Just finished watching every Ernest movie and here are the rankings:
Ernest Goes to Jail > Ernest Scared Stupid > Ernest Goes to Camp >>>>> POWER GAP >>>>> Ernest Saves Christmas > Slam Dunk Ernest > Ernest Goes to School > Ernest Rides Again > Ernest Goes to Africa > Ernest in the Army
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slam dunk ernest put me to sleep
Know what I mean, Vern?
Did we ever get to see what Vern looked like?
look in the mirror
Frick…
>I was actually Vern the whole time and didn't maintain my Ernest tulpa so he died in real life
you are Vern. I am Vern. Hell even Ernest was Vern. Know what i mean, Vern?
Decent list but I would put Goes to School a little higher.
What about Ernest Goes To Little St. James Island
Goes to Jail is amazing
There was a fascination with electric chairs in the 80s for some reason: Guilty as Charged, Prison, Shocker, The Horror Show
I believe some jurisdictions still uses the electric chair up until the 80s and there was a lot of controversy about them, so it stirred public interest
>Florida used the electric chair -- known as "Old Sparky" -- from 1924 to 1999. The rickety wooden chair was built by prisoners at Florida State Prison.
later than you think.
I knew a guy who witnessed Ted Bundy's execution
Metallica Ride The Lightning is another example
What about Ernest Goes to Epstein's Island, and it's DTV sequel Ernest Didn't Kill Himself?
Imagine if Jim Varney was Two Face and Robin Williams was the Riddler in Batman Forever.
Man doesn't look like Robin is thrilled to meet Jim
That would be sad if he couldn't appreciate how talented Jim truly was, he was a Shakespearean actor
He's probably trying to look serious with a big stupid tie as a joke.
Nah there's a behind the scenes vid of the two just riffing and joking around with each other
Just a bad photo at press event.
RIP KINGS
>The chad Jim Varney
>The virgin Robin Williams
That might be my aunt, she was the Snow White in the Full House episode.
Ernest goes to jail made me want to see Jim Varney in more roles as the bad guy
Why did someone photoshop Epstein out of this photo?
Shut up israelite
I have a wonderful memory of getting Batman Forever mugs from McDonald's and playing in my backyard after eating, what a time to be alive
>when fast food places incorporated movie merch
I had their batman returns plastic cups, too
Why photoshop this image? The world needs to know the truth
ah yes, comedian jeffrey epstein, famous for his comedically oversized tie and suit lmao
>oversized tie and suit
It was the 90s
Yes, in 1990 my dad always dressed in a zootsuit when we lived in Toon Town and he worked at Acme Corp
ok boomer
Fake
Dude he's in the little black book
Thats Vern
>Hey, Vern! This feller says he has his own island! And he wants us to come!
homosexual
Nice red white & blue necktie.
Solid list OP, way too many people think Christmas is a good movie.
Based Ernest enjoyer.
I'd swap goes to jail and scared stupid but that's just me
Did you have eggs for breakfast OP?
those scenes were the best
I would put Camp ahead of Scared, but otherwise I agree.
You skipped Ernest Goes To Israel
Now you gotta watch the secret Ernest movie
Sell me on this.
It's a secret Ernest movie
It’s some weird adventure horror sci fi parody. Jim varney is the villain in this story with a robot sidekick and harem of evil babes. His goal is to obtain 1,0000 dollars, if not, he’ll wreak the world’s economy. He is also a master of disguise, changing from pirate to grandma to poindexter to even ernest! The montage of him ruining the world is 80s kino
>NINE films
Are you seriously telling me there are more Ernests than Police Academies? That's insane.
Most of them were straight to video.
there's a reason Ernest Rides Again was the last theatrical Ernest movie
It really sucked
Ernest goes to Auschwitz Birkenau.
Wooden doors? That's just plum fiction. Know what I mean vern?
why did ernest go to jail
Ernest Sneaks Contraband Into Florida State Prison
He has a doppelganger who's a bank robber (both played by Jim of course), and the robber gets Ernest put in jail in his place
>Ernest troons out
Valid
I don't know why this character is the most hilarious out of all his various personalities. It's just so fricking ridiculous. In Scared Stupid when he looks at the camera and says 'a woman's work is never done' I fricking lose it to this day. I'm not even thinking about modern troons.
Best is in Ernest Goes to Jail when the ball-and-chains fall out of his dress
>The doctor told me I'd only have to wear these until AFTER the surgery
?t=4801
if you don't want to have sex with this then you're gay
These stairs might as well be mount everest
Yeah I'm more of a Pee Wee guy myself
You forgot
>Ernest Goes to Washington
The one where President Reagan gets Ernest to smuggle guns into South America to arm the contras and then Ernest testifies before Congress to defend the Presedent but then wacky hijinks ensue... Oh, wait that wasn't an Ernest movie, that was CSPAN. My bad.
ernest bros why is it hard to find ernest goes to camp?
pretty easy to find a torrent, I know the Ernest blu ray releases are OOPand expensive
i've been after a good copy for awhile and it -was- elusive but i haven't looked for a few years. i'll have to remedy that i suppose. i just wanted to relive the kino of the food grinder/launcher they made, i remember it launcher a mackerel and other foodstuffs and it made me lol.
Because some vhs cuts of the film still have the infamous 'wet t-shirt scene'. It would have gotten an X rating, so they cut it. But some copies got released.
Ernest Roulette is a I no web review series. Also it's Jail>Xmas>Scared Stupid>Camp>Rides>Otto and nothing else matters
Ernest Does the Math
Ernest Finishes the Job
Vern, has there ever been anybody you just -really don't like? spiteful bosses, annoying in-laws? well it just so happens that I know a guy who can *leans in take care of them for you. It's all an underground operation, vern. You just pay my friend who shall not be named in a suitcase of cash, and he shoots whoever you please! It's foolproof! Just remember to leave the cash in the old abandoned subway station, and uh- make sure to tell 'em your old buddy Ernest sent ya
When I was about 5, my family rented Ernest Scared Stupid. it scared the shit out of me. Turns out the trolls were the same props as killer known from outer space repainted. In the movie, the trolls kidnap people and turn them into wooden statues so they can live forever or some bullshit.
Anyway, my mom put me to bed and I have a bad dream. I dream the trolls came and took my parents and brother away and were coming for me next. When I woke up, literally no one was home. The more I searched the more afraid I got. In the end, I curled up on the couch and started screaming. Just shrieking at the top of my lungs.
Turns out my senpai had gone next door to hang out in the neighbors hot tub. I was usually a good sleeper and my mom thought I'd be fine. I was grounded for 3 days for scsring her when she heard my screams.
>Ernest Scared Stupid. it scared the shit out of me. Turns out the trolls were the same props as killer known from outer space
I love the Chiodo Bros.
>Critters
>Killer Klowns from Outer Space
>Land of the Lost (90's)
>Ernest Scared Stupid
>that image
Soul
Nah they're just The Killer Clowns from Outer Space repainted to be trolls on the cheap.
Soul
They also did Team America and the Large Marge scene from Pee Wee
>white boy
we own America we won it in the war
>Indian man
who can own a rock? who can own a tree?
only the great spirit
frick I must of watched scared stupid 1000 times when I was a kid can even tell you the sounds these different trolls made.
Hey vern
Ernest Soda Commercials >>>>> all movies. Know what I mean Vern?
for me its
Africa (first place for Ernest in blackface) > Camp > Christmas > Jail > Scared Stupid > School > Slam Dunk > Rides Again > Army
ernest in the army is so shit it doesn't even have a proper plot description on wikipedia, just a description from the back of a movie box
I got to know John Cherry over the last few years before he passed. Got to see all kinds of original concept art and everything. Pretty fascinating.
Jail is best, the fricking soap M-16.
and Lyle
Doesn't this guy also show up in the prison in Naked Gun 33 1/3?
That's Randall Tex Cobb, he was in lots of stuff at the time. He's probably best known as the biker from hell in Raising Arizona
Blu-ray collection when?
Those three definitely are good.
Varney is such a fascinating actor, being totally self made. Wish we could have had more time with him to see him in different roles. All his voice acting roles are amazing
has anyone ever seen his performance in(pic related)
you're not a fan if you haven't
>we're so old that we are now living in a time where the new generation has never seen the Beverley Hillbillies
Grim.
and it's not even the based old TV series.
Was wondering where the Blu-ray release for the original series was. Looks like it's embroiled in legal rights bullshit. Go figure.
I did not know that and i guess now it's time to look into it and get disgustipated
Used to love this movie as a kid. Haven’t seen it in a decade at least. Maybe I’ll go buy it.
Jim Varney is the Pierce Brosnan of Jed Clampets.
