>I'm sorry anon, it's just..
>The police noticed you weren't laughing when you saw No Hard Feelings
>They... They want to know when you've last had sex...
>I'm sorry.
>I'm sorry anon, it's just.. >The police noticed you weren't laughing when you saw No Hard Feelings
Robert you know me, YOU KNOW ME!
>that's right, anon . . . and I'm afraid that's exactly the problem
Rob wouldn't say that. He'd only feel deep regret.
I fricked my hand before coming here if that counts, Rob.
You know their right behind you Robert
well then ill just take my complementary bucket of crab legs and go then
>"Hey anon, good to see you. Today we're issuing the no singles policy, but due to your history with us, we're providing you with a gf for the session. Enjoy you kino, anon!"
Robert I told you, Maud always puts her cigarettes out on my arm when I'm trying to watch the movie. All of my jackets have burn holes in the arm. She doesn't even eat the crab legs, she just sips the Kinoplex Butter™ straight from the cup.
Thanks Robert, you're a real bro.
Uh, Robert, you know I only date black women
Robert is against race mixing.
Surely he makes an exception for us anons, right?
>"oh, you don't have a gf? Here, use the store gf... She's kind of used up but she'll do the job..."
Make the bucket of crab legs an extra portion Robert, this lucky lady is going to get spoiled tonight!
You could always be my first, Robert.
OH NO THIS IS LIKE PENIS INSPECTION DAY ALL OVER AGAIM
Let me at least check those trips before they take me away...for old times sake...
>anon, you finally here! great we're going to game and don't worry the crab legs are on me
>Robert on the wrong side of his counter
What witchcraft is this?
Anon... You've been working here all along. Robert has always been your favorite customer.
>pick up
>spin
>WOAH SO COOOOOOLLLL!!!!!!
I want to go to America just for the cinemas, they look comfy as frick.
Reserved seating.
>Can't see my mom next to her boyfriend
>See her in the Serial Dog Rapist section
This doesn't make any sense. Why would you have Cinema Vipers next to the Aviary ? They would constantly fighting and distracting from the movie. Not to mention, the bored snipers would get bored and take pot-shots at them.
Nice try anon, but the seating is completely unrealistic.
My local kinoplex has a forgery to store our anvils instead of a Flavourtown bar and grill. Feels bad man
I mean hearing americans talk about them they sound like overpriced human zoos.
Do europoors not have kinoplexs? How do you watch kino?
I'm not European, I'm from Cuba.
grim, should have swam over when you had the chance
Can you buy a proxy in Cuba?
Do you have jury-rigged projectors playing old American films from the 50s?
We do. The biggest in Europe is in my country, in fact. I saw people driving through it in golfcarts.
The Grand Rex in paris france?
All the ones around me are boring and suck dick now, they're just glorified restaurants with barely any movie-related decorations. I miss the old ones around here that had a shit ton of neon and walls and walls of movie posters.
It's not all its chalked up to be. The gay ass dance they make you do when you enter is emasculating as frick.
There’s a lot of fat people in the cinema. The obesity rate basically doubles in there.
Who the frick wants that much butter on popcorn? Doesn't that make it messy as frick to eat? For me, movie theater popcorn is plenty tasty with no butter at all.
it's note even butter you moron it's butter flavored onions oil
wtf i didn't type onions i typed onions
Damn, I have a job??
He's been replaced.
FFFRICK.
I hope none of you anons genuinely relate to this.
if only you knew how bad things really are
yeah none of us actually have any social anxiety were all just playing pretend and imagining what it would be like
duh
ITS FRICKING OVER
WHERE'S ROBERT, WHERE IS HE!
big guy is almost a complement
>*speaks with Sandy Cheeks voice*
>I...uh..um...one ticket to AGGHHHHGHHGGHHG WOMEN OWE ME SEX SEX FRICK SEX b***h prostitute SEX GIVE NOW HUMP HUMP SEXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>*Passes out and pees*
>shut the frick up gay ass wyteboi where’s my homie robert at
>FOR U
I laughed.
I love bonbi
A TICKET FOR PLAP PLAP PLAP GET PREGNANT PLAP PLAP uh I mean one ticket for oppenheimer please
>So anon? what's gonna be?
The frick are you?
Give him back NOW. Robert wouldn't give me another card so he had all my membership points memorized in his head. With him gone I'm fricking RUINED
>DON'T WORRY ANON! I'M COMING!
roberta sama prease rook out for banar peer!
