It deserves an HBO adaptation.

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    idris elba

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >"it's the white-manosaurus, the most destructive Jurassic creature ever"
    >"Hurry up troony man, we gotta stop HIM from disturbing the mostly peaceful raptor lives matter rally"

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I get it, brother.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      but anon all of the villains in the book (dodgson, hammond) are white

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1999-2007 era HBO would've been great. Until the Black person troony era is over though no adaptation or new work will be good

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      HBO was good up until around 2014

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Give me 8-10 episodes TVMA based in 1989 with Brian Cox as John Hammond.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The book is good in it's own way and definitely much darker, but at the same time I feel like it drops the ball when it comes to a few things.
    >the entire Malcolm character is 100x more annoying and is basically a Rick and Morty character
    >raptors set up to be the main threat as soon as they're introduced, and once they all realize the dinosaurs have been breeding and the raptor population jumped from 8 to 40, all the characters do is "wow look at that! :D"

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      sounds exactly like the movie.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The movie actually treated the raptors escaping as a actual threat. Where as no one on the island bats a eye that a animal who they said in the chapter previously "kills for the sake of it" has now become the dominant species on their island.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          literally the first scene in the movie the a raptor killing a guy.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, establishing they are a proper threat the characters should be worried about. The book waves this shit away until the raptors show up and become cartoon villains by throwing heads around.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              You didn't make that clear in your original post. You said the book handles some things wrong, and then proceeded to green text two talking points that were about the movie. Fricking learn english.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >The book is good in it's own way and definitely much darker, but at the same time I feel like it drops the ball when it comes to a few things.
                Is what I said, plus the raptors don't breed in the movies dumbass.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                you are all kinds of confused here.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Yes they are, moron. Grant finds eggs in the forest when he's with the kids.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Gallimimus nest but it's likely that other species can breed as well.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                It was perfectly clear, anon.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >once they all realize the dinosaurs have been breeding and the raptor population jumped from 8 to 40, all the characters do is "wow look at that! :D"

      At that point the dinos are still in captivity and the park is functioning despite the dino-counting software not working right

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It also spends a lot of time on a mystery plot about people discovering what InGen's secret island is really being used for when it's called Jurassic Park and has a dinosaur on the cover.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It also spends a lot of time on a mystery plot about people discovering what InGen's secret island is really being used for when it's called Jurassic Park and has a dinosaur on the cover.

      Malcolm was totally insufferable. When they talked about him in the sequel movies it's like they were describing that Malcolm instead. I'm glad he died shame he was resurrected. But the ending was so bizzare I can believe that none of that happened. Grant punches Gennaro like a cheap action movie star because "he let Jurassic Park happen" and then the island gets blown up and at the end Costa Rican officials imply that because they were guests on a dinosaur island the survivors will never leave Costa Rica or something. That was strange as frick.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I liked the part where the computer starts adjusting for the actual number and everyone shits themselves and the autistic pissed off mini elephant.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    why? it doesn't really add much except like hammond being more of an rich butthole and nedry making more sense

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It has GORE which makes it more MATURE and EPIC. Because childhood thing is now DARK so it's now COOLER.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Literally only because of gore (fair for a book to brutal for movies and tv) and because some characters are different and there are more pulpy, schlocky scenes and a Goosebumps-tier ending. And I'm not hating on the book I think it's a great summer read and I'm happy to own it but a new adaptation has nothing to offer. Maybe if they copied 1:1 the best scenes from the book, which are all the scenes of characters talking about science, technology and philosophy, but it's impossible to do in a visual medium.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No one really picks up on this, because everyone saw the movie and just knew Nedry was the bad guy, but in the book it was actually was supposed to be a mystery who it was. There's no scene with Dodgson where they tell the audience their evil plan at the start.

      In the book, all that happens is that Dodgson says: "We have an agent waiting to infiltrate them at Chocteau."

      The plane picked up two people at Choteau. Ian Malcolm & Dennis Nedry. Since Malcolm spent the whole time acting like an butthole and demoralizing people, you might have drawn the wrong conclusion that he was Dodgson's inside man, but no, turns out it was that IT Guy who didn't have any dialogue lines and just sat around being fat.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Nah, the scene where dodgson scene is in the book before they ever make it to the island. Complete with giving Nedry the can of Barbasol.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I don't know what kind of stroke I had in the middle of writing that but you can parse out my meaning probably

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          feel free to read it yourself. They never refer to him by name, only as "the man".

