Let us go through the Mines of Moria!

Let us go through the Mines of Moria!

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  1. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    A mine!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This isn't a mine. This is a tomb!

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        They shafted us!

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >they call it a tomb, a TOMB
        LMAO

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Let them come. There is one dwarf yet in Moria who doesn't draw breath

  2. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't they fly on eagles through the mines of moria?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's illegal

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      probably some bullshit about the eagles behind angles or something and not wanting to get involved. any LoTR lore experts here?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        he looks like he's made of bbq sauce

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why does Gandalf have a lightsaber in this picture

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's a scratch, someone scratched the book.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            You know you're lying.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          elven blade same as sting. it glows when orcs are around

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Last bridge out of Detroit

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        darkness had spread through middle earth. it was way worse than peter jackson's movies made it out to be. fact of the matter is that they believed that if they're movements were random, that Sauron could not predict them. because flying eagles to Mordor would be too predictable.
        one may also allude to the idea that God himself was guiding the fellowship. but that's too Christian theology for homosexual Hollywood to understand.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >one may also allude to the idea that God himself was guiding the fellowship

          Iluvatar directly made Gollum fall at the crack of doom.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            its because he was a sack of shit. and god hated him.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >directly
            where is it written?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              the only source on this i could remember / find was letter 192
              >"Frodo deserved all honour because he spent every drop of his power of will and body, and that was just sufficient to bring him to the destined point, and no further. Few others, possibly no others of his time, would have got so far. The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named'
              but i think gollum falling had more to do with him swearing on the ring and breaking that promise, generally in the legendarium broken oaths are taken fairly seriously and it's implied there's pretty serious ramifications

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                cool thanks for taking the time to post that.

                But, to me it's vague enough that one can't say "directly". You yourself have your own interpretation.
                It could be that Eru purposefully made oaths that serious because he knew one day it would frick over Gollum in particular. Which, I find to be a very indirect but also hilarious way for a god to intervene in his world.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                i don't think it's that specific - i think oaths work that way because they worked that way in the faerie stories and old legends tolkien was writing in the style of
                that's just sort of what people believed i guess, and that belief system comes through

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not sure what you mean by specific.
                What I'm saying is that Eru designed the world in such a way to get the desired outcome in the end. This would qualify as "intervention" but wouldn't be so mundane as Him just using magic hand on Gollum at the very end.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                i meant that i don't think the world was designed with gollum in mind

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                got ya, that's why I said it would be a hilarious interpretation.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why didn't they fly the Balrog with Mordor. It has wings right?.... right? Guys, right?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        probably some bullshit about the eagles behind angles or something and not wanting to get involved. any LoTR lore experts here?

        Why didn't they fly on eagles through the mines of moria?

        Why was the Balrog guarding a random bridge in a random mine instead of the only volcano the ring could be destroyed in?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          He wasn't guarding the bridge though?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Right... he was doing nothing until a random hobbit accidentally failed his sneak check, then the Balrog decided to guard the bridge to stop the random hobbit and his friends from crossing it, because they made a noise.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              He was chasing them, he wasn't guarding the bridge, he was just going to kill them

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The Balrog doesn't answer to Sauron, what are you talking about?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            some people just assume that all the bad guys are part of the same group, regardless of any world building that suggests otherwise.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >The Balrog doesn't answer to Sauron
            I always liked that little nuance.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Why the frick not? Isn't Saueonnsuper powerful? I mean if Glorfindal and Gandalf could both kill Balrog, surely Sauron could command them to do his bidding!

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              No he couldn't. He couldn't even use shelob or smaug. He wasn't some badass army commander. He was a sorcerer and trickster who got his ass handed to him several times first by a dog in the first age and then by gil galad and elendil at the start of the second age.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sauron just got beaten over and over huh? Just kept coming back for more. It was only after all the stronger people had left and only weaklings remained that he finally had a real chance

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yes and every time he came back, he was a little weaker.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Balrogs serve Morgoth, not some literally who lieutenant.

