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Is this really what its like to work in an office?
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Working in an office is terrible. They make you come in at 7am, you get drug tested, never get any significant raises. ~~*They*~~ really want us to be mindless zogbot slaves
I have an idea! Maybe don’t do drugs and it won’t be a problem, you also sound like you have zero work ethic. People like you deserve to be beaten senseless. Maybe the military would give you some stability
>nooo!!! Responsibility is BAD!!!!!
Grow up you pathetic manchild, just because you have to wake up at a normal time and not do drugs doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means you’re a failure of a human being.
Not my experience. I've never taken a drug test in my life and my current job pays well and is rather comfortable. Maybe I'm just lucky.
My office job for a huge, nationwide insurance company did a drug test upon hiring but they did not test you again afterwards. I worked there over 5 years without being retested and I never heard anyone else say they were retested. I wasn't in some shit tier position like customer support either. There were managers and highly paid senior level employees in critical departments that pretty openly smoked weed. Sales had some cocaniacs.
Company policy said we were subject to random drug tests and punishment up to dismissal if we tested positive. I think they just keep that policy around so if they're looking for a reason to fire you for cause they can test you and hope for a positive result. The very small insurance company I work for now did not test me when hired and nothing in our policies/HR bullshit even mentions drug use.
I've had that as well. I worked private security for a bit and even though we were armed, the only test anyone ever got was at initial hiring. I'm sure they would have tested anyone involved in the use of lethal force, though.
Im 29 and “work” from home. Reality is that i drink throughout the day or else i get the shakes. If i ever had to go into the office i think i would lose my job.
This movie is my nightmare scenario
proof that alcohol and alcoholics are satanic
its gery similar, except nowadays you would be surrounded by shitskin Black folk and women
>proof that alcohol and alcoholics are satanic
Really? Alcohol? The stuff Jesus gave to people?
I was in the same state drinking to kill brain fog and function. I got fired in December of 2019, so I was already in the unemployment system when covid hit. 2 years unemployed and drunk on COVIDbux without having to do shit. I probably would have died working remotely.
It'll be OK, Satan.
It really needs the closing line, "what the Hell is wrong with you people!?"
If it's for a large corporation and it's an entry to mid level position, yes it's very much like that. I've worked in a smaller office for a large corporation and it was like a blend of Office Space and The Office
>Corporate makes everything more complicated than it needs to be
>incompetent middle manager who thinks they're hot shit but is actually the dumbest person in the office
>mandatory meetings that are disrespectful and patronizing to employees at worst, waste of time at best .
>Job is pretty much a dead end job and the actual "work" you're doing is soulless and dull.
Working in an office still seems preferable to wfh
>mfw seeing all these millennials crying about wanting to keep their pandemic wfh job
how much of an anti social prick would you have to be to prefer spending all day at home instead of going out and being around other people? I'd legitimately go insane
You sound like a fricking homosexual. I'd legitimately go insane being around you.
Go suck corpo wiener loser.
You are all low integrity losers with no self discipline who are never going to get anywhere in life. Enjoy staying poor
>that sociopathic tendency guy that everyone despises
YES goyim! Work harder for no extra money, and one day you'll be rich like your master- I mean bosses!
>I'm such a success I come to Cinemaphile to give lectures on the value of office work
So there are actual people who enjoy that meandering small talk. Crazy.
>how much of an anti social prick would you have to be
> I'd legitimately go insane
Ah yes, the 'I can't do it, so no one else should either!' Cool, bro.
Anyway, work from home is amazing for those with discipline. I wake up 45 minutes before work, and instead of packing a lunch or getting gas, or being stuck in traffic, I get to work out. Instead of being stuck in a cubical spending free time pretending to be busy as I wait for responses to messages/emails, I'm learning a 2nd language. Instead of being stuck at a big table day dreaming during a meeting that I know will go no where, I'm editing photos for my photography side gig. I'm living my best life, working 2 jobs and still have the time for self improvement.
It's not for everyone, but damn, is it life changing for the right kind of person. No more wasted time. Everything is optimized without the stupid filler that makes up the usual 9-5 grind.
I've been working from home since March 2020 and have never returned to the office.
>how much of an anti social prick would you have to be to prefer spending all day at home instead of going out and being around other people?
You couldn't be more wrong. I have more time outside of work to hang out with people that I like and have more time to socialise and travel since I have more money due to not spending on commuting. I even talk to more people now while I'm working since you can't use a phone at the office. Because I get more time my health has improved. I'm posting here right now while working whereas I wouldn't be able to before. Other people have more time to spend with their kids. You're most likely some smelly fat ass that no one liked at the office that everyone wanted to avoid, that's why you want everyone else to be forced to work with you.
I would kill you with my bare hands if it meant I never had to waste my time and gas going through traffic every day
It captures a fair bit of what makes office work soul crushing. From my experience there's a lot more pointless and asinine meetings that could've been handled with an email at most.
