ITT: We come up with new capeshit powers
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ITT: We come up with new capeshit powers
ITT: We come up with new capeshit powers
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
UFOs Are A Psyop Shirt $21.68 |
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Ability to get a gf
your life still feels empty
Ability to get a gf (male)
the side effect is that they immediately leave you after exchanging 5 words, your mission is to get to 2nd base without uttering anything
Except she ghosts you constantly, manipulates you, gaslights you and cheats on you. If you try to protest any of this she will paint herself as the victim, you the horrible abuser.
feet magnet power, women can't help but rub their bare feet on me
Only work with obese, unhygienic black women
that's not a side effect that's a restriction
but if you put them in your mouth your tongue will start dissolving
Everytime they rub on you, your penis gets smaller
Making contact with their feet gives you AIDS, and 30 seconds to live. Also their feet are dry, rough and filled with ulcers.
>yeah but your wiener falls off and you get leprosy, and you shit yourself
real shit way of playing the game, indicative of a stilted imagination.
That was real uncalled for man. No need to be so rude in such an immensely wholesome thread.
I'm sorry. But come on, shit like
or
is actually funny and thought provoking about how to overcome the downside. "Lol your legs fall off" is just nothing. Here have this random webm as a small peace token.
This is my fricking dream since I watched this video
To be able to have that
That must be the happiest men alive
I know I would be
you might have the makings of a serial killer, anon.
But that guy wasn't a serial killer
Just a lucky men that found a women into extreme bondange
Women with extreme bondage kinks exist
I just want one of those
Assuming this is real, how long do you think he leaves her all tied up under the floor?
I would push as much as she can
Probably 10-12 hours, 15 with a proper harness
frick that is disturbing
>be on Cinemaphile
>someone wanting to put a consenting woman in comfy harness for a bit is disturbing
you haven't been here long, have you?
It's perfectly reasonable.
I, and 99% of the population, would be able to live their lives perfectly fine if that's the downside.
That's the funny thing.
You saying "B-ut that's unfair!" when it's absolutely fair. Just don't cater to your disgust fetish and your wiener will never fall and you'll never have leprosy and shit yourself. Like baseline for 99% of humanity.
But you can't fathom that.
That's the funny part.
>Just don't cater to your disgust fetish and your wiener will never fall and you'll never have leprosy and shit yourself.
But that's my fetish.
power of love
you are only able to feel love for femboys
Telekinesis
Only work with objects you can actually carry without it
Thats just lvl 1 telekinesis
ability to save tomboys from transitioning
they abandon tomboy lifestyle
they turn gay instead
kys. 90% of tomboys are attention prostitutes who like being the center of attention in large groups of men
You can have a bag of hot popcorn and a coke whenever you're watching your favorite kinod
the coke sprays when you open it
Side effect is you always get the popcorn stuck in your teeth
Side effect: all the food come from your peehole
ability to transform into a bouncy ball
you can't change back
your owner is a gay man who likes to shove balls up his ass
super high jump
you shit your pants any time you jump
supersonic projectile shits that can cut through anything
Only you jump so high that you end up in space, not being able to get down, and you die.
you are able to make anyone fall in love with you by just making eye contact with them
but you have to make eye contact with them
the ability to swap side effects
Side effect cancel the main effect
What now pointdexter
your eyes can turn into wasps that kill people with a deadly venom, also you can see with the wasps eyes.
you slowly morph into an actual wasp every time you use this power
which is even better
*bzzzbzbzbzbzzzzbzzzzzt*
But you can't stop shidding and farting and cumming
Mind control people
but in order to mind control them you need to insert your penis in their ass
Only work with asian midgets
fair enough
The power to persuade anyone to do absolutely anything for you, absolutely no restrictions.
Side effect: It only works at 2,000ft below the ocean.
but after they do what you asked them to, they’ll try to kill you
stop crowdsourcing you lazy fricking writers go live life and learn how to tell a good story and anything is interesting.
go have a nice day crybaby
Except that the good story built off of real life experiences now leads to several murders occurring within the span of a week.
Gibbon mind
the ability to breathe mercury
Side effect: deadly allergy to mercury
I'm God, that's my new super power. I'm the almighty lord.
But israelites will kill your son and 2000 years later claim youre a homosexual black woman.
your dominion is measured by those that believe in you
you have an extreme phobia of iron chariots
heal any wound, disease, cancer, restore vision and limbs etc
It only works on newts
side effect: any thing you heal from someone else gets passed to you
that's just the Green Mile
You are able to understand zoomer slang
you start talking in zoomer slang
But also, you can only speak in it.
Zoomer females can read your mind when you use the powers
the power to not bore
you become too interesting and the global infrastructure collapses because everyone's following you
dicky! power of dicky
have a nice day immediately
live yourself immediately
You get dicky but you are no longer a pedophile so it kinda sucks now
you go to prison and get shivved
You are in a constant state of near death. You ride the perfect balance of being alive and dead.
You have dicky, but she doesn't want sex with you and also will never see you as a father figure, she thinks you are just a sad man, and she wants a strong daddy, and you can never make her change her mind
I choose to die.
There is an afterlife, and you get to enjoy it for a couple weeks, untill daenerys gets there.
And you'll be there forever.
you've been blessed with the power of repatriation
You gain the power to die at any time, but it has to be in close proximity to a loved one and it will look incredibly gruesome and traumatise them.
If there are no loved ones, one must be gained before the power is able to activate
>Anon finally goes on a quest to gain a loved one just so he can die
>Finds the woman of his dreams
>Dies
You are able to transform into Timothee Chalamet
you are now gay
KeK
Josh Brolin is constantly trying to frick your ass
you look like Timothee Chalamet
Influence probability
probability differences are shunted to events outside your knowledge
so it just doesn't work? Cool.
if you change the probability of something by x% then that percent change is added to or subtracted from something random that you don't know about so as to serve your goal
eg. you roll a 5 like you wanted but later on someone spills coffee on your suit when they wouldn't have done that if you didn't influence probability to roll that 5
>the odds you influence are meaningless to the results
Every time you do this you get a migraine and a nose bleed like Ashton Kutcher in The Butterfly Effect
does he have to kill himself in the womb too?
is this from the directors cut ending? is it kino or is the ending with them walking meanwhile oasis plays superior?
It's been so long since I've seen it I couldn't really tell you. But yeah, it's from the director's cut.
Like that one movie/YA novel, every time you influence probabilities to something good, you give a free "Something bad ticket" to a demon for the same probabilities that he can use in whatever he wants
teleportation
You can only teleport just directly above a massive bot of boiling urine.
Each time you teleport, you are 1 inch shorter
you can acidentally teleport inside solid objects
The power to turn invisible at will, clothes included, given that you're wearing clothes.
Your pubes are the only thing that stays visible
It doesn't work on your penis.
You also can't see since everything you need to process sight is also invisible.
you have to have your eyes closed for it to work
Ability to get a tall gf(not male).
She conveniently has a penis.
but it's a feminine one
>gf(not male)
the thing in the webm is clearly a troon.
she collapses under her own weight and you have to keep her in a water tank
She's too big to have sex with without killing you.
oh no the horror
You can turn into any character ever played by Nicholas Cage, but can't control which one it will be.
most of the time it's his character in Ant Bully
You instantly gain the knowledge of where your crush/gfs exes live and you can go kill them without any repercussions
You have no crush or exes
They all have fully armed body guards that can and will kill any potential trespassers/ne'er-do-wells patrolling their residences at all hours of the day and night, and security cameras up the ass. Their protection is entirely government funded.
You're in love with yourself.
The power to shit on command.
But you instantly turn indian
You have to piss and vomit while doing it.
you shit cannonballs
once a day you randomly shit yourself without warning and it smells like death
full time control
You are only able to stop time for those around you and not yourself
you die instantly
Super intelligence.
everyone hates you
Already true, so worth it.
Ability to travel back in time
You become African.
ugh.. this hasn't aged well, don't they know britain has always been black
But you can only witness the past, rather than interact with anything. Upon returning to the present, you forget all of it.
you can't go forward
You can only travel back to before the big bang
Timecops are after you.
You gain all of Steven Seagal's powers (martial arts mastery, invulnerability, invincibility, musical mastery & zen mastery) but must recharge them by watching one of his movies every 24hrs.
Side effect: You must watch a Steven Seagal movies every 24 hours
you are also slowly turning into a rabbit
You can only use these powers while someone films you.
ABILITY TO BE A Cinemaphile JANNY AND GET PAID FOR IT
you become allergic to estrogen.
your pay is in Venezuelan dollars
can it be in Venezuelan trollops?
I'll give you a Venezuelan wallop if you try and haggle with me again boy
You weigh 1200lbs
The ability to transform into any human being alive, and that has ever lived.
But every time you transform into someone new you lose the memories of your past self
The longer you stay as the person the more you begin to adopt their thinking and mannerisms. If you stay as them for longer than a week you aren't able to transform out
You get the ability to kill one person of your choice without facing any repercussions from the law.
Turn light rays/beams into solid material
The ability to get digits any time you want on internet messageboards