              Balrogs are higher ranked than Sauron in Morgoth's army

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Balrogs are higher ranked than Sauron in Morgoth's army
                No, they aren't. lmao

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                They answered to their captain Gothmog and directly to Morgoth. Sauron, while being higher ranked than any balrog, wasn't really a part of the equation.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                All this tells you is that Morgoth is a higher rank than Sauron. It doesn't say anything about Balrogs and Sauron's relative position in the command structure.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >The Balrog
            >taking orders from Sauron
            That's cute

            The narrative in the book makes it sound like he's at least cooperating with the orcs when the orcs and the balrog are chasing the company.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              do all the orcs work for sauron? aren't most of the orcs just random evil dudes who live places?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'm just reading FoTR with my son now (up to after where they peave Lorien now), so I'm not an expert. But before they go into Moria, they express concern about spies of "the Enemy," including animals like the birds. I don't remember id it said anywhere that the orcs of Moria were servants of Sauron or Saruman or in alleigance with them. This page says that Sauron had originally sent the orcs there.
                https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Moria-orcs

                But it does sound least like the balrog was cooperating with the orcs. I think some have the idea that the balrog was a free agent that only served itself, and I think the movie (which I haven't seen in 20 years) might have had the orcs run away when the balrog came, but this picture seems more true to the book

                https://www.studio54.co.uk/gallery/tolkien-gallery/
                seems to be by Paul Raymond Gregory

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I looked up the clip and, yes, the orcs run away and scamper up the walls when the balrog comes. In the book, Gandalf first encounters when the balrog earlier when he's holding the door against the orcs in the room containing Balin's tomb. Then Gandalf falls down the stairs and says he felt something powerful breaking his enchantment on the door, implying the balrog was helping the orcs break through the door. Then it sounds like the balrog chases after the company together with the orcs.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >This page says that Sauron had originally sent the orcs there.
                I think if you go just by the book, there is no explanation of why those orcs are there. It's easy enough to imagine they've just been living there for some centuries, and perhaps would join with Sauron if given the chance.
                But that being said there is more lore than just what we see in the book, some of it actually written by Tolkien himself, but there is also plenty of lore of dubious quality.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >But before they go into Moria, they express concern about spies of "the Enemy," including animals like the birds.
                It can be interpreted as forces of evil in general. Or evil as a concept, as a driving force with physical manifestations. And one group of orcs will almost certainly let another group of orcs, and thus their master(s), know everything that has happened, given enough time.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >random bridge
          it wasn't a random bridge
          >random mine
          in a random mine

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's possible the Balrog could have destroyed the ring as well. It was an living embodiment of flame and an ancient creature of with primordial powers.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >It's possible the Balrog could have destroyed the ring as well.
            No, it isn't. It could have taken and wielded the ring though. That'd be pretty fearsome.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              if that were true what was gandalf the fool thinking here? better freeze up in the mountains than make an enemy worse than the current one

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >gandalf the fool
                You said it yourself.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                if that were true what was gandalf the fool thinking here? better freeze up in the mountains than make an enemy worse than the current one

                gandalf won

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >if my enemy kills me, I win!

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >JRRHackein wants le epic wizard man to fight le epic fire lizard
                >Accidentally kill off your most powerful good guy character
                >"Oh, and uh, he came back to life!"
                What a fricking HACK

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >take norse paganism and shoehorn in all your israelite on a stick desert religion like some sort of Sonichu abomination
                >pretend it's your own original content
                Tolkien was always a hack.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >pagantroon opinion
                Hmm

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                lewischuds how will we recover

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                what Norse paganism?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                All the Dwarves names, for example
                Elves, as a concept, aswell.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Tolkien Elves couldn't be more different than Norse "elves" (that we only know about because of Catholic monks btw).

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I said as a concept, anon. But Tolkein Dwarves are literally just Norse dwarves
                I'm not the angry pagansperg that post was replying too btw, I'm just saying

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                there isnt much on alfar other than light elves and dark elves and the words are sometimes synonymous with dwarf and magical creature in general but there is an alfheim ruled by freyr i think of the vanir

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                muh REAL paganism was already distorted by monks transcribing all of the legends
                Also if he ripped off anything it was Finnish mythology

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                get back to your shit book, gurm

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Caradhras
                Certain death
                >Mine
                Goblins and some balrog b***h he can slap with Glamdring

