jake gyllenhaal

the movies he selects are extremely based. he clearly has a keen interest in psychology. i believe jake gyllenhaal to be a wise man. there is no way he doesn't know what's what. is jake gyllenhaal covertly based? could he, against all odds, be /ourguy/?

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >“when I see the sea, I swim in the sea”
    What the frick was his problem

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Problem?

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    What about the time he played a gay heist man in a Michael Bay movie?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      any roles he has done which could be construed as gay were jake gyllenhaal sacrificing his pride short-term so as to keep the long-con of his kowtowing to the liberal media's sick demands going, ready for him to unleash a truthbomb kino once he's got all the fact straight

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Thanks for the info, Jake.
        Were you acting in nightcrawler or did it just work?

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Demolition is my favorite movie of his. I love flicks where actors have visible beard growth over time.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Go to bed Jake, you c**t.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i am not jake gyllenhaal. oh no no, i am not jake gyllenhaal.

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    My favourite G-flick is the one where he BTFOs his roastie except by becoming a successful writer. I watched this with work friends and did a loud whoop when he didn’t show up to the restaurant in the end, almost blew my cover as a 30 year old incel right there

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Roastie ex*

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Which G-flick are you talking about? I don't think I've sent that one

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nocturnal Animals

        And what the frick do you mean by you haven’t seen a g-flick, you MUST have seen this one it’s pure k-i-n-o

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          That one, Jake. Not any of them. Reading comprehension please.
          We all know who you are.
          For me it's, bubble boy.
          Was that one fun to make?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          I've seen most of Jake's cinematic performances, but the only part of that film I've seen is the part where his family is getting attacked in the middle of the desert. It was too stressful for me at the time and I had to turn it off. I'll get back to it another time. Thanks.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Bro you need to get on that G-Flick as soon as possible

            The family attack wasn’t real bro

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              G-Shock? Beautiful.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah my sister got it for my 9th birthday

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                I am going to make a Jake Gyllenhaal Casino Royale adaptation as soon as the technology is there and there’s nobody who can stop me

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Gotchu pham. I'll get right on it

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            you are right in that, were i jake gyllenhaal, i would not be able to let you know that it is me jake gyllenhaal (and that you are not to worry about the woke agenda any further as i am on the case) due to optics. it would blow my cover as an agent of the based, deeply immersed in the israeli propaganda machine known as hollywood, slowly gathering information with which will one day expose its lies. however, anon, with that being said, i can assure you that i am not jake gyllenhaal. oh no no, i am not jake gyllenhaal, AT ALL.

            I know, my man.
            We're all shitting their agenda up, collecting money, and having some great laughs behind their backs.
            Good times.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >could he, against all odds, be /ourguy/?
    only if he's one of those self-hating israelites like kubrick

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i believe that the most based, those with enough understanding of the situation from an internal perspective to actually change things, must be israelites or half-jews themselves. similar to jesus christ. with this in mind, it becomes clear that jake gyllenhaal, with his propensity for psychological kino, is in fact /ourguy/, and has something up his sleeve that will drive a stake through the establishment's heart.

      How is your hot sister, Jake?

      Thanks for the info, Jake.
      Were you acting in nightcrawler or did it just work?

      i am not jake gyllenhaal. no, oh no no, i am certainly not jake gyllenhaal.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Jake, stop lying. It's the fricking internet lol
        Also, quads.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          how do i prove to you that i am not jake gyllenhaal? for i am not jake gyllenhaal, oh no no.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Don't have to, Jake.
            It's the internet.
            You're him, you're the guy now.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Btw this is bill.
            Remember when they approached you with the role of spock for the reboot? That was me.
            Should of taken it. Could of phoned it on, easy.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Should of
              >Could of
              No wonder Hollyweird is dying.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                And that's a bad thing how? I was just saying. Easy money is almost free money.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Can you explain the shitslop he’s filming with Conor mcgregor?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          anon, it's quite simple. the road house reboot is his first foray into the realm of the republican-right. it is his signal to the based that he is on our side, that he is willing to make kino for us despite the powers that be telling him NO, it's misogyny!

