I'm sorry, Sir.
I did not understand you there.
One ticket for the magical what?
 Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
 Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
I'm sorry, Sir. I did not understand you there. One ticket for the magical what?
y-you know, the m-magical n-wor- ah forget it Robert I'll come back another time!
>The Magical, uh, African-American...no, sorry! I meant, The Magical, uh, Black...no, sorry! I meant...
frick off robert
magical Black folkS, Robert
that's right
me on the right
Robert you little rascal, you've fricked with me twice now. If you make me say it a third time, I'm going to use the hard r. You've been warned.
Oh I’m sorry, I meant TWO tickets for The American Society of Magical Blacks please
Is this the mf who denied me my delicious cheetocorn!?
imagine how orange dusty that fat frick that spins corn must be after a full 12 hours of making cheetocorn
>Oh sorry Robert, I forgot, but my girlfriend wanted us to watch that movie, hope you don’t mind that I brought her along
>what was the name of the movie again babe?
Robert's sister got that ghetto booty hehe
One ticket for Magic Mike, please.
based homosexual poster
Hang urself homosexual.
What would this homie do if I said the American Society of Magical Black folk?
The Harlem Globetrotters movie is being re-screened in Theatre 9 sir. Enjoy the show.
The US Association of Occult African-Americans
>it's 10:30pm, I walk out of my showing of Joker
>decide to meet up with some friends in the kinoplex lobby to share some drinks and maybe a bucket of crab legs
>we sit and chat the night away, time passes fast
>around quarter to one, I hear Robert's booming timbre:
>"Kinoplex is closing, lads! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!"
>he gives us a smile and a wink
>he knows that true kinosseurs like ourselves will stay and watch the 'plex elves ply their trade
>about a dozen or so of the slight creatures emerge from behind the counter, to the joy and surprise of the remaining guests
>begin to tidy up the 'plex so much quicker and efficient than the fricking wagies could ever dream
>start singing a traditional kinoplex elf work song, the soft lilt of their voice brings a tear to my eye
>Robert gently inclines his head towards me, a sign of mutual respect
>as the elves carry off the last remaining corpse from the day's theater shooting to dump it in the incinerator, I raise my glass to Robert in a final salute before exiting the kinoplex
>"Farewell, Anon!" Robert booms, "Tell the wife I said 'hello!'"
>I chuckle softly as I shut the door behind me. Robert knows my secret, but helps me maintain the charade so I don't get thrown in the virgin pits.
>I shut the door to my Prizm as my falcon lands on the seat next to me.
>what a lovely day at the kinoplex!
I love the Robert-Kinoplex Extended Universe so much bros
Very good true story. Would love to hear more true stories.
>2016+1
>sitting back, maxxing and relaxing
>about to enjoy BR2049 for the fifth time
>a dude and his chick sit in the same row as me, a few seats down
>no worries, it's a packed house and as many people as possible should view this kino
>thirty minutes into the film
>hear this chick whisper to her boyfriend "time to toot!"
>watch out of the corner of my eye as she stands up and shimmies her jean shorts off her plump derriere and down her skinny little frame
>bends forward slightly at the waist
>emits a sharp "toot!"
>audience members chuckle
>hear people all throughout the viewing room standing up, unbuckling belts, sliding pants to the floor
>my ears are suddenly filled with the sounds of errant tooting, some windy and long, some squeaky and short, others release a low, grumbling roar
>the rank waft of gas passes by me, I crinkle my nose but don't want to be rude
>the tooting eventually evolves into a "call and response" sort of game between the participants
>I keep my seat and focus on the kino, despite the incessant noise and smell of lads and lasses raucously evacuating their asses
>the chick next to me notices that I'm not participating
>holds her finger to her lips, silences the crowd
>I pretend not to see what's happening
>as she stifles giggles and the crowd whispers encouragement, she backwards bunny hops my way
>points her cacaphonous keister at the side of my head
>I hear a full throated "TOOT!" as hot air blasts my face
>mfw
That film about *your* people Robert.
The American Society of Magical People that I Hate
Oh frick! I'm so sorry, Robert. Frickin' shit! How do I make this up to you?
*pulls down pants*
*gets on all fours*
*spreads cheeks*
*winks hole*
*tucks rock hard wiener between legs so he can see my wiener and balls from behind as he approaches to enter me*
Alright, I'm ready to have sex. You man enough to gape me with that BBC?
this is aggressively unfunny
UNF... heh heh... OONF! F-frick Robert... y-you're s-so dee-GAH!
*arches back*
*feels Robert's powerful hand make it's way to my throat*
Oh frick yes, choke me! ChokemechokemechokemechokemeCHOKEME!
*jizzes hands-free as me Robert pounds my ass and squeezes me neck*
LTG, is that you?
>Sticks dildo up your own ass
I'm a chud who never thinks about this shit. Why are other chuds obsessed with bbc? Is it a generational thing? I'm 25 for context.
I'm also trans if that matters.
Okay but why does black wiener specifically excite you? Why not just big wieners in general?
Robbie, cmon. You heard.
The Magical Trust Fund Band and one bucket of Baskin Roberts, please and thank you!
Why would you be buying a ticket at the concession stand?
This. I buy all my tickets online so I don't even have to talk to anyone except the guy who checks my ticket. And him/her I just say "uh here" and after they check "uh thanks"
You see, when the moron scheduled for box calls out, the moron scheduled for concessions has to work double duty, and if the popcorn homosexual has called out too, then the manager is running the entire operation until the door chud arrives and can sell and tear tickets
Because I only trust Robert at the Kinoplex.
>I bought the ticket online Black person stop talking to me
>"Magical why is that machine to your left empty? Are you really too lazy to refill it?"
we call it voodoo where I'm from Robert you god damn honkey fool