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Gandalf didn't know that the dwarves had awoken a balrog in the mines. He knew that something evil had been unleashed there, but not what it was.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            We can conclude this is false since Dragons were Valaraukar/Fire Spirits/Balrogs given scales and corporeal bodies, and Gandalf states that not even Ancalagon the Black, the greatest dragon ever, could not have melted the one ring.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >not even Ancalagon the Black, the greatest dragon ever, could not have melted the one ring.
              Exactly this.
              I wonder how these people come up with ideas like "the Balrog could destroy it".
              What YouTube videos did they watch?
              What bits of lore did they misunderstand?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Im convinced its dead internet theory all over.
                I mean how many thousand lotr threads have we had over the years?
                How many times have someone claimed that the hobbits turn invisible because the ring bolsters their sneakiness? Every thread there are people asking these absolute entry level questions.
                I simply dont buy those turnover rates where a new batch of tards visit these threads every day. Yes the thought has occurred that they are just engagement baiting but there are much easier ways to do that

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >hobbits turn invisible because the ring bolsters their sneakiness
                kek that's a good one.
                But even if it's all baiters, there would be many more just reading it and not realizing it's bait. Then they go and spread this misinformation. It's a pox!

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >so what does the ring actually do
                >why didnt they fly
                >Why didnt Sauron guard the entrance
                We need a sticky or a pasta that covers enough of these dumbass inventions, they ruin all interesting discussions when all energy is directed toward the paste-eaters
                I would welcome flame wars over who Gil-Galads father was at this point

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I would welcome flame wars over who Gil-Galads father was at this point
                sounds incredibly autistic. I'm into it. Perhaps Cinemaphile isn't the board for it though

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                balrogs are maiar, just like sauron, and gandalf

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >not even Ancalagon the Black, the greatest dragon ever, could not have melted the one ring.
              Exactly this.
              I wonder how these people come up with ideas like "the Balrog could destroy it".
              What YouTube videos did they watch?
              What bits of lore did they misunderstand?

              >Dragons were...Balrogs given scales and corporeal bodies
              >Exactly this
              Lmao

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Le lmao because we arent pulling shit out of our ass when discussing lotr lore in a lotr thread.
                Ok buddy

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Dragons are balrogs
                Le rofl yea you guise are real lore masters fr fr on god

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                There are 3 main theories, that is the best one. Gonna cry?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              that's not what is stated at all he says he doubts there are any dragons still alive that could melt it which implies previous dragons could and leaves the possibility that lesser dragons could too

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Dragons were not maiar homosexual, morgoth creates them only during the first age

                See what I mean?
                Bait or moronation, dont know dont care.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Have we hurt your sauron boo anon, are you hard for him right now?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                "It has been said that dragon-fire could
                melt and consume the Rings of Power, but there is not now
                any dragon left on earth in which the old fire is hot enough;
                nor was there ever any dragon, not even Ancalagon the Black,
                who could have harmed the One Ring, the Ruling Ring, for
                that was made by Sauron himself."

                Oh no, you made me spend 15 sec finding the paragraph and pasting it here. Gonna cry?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Is gandalf an expert on the first age and the ring now. The guy who spent 17 yrs researching when it was right under his nose. Sorry i'm not going to take his word for it. There's no way of knowing whether dragon fire could have destroyed other than some rumour. Only sauron knew that.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                okay Mister Im-Gonna-Deconstruct-That

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                You have nothing more to say, you can't even refute that, are you going to cry now that you have no passage to copy paste?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Is gandalf an expert on the first age
                Yes. He has lived through it all. He predates it.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Dragons were not maiar homosexual, morgoth creates them only during the first age

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >The Balrog
          >taking orders from Sauron
          That's cute

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Aren't Sauron and the Balrogs pretty much equal in rank under Morgoth consider they're all maiar he seduced? Or was Sauron always his favorite b***h boy?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Sauron was Morgoth's second in command, but the Balrogs were much stronger. Strong enough to scare Ungoliant who herself was stronger than Morgoth.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Then how did Gandalf slay a Balrog?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Then how did Gandalf slay a Balrog?
                You should read about my boy Ecthelion.
                >There Gothmog lord of Balrogs beat down Egalmoth, but Ecthelion came inbetween despite being pale as steel. During the duel, Ecthelion was wounded in the hand and lost his sword. Gothmog then was about to deliver a blow with his whip when Ecthelion jumped and drove the spike of his helmet into Gothmog's body. Twining his legs with the enemy's, both fell into the Fountain of the King. Gothmog died there with Ecthelion, sank because of his steel armor.
                https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Ecthelion

