JJ Abrams has been demoted to the director of the Mattlel Cinematic Universe.
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JJ Abrams has been demoted to the director of the Mattlel Cinematic Universe.
Vin Diesel when??
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/07/10/after-barbie-mattel-is-raiding-its-entire-toy-box?utm_brand=tny&utm_medium=social&mbid=social_twitter&utm_source=twitter&utm_social-type=owned
>Touring the facility, the Mattel Design Center, has become a rite of passage for Hollywood types who are considering transforming one of the company’s products into a movie—a list that now includes such names as J. J. Abrams (Hot Wheels) and Vin Diesel (Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots).
>Vin Diesel (Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots).
wut?
>transforming one of the company's products into a movie
Just... burn it all down.
I prefer the Matchbox Cinematic Universe
For me it's the CCU
Kino.
Why is your Bond's DBIII gold instead of silver?
they had suspensions, shit blew my mind as a kid but the paint always chipped off
8 don't know if this is still true but I remember match box care being indestructible all die cast beasts. Even the undercarriage part was metal. Mean while hot wheels were mostly plastic.
Mattel bought Matchbox in the 90s and treated them like the discount brand sold them at 20 cents less than Hot Wheels
My man!
Jesus Christ. Real life is turning into the Cinematic Clown Universe. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
was just about to post this. i feel like i'm living in the twilight zone this shit is madness.
#clownworld
>JJ Abrams has been demoted to the director of the Mattlel Cinematic Universe.
This was announced last year, it's probably why Mattel put out San Diego Comicon exclusive Bad Robot toys in 2021 and 2022
I assume this is one of the few projects he's got at WB so he's probably hoping it works out
>Hollywood is so desperate they'll make a movie out of anything if it's a familiar brand
I'm not even surprised, just tired
>every toy you ever played with is going to become a dogshit movie
better brace ourselves lads
Which is funny because the Battleship movie already came out 11 years ago
Little known fact: it was actually Chris Brown in CGI b***h-slapping Rihanna
I'm ready
Is that Kinnikuman?
KINO
>hot wheels
>grounded
>gritty
here we go again with this shit, if they are that ashamed of embracing the silliness of the franchise, why not doing their own thing?
Only young boys aged up to 10 or so play with Hot Wheels. Who is this movie going to be made for?
Capeshitters.
this is fake right? We don't really make toy movies right?
There's also a Major Matt Mason movie in development, Tom Hanks is set to star.
Do you guys think they'll tease the Mattel Cinematic Universe at the end of Barbie? If not we may need to wait for the He-Man movie next year.
Has he been booted out of the Big Leagues now?
Why would any company give millions to make a film about toy cars?
It's not just a movie, it's Hot Wheels/Mattel Cinematic Universe.
I WANT CINEMATIC UNIVERSES TO FRICKING STOP
ruin Mission Impossible
ruin Spielberg nostalgia
ruin Star Trek
ruin Star Wars
ruin DC (???)
ruin Speed Racer
ruin Hot Wheels
I was alive when all of those things were in their first iteration. It is stunning to see how each has been ruined.
Mission Impossible 3 is perfectly fine
>Star Wars
>the single most black and white good verses evil story of all time
>still ruin it
it's incredible
its gonna be bey blades next. sigh
>ruin Speed Racer
???? the tranoskis did it and it was their best movie after Matrix 1
i just want a lovely sylvanian family slice of life tv show for all ages to enjoy, is that so much to ask?
oh shit
https://www.youtube.com/@SylvanianFamiliesOfficial/videos
Spend big money on a proper He-Man film of the 80s cartoon. CGI Battle Cat, Orko, Skeletor face, Ram Man, Beast Man, etc.
You anons seen Hot Wheels Highway 35 World Race and AcceleRacers
Corps film when?
>its another Truman gets high and watches 5 hours of ghostjerker playing with hot wheels cars
Never played with Hot Wheels, so I have no horse in this race, but I pit anyone who ever liked Hot Wheels because this hack ruins everything he touches and understands nothing about any franchise he's been involved with. Did his deal with DC die already?
>Did his deal with DC die already?
They never say it outright but it does sound like it got severely deemphasized
>Constantine and Madame X TV shows canceled
>Constantine now replaced by a sequel to the Keanu Reeves Constantine instead
>Black Superman film status is unknown and Gunn hardly brings it up while he's talking about DCU projects, because there's still no script yet
Good. Also, I seem to recall Abrams wrote a script for a Superman movie back in the early 2000's that DC rejected because it was obvious he really didn't understand or know much about Superman. Just like with every other franchise he's gotten his claws into.
>movie about hot wheels
but y tho
seriously why? How are they even going to make a movie about fricking hot wheels
is it gonna be about a collector, the creation of the franchise, or some shitty lego movie rip off
ehh I'm not worried, if anything just confused
unless mattel decides to change how hot wheels fundamentally work they'll still come out
>How are they even going to make a movie about fricking hot wheels
well it's not a 3d animated cartoon so that only leaves something live action in which case it just sounds like some fast and furious wanna-be
You're a moron if you don't know how this can work. Here:
The Hot Wheels cars are sentient, like Cars. They live in a post apocalyptic setting and there is a tournament that takes place every year, the Hot Wheels event, in which 12 candidates enter to-the-death events for a chance of winning and having 1 wish granted by the World Overseer (the kid playing with them on a meta narrative level). The car-icters race, crash, and shred against each other knocking until our victor (car not decided yet) remains... in the end he gets his wish, but it is twisted, and he ends up being melted into material to make more cars.
Yes I just riffed off of Twisted Metal Hollywood can get away with this
the problem is we know damn well jarjar abrams won't do anything even half as interesting as your idea
that just sounds like a twisted metal/cars ripoff
which wouldn't be the worst if jar jar abrams wasn't directing
Well we have to accept the cars to be sentient first for the movie to even happen, so they should get interesting with it
>made 200 million dollars from a 4 year contract with DC/Warner bros
>didn't produce a single thing
How is this even legal?
>mom, do you still have my old toys in the attic, I need my hot wheels
>oh son, we gave them to a charity shop last summer when we were clearing out
>
For me, it's the Playing Frisbee at the Park After School and Eating Pizza After Cinematic Universe
Oh nonono hotwheelbros
How much does JJ know about HW and how faithful does he wanna make this?
I'm waiting for a trailer. If they frick up portraying the Bone Shaker correctly you can tell this will be shit. We could literally be the next big thing after capeshit if he pulls it off though, the lore runs heavy.
>You always pictures boneshaker having a masculine, angry biker voice
>Turns out boneshaker is a sassy black woman
Mfw
>the iconic cars that look better in white are in black
Its over countachbros
>you are now realizing you are living in a clownworld of horrors beyond comprehension
You just know they are going to cast Black folk to play all the hot wheels.
Idres Elba would make a great mustang though
How the frick do these people keep failing upwards? How many billions of dollars can you fricking lose before you stop appointing the exact same 5 nepotism hires to do absolutely fricking everything?
>we still are making "edgy" remakes of kids properties
Can we just not?
Reminder we almost had a Stretch Armstrong movie that was rated PG-13 with Tayler Laughtner
Gritty? Gritty hotwheels?
Jar Jar is cancer at this point.
Major floppo incoming.
idk shit about toys but doesn't Mattel own Masters of the Universe? If they're going to adapt anything first, why not start with giving He-man to JJ? JJ would be perfect for that kind of nostalgia slop
>grounded and gritty
This sounds like an inevitable bomb kek
Marvel is finished.