thanks for calling me chief, i get why you would do that.
but what i meant was that the movies called "Clerk" are for really disgusting people who hate themselves. These people aint chiefs.
Good on ya chief, that's a good mentality to have, I always call the gas station dudes who sell me ciggies and swishers chief.
If you get me a fresh pack of swishies from the back I'll upgrade you to boss
I last watched these movies when I was 13 but why does everyone hate Mallrats? This was a fairly fun movie I thought. Perfectly within Smith's wheelhouse. Unlike Dogma or Chasing Amy
Mallrats greatest sin is displaying how much Clerk's security-cam gimmick hid Smith's inadequacies as a director. He's not a good actor director, his cinematography instincts are bad, he relies way too much on viewers goodwill instead of turning out a good product. The one-two punch was Jersey Girl then displaying how much Kevin's writing depends on profanity and shock value. Dialed down to normal, his writing is very weak and choppy.
no one talks about him and the minority that did, doesnt get to call someone newbie.
two walrus threads a week dont make hundreds of kevin smith threads
we want him to be a Michael Moore figure, we want him to suffer for creating something interesting and doing what he did with it
3 months ago
Anonymous
Michael Moore never did anything interesting or cool. The only thing you can thank Moore for is the birth of Mansonposting 20 years after his movie.
Which is what no one did.
3 months ago
Anonymous
>Michael Moore never did anything interesting or cool
Canadian Bacon is an absolute classic
i'll never consume any content from kevin smith again after having to sit through that utter dogshit movie
his movies have always been bad but his podcast used to be good with mosier before he started smoking weed
clerks 3 though is a "naah i'm out, permanently" tier event
I'll keep ya seats nice and toasty and bring a picnic for our kino, what kind of sandwiches do you bois like?
Or are you gonna make ME the sandwich hahaha no, I got pepperjack cheese if that's cool
3 months ago
Anonymous
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
3 months ago
Anonymous
Oh ho ho a fan, I will keep your seat extra warm and I'll make sure the maitre d puts a little extra butter on yours (don't tell the others!)
I know they are his friends, but nobody will ever want to look at these people. Also Kevin Smith humor has not evolved at all since the 90s and nobody likes it anymore
Julie Dwyer spinoff/prequel (hopefully starring the actress who played Trinity from Matrix) when? Also, fun fact: Mooby's isn't a real restaurant. Looked all over Jersey back in 09, found zilch. 🙁
It’s a genuinely depressing experience. Similar to the Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. Whatever spark he once had to compensate for a lack of technical proficiency as a filmmaker has long since been smoked away and now all he can do is tired and depressing rehashes of old jokes. Better to just hang on to the memories in my opinion.
First was okay for the time. Second had some chuckles. Third I turned off after 10 minutes.
First is great if you've ever worked at a gas station/convenience store and fricking hated it
Second one is great if you like nonsensical early 2000s comedy. >LETMEHELPYOUOUTTAYOURCHAIRGRANDMA
This shit is so embarrassing. Imagine being such a failure that all you can do is make increasingly terrible sequels to the single culturally relevant film you ever made, 30 years ago.
The first Clerks was such a perfect depiction of deadbeat northeast suburban life. I can't believe how much Kevin Smith ended up sucking. He was funny on O&A too, even. He basically died when that heart attack hit.
Although when Veronica ended up coming back as a Jersey soccer mom, THAT defined "northeast deadbeat" to me.
Funny how none of the 1 characters were mentioned in 2.
I'll respond because I'm not afraid of the giving (you)s chief, it doesn't take anything from me, but I'm still happy to do so. Come on and join us, chief
“Dante’s a force ghost!”
“I’m a what? No I’m not!”
“Yeah, you are, you're a force ghost, you’re here to force yourself on me, you queer. Were you watching me jerk off? Are you gonna slime me?”
*Sudden jarring tonal shift and they lament the fact that Dante died*
Kevin's off the devil's lettuce for almost like a year now. This will be his first movie not written/directed under the influence in two decades. How shit will it be?
I actually got kicked out of a kids birthday party because he insisted everyone watch clerks on a shitty 20"tv with zero volume. No one was laughing or having fun so I brought up that the shitty movie was lame and we should do something else like play manhunt or shoot airsoft. He told me to get out if i didnt want to be there so i called my parents and jumped on the giant trampoline till they came. Clerks is for fricking freaks.
disgusting movies for disgusting people
So you'll buy tickets, huh chief?
thanks for calling me chief, i get why you would do that.
but what i meant was that the movies called "Clerk" are for really disgusting people who hate themselves. These people aint chiefs.
Good on ya chief, that's a good mentality to have, I always call the gas station dudes who sell me ciggies and swishers chief.
If you get me a fresh pack of swishies from the back I'll upgrade you to boss
I watched it for free on Amazon prime. It was as bad as everyone said and depressing. I want a refund.
Looks like he intentionally injected himself with HIV so he would lose weight
can someone finally buy him some fitting clothes?!
>buy tickets
So you admit you think the ticket buying audience is disgusting.
You're right. But it's it's interesting that you'd so carelessly admit it in your rabid quest to (one day) Pwn a Chud
(today is not that day).
...there was a Clerks 3?
No. There was also no Mallrats.