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Sauron at his peak was more powerful than any Balrog by far. These days the Balrog probably could've taken him.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sauron was as powerful as he was mostly due to the dark sorcery he learned from Morgoth, and he is an exceedingly dangerous manipulator, but in terms of raw power the Balrogs surpass him.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Sauron was the most powerul of all Maias, he was lesser only to Ainur who themselves were demigods. Equalling him to fiery dragons doesn’t do him justice, no. Not even gothmog the Great would stand a chance

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Sauron was the most powerul of all Maias
                Headcanon. He was a very powerful Maia, but not necessarily the most powerful. Eonwe, Osse, Melian to name a few were on par. Sauron is kind of a b***h actually when you consider his combat track record.
                >Not even gothmog the Great would stand a chance
                Come on. Gothmog spearheaded pretty much every assault during the first age along with Glaurung while Sauron was cowering in his tower fricking his werewolf servants.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sauron being a furgay explains so much.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Sauron was the most powerful of Aulë's maia, but not confirmed to be the most powerful of all of the maia. Sauron's strongest powers are his craftsmanship and his trickery.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          We Balrogs do as we please.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            you're a Balrog?
            Please explain this

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              That's the most autistic looking balrog I've ever seen. It even has a tard helmet on. Say what you want about the Jackson films, the Balrog was done pretty well there.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                What about Bakshi's balrog?
                This movie is objectively not good at all but I think I've watched it so many times "as a joke" that I've memed myself into liking it for real

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                it looks like a turd with a lobster tail

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                he looks like he's made of bbq sauce.

                also I wonder how many artists made embarrassing depicting of the Balrog thinking they'd never be seen, but now we have autists on the internet finding and sharing these images because LoTR became a wildly successful movie trilogy.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                the books were popular before the film was. The hobbit hobbit sold 100 mill copies and the tolken estate says lotr sold 150 mill copies (harder to figure out exact sales numbers for the lotr because it was sold in 1, 3 and 7 book formats vs the 1 book hobbit)

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Poorly drawn fs

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Zestrog

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                its a lion minotaur with flared 70s pants, I dont see what the problem is

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Söyrog

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Looks like a dried log of shit.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                this scene is so fricking cool

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The opening of Two Towers was so unexpected and badass

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                I'd love a story about someone exploring these deep caverns and finding out about the things that lurk in them

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                the other two movies were pure capeshit

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Where did they even land? I'm legit questioning this. Ins't this some bottomless pit?

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                No, don't you remember? There's a big lake down there, in a massive cave

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                There's a giant lake, big enough to be a sea or an ocean even, presumably full of unknowable and abominable horrors, below the mountains that Gandalf and the 'rog fell into. From there they climbed back up to the top of the mountains, fighting the entire way until Gandalf finally smeared his ass across the rocks and died shortly after

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                The opening of Two Towers was so unexpected and badass

                Lmao nerds

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                Jackson's Balrog is so fricking cool it hurts, but the irony is that he created a far more book accurate Balrog when showing Sauron in the Hobbit. A dreadful, man shaped demon of flame and shadow.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                These effects still stand up it's kinda crazy

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >physical embodiment of the heart of darkness
              >looks like an Anglo
              Sounds about right

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Spite.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The bridge is the only way across and the mine isn't random, it's the only place mithril (adamantium) is mined.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >not my problem

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The Balrog has nothing to do with Sauron and besides that the Mines are directly connected to the depths where he likely came from. Use your brain homosexual

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >why wasn't satan guarding stalin's palace
          the balrog wasn't sent by sauron or saruman, dude just lived there and was basically an angel or some shit

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            He took to unyielding sleep until the End of Times basically

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >mine

          A mine!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why didn't they fly the Balrog with Mordor. It has wings right?.... right? Guys, right?

      [...]
      [...]
      Why was the Balrog guarding a random bridge in a random mine instead of the only volcano the ring could be destroyed in?

      no more questions

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      that's why gandalf says the line
      FLY YOU FOOLS
      he means they should fly and not walk like morons

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        huh

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Deepest lore

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I think he was just memeing

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Sir, a second eagle has hit Durin's Tower.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      strict traffic ordinances

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      ?si=0jD301XOkEc59uzg

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        >uhh like shut up
        Sad. He was in the RAF, right? Those beasts Nazguls rode could serve as a perfectly good deterrent. Not to mention any archers.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Sad.
          >NO PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO APPARENT WHY THE CANT DO IT
          >gets told to stfu
          >hehe i won

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How do you think Gandalf got down the mountain?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      There's no proof in the text that eagles have wings

  3. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Drunken frickbrain

  4. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    LET THE RING BEARER DECIDE
    >frodo, you motherfricker if you frick this up for me

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Gandalf is just a moron

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Can I get a quick rundown on the pros and cons of my options?
      >No.