          Don't have to, Jake.
          It's the internet.
          You're him, you're the guy now.

          i would be proud to become jake gyllenhaal, were i to feel i deserve it. alas, anon, i am no jake gyllenhaal — i'm not even a maggie.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Jake, I get you like method acting. Are you on set or something?
            Who are you currently.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              let me once again reaffirm to you anon that i am not jake gyllenhaal.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Okay, Jake. I get that posting on Cinemaphile is bad optics but we all do it.
                If you're gonna mingle with us, at least have the balls to have fun.
                I haven't been here for years for no reason.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                you are right in that, were i jake gyllenhaal, i would not be able to let you know that it is me jake gyllenhaal (and that you are not to worry about the woke agenda any further as i am on the case) due to optics. it would blow my cover as an agent of the based, deeply immersed in the israeli propaganda machine known as hollywood, slowly gathering information with which will one day expose its lies. however, anon, with that being said, i can assure you that i am not jake gyllenhaal. oh no no, i am not jake gyllenhaal, AT ALL.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Jake can you do a cool hand gesture the next time you’re getting paparazzid in public to let me know you’re an agent of the based? Thanks in advance

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                anon, i am not jake gyllenhaal. ohohohoho no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. oh no no, i am not, in the slightest, jake gyllenhaal.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                [...]
                Just put your index finger on your nose and look at the camera.

                Also, doesn't have to be soon. Just when you get photographed in public.
                The day you do it is the day I'll reach out to your agent with the code, Based.
                You'll know to reply.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                anon, i am not jake gyllenhaal. ohohohoho no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. oh no no, i am not, in the slightest, jake gyllenhaal.

                Just put your index finger on your nose and look at the camera.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Very subtle, anon.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Thanks, I'll be waiting to send you that message. Need more cool beans in this world

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Agent of the Based. Out.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                [...]
                Also, doesn't have to be soon. Just when you get photographed in public.
                The day you do it is the day I'll reach out to your agent with the code, Based.
                You'll know to reply.

                i am not jake gyllenhaal. but, if my theories regarding jake gyllenhaal's role in the downfall of wokeism are correct — he'll find a way to answer the call.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            No, he is very liberal democrat, very elitist and thinks elites know what's best for the people beneath people like him. "First foray"? All the libs who think Biden really won 85 million votes still take roles that appeal to the right of center. Wonder why!

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              it's okay jake gyllenhaal, your secret is safe with us. godspeed.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        isn't that the one made by the only cool gay fashion guy?

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    How is your hot sister, Jake?

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    He should play Geraldo Rivera in the inevitable biopic

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Jake Gyllenhaal as the next James Bond

    Keep it or need it?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      He should play Geraldo Rivera in the inevitable biopic

      Okay, Jake.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Jake Gyllenhaal as the top in my next sex tape

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      frick that, it'd just be wasted jake. we need him available for the next few years especially, there are going to be a lot of truthkino scripts that Hollywood will try to hide from him. he needs to be free to act in these scripts

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bro he's not based, he did a gay movie getting fricked in the ass

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      After which everyone LMAOd at gays nonstop for years. Doesn’t get more truthkino than that.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      anon, you must see the bigger picture

      any roles he has done which could be construed as gay were jake gyllenhaal sacrificing his pride short-term so as to keep the long-con of his kowtowing to the liberal media's sick demands going, ready for him to unleash a truthbomb kino once he's got all the fact straight

      jakes gyllenhaal knows how to play the game. making the gay movie in 2005 has meant that for the last 19 years, he has been assembling an arsenal of truth with which to destroy the woke agenda, completely uninterrupted.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        My top 3 psychological truthkinos SO FAR are
        1. train CIA simulation
        2. night crawler
        3. nocturnal animals
        4. viagra movie

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Thoughts on bubble boy?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          you don't see how jake gyllenhaal was pre-warning us of the covid lockdown restrictions and their disastrous consequences for our youth?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes.
            Great film about removing individuals from society and the effects on them.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            thats why he made camera crew sleep in their cars. And jump in freezing water(to kill the virus) man a head of time

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yes.
            Great film about removing individuals from society and the effects on them.

            Society is always moving. Removing individuals just impede them to be stunted and not able to function correctly, even if they desperately want to.

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Dang, Jake Gyllenhaal himself posting on Cinemaphile. I never thought I'd see anything like that.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      You'd be shocked who's posting here, anon.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Sarah Gadon seems to post a lot.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous
      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I only know about Robert Pattinson and Kieran (one of the slobs from Cinemassacre but he's hardly a celebrity). Who else posts here?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Henry, Bill, SNL Bill, silverman, musk, Decaprio, Keanu, Millie, Francos.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >had a cute goth chick in high school telling me I looked like Donnie Darko
    >she seemed to be into me and probably wanted me to ask her out
    >thought Donnie Darko was gay and took her compliment as an insult
    >also thought goth chicks were bad news because my christian parents convinced me they all worship satan, ended up avoiding her completely
    Man. I could've had so much goth teen pussy.
    Donnie Darko isn't so bad either now that I rewatch it, young me with my short attention span was just too stupid to understand the movie.

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Go the frick to sleep, Jake, before you drunkenly post stupid shit that'll get you canned.
    - your agent

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lolll this is probably more real than we know. Jake's getting texts as we speak.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Frick outta here you saying someone ITT snitched?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Sadly there's all kinds of Hollywood eyes here. They farm movie ideas from y'all.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            No cap?

