Half in the Bag: The Exorcist: Believer
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Half in the Bag: The Exorcist: Believer
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
>hurr RLM are shills that don't shit on mainstream movies anymore
apologize
>mainstream
This is low hanging fruit, the lowest hanging fruit of the month, you can't NOT shit on it.
>morons: "RLM should review mainstream movies"
>RLM: reviews mainstream movie
>morons: "Noooooo not like that"
I am so FRICKING PISSED OFF at you right now
After several years of not shitting on mainstream movies they finally shit on one.
Incoming
>it’s not bad because it’s woke… it’s le passive progressive or something, PLEASE Hollywood DON’T THINK WE ARE CHUDS
wrong
mike literally complained that the exorcism wasn't centered around a black boy.
they're incapable of calling out "woke" pandering without a thousand reddit disclaimers that they're AAAKKKSHHUUALLY more progressive than the studios.
You couldnt be more wrong.
>It's not bad because it's woke
>literally calls it "The Wokexercist"
>literally says the exorcised kid should have been black because he’s like more woke than those old white men making the movie
jay simping for last jedi again was also pretty pathetic
theres a five minute rant about how woke casting is so calculated and ruining film
Just because the woke casting is done by old white men that aren’t REALLY woke like Mike and Jay who would hire black actors to play the possessed kid
MY FRIENDS ARE BACK MY FRIENDS ARE BACK
Jay will never beat the troony allegations looking like that while holding a glass of red wine
ITS UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
>seething baldie
>had a dream where i was invited to review a movie with mike and he laughed at all of my jokes and everyone thought i was really cool
Now get up and make it a reality.
I’ll bee your friend anon
You were basically Macaulay Culkin.
Do all the world religions really team up to kill pazuzu in the end?
lol
lmao
Mike is holding on to some of his Catholicism from his youth which is nice to see
Mike's weird, he still seems to have a chip on his shoulder that his parents dragged him to church on Sundays until he was 14. Like dude, what the frick, what are you even mad about when you're in your 40s?
they are so fricking old
yeah it's creepy
Yeah I'm surprised they never stopped aging like everyone else does.
they didn't have to stop aging they had to stop making this garbage
I get chills when I see anyone over 29 fr fr
these boomers need to start using anime avatars
>12 minutes
You've been slacking recently.
I don't have any friends
I look like this. It's fricking over for me then.
Just don't drink constantly. You can have a couple now and then but don't live on beer and fried chicken like mike does.
Is Mike related to Rick beato?
It's been theorized that they are half brothers. Rick said once something about his half brother, who is a youtuber, giving him advice on making a youtube channel.
Which metal front man is this?
It’s rick beato
Assuming he's not just holding his fingers moronicly, it looks like he's making the shape of a D chord, just two frets up so it becomes E, but the lowest string note is one fret back, making it a minor. So he's holding an interesting sounding E minor chord, not one you see often in rock which is usually dominated by open and power chords.
>Assuming he's not just holding his fingers moronicly, it looks like he's making the shape of a D chord
that's assuming he's playing in standard tuning like a complete pleb
Pretty sure he’s doing a barred Gm.
why is Cinemaphile so tsundere about them
90% of the board hates them and the ten percent of autists that love them seethe and try to pretend it’s still 2013
those numbers are 100% the opposite
Wrong. This isn’t reddit. These eceleb homosexuals are annoying.
Redditors are the ones here who hate them.
i bet you can find a reddit forum for anything, so whatever the frick you think your point is doesn't work moron
ever since you crossposters started coming here because you heard Cinemaphile was cool and hated everything, the site has gone no where but down hill
If you hate it here so much, head over to the reddit for rlm, I’m sure they’re less cynical about your parasocial internet friends
Go back
This
>muh boogeyman
Go back then since you know so much about it moronic fricking piece of shit Black person homosexual lLMAAAO
Oldgays enjoy the threads, whether they still enjoy the drunk morons anymore or not. newbies see thing they don't recognize and whine at it.
>Mike liked it because of the added diversity
Of fricking course.
Mike is becoming those old woke homosexuals.
Do you think he watches Critical Drinker and Nerdrotic?
Mike is a total "that guy" of course he does.
>No Wesley
Lads, we're going home.
Wheaton does talk shows and shit for them, I'm pretty sure he had a part in it somewhere
You don't read the RLM descriptions enough if you think that anything in them can be taken remotely seriously.
>dude it was ironic… hahaha bad on purpose lmao
I guess sucking off Dennis Quaids son didn't lead to the VA jobs Mike hoped it would.
Why would it lead to VA jobs? Jack isn't a voice actor.
He's the voice of Superman.
moron
>didn't lead to the VA jobs Mike hoped it would.
lol this might explain why it feels like they could be righting the ship. They've been blatant shills for so long and I guess it's not paying off like Mike hoped.
They must realize they could pitch BOTW to Netflix, get the clout for rotating celebrity guests, and in turn get Netflix to list the B movies they watch to give actual exposure to those movies since many viewers may follow up on them after the episodes despite how they're reviewed which nets more views for Netflix, and they would be an easy sell because their production cost is so cheap it can be run out of a warehouse in Milwaukee and use Rich Evans' slave labor for set pieces. They should sell out in their old age
Can any doctors or med students say if those Exorcist 3 bone cutters are really used in hospitals?
pls answer
QUICK POST THE TIME STAMP OF WHEN MIKE WHINE ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE
16:40
>THEY RUINED IT! THEY MENTIONED THE PATRIARCHY
I didn't know Jay was a chud
>Both the priests that were in the room died
>fricking patriarchy didnt allow me to participate!
Hollywood writers are so overpaid.
Also she was fricking breaking down OUTSIDE the room because she coudn't handle it anymore, did these morons think we coudn't remember or something?
Jay just wants a good movie.
Unironically mentioning “the patriarchy” in a movie makes you instantly lose credibility.
And to make it worse, it is used to insult the two priests who died saving her daughter.
That's perfectly consistent with the patriarchy which victimizes men just as it victimizes women and exploits them as disposable cannon fodder to sustain the patriarchy.
>That's perfectly consistent with the patriarchy which victimizes men just as it victimizes women and exploits them as disposable cannon fodder to sustain the patriarchy.
Jay fricking despises women after being rejected by his oneitis.
>Mike goes on weird tangent about racist people again while trying to sound like a cynical centrist
based RLM making Cinemaphiletards seethe yet again
You forgot the pic
>recommend the trash Halloween reboot (directed by the same director) and say more horror franchises should follow the formula
>WHAT? why this another horror reboot by the same director is terrible?
bauman is a fricking moron.
does it have THE stomp? yeah didnt think so.
This. They always cry when they get what they wanted. Jay loved how the Halloween movies got subverted because he hates those sequels. But now his precious Exorcist franchise got the same treatment and it’s le bad.
>Jay loved how the Halloween movies got subverted because he hates those sequels. But now his precious Exorcist franchise got the same treatment and it’s le bad.
But he complained that it doesn't do that and is just redoing the same shit the Exorcist did, only dumber.
Kinda like how they shit on movies that are "bad on purpose", but every movie they've made has been bad on purpose.
>say more horror franchises should follow the formula
He literally never said that.
yes you did jay.
Never seen a David Gordeon Green movie, thank frick, even if this hack recommended it...
Frick, Pineapple express looked fine though..
his early comedy stuff was pre good but he's a garbage horror director
I just don't love them anymore
Can we ever forgive them
>7:01
>Mike: "this movie has so many fricking white people"
why does he do this every single review?
>it's real
jesus christ
I went to 7:01, the sentence was "choice to go watch this trash" by Mike. Baiting moron, I'm tracing your IP. See you soon.
Coz it gets reactions every single time
>the little girls were excellent
Holy based Mike.
why can i see Ellen Burstyn's nipples (at 12:48), what the frick is this movie
kek this thing just happened to last podcast on the left
I stopped listening to those gays when they shat on the song Centerfold for being misogynistic.
you didn't miss out, I think that was only a few years ago but their ability to be funny has gone way down as they got success (no surprise really), but their research gets better I guess because they hire people to do it. I guess the moral of the story is don't be from wisconsin
ESLs should get someone who speaks English to fix these troll posts for them.
>22:11 - Mike: Ooh ooga booga
It's over. Mike's getting cancelled.
>Spooky spooky!
Holy shit. Mike "the Spook Nuke" Stoklasa is so fricking back.
>Mike thinks only Catholics do communion
...
grape juice doesn't count
He also thinks Protestants don’t believe in angels and demons.
and they couldn't think of Denominations, or even call them factions, NOT other religions, even Judaism fits in there...
It's only symbolic to most protestants and done on occasions.
Transubstantiation vs consubstantiation.
I was raised Lutheran and we had communion every Sunday.
lets be real here the catholic is the one that counts
Oyster Crackers and Welch's Grape Juice don't count
>they called it the wokercist
does Cinemaphile like them again
Remember when Jay had a weird vendetta against Joker director Todd Phillips and said he doesn't consider him a real filmmaker?
he is right
>NOOO YOU CAN'T CRITICIZE MY HECKING INCEL CHUD MOVIE
Yeah, pretty funny considering that Jay and Mike and far from what I'd consider real filmmakers.
We'll see when he makes other genre movies or his deuxeme...
I only watched it because of his Batman conection...
joker was such a shit movie
He actually didn't say that, he instead said that he'd always found Todd Philips interesting even during his gross-out comedy days because he started off his career doing Hated: The GG Allin documentary. He just didn't like Joker
>constantly whine about white people
>discuss the patriarchy
>calls white family "Trump supporters" for no reason
so RLM are just fully leftist now?
those are things the movie did
moron
Discord troony malding over the RLM review, lmao
>Mike literally ranting about the casting decisions of woke hollywood
>Cinemaphile will still persist on its autistic headcanon that he's compromised
He was criticizing white execs who only accepted things if there were still white people involved
For fricks sake no he made a point about how all this casting based on race is dumb and cynical and how woke hollywood put itself into a situation where it cant avoid controversy.
casting based on race isn't dumb. casting white people based on their race is dumb. it's a nuanced difference.
I dont even understand what you are trying to get at.
too nuanced
This. They can’t criticize something woke and gay without using some mental gymnastics to blame old white men for it.
The biggest enemies of white people are white leftists. White woketards need to be called out.
The way they say it just makes it seem like they'd be fine with it so long as it's a poc making these decisions. Which is literally the case, they're totally on board for this shit, sadly.
>The biggest enemies of white people are white leftists
You mean these people?
TIL Cinemaphile doesn't know how to watch a youtube video
i only watch television and films
not youtube boomslop
television is more slop like
>Mike likes wine
He's just like me
>Wokercist
Ummmmm Mike's a racist huh?
>spooky
>oga booga
Yes.
>slave magic
Of course he is. He lives in a place with black people.
For those playing at home, Minnesota has about 10 times as many white people as blacks.
Now show me per capita.
Keep black people bar same size. White people bar becomes ~1/10th its current size.
I always thought wine was for women, they're looking like gays
>it takes all the religions to exorcise the demons
Lmao
>I'm putting together a team
all i had to see to avoid this piece of shit
Damn, surprised how hard mike went against wokeshit.
Yeah, but they won't go full weimar... even in their Robocop 2 Re:view they refused to talk about and expand on that board meeting scene and how it refñects woke thinking...
>board meeting scene
What about it did they ignore?
what'd you expect? he's the republican of the group
He's a cynic at heart.
he really wants (You) to love him
it's always a fun episode when they break out the booze
Whats it like to be a hollywood bigshot and then RLM calls your newest movie dogshit?
>still better than space cop or the recovered
It's worse because those movies weren't sequels to good movies
i laughed my ass off when Mike drank the shitty wine, that were funnie hehe
Anti-RLMsisters... they actually weren't awful... how do we respond?
first time hearing jay outright say something was dogshit
?t=652
They're too forgiving of it because it didn't work, but I get what he's saying.
Never seen any exorcist movie they worth?
Eh. The real horror in the first one is all the hospital shit, that's what actually made people faint in the theaters back in the day. The paranormal possession stuff is just spooky.
1 is an all-time classic. 3 is polarizing, some people hate it while others say it's an underrated and underappreciated gem. 2 and those 2000s prequels are fricking horrible. Haven't seen the new one yet but it sounds like it's maybe potentially even worse than 2.
The first one is a classic, and probably my favorite film.
No, its not a timeless classic. Watch only to have seen it.
1 is fantastic
2 is crap
3 is very good
Just watch Kermode's eight minute review and save 30 minutes of your life.
no
Okay, just keep wanking off to fatman and bobbin then
innit
So obvious Mike really wanted to make movies, he can't do a review these days without seguing into some random movie idea.
He did it again? Glad i stopped when they started talking about the child actors.
Very telling that the best they can do is a
>it's bad on purpose!!
"Comedy" that noone outside their fanbase would even consider watching.
Same story with James Rolfe, being passionate about film isn't worth SHIT. They can talk about film in a moderately entertaining way, which most hollywood directors probably couldn't emulate. I know which one I'd rather be.
There's nothing stopping them from making micro-budgeted movies on a regular basis except their own lack of talent.
They could definitely produce a blumhouse budget film if they started having sponsors.
That being said, I'd be very much against it, seeing as they'll never make something half decent outside of reviews/discussions on film. An RLM-made movie (that isn't purposely made in jest to avoid criticism) would be Daar Mann tier. Marginally better written woth worse production value.
>”Woke-rcist”
>shitting on the Snow White remake
RLM are BACK.
>RLM are BACK.
No they're not. They'll get a stern lecture from their ~~*handler*~~ and it will be right back to peddling goyslop in the next HitB.
their lecturer is too busy being stoned to death by hummus
on the Snow White remake
By saying the main actress should have been played by the swarthiest nilotic they could find in south suden.
I hope they review the FNAF movie when it comes out. Mike's ignorance of video games is always amusing.
Can someone catch me up with this “RLM doesn’t review popular movies” meme?
They did Oppenheimer like two weeks ago.
they stopped reviewing every single shitty marvel/superhero movie that came out
I can't believe people are actually upset about this, especially on Cinemaphile of all places. What's the point of seeing and reviewing the same fricking movies (Capeshit) over and over again? They review these movies with a recommendation, and honestly if you like one marvel movie you'll like most of them because there's barely any difference.
Everyone in the comments kept asking them to review The Batman when it was released, and because everyone kept asking for it they decided they shrimply wouldn't do it. The meme that they don't review popular movies spawned from there, even though they clearly do still review popular movies.
This is a straw-man. RLM stopped SHITTING on MAINSTREAM movies a long time ago. They haven't shit on a mainstream movie like this in several years.
Indiana Jones and the dial of destiny was three months ago
And they liked it.
>literally recommended it at the end
They also liked Kenobi.
mike and rich liked Kenobi, but only because they had just been mindbroken by the sheer awfulness of Picard S2.
They refused to visit theaters for a couple of years so they only talked about Netflix shit or movies that came out months ago
They hit on the key point that Hollywood studio films have to be “for everyone” which makes them all homogeneous slop. How can such a system produce honest art? It’s inherently compromised.
that's the whole point of cultural industry. adorno and korkhiemer thought about it more than 50 years ago. if then was bad imagine now
How is this supposed to be a trilogy?
There's nothing even leading into a second movie. Everything is resolved by the end.
They were fairly spot-on this time... Feels strange.
How much of this episode is bleeped out?
What's even the point of RLM if they can't swear and make jokes?
Blame youtube's demonetization rules
They could easily upload uncensored episodes to more freedom-oriented platforms, but they're too cowardly to do that.
Have they ever had Tim Heidecker on? I feel like they would get along, considering the movies/pop culture references they make. Also Mike used to do a lot of Tim and Eric-esque humor on the show.
He guest starred in a very early HitB episode.
Yes
Get this leftist homosexual out of here.
>I don't like him because of his personal political views
There's more to human beings than that, you know?
Tell that to timmy
He's a piece of shit who wants to cancel everyone that isn't a piece of shit like himself.
Mike accused Tim of ripping off HITB.
oh my god shut up you insufferable homosexuals
I had no idea this movie was even out. Having every religion be right is the dumbest fricking thing you can do for a demon horror story. The scariest idea about demons is that 99.999% of humans in history are likely wrong and have no way of combating them.
>Haitian spiritual practices and African-American root doctor traditions are presented as aligned with light, rather than darkness. This is extremely welcome. Given the amount of media that treats black and indigenous religion as sinister and even demonic, this positive portrayal is a commendable choice. Equally, the decision to have Christian characters of various denominations stand alongside one another, as well as the traditional African American healer character, makes a powerful statement about community and togetherness.
>Haitian spiritual practices and African-American root doctor traditions are presented as aligned with light, rather than darkness. This is extremely welcome.
>written by a senior lecturer at Nottingham Law School
>unironically praising sangoma where charms made of cut-off albino parts are used to make you rich and spreading aids to toddlers are supposed to cure you of aids
Nothing makes me more worried about the future of western societies than seeing what women going into law say or believe.
LMAO did they really pull a Force Awakens on The Exorcist AND inject Universalism in it?? Vidya wins again. Hollywoke is trash.
They're gone on-record saying that only rooting The Exorcist in Christianity is "limiting".
They literally complained about the fact that it includes "all religions", because exorcism is a specifically catholic thing.
>make 2016 show non-canon
>recycle plot elements from it anyway.
Is it any good? 7.9 seems like a high rating compared to the sequels
It had some dumb stuff, but it was an okay ride.
guys for real, how do I make my hair look like Jay's? What do I tell the barber so that it grows out like that, and what products should I use to get that shine and thickness? I have similar hair texture to his, maybe a little less volume.
>inb4 gay, use cum, semen, etc.
Go to an actual salon and literally show them Jay's hair in the video on your phone and ask them for help. They're paid to shill all kinds of shit and will happily style your shit however you want.
What if I only want the cutest girl who works there to do it?
Not to blogpost but it took me 4 or 5 trips to my salon before I sussed out who the best/cutest woman was so it may take you a few trips. Just shop around a bit and ask for different women each time.
But man? The woman I go to, frick sake she's so petite and friendly. Always goes on and on about how I should come in more, not let it grow out so much and it's such a transformation every time yadda yadda. Of course she just wants to make more money and is not so subtly calling me a bum every time I walk in but what's it matter when a hottie is the one talking? Hell, she uses me to model her work on the salons website.
Just gotta go for it anon.
I'm halfway through the review, and it's obvious modern politics have killed movies. They can't even discuss the plot of the movie because it's one woke plot point after another: the patriarchy line, the racial casting for the girls and films in general, every religion getting a turn exorcising, etc... Just relentless.
>pleb reddit media
>israelite cucklasa
>gay bugman
>b***h evans
It's been so long since they thoroughly shit on a mainstream movie I forgot what it was like. Makes me wanna watch old HitBs when they were doing it on a regular basis.
Their paul blart review remains the greatest hitb they're ever done.
I like that it's Jay caring about the original and getting angry over it taking a shit on it for once.
It's sort of like hearing Mike rage over Picard.
Oh yeah, it's up it's up. Oh god yes IT'S UPPPP!!!!!
we eating good today rlm bros
>we can't have snow white be a white lady
so they acknowledge now that hollywood is blatantly anti-white?
anon literally everybody with eyes and a functioning brain knows and acknowledges that hollywood is going out of their way to cast nonwhites in white roles.
when has rlm or actual hollywood producers themselves have ever stated otherwise?
This piece of shit was worse than I could have possibly imagined.
Oh no, Jay is gonna troon out, isn't he?
That's right, Susan!
When my friends, family and clergy ask why I have no friends, I tell them they all live in Wisconsin.
>when my friends ask why I have no friends
Damn what a bunch of buttholes
wisconsin and canada, tbh
same difference
>movie with religious themes
ho boy, I wonder what I can expect from this review
I love these
>father does something bad
>child is sentenced to hell for eternity
seems a bit mean spirited
They were white so it's fine, goy.
Videos have been coming out at a good pace recently. Do they need to get more videos out to cover the legal fees for the court case?
I'm confused if Jay is such a big Exorcist fan, why didnt he mention that Pazuzu was an old Mesopotamian demon. Also surprised he didn't bring up The Ninth Configuration and its place in Blatty's Trilogy of Faith
>surprised he didn't bring up The Ninth Configuration and its place in Blatty's Trilogy of Faith
Probably saving that for the ReView
It was left unmentioned in their Legion re:view as well. I'm guessing Jay either doesn't care about it or maybe thinks it's garbage. Criminally underrated film either way.
>Say's Luke Sykwalker went in an interesting direction
And dropped.
I bet they can't believe their luck the patreon money keeps rolling in despite their low effort videos.
Does anyone find it weird that they're friends with Macaulay Culkin? Like I know he's just a dude and probably got friends. This has just always felt like a weird place for him to turn up is all.
He's desperate for any kind of attention and RLM are the perfect group to leech off of.
He probably contacted to say he was a fan and wanted to go on and they did as a joke but then its like hey he's kinda okay lets invite him back some times. But his super uber gay turbo homosexual butt buddy friend needs to be raped
It's pretty weird that there's so much video of Macaulay Culkin fricking around with Rich Evans. He got to advertise whatever bunny ears is and if he's a fan then it seems like a fun way to spend his time he's your not pumping babies into Brenda Song. The funny part is that the guy that hooked them up is persona non grata now.