Hey guys, just like to let you all know i finally had sex and have a gf. 31 years old and it finally happened for me. A fat loser with no future and she chose to stick with me after an insane first time.
>friends always trying to hook me up with his gf's sister >finally were drunk and they're pressuring us >Go back to my place >talk for a bit and then start fricking >i got whiskey dick, unable to stay full mast but still able to frick >go down on her because I want to taste pussy for the first time too >immediately spew chunks on her >Spew chunks in the kitchen >Slip and land on my side, splashing puke everywhere >frantically getting up and racing to the bathroom >puke in the sink that i had just trimmed my beard and pubes into prior to fricking >She tells me she's leaving >say im sorry about what just happened >clean my bed and sleep with my head racing about what i just did >want to die, but i can smell her on my pillow >enamoured with thoughts of her because she was so nice >next day im dead inside >day after this, she comes to my house unannounced and we talk some more >We start fricking again >She's coming over tonight to netflix and chill
sometimes, last time was a few days ago. I'm not a clever man. and it never happens when I think I'll skip a meal today, no it's always after I've ate a giant meal so I get to mop all the chunks up.
I've yet to find a character in fiction that I can relate to a lot on many personal levels, as much as I do to Brenda from Six Feet Under. It's not because of her nihilistic facade, but for everything else, that she's brilliant and a total wreck, and that despite all the odds stacked in her favor and all the self-sabotaging she does over the course of the show, she does manage to overcome it.
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Ernest was the fricking man.
I often tell my family and friends this. You either have "it" or you don't.
I am never going to give up trying to get a girlfriend and have a family
Me either! I don't care if I turn 60 this year!
just SEAmaxx
We are going to make it bro!
Steve seems pretty based tbh. Like reviewbrahs Chad older brother
Shame it's inevitable he'll get cancer with al the MREs he's been eating
Borgnine had 5 wives and 4 children. This casting is incel erasure.
Falling Down, except the entire country is LA now.
Los Angeles or Louisiana?
Was there a Falling Down that took place in Louisiana? Didn't think so.
The Elephant Man (1978)
Do men really live like this?
if you're under 5'10 and sub-7 facially yes
If it makes you feel any better I'm 6'0 and a 9/10 and this is the only life I have ever known
I do
No i don't work
Jeff Garland in Curb minus the successful career and daily contact with his best friends.
Minus the wife n kids
you sell women's shoes?
imagine the smell
i live like this and it's fricking beautiful
jerk off daily
frick hookers
frick girls off tinder if you want to degrade yourself
NEVER get yourself a gf you morons
Actually:
put the NEET blanket on him and it's perfect
>Characters that describe your life perfectly
Jenny's dad from forest gump
Hey guys, just like to let you all know i finally had sex and have a gf. 31 years old and it finally happened for me. A fat loser with no future and she chose to stick with me after an insane first time.
>friends always trying to hook me up with his gf's sister
>finally were drunk and they're pressuring us
>Go back to my place
>talk for a bit and then start fricking
>i got whiskey dick, unable to stay full mast but still able to frick
>go down on her because I want to taste pussy for the first time too
>immediately spew chunks on her
>Spew chunks in the kitchen
>Slip and land on my side, splashing puke everywhere
>frantically getting up and racing to the bathroom
>puke in the sink that i had just trimmed my beard and pubes into prior to fricking
>She tells me she's leaving
>say im sorry about what just happened
>clean my bed and sleep with my head racing about what i just did
>want to die, but i can smell her on my pillow
>enamoured with thoughts of her because she was so nice
>next day im dead inside
>day after this, she comes to my house unannounced and we talk some more
>We start fricking again
>She's coming over tonight to netflix and chill
HOW THE FRICK DID I MANAGE TO BE THIS LUCKY!!?
her pussy stank? thats how you got her. also she's fat.
were you wizard before?
YES! It can happen for any of us bros! Her pussy was really stinky but that don't bother me none! All the best french cheeses are smelly!
that's just an average night for me but without the pussy
So you just get drunk and puke your guts out?
sometimes, last time was a few days ago. I'm not a clever man. and it never happens when I think I'll skip a meal today, no it's always after I've ate a giant meal so I get to mop all the chunks up.
Nice story, man. You two enjoy yourselves tonight!
>HOW THE FRICK DID I MANAGE TO BE THIS LUCKY!!?
they're paying her (a lot by the sounds of things) to do this you dunce
I've yet to find a character in fiction that I can relate to a lot on many personal levels, as much as I do to Brenda from Six Feet Under. It's not because of her nihilistic facade, but for everything else, that she's brilliant and a total wreck, and that despite all the odds stacked in her favor and all the self-sabotaging she does over the course of the show, she does manage to overcome it.
frick her and frick you
Filtered.
I member
me me me literally me
WFH be like
Metaphorically and metaphysically I relate to him in part.