  5. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
  6. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Let us go through the orc infested hellish pit with the giant demonic monster that killed our ancient king forcing us to abandon it for centuries thereafter!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      They didn't know. They heard whispers of something foul about the Mines, nothing more

  7. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    so why did the (majority of) elves just abandon middle earth to fate
    >blah blah failing power
    Magic doesn't shoot an arrow. Do they not go to elf heaven if they die on middle earth?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      because the angels wanted the elves to live in paradise with them as the angels' servants and it physically pains the elves not to go to paradise. Galadriel is only in middle earth because she wants to be a queen and not a servant

  8. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    How would Sauron's tax policy be impacted if they tied the ring to a mouse and let it fly through mines of moria

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      I think it would make Sauron's job policy seem like a bunch of hot air

  9. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw no movie where sauron with sauron's man team up with gandalf the fool and his group of midgets to defeat satan incarnate now made possible with the power of the ring

  10. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The mines of KISHISHISHISHIIIII!

  11. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    frick off dwarf

  12. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      neato, this really makes me want to live in bag end. I wonder if I can walk through it virtually?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Closest you have is Lotro, but it's a 17 year old game with shite graphics

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's a 17 year old game with shite graphics that costs a little under $300 total (plus tip).

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Oh yea it's really fricking expensive to get into compared to more modern MMOs.
            I remember the original game being very comfy, I spent more than I am willing to admit on it over the years. But I wouldn't go back.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            water you talking about? it's free to play

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah but not really. Just the base game and some irrelevant content. You still have to buy expansions, quest zones, individual quests and pay for your subscription on top of the boosts you kind of need from the egregious in-game cash shop in order to have a decently paced game.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                >You still have to buy expansions, quest zones, individual quests and pay for your subscription
                You don't need to do any of that.
                If I just want to frick around in the game for 5-10 hours I'm sure the free version will do nicely.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              The first few hours are pretty nice but it falls off REALLY fast when the leveling starts going from slow to glacial to tectonic.
              Once youre past Weathertop, its borderline unplayable

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                That sucks, thanks for the heads-up.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's a 17 year old game with shite graphics that costs a little under $300 total (plus tip).

          Oh yea it's really fricking expensive to get into compared to more modern MMOs.
          I remember the original game being very comfy, I spent more than I am willing to admit on it over the years. But I wouldn't go back.

          water you talking about? it's free to play

          Yeah but not really. Just the base game and some irrelevant content. You still have to buy expansions, quest zones, individual quests and pay for your subscription on top of the boosts you kind of need from the egregious in-game cash shop in order to have a decently paced game.

          Unironically the LOTR MMO Amazon is working on will probably be less predatory than fricking LOTRO.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        sort of. It's not perfect and the outside isn't the Shire, but it's hobbity

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          cool I like it

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        no you'd bump your head you'd have to crawl

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'll just duck when I'm g - ACK

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      don't go down the tunnel in the Cold Cellar. There's a Balrog down there

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        then it would be a hot cellar dumbass

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Was Bilbo a boomer? No one else can afford a Hole like his.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It was all stolen dragon money

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >no bathroom

      where did he shit and bathe?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        don't need one, bagshot row was designated

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        outside? no electricity and gas too, barbarism!

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Pee anywhere outside
        poo in designated areas so it can be used as fertilizer, this is also how they get rid of their food waste
        washing yourself only requires a bucket of water, a rag, and some soap

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Storage

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      How much property tax did Bilbo pay on a place like this?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        He was the richest person in all The Shire. And it was eventually gifted to Samwise to house his enormous family and as The Mayor's residence

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          >He was the richest person in all The Shire
          and how many jobs did he create with that wealth?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            One position for a israeli accountant.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Sam and his Gaffer as gardeners/groundskeepers
            At least a couple dozen party organizers and caterers for his eleventy-first birthday
            Professional Dúnedain assassins to eliminate the S*ckville Baggins menace

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            he was landed gentry

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >no toilet but dedicated hotbox room

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >this is what a minimum wage job got you in 1993

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >this is what a writer could afford in 1341
      also jesus fricking christ
      >room just for smoking
      >2 extra rooms, just because
      >4 fricking halls

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Bilbo is a local aristocrat and the house has been in the Baggins family for centuries. He lives on a combination of dwarven gold, rents from poorgay hobbits, and maybe the odd investment in business ventures.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Don't forget his slave sam

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This costs 1.2 million dollars in current economy.

