>I’M THE SPY.
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>IM THE SPY.
>I’M THE SPY.
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For the record, I don't think this is terrible. It's sporadically interesting - Rich Evans on The Last Jedi
OPs pic is from Rise THOUGH
The only bit of that film that I liked
which weasly brother is this
god im so sick of captcha
Bill, the eldest.
How the guy who blew up several plantets with billion people on them can't be a spy for le Resistance? Please, explain it to me, I'll wait.
Hitler was israeli spy for example
I think he eventually got tired of being pushed around by Kylo and turned traitor after ep 8, all off screen. Which is still moronic when you think about it.
You're not supposed to remember the previous movies while watching the new ones, chud
Shut up and enjoy the 'splosions.
How did the kylo not notice? Can't he read minds?
Sorry but it is forbidden to watch Disney Wars with your brain turned on.
IIRC canonically Kylo knew Hux was going to eventually betray him, he just did nothing about it
I don't care what anyone thinks. There's no way JJ could have salvage this after what Rian did. It's like Rian did his best to make sure no one could have made a proper conclusion. Seriously, if you were in JJ's position, how the hell could you save SWs after TLJ?
>Luke wakes up from a seizure induced from alien milk
>’han, you are alive!’
>’whatcha talkin about mate, we just finished a 7 day bender after wreckin that deathstar. We gotta go explore some more, get in the yute!’
>’youre australian?’
>‘everyone, look at this druggah, how long have you been drinkin that stuff?’
No way Harrison Ford would go back to making more star wars. Only reason he's in 7 is they promised to kill the character
>an emu walks on screen and screeches
>”strewth, you said it, Chewie”
Just recast the movie and turn it into bushland adventure
>Yoda is just an abbo who teaches Luke how to huff petrol
>Vader is in life support because he got too Rama Rama and couldn’t handle it
And you think he did himself any favors with "Somehow, Palpatine returned"? It would've been better if they had planned out the trilogy but he could've easily worked with Kylo Ren even if he was beaten twice by this point.
It's his own fricking fault for not having an outline that Rian had to be held to, the last thing he wrote was Rey holding out the lightsaber to Luke. I guess he didn't anticipate that Disney would allow a psychopath to destroy their new franchise.
>the last thing he wrote was Rey holding out the lightsaber to Luke
>Remember being so hyped for TLJ that I was literally counting the days until it was released. Managed to convince my brothers and cousins to watch it with me when it premiered at midnight at our local theatre despite it being a Friday, where most of them wanted to party, drink, or dine out
>Literally not even 5 minutes in TLJ, and Jonson decides to make the last scene TFA where Rey hands the light saber to Luke and Luke throws it away as a comedic act
>MFW this was bad omen and my reaction changed because this scene in retrospect was the tone that Rian wanted to go with by subverting every expectations fans had
Jesus Christ, my brothers and cousins still haven't let this go and constantly remind me of this moment. I still can't even recommend a movie on Fridays nights every time we get together because of the TLJ disappointment they all had. Frick Rian Jonson.
>Jesus Christ, my brothers and cousins still haven't let this go and constantly remind me of this moment. I still can't even recommend a movie on Fridays nights every time we get together because of the TLJ disappointment they all had. Frick Rian Jonson.
Deserved for having hope. You should've known better anon
Your own fault. TFA was garbage.
If
>This should begin to make things right
wasn't enough to give you a bad feeling about the trilogy, I don't know what to say.
>ummm israeliteisraelite Abrahams had no choice BUT to write Somehow Palpatine Returned...?!?!?
Frick off.
I have ideas
JJ is supposed to be a prodigy in the film industry so he should have been able to write anything to save himself, but then again he's a fricking hack and began this shitshow to begin with. Even then he could have used the original script that Colin left which was far better than what he wrote.
Why are they posing for an album cover?
these guys just show up and then get owned later
You are absolutely fricking moronic if you think JJ wasn't aboard with how TLJ was made. It was only after it was apparent everybody hated it that he did damage control. JJ is literally responsible for everything wrong with the sequels.
Jewisraelite fricked it up in the first place
>lame protagonists
>marvel quips
>stupid lightsaber
>le mystery box bad guy
>stupid as frick ending
>no reunion of Leia Luke Han
That explains so much
ik that pic is from rise of skywalker or whatever it's called but I've never seen a Ryan Johnson film that didn't have undertones of impotent spite and anger
Knives Out was an appallingly bad movie, and he WANTED to make that one, supposedly, but he clearly hates himself and everyone else so much he can't help but ruin what he does. I guess it's not even that he's so impotent and angry, even talented directors can do something with that. He's just totally inept and moronic.
>Knives Out
Probably the most insidious thing he ever made. If Ana de Armas wasn't such a hot piece of ass, more people would see that.
The first Knives Out was decent, despite Rian's usual MUH SUBVERSION inclinations. He basically lucked into a subversion (turning a whodunnit into a "audience-know-whodunnit" and spending most of the film with the apparent culprit is a fun way to do a murder mystery story) that actually worked well without being overly nonsensical or poorly thought out. And yeah, Ana de Armas helps a lot in making the movie watchable.
It's the second Knives Out that's truly appalling, both in how it fails at doing a basic, competent narrative because Johnson's so obsessed with pulling off subversions with little regard for story quality, and also in just how wilfully spiteful and it is.
>The first Knives Out was decent
In which timeline
Did you see a movie from an alternate universe or something? What exactly makes it "decent"?
