I'M THE SPY

I'M THE SPY

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >went form a hardcore nazi to this

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Kind of reminds of children playing pretend. They just make shit up as they go.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >orders the deaths of billions in episode 7
      >suddenly he's the butt of yo mama jokes and then this scene happens

      what in the actual frick were they thinking with these movies

      I find it funny how Americans and /misc/tards in general found him impressive and intimidating in episode 7 because he channelled Goebbels for some ridiculous NSDAP party-convention mockup speech. I watched it in a German cinema, and the audience laughed out loud, taking it as intentional parody to ridicule the character. Because it frankly was ridiculous, just like the no one looks at historical nazi speeches (or rather shouted ramblings) and takes them seriously anymore. Most people even ridiculed than back then (Charlie Chaplin famously did).
      Making him the butt of bad jokes and a pathetic snivelling loser in episode 8 was just a consequent continuation of what had already been set up there in 7 - even if Abrams did not intend to set the character up that way. Abrams is a complete idiot and the quintessential uneducated American afterall.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        That wasn't the reason this plot point was criticized. It was rightfully shat on because the twist that he was a spy working for the resistance made absolutely no fricking sense considering how many people who sided wtih the Resistance that he killed. Also, his only reason for betraying the First Order and siding with the Resistance was because he didn't like Kylo Ren, which was a fricking moronic motivation. The story and writing was already an unsalvageable mess, but at that point it came off like the writers were making the story terrible on purpose. It was a complete insult to people's intelligence.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >the twist that he was a spy working for the resistance made absolutely no fricking sense
          In a flick where Palpatine "somehow" returns via "cloning, dark science, secrets only the sith knew", that is all just a big macguffin hunt, some random character "dies" every ten minutes and is brought back five minutes later, where some ancient artifact happens to have a secret pointer that lines up perfectly with some relatively recent random space wreckage in a random place, one that is filled with fanservice galore and otherwise just a huge mess of incoherent scenes ... yeah, in such a flick, turning a gag character into a spy just for a needless plotpoint makes perfect sense, actually.
          Your problem was that you thought you'd have to take episode 9 seriously, or that it tried to tell a story.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >Your problem was that you thought you'd have to take episode 9 seriously, or that it tried to tell a story.
            Well yes, that's what everyone who watched it the first time assumed. After the credits rolled everyone realized that israelite israelite Abrams just didn't care since he knew that he was already gonna make so much fricking money regardless of how bad the movie was.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            You forgot about the major plot point that was revealed in a Fortnite cutscene but not included in the movie at all

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >german cinema
        >people making noise in cinema
        either you are a lying gay or you went into a screening filled with turks and arabs

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Believe it or not, but even in Germany, people laugh at comedies (including unintentionally comedic scenes).
          German audiences will not gasp loudly when something unexpected happens, or scream at a character in a horror flick. But comedic moments have always been exempt from the "keep it to ourself and don't ruin other people's experiences" rule.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Christoph Waltz says German humor is a myth.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              He's Austrian (like Hitler). He wouldn't know.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I agree, Hitler looked like an asshat during his speeches and it's a wonder the germans actually took it at face value back then.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Pretty much everyone "looked" like Hitler during speeches. It was the style at the time because before the advent of TV most people watching speeches would be too far away to see their face, so the speechmaker would exaggerate body language to make it clear what they were trying to convey even to people in the nosebleed section. It pretty much went away after TV was popularized because you could effectively be face to face with the speechmaker.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >it's a wonder the germans actually took it at face value back then.
          Most didn't. The NSDAP never had a majority in a Weimar election (the one which had Hitler come to power saw them at slightly above 30% of the electorate), and most of its actual supporters were rich industrials and other elites, while the common folk who voted for them did so mostly due to falling for false promises and out of disappointment with the established democratic parties. They didn't really care all that much for the top dogs' speeches. And after dismantling the republic and turning Germany into a police state, people didn't dare speak out publicly against their bullshit, even though they considered it ridiculous both in style and content (there were many anti-government jokes that were shared in secret though), among older people at least. The youth, of course, grew up in the new system, got indoctrinated systematically, and just didn't know any better.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous
  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >orders the deaths of billions in episode 7
    >suddenly he's the butt of yo mama jokes and then this scene happens

    what in the actual frick were they thinking with these movies

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Even at his most genocidal he is very weaselly and not really supposed to be respectable.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      this is what happens when you make a movie via committee but also shuffle the committee around every few months

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They wanted to see how much moronic shit and bad writing they could get away with. They knew Star Wars fans would eat up whatever was shit on their plate, so they wanted to take the biggest shit on the franchise as possible and see if fans would still eat it up. They did.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      they have that little amount of respect for their audience that they feel they have to make his evilness as obvious as holding r2 for witcher senses. But they made things that were happening so moronic they had a zoom call and the committee decided actually he's a spy, checkmate internet review trolls

      >old woman randomly decides to walk dozens of miles in the middle of the empty desert to the old Lars residence that has been empty for decades and just so happens to run across Rey to interrogate her

      her space camel looks like something you'd see in India

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >the committee
        There was no "committee". Just Abrams and Terrio. That's the problem. Disney let their creators do whatever they wanted. It's why Last Jedi was so different from the other two (and didn't even try to cater to fanboys), and why the other two were complete Mystery Box trash (and approach trademarked by Abrams) with no proper resolution and a complete mess filled with empty fanservice.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >He murdered 155 billion people with the starkiller thing
      >is the brunt of a yo-mama joke next movie
      Rian Johnson should be hung