>Original elle may was hotter
Seriously how?
kino, non childrens movie varney clips
>Ernest Starts a Military Junta
>Ernest Denies the Holocaust
>Ernest on HRT
>POW Ernest
>Ernest Joins the CIA
>Ernest in Baghdad
>Ernest on a Hijacked 747
ERNEST SCARED STUPID RULES
who the frick is vern?
Vern is Ernest's next door neighbor, who is always shown in first person from his perspective so you never see his face
He originated in the TV commercials but also appeared in Ernest Saves Christmas
>School and Africa below Slam Dunk
Never post Ernest again.
I'm a sucker for supernatural basketball films
That was my favorite Disney Channel movie
>THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED WORRELL
Loved the Ernest movies as a kid
That's your world as I see it
Mwahaha
I loved that opening credits and song, but the rest of the film didn't live up to it
Are any of these actually funny or is this stupid boomer humor because from small clips it looks like stupid boomer humor
>stupid boomer humor
i'm a millennial and i hate zoomers more than boomers. frick all of politically correct pozzed homosexuals
I think I got my answer.
Just go back to Tiktok you zoomer. We'll all be happier
>a power gap between Camp and Christmas
What the frick, why? Christmas was kino.
>Not including the kino that was Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain
Plebs
RIP Ernest and Splash Mountain
W…w…what happened to Splash mountain?
Disney killed it because they said it was racist
How the frick was it racist?
whypeepo don season they logs
Nvm, I just searched it, apparently one of the characters was in Song of the South. I hate these people so much.
they are despicable
there is absolutely nothing wrong with the Song of the South.
those folktales and stories are directly from ex black slaves and the Joel Chandler Harris recorded them in the Black dialect in the 1870s. Uncle Remus served the role of the Griot (African story teller) Brer Rabbit, or Brother Rabbit, was the trickster animal character, popular in Africa folktales.
academic blacks absolutely hate any reminder of what they came from. Disney portrayed Uncle Remus as a happy old man. that's a huge no no because no black person from that period can't be happy and most definately can't be happy about telling white children stories in the Jim Crow South. they have to view that era of one of struggle and endless torment. they have a total inability to view that era in a realistic and more nuanced way.
white liberals, especially the wealthier they are, only really know academic blacks because white liberals shut themselves entirely from average black people. they love to virtual signal and feign guilt so in their minds doing something like this is a way for them to atone or some shit.
>Joel Chandler Harris
a white man
and? a white man cared enough to collect these tales and preserve the original dialect. how horrible
A white man exploited blacks and stole their folk tales. I don't necessarily agree with that statement, but that's the prevailing attitude within the black community.
Hilarious , because what would have actually happened is they would've just been forgotten
Blacks are so fricking stupid you have to preserve their history FOR them or it just fades into nothing and then they complain that they don't have any
They've got the long term memory of fricking guinea pigs
which is a stupid attitude because if he hadn't they wouldn't exist. the funny thing is Harris supported the idea of the "New South" where blacks and whites got along.
it is funny how every progressive eventually is viewed by total distain by the people he was trying to help or even his own kind.
It's being replaced by a Princess And The Frog themed ride.
More like re-themed.
they took it down for George Floyd's Log Flume
https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/splash-mountain-has-one-last-weekend-in-disney-world-before-princess-and-the-frog-makeover/2955009/#:~:text=The%20new%20ride%2C%20scheduled%20to,Mountain%20to%20Tiana's%20Bayou%20Adventure.
The only one ever I ever watched regular was Scared Stupid
But, even though I only ever saw the Christmas one once, I've always vividly remembered when they have Santa in jail and there's a cop who says
>Santa? No ... this is Santos! He's a drug dealer!
He had a TV show "Hey Vern, It's Ernest!" which has a lot of backstory to his characters in his movies.
>Ernest Goes to Camp >>>>> POWER GAP >>>>> Ernest Saves Christmas
opinion discard. Christmas is actually a very funny and good movie, plus the actress Noelle Parker is way hot and apparently was bawdting her way through filming fricking random crew members till they got someone to keep an eye on her.
Part of Goes to Jail was filmed in a bank near me and I think about it every time I drive by it.
hey Vern it's me! I'm on Cinemaphile
Ernest Goes to Jail is def the best one. The pen ink scene is a comedy classic routine and it's criminally underrated. Just a lot of great scenes in the movie. The soap into gun bit and the 'practicing his character' mirror bits are fantastic. Ernest was based af may watch tonight, knowwhatimean?