OH N-
Say his name.
Not like this. Robert, you can't be dead. You just can't.
You..
You still owe me my tenth order of crab legs for free.
ROBERT, YOU CAN'T GO
I LITERALLY CAN'T ORDER MY KINO FROM ANYONE ELSE
i would give my homie robert mouth to mouth
no homo
MMMM WATCHA SAAAAY
ROBERTOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I
ROBERT NO, WATCH OU-
Frick you George.
>white robert is always on point and never hooks you up with extra crab legs or falcon chow
>white robert also refuses to honor any 'robert points' (instances where accrued time in popcorn mines can be used towards kinoplex goods and services)
listen "george" i dont know what the frick you think this is or who the frick you think you are. where the frick is robert?
Oh thank frick. I'm so tired of having to check my receipt every time I watch kino
Why would you have to do that?
And that is why Robert is missing today
>no 'plus tip'
One job.
C’mon man, Robert isn’t that petty
is there an asian robert?
there's a mexican one
como estas Roberto?
>Sorry sir, me no comprendo spanish
>Somehow "no singles policy" returned
hey where's Robert? frick outta here with your honkey ass homie George
Eat absolute shit, chowdermonkey and give me back my robert NOW
frick off you irish c**t, where's Robert
Robert is my homie, he said I could say that you fricking Black person where is he?
one ticket to Five Nights at Freddy's please
I'm going to sneak into BARBIE instead
Is Robert the most wholesome Cinemaphile meme? He always makes me smile
Yes
>starts off as the friendly but oblivious normigger
>becomes the only person in the world that understands Anon
Yes, he even persists through polhomosexuals attempts to subvert him into their hateful bullshit. He will always be a legend of the kinoplex
I think YOU are trying to subvert this thread with YOUR hateful bullshit, anon.
Nope, I just love Robert.
you just HAD to seethe about /misc/ in a cozy thread
He is one of the good ones.
A Bounty, as I like to call 'em.
he seems nice
Don't look up the erotic novellas r34 they are very lewd and filled with racial stereotypes.
Phew, I thought they were here to arrest me for jerking off to the nude scene.
I learned about ameriburgers actually eating crab legs through Robert
here in boston we eat more than just the legs
Not surprising Irish people don't have manners
October of last year. A girl I worked with let me frick her in the ass. She was a bit chubby but had a cute face.
nice!
Come on Robert, I already told you my girlfriend goes to another kinoplex. You know this...
I couldn't finish it, it was so cringe. If they wanted to actually depict a lonely virgin they couldn't have done it worse.
>ATTENTION CINEMA GOERS
>ANON IN SEAT 10 ROW 3 IS EATING BEANS
>Great fiber source, pal!
Robert, you know I have IBS. Why would you do this to me?
>AYO
>DIS homie
>EATIN BEANZ
>Robert banned me from the Kinoplex BBS again
>you'll never take me alive, coppers!
I wonder what real Robert thinks about all of this
god i hope he knows hes a meme, would both be a pleasure and a curse
I'm afraid he would reject us
Then you don't understand a thing about robert. He would NEVER reject us, it is not in his nature
well once he hears how the rest of the world labels us yeah he'd have no choice, thats how propaganda works
test
I know you're here, Burds.
Also Cinemaphile loves Tim Meadows and Keith David. And Frrest Whittaker.
How could you forget the GOAT
And Clancy Brown. He's not black but his name sure as hell is.
Robert threads are truly the last reason to come to Cinemaphile. Thanks guys.
Shutup dickweed
Cinemaphile has probably the most jungle fever out of any board on this site; I don't know what you're on about.
Black women belong to white men.
No one cares, kys dweeb
the most racist people are non-white. Cinemaphile is mostly white so it makes sense the racism is minimal
So that's the way it's going to be huh? Sorry Robert, but the fire flower RISES.
Does anyone have the map with the mines and designated shooters?
I know nobody cares but I actually got two new friends (not imaginary). I went to see a movie with them already (Dr. Strange 2).
Robert, I pulled my foreskin back and applied a pinch of fresh green aphids. Such beautiful creatures. They're hurting my wiener Robert, they're marching into my piss hole.
What do you mean "we're out of artificial butter-like dipping sauce"? What am I supposed to eat with my complimentary krab legs? Should I just choke on dry krab meat while the latest marvel kinography is playing?
THAT Black folk GOT A GUN!
>i'm sorry robert, blame the game not the playa