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        What yo mama joke?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          He's talking about the prank call.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            the opening bit of TLJ has poe scooting around a star destroyer taunting hux

            At the start of the last Jedi, Poe calls first order ship and tells them he has a message for Hux’s mother

            Got a link to the scene? I bloughted out my memories of that shitty movie.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              I'm not typing "poe hux mother" into youtube for you, you lazy c**t

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              ?si=Mt9JV3So9LzgfFYK

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          the opening bit of TLJ has poe scooting around a star destroyer taunting hux

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          At the start of the last Jedi, Poe calls first order ship and tells them he has a message for Hux’s mother

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        https://youtu.be/rlKHmgc3POo?si=Mt9JV3So9LzgfFYK

        Kek. Reminds me of this shit.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >be spy
    >get shot

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i'ᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐiᵐᵉ

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >TF2 theme starts playing

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      SPIES BLOODY USELESS

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder all nu wars is homosexual shit

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    First Order is so fricking lame it’s painful. They have no intimidation factor like the empire with all the fricking 20 something diversity hires running it. Is it ever explained why the republic does nothing and we’re back to alliance but way gayer?

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    THE SPY WHO?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Spy.. Solo

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Rey Spywalker

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >old woman randomly decides to walk dozens of miles in the middle of the empty desert to the old Lars residence that has been empty for decades and just so happens to run across Rey to interrogate her

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        She was hoping to rip out the copper pipes in the house, but Rey was loitering there, so she tried to make it awkward for Rey so she could frick off.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        a good story for another time

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    You ordered the destruction of Hosnian system resulting in the death of billions, I don't think we can take you.

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    AND IM JAVIER

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I AM ALL THE SPIES!

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >higher ranking officiers literally appear from nowhere

    can you blame him?

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'm the cook

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I sometimes feel sorry for some of the people in these shitflicks, they can't have known beforehand how shitty they were going to be. And it was probably so exciting for them, the prospect of being in a Star Wars movie, because those were still a big deal back then, still a big cultural landmark. You act in a Star Wars movie you become an icon, you're a part of something special. But then...

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is it true most aliens got replaced by brown dollar store knockoffs because Disney didn't want to pay George royalties?

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    SPAH SAPPIN MAH EMPIRE

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >I murdered your Death Star as well

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Movie tries so hard to make it seem like Rey, Finn, and Poe are friends with corny banter
    >Movie ends with Rey staring off into the sunset with a robot

    Seriously it's like they were trying to make a bad movie on purpose.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Big franchises usually cap off their "final" film with something bombastic and memorable.

      >Vader killing the Emperor and dying
      >Anakin becoming Vader
      >Tony Stark dying and Steve passing on the Cap mantle
      >The entirety of Pirates 3

      Nobody can tell you anything about ROS ending. Nothing happened. Rey beats the bad guy and everyone lives happily ever after.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Nothing happened.
        Well, they burried some overhyped weapon of a guy who killed some children with it and who notoriously hated sand ... in sand.
        Then some old woman came by and asked the main character for her name. Her last name, because for some reason everyone is obsessed with last names in this film. She probably wanted to stalk Rey on Facebook or something. And then Luke's force ghost appeared with a bad wig and some random snippet of Carrie Fisher from a cut scene of episode 7, made transparent.
        That's not nothing. It's not much, but it ... is.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      what will sell more toys? the Black person with a gun or a R2-D2 ball?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Revenge of the Sith ends with a melancholic shot of the binary sunset, leaving you questioning if the light will ever prevail over the dark
      >Return of the Jedi ends with a group shot of all your favorite characters smiling and having a great time, leaving you with hope for the future of the galaxy
      >Rise of Skywalker ends with a shot evocative of RotS, leaving you more concerned than happy

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They also forgot that BB-8 was Poe's droid, and is there with Rey for no reason

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      how did she not burn out her retinas
      like you can do that on earth just staring directly at one sun and she's getting double

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Skywalker bloodline completely killed off.
        >Palpatine bloodline left intact
        What did they mean by this?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >she's getting double
        Exactly. That's why. Light comes in waves, so with double suns at the correct position, you get some kind of doppler-effect thing, where the waves are in superposition in such a way that they basically erase each others spikes and the resulting wave has a much lower amplitude. Meaning it's less intense than a single sun.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      This will always be the true ending of Star Wars.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Your "true ending" of Star Wars didn't even exist before Lucas had another brainfart while preparing the Special Editions for their DVD release and called Hayden Christensen back into the studio.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Yup, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    IN THE HOUSE OF LOVE

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Gentlemen

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      RED SPY'S IN THE BASE?

      WHAT? IT WAS OBVIOUS, HE'S THE SPY

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I drank the secrets.

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I'M SPYTACUS

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    RED SPY'S IN THE BASE?

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    BY THE WAY IF YOU WALKED IN LATE
    ALLOW ME TO REITERATE
    THE NAME OF THIS MOVIE
    IS SPY HAAAARD

  26. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Kylo Ren didn't want to kill Rey here, but then what was his aim by flying so low, aiming the entire jet right at her?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      he was trying to force her to evolve into gyarados

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *