In Crank 3, Chev Chelios has to ______ to survive
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In Crank 3, Chev Chelios has to ______ to survive
In Crank 3, Chev Chelios has to ______ to survive
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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Saw the first movie with my Mom and Dad. Had no idea it was not a typical action film. Still mentions it in a disdaining tone as the worst film she ever saw in a theater.
Once I had the epiphany I realised it was the best movie I ever saw, at least it sets itself apart from other movies
He's like a weather forecast for me. Anything with him in it is going to be unbearable npc goyslop action without plot or nuance.
Slight rain with chances of shit.
I bet you thought this was really clever, didn't you?
Snatch was good
Funny, any time I see a post containg some either "NPC", "goyslop", or some combination of the two I immediately know it was written by a bot.
Council gender-questioning kids
In Crank 3 Chev Chelios is poisoned with weaponised HRT, over the course of the movie he becomes more feminine and unstable to logic and reason
Kek I'm amazed this hasn't come up and got him in hot water yet.
pfft, he's parodying the conservatives in that moment too, assuming old white ladies would hate a muslim enough to physically beat him irl. Doubt he'd get in trouble for that, they're still too busy being triggered at Robert Downey jr for Tropic Thunder.
have sex before the age of 32
>Tfw only 7 years to go
I-I'm going to make it, right?
I'm 31 and not a virgin but I'd rather be 25 and a virgin
Count your blessings
Getting dangerously close, lads.
Is this a good time to ask how to have sex? I honestly have no idea.
Put your wiener in her vegana. Thrust until you bust.
Who's this "her" you speak of?
Prostitute if you can’t find a lonely woman or chick fed up with her relationship (there are very many.) Lift weights and find a passion and personality.
How do you even get a prostitute? I don't think that's legal.
I've been wondering this myself; it's been 5 years since I had sex with someone I was physically attracted to.
it's just like the movies anon
You pay for it
And if I want an intense passionate human connection that makes me feel loved and like I belong on this earth?
Talk to women and stop browsing Cinemaphile. This site is nothing but hate. It is indeed a reflection of the shit that gets swept under the rug, but you can re-enter the matrix if you choose to.
>Talk to women
Maybe in the next life then. I literally LITERALLY have never had a conversation with a nonrelated female that lasted over 30 seconds in my life.
Just lift and stop being a pussy. Do they force it. Unless you’re a libtard roastie larping, in which case, have a nice day.
>Talk to women
???
They don't talk to me... How am I supposed to know how to make that happen?
>Talk to women
He said he WANTS to feel loved and loke he belongs on this Earth
Talking to women is what you do when you want to feel like your feelings don't matter to anybody else
Sex is just like any other skill or hobby. You're gonna suck at it first, but eventually once you continue having it, you'll get good at it. Don't be sad if you cum 6 minutes or less into it, most guys do that on their first time, just keep confident and power through it.
Yeah, but like how do you get that far?
Sometime I see a woman, and I think "she's pretty", and that's as far as that goes. I think part of my brain is missing.
Just go up to her and be casual, treat her the same you would as one of your regular friends. She might be in a relationship, but then again, she might not be. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so at least try it.
I literally don't know what any of that means. I also don't know who these "regular friends" are. Last time I had someone I considered a friend was childhood. Now I kind of just have people who are either there or they aren't. If they're there, and they're specifically talking to me, maybe we can have a good time, but there's no actual connection there. I don't "maintain relationships" with these people. I don't think I understand the mechanics of how that works.
Oh, well I don't know how to help you there anon. Sorry.
I get you anon. You have to reach out to people, it's the only way. Either the contacts in your phone, or someone you see on the street that you like for some reason. You have to at least say, "hi" then see if it goes any further than that.
Crank High Voltage is better than Die Hard, Robocop, Terminator, all that boomer shit.
>CHELIOOOOOOOOOOOOS
Get (You)'s on /po/.
Be exposed to radiation
act 1: he puts his head in a microwave oven
act 2: he breaks into a hospital to get inside a CT scan machine
act 3: he breaks into a nuclear power plant
final scene: he rides a nuke as it's falling of a plane like in Dr. Strangelove
somebody get this man a writing contract immediately
kino
Kino
nice
kino
Microwave is not radioactive
Watch French films WITHOUT telling anyone he watches them
frick his girlfriend (Amy Smart)
watch Amy Smart embrace the horse dick
Keep an audience of at least 10,000 during a livestream or the bomb strapped to him explodes.
>not allowed to tell people about the bomb
Has 10 hours to aquire the audience
>people can donate to send in assassins to kill him
Be exorcised by the Pope's exorcist
chev
Yell racial slurs and beat up minorities
Shitpost.
How do you make balding look this cool? Just be Cinemaphile?
You have to have an S-tier upper skull.
Honestly, most dudes can pull it off. Just don’t try to be a macho dickstain, unless the chick is trash.
Just dieselmax. You’ll be fine.
Craft only the finest(and rarest) of Pepes.
GOON
O
O
N
Stay on fire
count down from 7500 without stopping
Spank black women
Live
get (you)s
Name the israelite
literally the only action movie I like is the first Crank movie
second is just too dumb not in a fun way
constantly say racial slurs which lead to very socially awkward and uncomfortable situations and his black best friend has to try to explain to other black people that they don't actually mean anything
>survive
star in Crank 4
Nice one.
Stay aroused.
chev chelios has to fart to survive. the setup is that he eats some deadly poison accidentally which makes it so that if he doesn't fart every 15 minutes he dies
He has to sing.
It’s the only logical ending to such an absurd series: an opera.
frick Joe Biden (literally)
his heart is replaced with an ubermensch BAME annihilator and requires him to do increasingly bigoted thing to survive. He has to say Black person to black people (and has to pass a certain level of blackness, in one scene he'll say it to a black passing person but it turns out to be an Italian and this almost kills him), burn pride flags and punch israelites
he gets shot and has to shoot himself with increasingly powerful guns
He gets vaxxed and requires increasingly stronger dose of booster. Meanwhile he's spreading increasingly powerful COVID to everyone around him and is considered a threat to national security.
Has a tiny nuclear reactor hooked up to his chest to keep his heart running
Has to kill a megalodon with his bare hands
Watch anime