Ernest doing Shakespeare
kek that ending was funny
man he didn't deserve to go
I would put christmas probably before the power gap and army definitely wasnt the worst. but pretty good list, ernest goes to jail is a fricking riot
The snake scene alone elevates Christmas into a good movie
You forgot Ernest goes to Epstein island.
Scared Stupid deserves a lot of credit for actually having terrifying moments in it
*mogs your franchise*
Unlike Pee Wee, Ernest fricks.
They should make a complete 3d model of jim Varney, AI his voice, and create a million new Ernest movies.
My dad's conversion van had a VCR and box TV. On long rides during vacation, my siblings and I would watch the OT Star Wars, Gladiator, O' Brother Where Art Thou, Home Alone, and Ernest Goes to Jail on repeat. It was perfect. They significantly formed my taste in movies. I still remember fast-forwarding through Lucas talking about special effects and remastery. VHS was very comfy
>ITT: zoomer reveals he once experienced SOVL
Ernest kinos we never got.
Are there more of these, my sides are gone.
His commercials were pretty good too if you got them locally.
Ernest Stages a Coup
I never watch these movies because I am from PAKISTAN
I can't find the video, but John Cherry recast Ernest after Jim Varney died.
It did not go well.
Wut?
Ernest goes Troon
hey Vern you know if you dress like a woman and call yourself one everybody has to play along.
I getta use those nice clean women's bathroom's
get free drinks on lady's night
I could even play in women's sports and nobody can say a thing
if anybody they'll get in trouble know what I mean
you said I can't because I'm not into guys Vern
you just don't see the beauty of it I'll just say I identify as female but I'm a lesbian know what I mean
Ernest would never.
IDK, looks like a hate crime by the prison guards
I like the Fletch aspect of Ernest.
Ernest Goes to Columbine was the best one
>Hey Vern! Don't come school tomorrow Vern
Ernest Strikes Back
Bros I can't find some of his movies anywhere. What am I supposed to do?
My library network has them all. Maybe your library network has them all.
Many actors are narcissists and ambitious. Pretty required traits to want the job. You wouldn't know them if they were satisfied stoics.
Jim Carrey couldn’t even hold this guy jock strap.
I read Jim Varney's biography, The Importance of Being Ernest (not a bad read, if you're at all interested), and I guess Jim wasn't happy that he got typecast as Ernest, and he also didn't like that kids genuinely thought he was as dumb as Ernest, but he knew it was a steady paycheck and he did still enjoy making kids happy.
He seemed like a good dude. It's a shame that he smoked.
it always makes me sad to hear when actors hated their most well known movie/character/etc but its at least nice he understand it cam with the good and the bad
i dont understand why they care so much. once you start making money and have a steady job you can just do whatever side project you want. no, you may not be able to get a leading role in the biggest historical drama of the year, but you can still act in plays that have the same style acting and stories or even produce your own
He should have cultivated a separate style from the Ernest character. You don't see Sasha Baron Cohen b***hing about how dumb Borat is.
>You don't see Sasha Baron Cohen b***hing about how dumb Borat is.
Varney just wanted to entertain people, SBC just wanted to make the goyim look stupid
Slam Dunk Ernest is my favorite. I'm 30 and tried showing my dad recently and he thought I was moronic
I remember showing Ernest to my friends years ago. They all thought he was moronic.
Save Christmas deserves to go above the power gap for the snake truck scene alone
I made this reply
before even reading your comment. Weird stuff. I'll post it.
When all the dead in Christ rise then and only then will we film in IMAX 3D Earnest Defeats the Anti-Christ!
Wilder Napalm 1993
realest thread i've seen on here in a while
JFC
why did Ernest go to jail?
he was on the jury for a murder trial, and he looked like the murderer
the murderer got his lawyer to take the jury to the prison, where the murder occured, to show the scene of the crime, and the murderer pulled the old switcheroo and now everyone thinks ernest is the murderer
oh, huh, thanks
I thought
>Earnest exposes the holocaust hoax
Was pretty daring.
Three mile Lyle kicking people out of their houses.
this big frick scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. its clear looking back on it now that the accountant or the legal guy here was clearly a israelite.
what did Jim mean by this?
this guy and tiger king are such a specific kind of southern gay. they're the only two i know of other than i guy i worked with in louisiana.
Ernest has a cute gf in Goes to Jail.
FRICK YOU for calling my homie gay.
Jim Carney is so not gay that he got metooed posthumously
ok i stand corrected. but he is a specific kind of man.
Scared Stupid is unironically one of the best halloween movies of all time.