I last watched these movies when I was 13 but why does everyone hate Mallrats? This was a fairly fun movie I thought. Perfectly within Smith's wheelhouse. Unlike Dogma or Chasing Amy
Mallrats greatest sin is displaying how much Clerk's security-cam gimmick hid Smith's inadequacies as a director. He's not a good actor director, his cinematography instincts are bad, he relies way too much on viewers goodwill instead of turning out a good product. The one-two punch was Jersey Girl then displaying how much Kevin's writing depends on profanity and shock value. Dialed down to normal, his writing is very weak and choppy.
there are movies so bad and insignificant even Cinemaphile wont talk about it
>newbie wasn't here for the hundreds of Kevin Smith threads
no one talks about him and the minority that did, doesnt get to call someone newbie.
two walrus threads a week dont make hundreds of kevin smith threads
Ok newbie
we want him to be a Michael Moore figure, we want him to suffer for creating something interesting and doing what he did with it
Michael Moore never did anything interesting or cool. The only thing you can thank Moore for is the birth of Mansonposting 20 years after his movie.
Which is what no one did.
>Michael Moore never did anything interesting or cool
Canadian Bacon is an absolute classic
i'll never consume any content from kevin smith again after having to sit through that utter dogshit movie
his movies have always been bad but his podcast used to be good with mosier before he started smoking weed
clerks 3 though is a "naah i'm out, permanently" tier event
I'll see you at the Mallrats 2 premier, chief.
not going to happen
I'll keep ya seats nice and toasty and bring a picnic for our kino, what kind of sandwiches do you bois like?
Or are you gonna make ME the sandwich hahaha no, I got pepperjack cheese if that's cool
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Oh ho ho a fan, I will keep your seat extra warm and I'll make sure the maitre d puts a little extra butter on yours (don't tell the others!)
A depressing thought
There were two clerks and Dante is dead
Is his daughter the clerks now?
I know they are his friends, but nobody will ever want to look at these people. Also Kevin Smith humor has not evolved at all since the 90s and nobody likes it anymore
Pretty sure they switched Elias's actor between 2 and 3.
Didn't the 3rd one bomb?
Why, so Randal can cause another person to die?
Taint status?
Pwned
Julie Dwyer spinoff/prequel (hopefully starring the actress who played Trinity from Matrix) when? Also, fun fact: Mooby's isn't a real restaurant. Looked all over Jersey back in 09, found zilch. 🙁
I like the first one, the second one is a guilty pleasure, but I haven't seen the third one. Should I watch it? Is it worth it?
>dies at the end
>Is it worth it?
"Is iT WoRth It?" Psssh.
First was okay for the time. Second had some chuckles. Third I turned off after 10 minutes.
It’s a genuinely depressing experience. Similar to the Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. Whatever spark he once had to compensate for a lack of technical proficiency as a filmmaker has long since been smoked away and now all he can do is tired and depressing rehashes of old jokes. Better to just hang on to the memories in my opinion.
First is great if you've ever worked at a gas station/convenience store and fricking hated it
Second one is great if you like nonsensical early 2000s comedy.
>LETMEHELPYOUOUTTAYOURCHAIRGRANDMA
This shit is so embarrassing. Imagine being such a failure that all you can do is make increasingly terrible sequels to the single culturally relevant film you ever made, 30 years ago.
The first Clerks was such a perfect depiction of deadbeat northeast suburban life. I can't believe how much Kevin Smith ended up sucking. He was funny on O&A too, even. He basically died when that heart attack hit.
Although when Veronica ended up coming back as a Jersey soccer mom, THAT defined "northeast deadbeat" to me.
Funny how none of the 1 characters were mentioned in 2.
>ywn play poker with Ant and Kevin
>chief
..you again.
I'll respond because I'm not afraid of the giving (you)s chief, it doesn't take anything from me, but I'm still happy to do so. Come on and join us, chief
>they made Randall a marvel soijak
its like kevin doesnt know his own characters
>Dante appears as a force ghost
Would you expect anything else from Kevin Smith?
“Dante’s a force ghost!”
“I’m a what? No I’m not!”
“Yeah, you are, you're a force ghost, you’re here to force yourself on me, you queer. Were you watching me jerk off? Are you gonna slime me?”
*Sudden jarring tonal shift and they lament the fact that Dante died*
Would you expect anything else from Kevin Smith?x2
Then the jizz mopper shows up
didnt know there was a third film, just read the plot on wiki
Jesus fricking Christ it sounds absolutely awful
>Dante appears as a force ghost
well...
>Becky's spirit appears to Dante
so yeah probably
Becky wasn't down with the trilogy
I feel like Randal had an involvement with the noodle incident.
Every now and then I'll rewatch Rosario Dawson dance scene on the roof in Clerks 2. The titty bounce is kino.
troony janny?
they all are and they do it for free.
what is the girlfriends bodycount at now, 30 years later?
>she sucked 1000 wieners?
Only if they resurrect Dante.
Kevin's off the devil's lettuce for almost like a year now. This will be his first movie not written/directed under the influence in two decades. How shit will it be?
Who needs the Devil's Lettuce when he has his Wife's Brown?
>How shit will it be?
Exactly.
Kevin kills jay and silent bob in the first 5 minutes, the rest of the film is about empowering minority characters.
I actually got kicked out of a kids birthday party because he insisted everyone watch clerks on a shitty 20"tv with zero volume. No one was laughing or having fun so I brought up that the shitty movie was lame and we should do something else like play manhunt or shoot airsoft. He told me to get out if i didnt want to be there so i called my parents and jumped on the giant trampoline till they came. Clerks is for fricking freaks.
>Clerks 4
>Its them bickering in a retirement home
There was a clerks 3?
There was a Clerks 2?
I didn't watch 3, but yes