>pointless and asinine meetings
That's anywhere you work in management. I loathe PowerPoint to this day and I haven't used it in 10 years.
My office manager was super awesome. He didn't give a shit if I was watching netflix as long as I got my work done. He was always asking if I needed anything and I requested a cintiq24HD and a new graphics card for no reason at all and got both.
Based. My old boss let me take naps on the job for months until my fembot coworkers complained (they did not understand the concept that I got all my work done by 11 am and was able to take a long lunch + nap while they had to dedicate 8 straight hours to their work to get the same amount done).
>dedicate 8
>get's triple digit 8s
Our office would often pay for lunches and everyone would order mixed drinks and get smashed for the rest of the day. Every other friday they would bring in beer for everyone at like 4pm too.
oh awesome, so you worked in a low earning environment with junkie losers. How cool!
it was actually EA but whatever. I use to work at a satellite studio before moving to their HQs in redwood. They gave me $50 reimbursement a day to spend on food. They had a starbucks on site which was nice.
Based, I got drunk one time at an office Christmas party and my newer coworker (who was married) took me into the janitors closet and let me creampie her butthole
Imagine being proud of this, you are a degenerate and should spend the rest of your life on a prison ship in the South Pacific.
>NOOO YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH A bawd IT'S WRONG
Jesus, why is this causing so much seethe?
You should’ve been fired for that. You’re a terrible person and I would never trust you around my family or kids
you do realize you destroyed a marriage by being a mentally ill porn addict, right?
This sodomy-related post really riled up the anons.
That’s because adultry and sodomy, like alcohol, is a sin. Sodomites will perish in hell for enternity unless they repent and accept Christ.
But Jesus' blood is wine.
Jesus turned water into wine you moron
>bragging about being a loser degenerate in a dead-end job
you should get a vasectomy so you don’t reproduce more failures into the world
Hot
I see this and think to myself, wow. She's so beautiful and stunning. Then I think to myself wow, there is slim to no chance that she would be worth a damn to have a 2 minute conversation with. Demoralizing.
Theres also no way she can properly wipe her butthole after taking a steaming hot shit in the toilet/floor. Her butthole probably smells so stinky
True
How did you end up like this
It’s probably the same porn addict that destroyed a marriage
>after taking a steaming hot shit in the toilet/floor
>in the floor
huh? What the frick is wrong with you dude?
Floor?
>taking a steaming hot shit in the toilet/floor
>shit in the floor
>floor
WE ARE /CRUSTPOSTING/ NOW BOYS
What the frick?
What can I do to be less like you
First step: don't jack off to women shitting on the floor. Or anywhere, really.
Frick you dude, my wife left me after doing something like this.
What is it with married women in offices?
I'm a solid 5/10 on a good day yet two decently attractive married women in my work have flirted with me.
It's fricking weird.
It's a fun (for them) game they play. It's also cruel.
They’re working a man’s job role so they’re entitled, they think they wear the pants. Female rights was a huge mistake, blame the boomers.
I think you underestimate how miserable 95% of married people are
They all fricking hate their lives and choices and just paper over their hopelessness with all the Facebook posts of their kids with professional photographers. You notice how many outwardly happy, well founded and seemingly well adjusted couples just completely implode seemingly out of nowhere? It didn't come from nothing. Those women were hitting on you because they're bored in a relationship with someone they probably hate but can't bring themselves to change their status quo
You should have anal with them
>where I work, I must also rape
Out of all four responses this is the only one that makes sense.
Thank you anon, I'll go do that tomorrow.
I love anal sex dude (receiving of course) it feels so wholesome to have my wife put on a 10 inch strap on and penetrate all the way to my colon. My prostate goes berserk
How can you just say something so homosexual yet so based...
what job?
it’s worse, now the boss is some power tripping roastie who can sense your unwillingness to give up on your hopes and dreams and dedicate your life to The Company, and will punish you for it. At the same time she’s also waiting to throw you to the wolves (HR) for stepping outside the very narrow overton window of modern corporate culture. So basically like this guy + the b***h from Harry Potter that took over in the fifth book
And the entire office has taken on an effeminate approach to conflict resolution. The men included, they won’t come up to your face and tell you if they have a problem with something. Instead, they will go to HR and throw you to the wolves as you said.
WOMEN SHOULD BE AT HOME MAKING SANDWICHES AND HAVING WHITE CHILDREN.
Thanks Mohammed, very cool!
t. the HR-on-speed-dial roastie in question
No. Too many White people in that movie. I used to watch that all the time. So entertaining.
>wfh from anywhere
>interaction with coworkers limited to Slack messages and a weekly one-to-one with the CEO
>never been happier
I would rather die than go back to the office.
>Get your own cubicle instead of open floor plan with your boss sitting directly behind you.
God I wish.
In my office we had "team cubicles" so 5 or so people would share a large cubicle. We all placed our desks facing towards the opening so no one could sneak in and see what you're doing.
It's not like the managers cared as long as you got your work done.
Yes, and it's so much better than most realistic alternatives.