  13. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    more like minds of mencia

  14. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    I heard they have looong shafts down there 😉

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      This joke doesn't make any sense because although you are obviously referring to a phallus, the analogy doesn't withstand scrutiny. A penis is more-or-less a solid object that takes up volume. A penis is thus a positive space, which goes directly to the sex act. The positive space of the penis penetrates the hole, the void, the negative space of the vegana. A mine shaft is also a negative space, not a positive space like a penis. This is where your suggestive reply falls apart.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm rubber you are glue man what the frick why did you have to do me like that.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        You made an excellent analysis.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        fricking wrecked his ass with FACTS and LOGIC

  15. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      they address this in the book, and reject it because it would take them through unfriendly lands

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's funny when LOTR starts it seems all peaceful and idyllic, but if you look at the map and think about it a bit, 90% of Middle Earth is hostile, dangerous, full of monsters or some other danger. Anyone going from point A to point B can expect to fight something dangerous along the way

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Someone mentions (aragorn or gandalf) that the shire is safe because the rangers guard its borders.
          But I do believe all this danger is a recent development because evil is returning.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            Weren't the barrows dangerous before recent events?

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yes.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yes.

              Imagine screwing around in your backyard, travelling a bit too far and stumbling upon old tombs with undead inside
              And to think the barrow downs are closer to the Shire than bree

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              From like 1200 on or some shit, the witch king manipulated three local king into civil war

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            The danger was always there, but Sauron's growing strength exacerbated it.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's funny when LOTR starts it seems all peaceful and idyllic, but if you look at the map and think about it a bit, 90% of Middle Earth is hostile, dangerous, full of monsters or some other danger. Anyone going from point A to point B can expect to fight something dangerous along the way

        Someone mentions (aragorn or gandalf) that the shire is safe because the rangers guard its borders.
        But I do believe all this danger is a recent development because evil is returning.

        Weren't the barrows dangerous before recent events?

        >be aragorn
        >know the area is dangerous
        >be a ranger from the north
        >know the ring bearer is going to show up in bree and is being followed by the black riders
        >show up to bree with literally no weapons other than a broken sword
        >have to fight the black riders with a torch because lol broken sword
        >go to rivendell
        >leave rivendell with only 8 other dudes and the following weapons and armor between all of you, despite knowing you plan to march through unfriendly territory
        >3 human swords
        >1 shield
        >1 wizard staff
        >an elven ring of power
        >1 dorf ax
        >1 dorf suit of armor
        >1 elf bow
        >1 knife
        >4 hobbit swords
        >1 hobbit suit of armor

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          Aragorn not having a sword is pretty gay. Just carry around an extra normal sword with your broken sword, damn.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          You forgot Gandalf's sword of Elven make: Glamdring.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            If you want to say it that way, its 2 human swords (anduril and boromir's sword), 1 elf sword (glamdring), 1 elf dagger (sting), 3 barrow blades, gandalf's staff, boromir's shield, legalas's bow and knife and gimili's ax and armor

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >the bad guy lives in uuuhhhhhhh... MURDER!
      BRAVO TOLKIEN

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        More Door. It's completely different. It's because during his childhood he lived in a town with many doors.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Watcher of Moria grabbed Frodo first probably because of the ring. Imagine what terror would grab them in the high sea

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        maybe a huge mermaid could grab thier ship with ther breasts

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      mount doom is in the north west of mordor so they would have needed to cross basically all of mordor by foot to get there, after finding a pass through the mountains of shadow

  16. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Isn’t the Balrog man-sized, but takes up a lot of space and seem larger than he is, because of the shadow surrounding him?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      No, that's your mom.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        My mom doesn’t have shadow wings though and she is shorter than me.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          she whips you tho

  17. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're telling me they walked nearly 800km underground?
      Not to talk of the size of those halls.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        No, about 64km

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          more like 40 or 50km

          Then what exactly is meant by "a scale of twenty leagues"? The full size of the map?

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            that map is a bunch of head cannon, though honestly it's pretty cool. Just replace the scale with something more reasonable.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah I figured so, but wasn't sure if we were out in "league" having forty different definitions depending on the country/time period.