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              No cap. It's a public anonymous fourm.
              How are you gonna sue when they use one of your many ideas in various media you consume?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Frick me

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Boring

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                You know a couple years back I was playing PubG and was musing to my teammates about how they should add sportcars into the game. They added the McLaren in a couple months. I should stop wasting my time on videogames and get back to work.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                They listen. They all do.
                Perk of playing in their world.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >They farm movie ideas from y'all.
            Sweeney is an alien and she kills humans by smothering them with her breasts. I play the protagonist and she almost kills me no fewer than 40 times throughout the film.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Lol she'd want a pretty penny for that smut.
              Ai is coming, friend.
              I'll be smothered by green skin b***hes once again in the digital plane.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            They steal your dreams too

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Most likely, it's possible.
              Nic has a lens that you can see into the future with. Cost him more than his house

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Well that one is easy, when I have a based dream I recite it to myself so obviously the smartphone picks all of it up because I can’t be bothered to leave it outside the bedroom

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                I never spoke mine out loud or wrote them down. but they still stole them.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Also, why would Jake need to go to bed at 1pm? What kind of schedule is he on?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nightcrawler schedule

        Keep the frick up or are you learning nothing from the copious redpills dropped

        Let me spell it out for you, ALL agents of the Based work night shift

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Why would your agent want you on that schedule though?
          Shouldn't he be like, get to work, Jake!

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Im not going to spell it out for you

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              You don't have to, Jake. Just messing with you. Remember it's all fun and games here.
              How many texts you get?

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Oh no no no no, I am definitely not G-Based aka Jake Jake aka Jake Gyllenhaal

                Hoooo no no no

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I keep seeing on all the gossip sites that he is a closet homosexual. I hope that is a lie

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Classic misdirection so G-Based wouldn’t be bothered and distracted by the metric tons of pussy that would be out for his blood otherwise

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Good. Don't fall for the CIA pussy Jake! It's a Trap!

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >road house.
    Whatever. Stupid ass movie.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why would you watch it? Jake already got paid.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    i am not jake gyllenhaal. but if i was jake gyllenhaal, would i make a movie like this without secretly holding the information that will bring down the establishment elite?
    zodiac was their warning. their warning that jake gyllenhaal is coming for them. and no matter how many dead ends you send him down, he won't give up. oh no no, he won't give up.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Go, Jake, go!

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        i am not jake gyllenhaal.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      What if I make spooky phone calls to your house Jake? You gonna remain true to the cause huh? What if I lead you into a spooky basement and have someone walk around above us while telling you were alone in the house?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        i am not jake gyllenhaal, but if i were jake gyllenhaal every intricate detail of my work would be placed there so as to once day be looked back at as an example of how i meticulously plotted the downfall of the establishment elite and their woke, child-killing agenda. were i jake gyllenhaal, i would, upon completion of my task, release what is necessary to enable the based among us to decode the messages he has placed in his kinos — those which prove he has been working from the inside all along — as well as my detailed exposé of the elites' plans for the world, all of the darkest elements of the powers that be and their acts. but i am not jake gyllenhaal. oh no no, not even close.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          GodDAMNIT Jake, PLEASE be more careful!

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          they murdered Heath, didn't they

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Do you anons think that Jake and Maggs ever fooled around and did sexy stuff with each other circa 2001? I think they probably experimented with each other like any rich and beautiful siblings would.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      the establishment would want you to think that they did

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    He's alt-left ultra-lib. Follows WEF on instagram. His military/boxing/MMF roles tend to play up "the beastial man" that he thinks genre fans like.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      ah yes, just as jake gyllenhaal wants you to believe.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      hahahaha yes indeed
      Jake is uhhh *laughs off camera* um „alt-left“

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Bryan Ling, is that you?

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    you would have been a good reed richards

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      there’s not much truthkino redpills you can drop in capeshit, that’s why Jane never did it

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      i am not jake gyllenhaal.

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Jake is a 9/10 actor
    Hell be 10/10 in his 50s

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sex with Jake

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's not gay

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        So? I'm not gay either but I still want to frick him.

        Source Code was a lot of fun

        Certified Farmiga kino

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Source Code was a lot of fun

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Jake my friends who worked on that boxing movie you did said you were kind of a dick and said anyone who looked you in the eyes on set would be fired
    I guess you freaked out and try to get the key grip and his son fired because he looked at you, I guess you were like “sorry guys I’m on a bunch of roids for this and kind of freaking out” to play it off, was it the roids Jake or are we just subhuman peons to you as non israelites/famous

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >t. the establishment
      we aren't falling for your lies any more

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      False Flag

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