It was fun. I didn't say it was a masterpiece, or even that it was full-on good. I thought it was decent:
>the mystery and family conflict is interesting enough to carry the film though once the mystery of Plummer's death is revealed, it loses steam and becomes apparent Johnson just wanted to come up with some massively convoluted scenario where someone thought they were the murderer, but then it turns out they're not, but then they were also set up to be the murderer by someone else. The man's addicted to needless narrative complexity he's nowhere near smart enough to pull off, and it's what kills every single one of his movies that I've seen.
>ensemble cast is really good even if they're not used too much after the first act or so, though I guess that's more down to the strength of the actors rather than the characters
>Daniel Craig and Ana have good chemistry and I liked the comedy bits where she's going round his back hiding everything from him while he's right there
>Daniel Craig's detective works WAY better as a side character just bumbling around, and he's not as awful and annoying as he is in the sequel
You can say it's utterly irredeemable shit if you want, because I don't really care about this film enough to defend it vehemently. But I simply don't think it's anywhere near as spiteful, structurally awful, and audience-insulting as TLJ or Glass Onion.
>It was fun
Not a legitimate appraisal of the film. You're simply analyzing your own reaction to it.
>ensemble cast is really good
I'll address this since it's the only part of your post where you are talking about the film rather than how you felt about it.
Every performance (in the film, not just among the supporting cast; and it WAS a supporting cast, not an ensemble cast, since they were not given ~equal screentime) was terrible and even you admit their presence in the script at all disappears after the first act. The script establishes none of them as the possible killers so none of them are red-herrings either. They exist to pad the film and for their personalities to be targets of Johnson's spiteful ridicule. Even this ridicule clearly doesn't exist as genuine comedy, it's an outlet for Johnson's impotence.
>Not a legitimate appraisal of the film. You're simply analyzing your own reaction to it.
Almost every piece of criticism involves the author's own personal reaction to the film. Unless you're talking about an aspect that's objectively, technically bad (e.g. poor, uncanny CGI, or an out-of-focus shot, or something like that one magically disappearing knife in TLJ), every other piece of criticism will have an inescapable level of personal subjectivity. Your basing your opinions about how irredeemably terrible the film is off of your own reaction to it, too. That's just how it works.
>Every performance (in the film, not just among the supporting cast; and it WAS a supporting cast, not an ensemble cast, since they were not given ~equal screentime) was terrible and even you admit their presence in the script at all disappears after the first act. The script establishes none of them as the possible killers so none of them are red-herrings either.
Yeah, you're right about this. It's been a good while since I saw the film so maybe my memory is overemphasising how prominent the supporting cast was. So reconsidering it, pretty much all of them are underused despite them being good actors. I think Michael Shannon had that one good scene where he threatens Ana de Armas but that was basically it, as far as the supporting cast went.
There is a difference between an observation which contributes to a conclusion and an emotional reaction.
>That's just how it works.
False. Just because you react a certain way doesn't mean that reaction is indicative of something. Your observations and logical conclusions are of greater importance. It's Humian and idiotic to say otherwise. The emotional and observational elements of human thought are distinct, just because they both exist does not mean both must necessarily contribute to a conclusion.
If these movies suck so much why is there constantly 20 threads about Star Wars on this board?
I expected admiral Laura Dern to be an imperial spy
>mfw I liked TFA and TROS but the star wars fans' seething is even better
No, child, you do not
No, child, it is not
These are your delusions speaking
Children are those who seethe over a children movie franchise.
Wrong again, atalker child
Prison awaits
TFA and TROS are as enjoyable as the original trilogy. Sorry you think any of the star wars movies are something bigger than a fun schlock.
Thought terminating cliche
not an argument
By that logic TLJ is enjoyable as well
TLJ tries to be more than a fun schlock.
No, child, they are not.
Yes, child, they are.
I’m sorry you’re so stupid
YOU are not the spy.
You're not capable of being the spy.
I had a spy, but now I don't.
You are NOT. THE. SPY.
>Disney thought this would be the next "I am your father"
Yikes!
Agent Kallus revealed himself like this a couple of years earlier. I thought this was a bad joke.
>Agent Kallus
Who?
A character from Star Wars Rebels.
I unironically think watching this trainwreck lowered my IQ.
I liked this scene and thought it makes sense, adds depth to his character. He was on board with the first order in 7, then saw it was gradually being absorbed for the sith, by the end of 8 he was completely turned.
He was shit talking Kylo to his sith lord in TFA. Watch the movies you praise.
I never watched 7, seethe and cope biatch.
>Fanatically driven high general of a powerful galactic military force who genocided billions of people with a super weapon and presided over bloody military campaigns
>decides to betray everything he stands and has worked his entire career for because Kylo Ren bullied him too hard in a plan that undoubtedly will (and does) get him killed no matter which side wins
Unironically, literally, seriously, no cap, what the frick did israelite israelite Abrams mean by this??
These homies actually made a worse movie than TLJ
tros is like a gift that keeps on giving in terms of sheer nonsensical moronation
> sheev creates a massive fleet of ten billion star destroyers on a planet surrounded by a dangerous nebula
> the star destroyers need to carefully navigate through the nebula to escape by following the trail of the first destroyer
> ...
> but earlier in the movie sheev sent one destroyer out to blow up the WWII snow planet
> so why the frick didn't he just send the whole fleet out following that one earlier? there wasn't any vulnerability that existed then which would have made this dangerous or risky for him
Test
No you're still banned anon
No, I I'm the spy.