            • 5 months ago
              Anonymous

              >that map is a bunch of head [canon],
              Not at all. All maps within the Atlas are based on Christopher's own maps, and any extra detail comes from any specific excerpt of the books; at the most you may call it educating guessing.

              • 5 months ago
                Anonymous

                This map

                isn't from the atlas.

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            >that map is a bunch of head [canon],
            Not at all. All maps within the Atlas are based on Christopher's own maps, and any extra detail comes from any specific excerpt of the books; at the most you may call it educating guessing.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        more like 40 or 50km

  18. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    what did the balrog look like in the books

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      like text

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      fiery demon surrounded by shadows that sometimes look like wings

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      It didnt have wings for one, another shining example of illiterate people that just want to frick every thread up

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Wings are mentioned, metaphorical though they may be.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          If I stand above a light source and cast two shadows up on the ceiling and walls, I havent grown wings no

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's Smoke from Ferngully! He looks like he sings too!

  19. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Would I survive the mines if I were a hot, lusty bimbo?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      If by 'survive' you mean taken captive and used as a breeding sow by the goblins, then yes

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        What if the Balrog needed a blowie?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like this one a lot. It's not overly epic like the movie, but it's also not moronic like many of the other renditions.
        Do we know who the artist is? I'd like to look up more.

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          https://www.studio54.co.uk/gallery/tolkien-gallery/
          seems to be by Paul Raymond Gregory

  20. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >We will never get a Fall of Gondolin series
    Feels fricking bad

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      You really want that with the state of current year television?

  21. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    but an ad

  22. 5 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ayo looks like Iowa fr fr.

  23. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those who are closest to him… those he professes to love
    Isn't saruman right here? Gandalf pretty much sent frodo and co to a suicide mission and he would usually put people into dangerous mission for his mission, like what happened with bilbo and thorin, and the later fricking died.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Saruman lost the path and didn't get it. That's Gandalf doing his job resisting Sauron's evil and putting people on their paths to destiny.

  24. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Better question, why didn't the Fellowship take the route Aragorn took when he captured and brought Gollum to the elves/Gandalf to confirm the magical ring's origin? Sure it goes through Murkwood into the marshes but that didn't stop Aragorn from traversing it, and you bypass half the moronic deathtraps they walked into like Moria.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      well for one thing, that route you highlighted is entirely east of the misty mountains. the fellowship started west of the misty mountains.
      but apart from that minor detail, good idea!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      As other anon said, they started on the west side of the mountains. Originally they thought of taking the Mountain Pass which the Dwarves took in the Hobbit which would have lead directly to the route on the map, but the weather and Goblins spotted in the pass prohibited it. Then it was going to be the Gap of Rohan, but that took them too close to Isengard and Saruman. Then it was over the mountain, which fricked them up, again because of the weather.
      Moria doesn't seem like the absolute worst option. As long as they were quiet the biggest threat that they knew about was getting lost, and Gandalf had that part covered. Pippin getting bored and dropping a stone into a well was the only reason it all went wrong, and even then they would have made it out alive if not for the Balrog which absolutely nobody saw coming.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Where were these guy's kingdoms? There were supposed to be nine other human kingdoms at some point. Just in the north at Angmar? You'd think they'd have an undead army around them instead of just being nine ghosts who weren't particularly skilled warriors.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why didn't the Nine go around poking lots of people to have a horde of Wraiths at their command?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          These dudes had to suffer for the power. Why give it away for free?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          They did, that’s why Angmar was filled with ghost and Mirkwood evil

  25. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Balrog was just hanging out down there, minding his own business. Could he be charged with any crimes?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The balrog was an old man living peacefully until a bunch of armed intruders barged into his attic. By all rights he could bring this up to Manwe, but the valar system is plagued by favoritism.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous
  26. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Who runs ShireTown?
    >s-sharkey...
    >Say loud. WHO runs ShireTown?!
    >Sharkey runs ShireTown!

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      He made worktongue eat the sacksvilke hobit

  27. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >watching fotr behind the scenes
    >near the end realise I'd rather just rewatch the films instead
    Welp time to fire them up again

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The extended versions, right?

  28. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw hard drive isnt fast enough to play LOTR at 1x speed

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >180gb
      the frick

      The extended versions, right?

      Sure. Those are the 'best' version, right?

  29. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Was gimli moronic? How could he expect moria to be a jolly happy place?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The movie turned Gimli into a joke character. In the book he wanted to go to Moria because he'd lost contact with Balin and he was worried something bad had happened. But he still had hope that dwarven colony was holding out. Not even Gandalf specifically knew a balrog was hanging in there so it seemed like a reasonable risk.

  30. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    whats the deal with the nameless things, so old and ancient and unknown.

    ?si=2z_CDFCtLsicJWfw

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The only things I'm happy to remain nameless and unexplored

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Lovecraft crossover.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >this thing is so ancient it doesn't even have a name
      >makes a Magic card for it
      What a bunch of hacks.

  31. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >taunts and squares up against a Nazgul and lives

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Potatoes give me courage!

  32. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Going to rewatch the films for the first time in a decade. Theatre or extended?

  33. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Arda has the best mountain names, my favourite being Thangorodrim. Anon, what is your favourite?

  34. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't the Balrog trigger the mines?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      A being made of shadow and flame weighs next to nothing.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        But the bridge collapsed under his weight. Was it a shoddy work?

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          We have to keep in mind there must have been weight limits.
          Gandalf, the balrog, and Gandalf's massive balls.

  35. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Which edition should I watch, dvd or bluray?

  36. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Speaking of which, how the FRICK did Gollum follow the Fellowship when the bridge collapsed?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      He took the elevator

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      slowly

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >how the FRICK did Gollum follow
      a helpful push from Eru

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The same way the Orcs did, they fixed the bridge.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The eagles gave him a ride.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        That actually makes sense yeah

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      He can climb on walls and shit

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Might I interest you in a recently released video game that answers this question and every other question you ever had about Gollum?

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        lemme guess, he parkoured across some conveniently placed ledges and rocks? maybe a small cave was involved?

  37. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    now i really want to play dorffort

  38. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    *sips tea*
    they sure don't make them like they used to lads

  39. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >NOOOOOOOO
    >YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE MUSIC THE WAY I WANT
    >REEEEEEEEE
    Frick you I won't do what you tell me.

  40. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    15 minutes ago the LOTR trilogy was flawless to me. This thread just destroyed everything I've always loved about it. Thanks Cinemaphile!

  41. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    MY COUSIN BALIN WOULD GIVE US A ROYAL WELCOME

  42. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Be Balrog
    >Retire after war
    >Find a deep hole in the middle of the mountain to live in away from everyone
    >Greedy dwarves wake you up looking for gold
    >Alright please leave me alone
    >Random hobos + Wizard home invade you next
    >Please leave me alone
    >They murder you
    >Its ok because you're evil

    What the frick was Tolkien's problem?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >What the frick was Tolkien's problem?
      The balrog is that enemy soldier who thought that he could hide away and live quietly after the war. He forgot that in the end it'll always catch up with you.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      Can't escape the Mossad.

  43. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't the Balrog just wait for Frodo inside of Mt Doom and gotten the ring for himself?

  44. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    threadly reminder that maia is the singular form and maiar is the plural form
    friendly reminder that comparing power levels like it's a video game is irrelevant headcanonery

  45. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    LOTR is for childrren

  46. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    why didn't they just throw the ring down the chasm the balrog fell down?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      cause then Sauron would send a servant to get it. Or a nameless thing would find it and probably bring it to Sauron or get captured by Sauron

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      The only way to defeat Sauron was by destroying the ring.

      • 5 months ago
        Anonymous

        also a good point. as we see in the movie Sauron could've won with just his armies alone. then after conquering all the way to Moria he could retrieve the ring

        • 5 months ago
          Anonymous

          The only way to defeat Sauron was by destroying the ring.

          hgmm well it seems like from the time the ring was made until the book, it wasn't reeally an issue

          • 5 months ago
            Anonymous

            uh maybe you should rewatch the intro bit of the movie again

  47. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    this was a great LOTR thread, but it must fade as all things do.

  48. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

    Could Radaghast beat a Balrog? Would he come back as Radaghast the White? or Radaghast the Green?

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Could Radaghast beat a Balrog?
      No. Gandalf was 2nd or 3rd strongest of the Istari, depending on Alatar, and even with plot armor he fricking died. Radaghast was the weakest or second weakest of the Istari, depending on Pallando. A balrog would eat him for breakfast.

    • 5 months ago
      Anonymous

      radaghast the diarrhea

  49. 5 months ago
    Anonymous

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