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Dang, that's funny. Yeah you're right my brain just filled it in for me. Thanks for taking the time and effort.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            But in like the next chapter they pick him up so it's no longer a mystery.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              him and Malcolm. And Alan Grant & Ellie Sattler, but they don't really count as suspects.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                They were picked up from Dallas in the first Malcolm chapter.
                "With a whine, the rotors began to swing in circles overhead, casting shadows on the
                runway of San José airport. Grant listened to the crackle in his earphones as the pilot
                talked to the tower. They had picked up another passenger in San José, a man named Dennis Nedry, who
                had flown In to meet them. He was fat and sloppy, eating a candy bar, and there was
                sticky chocolate on his fingers, and flecks of aluminum foil on his shirt."

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                The way Crichton shits on Nedry for being a fat slob is very based.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just take season 1 of WestWorld and replace all the robots with dinosaurs.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >beats up a velociraptor
    >"oh and Gennaro died of dysentery btw"
    Bravo, Crichton.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The HBO that would have done a good job doesn't exist anymore, that ended when Warner bought them.

    The current HBO would Westworld it. It would be more about black women working for Hammond, with 5 seconds of dinosaur footage.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I heard it already has an adaptation.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The question is will they ignore feathergays and have their dinosaurs innaccurate cause that was the entire fricking point that they were suppose to look like how an average person thinks a dinosaur looks like? Cause they are just as obnoxious as awesomebros. Just look at how much of a AAlewis high they were getting on with Prehistoric Planet

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No, Wu argued that they should make dinosaurs slower to match people's expectations about them but Hammond wanted full authenticity. The book and the movies come from the times when the link between some dinosaurs and birds was acknowledged, even if not yet widely known to the public, but it didn't go as far as today.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The recent Apple series Prehistoric Planet showed feathered dinosaurs. It's a big budget show, good CG and narrated by Attenborough, loads of people are going to watch this over the years. Feathered dinos will soon going to be part of the average person's perception.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They're turning the dinosaurs gay?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Not directly. First they release chemicals in the water that turn the frogs gay. Then they use said frog DNA to fill in the genetic sequence in creating the dinosaurs. That tainted DNA subsequently turns the dinosaurs gay.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    dinosaurs are peak manchild

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You should see feathergays vs awesomebros, it's hilarious how much autism is there

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I would really only be interested in that to see the lawyer turned back into an interesting character. Would you keep Lex the same as she is in the books cause she's insufferable, which could be claimed was the point, in which case good job?

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    HBO makes nothing but Woke BLM LGBT Anti-White Propaganda.

    They would somehow ruin Jurassic Park worse than Jurassic World.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >"it's the white-manosaurus, the most destructive Jurassic creature ever"
      >"Hurry up troony man, we gotta stop HIM from disturbing the mostly peaceful raptor lives matter rally"

      This.
      HBO would make every badguy white and every goodguy black. There would be constant references to BLM and MAGA and etc.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They have never done this

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Of course, we're just imagining things, of course.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I thought Watchmen was actually pretty Kino. LC was good for an episode and then nosedived.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Black person lover

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    just when you thought it was only possible for them to ruin books by movie adaptations...

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >A book that's NOT ACTUALLY BY a more successful author but this guy instead

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I should write my own book and just call it "Michael Chrichton" lmao.

        gotta think of a plot though...perhaps something about unethical cloning of authors

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >I bought a book the other day, haven't started it yet. It's called uh.. Michael Crichton, written by some Korean guy named Jurassic Park.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        man, Genaro was a great character in the JP book, Spielberg did him dirty in the movie

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It was just a way to trim the screenplay down. Book Gennaro has an arc but doing this allowed them to cut an entire character and give his later heroics to Ellie for a cheap 90's girlpower hit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            tfw no scene with alan grant lambasting the lawyer for negligence

            but letting audiences see that holding the investors responsible for their underlings is too dangerous of a concept if you know what I mean

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              It's a shame there was no valid target for this kind of takedown in the movie. Movie Hammond is too much of a grandfatherly philanthropist to get one of these without it seeming mean-spirited, Gennaro gets bitten in half, and Nedry can't be identified as the rat by any of the main characters or the story won't work.

              What we really missed out on - almost certainly due to budget and special effects limitations - was swimming T. rex and pterodactyl kino.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >pterodactyl kino.
                Wasn't that put in the 3rd movie?

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, and a lot of the T. rex water action was there with the Spinosaurus. 3 was to a great extent just putting to film the cool shit that didn't make it from the books into the first two films.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I gave my film teacher a stroke when I called this Jurassic Park 2 once. He asked us to name a movie we saw recently during class introduction and I said "Jurassic Park 2 was on TV so I caught that" and he did a 15 minute rant how stupid young people are and how low IQ they are seeing movies just as numbers and how Marvel has ruined everything.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *