface and the ones on the ceiling all do the drop down webs when you walk near them so it's like an obstacle course to walk through the room. They all disperse after a week or two though so it's okay.
are the females hot at least?
>leave window open
>let the bugs in
>free protein snacks
Hey Renfield, your movie fricking sucked
All spiders are your friends. There isn't a single spider that goes out of its way to harm humans. If you see cobwebs in a dark forgotten corner, it's probably a black widow or brown recluse so be careful. Don't stick your hand into dark forgotten corners of your house without checking first.
If you are the type of person who kills spiders and, god forbid, lizards on sight, and then you have the gall to complain about flies or wienerroaches, you deserve everything you get in life.
Sick opening post, hope you don't mind if I save a 'cap of it
excellent work anon, i snagged a quick screenshot of your cap myself. feel free to copy and save it if you want
>I go to baskin robbins every night and treat myself to a lil' treat
>be nice to spiders
>have some around
>go away for a trip a month and half
>all my shit is in micro webs
not falling for your online spider tricks again you gays
there are no spiders posting in this thread
They've been caught in the past.
The only bugs I spare and take out of home without harming are moths.
If these bastards wanted to survive a human encounter they should have put some evolution points into looking less spooky. I feel no remorse about killing spooky or disgusting things which is basically every insect or spider
>make my house look lootable
>murder all intruders
>no trace of them ever coming to my house, authorities think they ran away
Right around my early twenties I couldn't bring myself to killing insects anymore. I used to just squash them if I saw them in thouse but now I take the effort to put them outside if I can. I just can't kill a thing that's minding it's own business.
I think the empathy part of my brain developed around that age.
>parenting kicks in
>saves spiders instead
>OH N-