Pythagoras wants to save the library of Alexandria.
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick.
That's not a glowig endorsement.
Oh, I know it isn't necessarily. But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces. It's just that the underlying plot is moronic.
If I were like 14 years old it would be my favorite movie of all time, lol.
>Oh, I know it isn't necessarily. But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces. It's just that the underlying plot is moronic.
You type like a midwit redditor
>But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces
Bullshit. It's barebone adventure, mostly it's random chases. Setpieces are abysmal, most of them are generic city locations in New York and some arabic shithole and only Greece sea underwater wreck and Archimedes tomb are worth a damn.
Worst setpieces and worst locations out of all Indy films.
Other anons are butthurt but I get what you're saying. I'm not above dumb but nice looking action movies. Not really wanting to see this but I understand if people have a good time based on that.
No that didn't happen in the film. I saw it yesterday (U.K). I could definitely tell that the ending we saw was tacked on though but it's a lot better.
Ok so they changed ending, no Indy erasure. At least that's good. Spoilers please. How do they defeat main villain, assumuing it's Mads playing Toth/Von Braun kind of guy? What's Antonio Banderas doing there? Is time travel in or no? No young and old Indy meeting in 1939 to stop Hitler's plans? Any alternative 3rd Reich visions, assuming it's time travel tthing? Any sci-fi style german technology like Die Glocke or other weird vehicles from leaks?
One trailer shows something like Millenium Falcon wienerpit view on I don't know, storm/time/continum/reality wrap? Is this in the movie or they completelty gave up on rumored time wraps between 1969 and 1939?
Nazi Mads (kind of inspired by Von Braun, claims to have had a part in designing the V1 rockets) goes into the "time fissure" but hasn't accounted for "continental drift" which Indy tries to warn him about but it's too late. They go through and end up in Roman times and end up crashing. The Romans think it's a dragon and begin to fire at it. The plane ends up crashing but Indy escapes on a parachute with Fleabag and Nazi mads dies. Archimedes picks up the watch from Nazi mads and then finds and meets Indy and he is able to speak the language of course.
Indy says he wants to stay because he realises Archimedes made the device so that somebody could come back and help from the future. Now this is where I was thinking so this is where he is going to stay and end up dying because he has a bullet wound. Then Fleabag says something and punches him and then it cuts to him being back in his apartment. We don't see how they got back but they obviously managed to get back to the future. Indiana then reunites with Marion which I don't believe was originally intended. Definitely a reshoot.
>Then Fleabag says something and punches him and then it cuts to him being back in his apartment.
so are you saying that the whole movie may be, as well, Indy's dream? other anon says that 1st shot of indy in 1969 is him napping in apartment
Indy gets woken up by his neighbours playing loud music to celebrate "Moon day". The events of the film definitely happened because otherwise Fleabag wouldn't have brought Marion back to see him.
>hasn't accounted for "continental drift" which Indy tries to warn him about but it's too late
What's the problem there? Theres no big change between currect position and ancient Greeks times. Continental drift matters if it's like 200 000 years, not 2000. Something doesn't add there.
No idea. Apparently if it was just a tiny bit off course it would affect the time they end up in or something.
10 months ago
Anonymous
So there is no time machine itself but rather they find 'time wormholes' in sky and use standard plane to fly through? Like one of conspiracy sci-fi theories about bermuda triangle? And if plane crashed in ancient Greece, how did they go back to 1960s? Not shown?
10 months ago
Anonymous
Basically. The "Dial of Destiny" merely calculates where the wormholes will appear for brief moments.
10 months ago
Anonymous
How the hell did Archimedes build such a device?
10 months ago
Anonymous
maybe... he used a watch stolen from nazi guy anon said here?
Nazi Mads (kind of inspired by Von Braun, claims to have had a part in designing the V1 rockets) goes into the "time fissure" but hasn't accounted for "continental drift" which Indy tries to warn him about but it's too late. They go through and end up in Roman times and end up crashing. The Romans think it's a dragon and begin to fire at it. The plane ends up crashing but Indy escapes on a parachute with Fleabag and Nazi mads dies. Archimedes picks up the watch from Nazi mads and then finds and meets Indy and he is able to speak the language of course.
Indy says he wants to stay because he realises Archimedes made the device so that somebody could come back and help from the future. Now this is where I was thinking so this is where he is going to stay and end up dying because he has a bullet wound. Then Fleabag says something and punches him and then it cuts to him being back in his apartment. We don't see how they got back but they obviously managed to get back to the future. Indiana then reunites with Marion which I don't believe was originally intended. Definitely a reshoot.
>Archimedes picks up the watch from Nazi mads and then finds and meets Indy
so now he has a working mechanism and can reverse engineer it and build own dial but then it creates grandpa paradox because in order to build dial he needs a watch and to get this watch someone has to find dial and get back in time.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Now I understand when OP says that Indy 5 is a "jj" movie
10 months ago
Anonymous
Don't question it
Also don't question it when he says, word for word >"I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain, but you gotta trust me on this."
Oh thank frick that ended up being fake, even KK wouldn’t be that stupid to have actually come up with something that would’ve generated massive controversy and backlash.
There are also a few lines in the trailer that weren't in the film. Notably the line about "Hitler made mistakes and with this I will correct them all.". I wonder if they decided to change the script because it seems Nazi Mads actually intends to kill Hitler or something.
Whole plot is on Wikipedia already:
In 1944, during the Allied liberation of Europe in World War II, Indiana Jones and his colleague Basil Shaw, a fellow archaeologist from Oxford, are captured by Nazis while attempting to retrieve the Lance of Longinus. Meanwhile, astrophysicist Jürgen Voller informs his superiors that he has found Archimedes's Dial, which was invented by the Syracusan mathematician Archimedes and is capable of locating fissures in time. Jones escapes and boards a train full of looted antiquities, where he rescues Shaw. After determining the spear is a fake and acquiring the Dial, he and Shaw escape the train before it derails after passing over a bridge destroyed by Allied bombers.
In August 1969, Jones is separated from his wife Marion Ravenwood following the death of their son Mutt during the Vietnam War and is being pushed into retirement at Hunter College. He is approached at a bar by Helena "Wombat" Shaw, Basil's daughter and Jones's godchild who is herself an archeology student and treasure hunter. Jones informs her that the Dial was split into three pieces and that her now-deceased father was driven to near-insanity while trying to unlock its secrets. They retrieve the first piece of the Dial from his university's storeroom. They are attacked by henchmen sent by Voller, who now works for NASA under a new identity and is assisted by a CIA group led by agent Mason. Knowing Voller's men are after her, Helena escapes with the Dial, revealing her true intention to sell valuable treasures for money. Jones flees into a parade celebrating the Apollo 11 astronauts before escaping through the New York City Subway and seeking aid from his old friend Sallah, now an immigrant cab driver.
Jones travels to Tangier and prevents Helena from selling the first part of the Dial at an auction. Voller and his men arrive, forcing Jones, Helena and her sidekick Teddy Kumar to flee using an auto-rickshaw. Voller takes the first part of the Dial and is captured by Mason, but he and his men kill her and steal her helicopter after she informs him the government is disavowing him. Jones, Helena, and Teddy follow Voller to Greece, where they enlist the aid of Jones's friend Renaldo, a deep-sea diver, to retrieve the next part of the Dial from the Aegean Sea. Though they obtain the piece, Voller kills Renaldo and follows Jones's group to Sicily, where they find the final piece at Archimedes' grave. Voller captures Jones, reassembles the Dial, and reveals he plans to time travel back to 1939 and kill Adolf Hitler, in the hopes that a better leader will arise and lead Germany to victory in the war. Helena manages to sneak aboard Voller's plane before it takes off, while Teddy pursues them in another plane.
However, as Voller failed to take continental drift into consideration, the fissure in time instead leads them to 212 BC during the Siege of Syracuse. Jones and Helena parachute from the plane as it is shot down by projectiles fired by the warring sides from below, killing Voller and his men. Gravely injured, Jones begs Helena to leave him behind in the past, allowing him to become a part of ancient history, but Helena refuses, fearing the possibility of a catastrophic time paradox. After the duo have a conversation with Archimedes, who emerged to investigate the crash with an assistant, Helena knocks Jones out and brings him back to 1969 aboard Teddy's plane.
Jones awakens in his apartment, reuniting with Helena, Teddy, Sallah, and his grandchildren, as well as Marion, who reconciles with Jones. As they leave, Jones and Marion reminisce about their conversation on the boat during the events of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
>However, as Voller failed to take continental drift into consideration, the fissure in time instead leads them to 212 BC during the Siege of Syracus >2.5 cm per year >5 meters over the course of 2000 years >implying germany is 5 meters away from sicily
man, what a fool for not taking that into account
I didn't want them to kill indy but bringing him back to 1969 also sucked. I really hoped they let him stay in ancient Greece to witness history first hand. IMO this would be the best possible ending for Indiana Jones. Not killing him, but letting him face his whole academic life with actual past he was teching about.
pretty muc. meanwhile this from actual indy fan who got free tickets as IT job perks. my biggest gripe os how generic it feels.opening sequence is good, it feels like something we would see inbetween events of temple of doom and last crusade but then theres completely random shit for more than one hour. for me the movie starts when they get to greece and dive to research ancient shipwreck. everything before than feels overly action packed but oddly boring. tuktuk chase is probably the worst sequence of all. they made it look like exciting chase but when you know tuk tuk speeds are not that great so it comes off comical.
1st 20 minutes great
then one hour of shit
then one hour good
surprising ending but i didnt like it and honestly they shouldve left indy in greece and let him witness history. that would be compelling end for his journey
the girl annoying as frick, starts good but then after 20 min you want to tape her mouth shut and tie her up and lock in car trunk and throw this car off cliff. preferably with kid assisting her demise
antonio banderas completely wasted, mads mikkelsen has moments but rushed ending feels so awkward
[...]
absolutely no, i got free tickets as perks in my job so having option to watch capeshit of indys agony i selected agony. dont pay for this, dont feed disney or they will make more shitty indy films with deaged ford
[...]
its half good half shit, but overall rather shit and it wouldnt hurt if they never made it. not a big loss
Well what surprised me the most was the leaks were absolutely correct. You don't see Mads die or anything and whoosh back to the apartment where everything is great. I would of preferred Indy dying. I'll probably just go see Op instead.
Just got out of the theater, glad to see a post is up on this site. Turns out all the gloom and doom was wrong, this might actually be my favorite movie out of all of the Indiana Jones films (I have to see it again to be sure, but I have tickets again for tomorrow)...Phoebe Waller-Bridge was absolutely dazzling and stole the show for me, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She's equal parts Leia and Lara Croft. Harrison was good but he takes a back seat after the first 20m, this is really the Helena show.
I can't recommend it enough, I wasnt sure but I'm actually curious if this is the summer blockbuster that we've all been waiting for.
Synopsis op?
Pythagoras wants to save the library of Alexandria.
Oh, I know it isn't necessarily. But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces. It's just that the underlying plot is moronic.
If I were like 14 years old it would be my favorite movie of all time, lol.
have a nice day shill
>Oh, I know it isn't necessarily. But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces. It's just that the underlying plot is moronic.
You type like a midwit redditor
>top tier action adventure
>amazing amount of great set pieces
go back and then dilate and then kys
>But it's basically top tier action adventure, with an amazing amount of great set pieces
Bullshit. It's barebone adventure, mostly it's random chases. Setpieces are abysmal, most of them are generic city locations in New York and some arabic shithole and only Greece sea underwater wreck and Archimedes tomb are worth a damn.
Worst setpieces and worst locations out of all Indy films.
Other anons are butthurt but I get what you're saying. I'm not above dumb but nice looking action movies. Not really wanting to see this but I understand if people have a good time based on that.
You sound like a shill too. Who wants to see an 80 year old man and ugly middle-aged woman?
The movie isn’t nice looking at all, it looks horrible. Horrible CGI, hideous blue digital sheen, shitty cinematography editing and directing, etc.
Nice bait
Mike stop posting on Cinemaphile jfc
Does it still have the moronic 2 indianas?
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick.
That's not a glowig endorsement.
That's the worst possible way to recommend a movie. JJ hasn't made anything decent since Super 8.
>It's actually pretty good, just stupid as hell
This is your brain on capeshit and TikTok
Aaaaaah
>least enthusiastic shill of all time
>It's actually pretty good
oh wow thanks just bought 50 tickets!
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick.
So worse than we thought.
so was the leak about Indy being erased from history and Helena replacing him in all of his iconic moments real or not?
No that didn't happen in the film. I saw it yesterday (U.K). I could definitely tell that the ending we saw was tacked on though but it's a lot better.
Ok so they changed ending, no Indy erasure. At least that's good. Spoilers please. How do they defeat main villain, assumuing it's Mads playing Toth/Von Braun kind of guy? What's Antonio Banderas doing there? Is time travel in or no? No young and old Indy meeting in 1939 to stop Hitler's plans? Any alternative 3rd Reich visions, assuming it's time travel tthing? Any sci-fi style german technology like Die Glocke or other weird vehicles from leaks?
One trailer shows something like Millenium Falcon wienerpit view on I don't know, storm/time/continum/reality wrap? Is this in the movie or they completelty gave up on rumored time wraps between 1969 and 1939?
Nazi Mads (kind of inspired by Von Braun, claims to have had a part in designing the V1 rockets) goes into the "time fissure" but hasn't accounted for "continental drift" which Indy tries to warn him about but it's too late. They go through and end up in Roman times and end up crashing. The Romans think it's a dragon and begin to fire at it. The plane ends up crashing but Indy escapes on a parachute with Fleabag and Nazi mads dies. Archimedes picks up the watch from Nazi mads and then finds and meets Indy and he is able to speak the language of course.
Indy says he wants to stay because he realises Archimedes made the device so that somebody could come back and help from the future. Now this is where I was thinking so this is where he is going to stay and end up dying because he has a bullet wound. Then Fleabag says something and punches him and then it cuts to him being back in his apartment. We don't see how they got back but they obviously managed to get back to the future. Indiana then reunites with Marion which I don't believe was originally intended. Definitely a reshoot.
>Then Fleabag says something and punches him and then it cuts to him being back in his apartment.
so are you saying that the whole movie may be, as well, Indy's dream? other anon says that 1st shot of indy in 1969 is him napping in apartment
Indy gets woken up by his neighbours playing loud music to celebrate "Moon day". The events of the film definitely happened because otherwise Fleabag wouldn't have brought Marion back to see him.
they didn't have dragons in ancient rome!
>hasn't accounted for "continental drift" which Indy tries to warn him about but it's too late
What's the problem there? Theres no big change between currect position and ancient Greeks times. Continental drift matters if it's like 200 000 years, not 2000. Something doesn't add there.
No idea. Apparently if it was just a tiny bit off course it would affect the time they end up in or something.
So there is no time machine itself but rather they find 'time wormholes' in sky and use standard plane to fly through? Like one of conspiracy sci-fi theories about bermuda triangle? And if plane crashed in ancient Greece, how did they go back to 1960s? Not shown?
Basically. The "Dial of Destiny" merely calculates where the wormholes will appear for brief moments.
How the hell did Archimedes build such a device?
maybe... he used a watch stolen from nazi guy anon said here?
>Archimedes picks up the watch from Nazi mads and then finds and meets Indy
so now he has a working mechanism and can reverse engineer it and build own dial but then it creates grandpa paradox because in order to build dial he needs a watch and to get this watch someone has to find dial and get back in time.
Now I understand when OP says that Indy 5 is a "jj" movie
Don't question it
Also don't question it when he says, word for word
>"I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain, but you gotta trust me on this."
Oh thank frick that ended up being fake, even KK wouldn’t be that stupid to have actually come up with something that would’ve generated massive controversy and backlash.
She was definitely going to have Indy die and pass the hat to Fleabag or something but they changed it. Disney knew it would have tanked otherwise.
It also would’ve heavily contradicted to his actual death date that was established(he passes away during the late 20th century or something)
Not fake, but it is a reshoot scene.
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick
The Kiss of Death
It's probably not nearly as bad as people are making it out to be, but I don't care because I want to see Lucasfilm fail.
Disney isn't sending their best.
>It's actually pretty good
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick.
I hope the original ending of Indy dying from feablag leaks
>JJ Abrams
>good
I'm not a science gay but I'd like to know how bad the plot is with that whole time travel thing
There are also a few lines in the trailer that weren't in the film. Notably the line about "Hitler made mistakes and with this I will correct them all.". I wonder if they decided to change the script because it seems Nazi Mads actually intends to kill Hitler or something.
Whole plot is on Wikipedia already:
In 1944, during the Allied liberation of Europe in World War II, Indiana Jones and his colleague Basil Shaw, a fellow archaeologist from Oxford, are captured by Nazis while attempting to retrieve the Lance of Longinus. Meanwhile, astrophysicist Jürgen Voller informs his superiors that he has found Archimedes's Dial, which was invented by the Syracusan mathematician Archimedes and is capable of locating fissures in time. Jones escapes and boards a train full of looted antiquities, where he rescues Shaw. After determining the spear is a fake and acquiring the Dial, he and Shaw escape the train before it derails after passing over a bridge destroyed by Allied bombers.
In August 1969, Jones is separated from his wife Marion Ravenwood following the death of their son Mutt during the Vietnam War and is being pushed into retirement at Hunter College. He is approached at a bar by Helena "Wombat" Shaw, Basil's daughter and Jones's godchild who is herself an archeology student and treasure hunter. Jones informs her that the Dial was split into three pieces and that her now-deceased father was driven to near-insanity while trying to unlock its secrets. They retrieve the first piece of the Dial from his university's storeroom. They are attacked by henchmen sent by Voller, who now works for NASA under a new identity and is assisted by a CIA group led by agent Mason. Knowing Voller's men are after her, Helena escapes with the Dial, revealing her true intention to sell valuable treasures for money. Jones flees into a parade celebrating the Apollo 11 astronauts before escaping through the New York City Subway and seeking aid from his old friend Sallah, now an immigrant cab driver.
Jones travels to Tangier and prevents Helena from selling the first part of the Dial at an auction. Voller and his men arrive, forcing Jones, Helena and her sidekick Teddy Kumar to flee using an auto-rickshaw. Voller takes the first part of the Dial and is captured by Mason, but he and his men kill her and steal her helicopter after she informs him the government is disavowing him. Jones, Helena, and Teddy follow Voller to Greece, where they enlist the aid of Jones's friend Renaldo, a deep-sea diver, to retrieve the next part of the Dial from the Aegean Sea. Though they obtain the piece, Voller kills Renaldo and follows Jones's group to Sicily, where they find the final piece at Archimedes' grave. Voller captures Jones, reassembles the Dial, and reveals he plans to time travel back to 1939 and kill Adolf Hitler, in the hopes that a better leader will arise and lead Germany to victory in the war. Helena manages to sneak aboard Voller's plane before it takes off, while Teddy pursues them in another plane.
However, as Voller failed to take continental drift into consideration, the fissure in time instead leads them to 212 BC during the Siege of Syracuse. Jones and Helena parachute from the plane as it is shot down by projectiles fired by the warring sides from below, killing Voller and his men. Gravely injured, Jones begs Helena to leave him behind in the past, allowing him to become a part of ancient history, but Helena refuses, fearing the possibility of a catastrophic time paradox. After the duo have a conversation with Archimedes, who emerged to investigate the crash with an assistant, Helena knocks Jones out and brings him back to 1969 aboard Teddy's plane.
Jones awakens in his apartment, reuniting with Helena, Teddy, Sallah, and his grandchildren, as well as Marion, who reconciles with Jones. As they leave, Jones and Marion reminisce about their conversation on the boat during the events of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
>However, as Voller failed to take continental drift into consideration, the fissure in time instead leads them to 212 BC during the Siege of Syracus
>2.5 cm per year
>5 meters over the course of 2000 years
>implying germany is 5 meters away from sicily
man, what a fool for not taking that into account
>HIT 'EM with the mystery box
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick
another reason to avoid
No "fun" attempt? Why? I kinda got used to the "it's actually fun, non woke in any way except tiny X but still fun"
Jane Bourne
Jane Bond
Mad Maxine
The Terminateress
Indiana Jane
when it's about entertainment above all we will all know
Sounds dreadful
From the fact they were so willing to kill Indy in the films original endings should make this piece of shit box office kryptonite.
I didn't want them to kill indy but bringing him back to 1969 also sucked. I really hoped they let him stay in ancient Greece to witness history first hand. IMO this would be the best possible ending for Indiana Jones. Not killing him, but letting him face his whole academic life with actual past he was teching about.
This is how you know its bad. They literally have a gun to this guys head as he is typing this.
pretty muc. meanwhile this from actual indy fan who got free tickets as IT job perks. my biggest gripe os how generic it feels.opening sequence is good, it feels like something we would see inbetween events of temple of doom and last crusade but then theres completely random shit for more than one hour. for me the movie starts when they get to greece and dive to research ancient shipwreck. everything before than feels overly action packed but oddly boring. tuktuk chase is probably the worst sequence of all. they made it look like exciting chase but when you know tuk tuk speeds are not that great so it comes off comical.
1st 20 minutes great
then one hour of shit
then one hour good
surprising ending but i didnt like it and honestly they shouldve left indy in greece and let him witness history. that would be compelling end for his journey
the girl annoying as frick, starts good but then after 20 min you want to tape her mouth shut and tie her up and lock in car trunk and throw this car off cliff. preferably with kid assisting her demise
antonio banderas completely wasted, mads mikkelsen has moments but rushed ending feels so awkward
absolutely no, i got free tickets as perks in my job so having option to watch capeshit of indys agony i selected agony. dont pay for this, dont feed disney or they will make more shitty indy films with deaged ford
its half good half shit, but overall rather shit and it wouldnt hurt if they never made it. not a big loss
Well what surprised me the most was the leaks were absolutely correct. You don't see Mads die or anything and whoosh back to the apartment where everything is great. I would of preferred Indy dying. I'll probably just go see Op instead.
I bet you wish you were currently attempting to explain why Russia is justified in invading Ukraine on /misc/ instead.
they should've called it grandpa jones and the shitty diaper but this shilling is really low quality
Just got out of the theater, glad to see a post is up on this site. Turns out all the gloom and doom was wrong, this might actually be my favorite movie out of all of the Indiana Jones films (I have to see it again to be sure, but I have tickets again for tomorrow)...Phoebe Waller-Bridge was absolutely dazzling and stole the show for me, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She's equal parts Leia and Lara Croft. Harrison was good but he takes a back seat after the first 20m, this is really the Helena show.
I can't recommend it enough, I wasnt sure but I'm actually curious if this is the summer blockbuster that we've all been waiting for.
Kathleen is that you?
I just want to hire a feminine male prostitute to dress up like Sailor Moon and let me frick his brains out while he moans out quotes from the show.
>It's basically a JJ Abrams flick.
Sounds awful
It needs fricking seeds