Guys, I think my boss, and sub-sequentially my entire workplace is working for the Kingpin. It's good money and everyone is nice but I don't want to get my bones broken cause I work here, what do I do?
Ps. I also hate mutants
J Jonah thinks it's some kind of Spider-cult, he's also the only one pointing out that you can't just call all the Spider-men, Spider-man that gets confusing, what if one of them accidentally kills a guy? And now you gotta say "I like Spider-man but Spider-man is a horrible murderer and I hate him"
When I was walking towards my job this morning I saw a sexy woman with white hair running around in a erotic black suit, I think this is the luckiest day of my life!
I live in Citrusville, Florida.
You if think all those Florida Man stories are crazy, you ain’t seen shit until you’ve been to Citrusville.
Monsters in the swamp, sexy witches, zombies and talking animals.
Some people say the fountain of youth is here and they’ve seen conquistadors still living around.
Anything you’ve seen on a tabloid cover is pretty much here.
TMZ is always here too.
frick muties, why the frick should I give a shit about them if they're acting superior to us everyday and they almost caused our death like thosands of times??
also frick Iron Man, that guy sucks
Dude have you seen those mutie girl like Captain Britain.
Let them get away with it, if you ask me, as long as they’re hot.
I agree about those ugly muties though.
My friend said his uncle’s friend’s roommates was the custodian in the Baxter Building. And that he’s got photos of Susan Richards going down on her husband in the F4 pool.
No lie.
There's this killer new ice cream stand downtown. The girl who's running it is super cute. And the ice cream was amazing! That said, I'm not sure where it came from. She just had an old repurposed hot dog cart with her.
I ordered mint chocolate chip, she grabs a cone, closes the curtain and just a few moments later, she's handing me my sweet frozen treat!
She probably teleports away to get the ice cream, that would explain the curtain. Anyway, you guys should check it out when you're downtown!
Dude, my friend had a great wet dream last night, but he claims the Invisible Woman came and gave him head.
I call bullshit.
But he swears she’s just that bawdy.
I called the police to complain about the muties living in the sewers, and they laughed at me. Do cops even do anything? Spider-Man stops most of the crime in my neighborhood.
Frick Mayor Cage.
I miss when Mayor Fisk made New York Awesome!
Who does Cage think he is.
I didn’t vote for him.
Anything’s better than Mayor Jameson though. I don’t want all my tax dollars going to hunt for Spider-Man.
Frick Cage. Frick Jameson.
We need someone worth voting for!
Guys i had sex with my new girlfriend for the first time last night. She kept laughing at me and called my penis super small.
I told her I was actually average and she didn’t believe me.
She used to hang with some big shot in Las Vegas name Joe Fixit.
I called her a prostitute, then kicked her out.
First my dads died during Maximum Carnage.
Then my Grandparents died in Washington, DC during Kang invasion.
Then my brother died at a Bears game in Soldier Field in Chicago by the UFO’s and Asgardians.
Then over a year ago my mother and sister died in some Las Vegas disaster with demons.
Now I only live in my underground bunker in Citrusville, Florida and waiting for the world to end like my pastor says.
I deliver for DoorDash at night in NYC.
I swore every time I look over my shoulder I see in the corner of my eye, some all white dressed person.
Once I even heard some whisper of “travelers in the night…”
Am I going crazy?
>be Spider-Dude of Earth-42069101 >some big Mexican-Irish dude recruits me into his Spider-Society >I find out that literally every spider-person in the multiverse has a nice ass >except me
Anyone here work at A.I.M.? I am thinking of applying, but there is nothing posted about their working conditions or there retirement benefits, so I am not sure its worth going for.
man, i almost died last night.
i got shitfaced. went out to the balcony to get some fresh air.
i guess i tripped, because suddenly i'm fricking falling, and this was a nice club, high up.
luckily got rescued, it was ghost-spider.
kinda cool swinging around up there.
but as she's saving me, weirdest thing...
my arm brushed against her crotch.
wasn't doing it on purpose, just trying to hang on.
but... there was something THERE fellas.
Why do all the women in the world only wear pants, even on the beach, they wear bikinis and leotards, now all the women dress like men, even the super-heroines, look at Carol Danvers and Ororo, what's going on?
Guys, I need help.
I can suddenly move things with my mind... I think I'm a mutant.
What do i do, should i claim i touched a glowing crystal, or got bit by an alien of something?
I wanna be a superhero, not a freak.
I could swear I was white last night when I went to bed.
tragically funny
I hate Mutants
Guys, I think my boss, and sub-sequentially my entire workplace is working for the Kingpin. It's good money and everyone is nice but I don't want to get my bones broken cause I work here, what do I do?
Ps. I also hate mutants
Why are there so many fricking Spider People out there all in one city
J Jonah thinks it's some kind of Spider-cult, he's also the only one pointing out that you can't just call all the Spider-men, Spider-man that gets confusing, what if one of them accidentally kills a guy? And now you gotta say "I like Spider-man but Spider-man is a horrible murderer and I hate him"
>He hasn't realized New York is cursed by some cosmic entity to constantly fall prey to super frickery
I hacked Kate Bishop’s phone last the night.
Y’kmoe, the Junior Hawkeye chick.
Got all of her nudes.
Hopefully they can’t trace it to me.
When I was walking towards my job this morning I saw a sexy woman with white hair running around in a erotic black suit, I think this is the luckiest day of my life!
How do i get the Girl Hulk to sit on my face?
Hire her as your lawyer bro.
Get that lawyer confidentially, ya know what I’m saying.
I live in Citrusville, Florida.
You if think all those Florida Man stories are crazy, you ain’t seen shit until you’ve been to Citrusville.
Monsters in the swamp, sexy witches, zombies and talking animals.
Some people say the fountain of youth is here and they’ve seen conquistadors still living around.
Anything you’ve seen on a tabloid cover is pretty much here.
TMZ is always here too.
Hey bubs, what's up bubs
*shnnkt*
Is Scott as annoying in person as he is on TV?
I am not crazy i swear i saw a bald homie with a giant head watching over the sky
>One of these gays already
>>>/x/
is that way Black person
frick muties, why the frick should I give a shit about them if they're acting superior to us everyday and they almost caused our death like thosands of times??
also frick Iron Man, that guy sucks
Dude have you seen those mutie girl like Captain Britain.
Let them get away with it, if you ask me, as long as they’re hot.
I agree about those ugly muties though.
yeah frick Magneto and that badass Xavier, but let me frick Wanda
My friend said his uncle’s friend’s roommates was the custodian in the Baxter Building. And that he’s got photos of Susan Richards going down on her husband in the F4 pool.
No lie.
>pool
Are we sure that's her husband?
There's this killer new ice cream stand downtown. The girl who's running it is super cute. And the ice cream was amazing! That said, I'm not sure where it came from. She just had an old repurposed hot dog cart with her.
I ordered mint chocolate chip, she grabs a cone, closes the curtain and just a few moments later, she's handing me my sweet frozen treat!
She probably teleports away to get the ice cream, that would explain the curtain. Anyway, you guys should check it out when you're downtown!
Dude, my friend had a great wet dream last night, but he claims the Invisible Woman came and gave him head.
I call bullshit.
But he swears she’s just that bawdy.
It’s crazy how New York City is more dangerous than active war zones. Anyway, frick muties.
I'm in the bloody Marvel Universe!!!
It's been four days!
She-Hulk is still blaring music nonstop!
I need my sleep!
You think Patsy Waller is offended from all the Rule 34 there is of her from her mother’s comic strip?
I called the police to complain about the muties living in the sewers, and they laughed at me. Do cops even do anything? Spider-Man stops most of the crime in my neighborhood.
Frick Mayor Cage.
I miss when Mayor Fisk made New York Awesome!
Who does Cage think he is.
I didn’t vote for him.
Anything’s better than Mayor Jameson though. I don’t want all my tax dollars going to hunt for Spider-Man.
Frick Cage. Frick Jameson.
We need someone worth voting for!
Guys i had sex with my new girlfriend for the first time last night. She kept laughing at me and called my penis super small.
I told her I was actually average and she didn’t believe me.
She used to hang with some big shot in Las Vegas name Joe Fixit.
I called her a prostitute, then kicked her out.
Am I The butthole?
So anyone know any good mutant dating services?
Do they still have that sex island? I tried to get my three-eyed friend to vouch for me but they're not letting humans in now
What sex island, you sure you haven't been snorting cocaine?
>Go to bed with She-Hulk.
>Wake-up next to a dumpy pig.
Bros was I roofied?
Nah just bed tricked
Isn't that rape?
Like Ponzi Rape.
Worked for Killgrave, didn't it?
I'm a white male without superpowers so I'm probably a villain
Which supervillain do you think will take Ms Marvel’s virginity?
Taking bets.
Purple Man.
Didn’t he cuck Mayor Cage?
I heard Cage is even raising his kid.
Out of sick days
Venom is randomly possesed people downtown.
I run quickly, and blame Venom on not going to work.
>ITT: We pretend we're in the MARVEL Universe
Why is my homeowner's insurance so damn high? I live in New York State.
First my dads died during Maximum Carnage.
Then my Grandparents died in Washington, DC during Kang invasion.
Then my brother died at a Bears game in Soldier Field in Chicago by the UFO’s and Asgardians.
Then over a year ago my mother and sister died in some Las Vegas disaster with demons.
Now I only live in my underground bunker in Citrusville, Florida and waiting for the world to end like my pastor says.
You got any ladies to frick till the world ends?
I deliver for DoorDash at night in NYC.
I swore every time I look over my shoulder I see in the corner of my eye, some all white dressed person.
Once I even heard some whisper of “travelers in the night…”
Am I going crazy?
Mutants and the X-Men are grooming children
>be Spider-Dude of Earth-42069101
>some big Mexican-Irish dude recruits me into his Spider-Society
>I find out that literally every spider-person in the multiverse has a nice ass
>except me
I get no goddamn respect.
But you do have a spider e-girl to pay attention to.
I was cheated! With great spider-powers, there's supposed to be great spider-ass!
It's like being the one version of Hulk who gets fatter the angrier he gets!
It's like being the one version of Wolverine who can't hold his liquor!
I mean you can frick that spider e-girl into a puddle my guy.
I showed up to a crossover with those guys from the Capcom multiverse, that Morrigan chick took one look at me and said "even I wouldn't."
I tell ya, I get NO respect!
Anyone here work at A.I.M.? I am thinking of applying, but there is nothing posted about their working conditions or there retirement benefits, so I am not sure its worth going for.
man, i almost died last night.
i got shitfaced. went out to the balcony to get some fresh air.
i guess i tripped, because suddenly i'm fricking falling, and this was a nice club, high up.
luckily got rescued, it was ghost-spider.
kinda cool swinging around up there.
but as she's saving me, weirdest thing...
my arm brushed against her crotch.
wasn't doing it on purpose, just trying to hang on.
but... there was something THERE fellas.
I love that Pink Deadpool who roams around with her thighs exposed.
MUTANTS
Who do you guys think is the hottest mutant?
Betsy Braddock.
Her measurements are online
Hey dudes, i've got an invitation for that mutie school. i've heard they got hot chicks but i'm sure i have no powers, should i accept the invitation?
Do it.
TOTAL MUTANT DEATH
First girl i meet at the mutie school and the girl is an israelite, man frick this shit i'm going to the avengers academy.
I'll frick her then.
Y’all know that hot network reporter Trish Tilby?
I heard she’s in to bestiality….literally.
She fricked that token mutie ex-Avenger named Beast.
Can you help me guys?
My daughters been converted to those bastard motors.
She listens to Dazzler and Lila Chaney all day. With their posters in her room.
I think she might be dating a mutie boy at school.
What should I do?
I hate the Avengers, I fricking hate mutants
I want to frick this cute mutant so bad!
Bring the bat.
I'm not into ryona.
Man, I hate Black folk.
Why do all the women in the world only wear pants, even on the beach, they wear bikinis and leotards, now all the women dress like men, even the super-heroines, look at Carol Danvers and Ororo, what's going on?
Moon Dragon runs around in a sling bikini. I guess it must be warm on space ships.
Spider-Man looked better with the black suit.
Guys, I need help.
I can suddenly move things with my mind... I think I'm a mutant.
What do i do, should i claim i touched a glowing crystal, or got bit by an alien of something?
I wanna be a superhero, not a freak.
I had sex with Carol Danvers today AMA
breasts or gtfo
How was the line?
Did she peg you?