>let's turn Jurassic Park into a comedy series
>failed to turn dinosaurs into giant chickens
What a missed opportunity.
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>let's turn Jurassic Park into a comedy series. >failed to turn dinosaurs into giant chickens
dinosaurs were always gay moron shit for gay moron babies
Wrong.
>>he would rather indulge a fake reality than cope with the truth
tell me youre a troony without telling me youre a troony
> >>
>reddit spacing
>ugh, söyance is real m'kay!
Tell me you're from reddit without telling me you're from reddit
moronic redditer the post
seething feathercuck the post
world was dogshit all the way
kingdom had some horror moments
haven't seen 3rd one
>kingdom had some immensely dumb horror moments that have no place in a stupid dino movie
ftfy
reminded me dino crisis and thats why i liked it a bit but still its like 6/10 at best
>kingdom had some horror moments
I liked when the hero was crawling away from the cartoon lava, and even though he was directly next to the lava, he didn't catch on fire because the lava has to physically touch you to make you combust.
I also liked the dinosaur that could shrink itself to chase Claire and the nerder wherever they stood in the shot, even up the tiny pipe that was barely big enough for a human to fit through.
It's even funnier that a dino would chase some rather small prey in a literal lava waterfall room. But all dinos in the World flicks are brainless Saturday morning cartoon monsters that roar all the time and would do literally anything to eat a human. A completely 180° from how Crichton and Spielberg wanted them to be seen in the originals.
And yet Dominion focused on the bugs specifically because Trevorrow thought that being animals, dinosaurs would not spend all their time on the mainland destroying cities like a Dinosaurs Attack card.
You mean the guy that made raptors chase a motorcycle through the streets and roofs of Venice?
You mean the last gasp of the "We've trained raptors to be military attack dogs" subplot?
yes, that mega moronic shit.
You know who's better than raptors in every way? Tigers. Why don't we have military tigers?
Tigers can count and work door handles?
Yes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYFIV5NV7m4
Also, what's the point of 'count' or any intellect if the whole point is that they become mindless drones that are navigated by a laser pointer? You know what's better than a raptor as a killing weapon? A tiger. Where are military tigers.
Yeah, I almost shut it off at that part.
>evilsaurus gets lava dripped on its head
>this doesn't cause it to run away, it just roars some more and continues to chase the humans
Fallen Kino is great. Finally doing something interesting with these dinos.
In the "so bad it's good" way? Kinda yeah, it's so monumentally terrible it's a fun cringe watch with friends.
This and also adds cool idea with blowing that fricking island to hell.
It's okay, they already announced Jurassic World 4. They cloned Dennis Nedry, now it's a Nedry Park, run away or he'll eat you.
>This and also adds cool idea with blowing that fricking island to hell.
Kinda weird that they made such a big deal about that island when there are four other islands with dinos on them, as stated in JP2.
>indooraptor
>goes outdoor
>dies
remake when?
Chicken World
How do you respond without sounding mad?
But everybody knows dinos loved Jesus and let him ride on them.
Jesus Raptor confirms.
Is Raptor Jesus a joke to you?
BIG
FEATHERED
LIE
So will it be revealed in Jurassic World 4 that these films are now part of the Monsterverse?
ayo hol up
so yo be sayun
we wuz birds n sheit
SHIEEEEET
They should've made Bryce Dallas Howard get accidently injected with dino DNA in the second movie where she becomes the antagonist of the film as a 200 ft man eating giantess. she becomes queen of the dinosaurs and it's up to Chris Pratt's character to stop her. He goes out into the jungle with a spec ops team to hunt her down and tranquilize, but one by one they are hunted down devoured and crushed by her and her dinos. Idk what the third movie would be.
I just want porn with Bryce Dallas Howard.
I wanna see her swallow a live goldfish whole for a role in a movie.
Dino bawds
>Jurassic Park
My favourite movie. Near flawless.
>Lost World
Good movie. Has problems. Biased because of the first one. Loved it anyway.
>JP3
Bad movie. Has a lot of problems. Biased because of the first one. Enjoyed it the first time. Was unsure the second time. Was disappointed the third time. The Spinosaurus was decent. The set pieces were cool. The actors were good. The plot just wasn't substantial and it was underwhelming by the last act.
>World
Initially placed this above JP3 and just a bit under the lost world. But after rewatching it, and after careful consideration, I've decided not to endorse Jurassic World at all. What little it does which is distinct from JP is nonsense - only clever thing is the meta commentary - but it smacks of hypocrisy. I liked looking at Bryce Dallas Howard. I liked the fight against Indominus at the end. I liked Pajeet Hammond. But the raptor plot was moronic. The high heels were moronic. The teenage boys never felt in danger and their family oriented plot was lame, they were boring. The comedy cheapened the film. I took it way less seriously than JP3, which is nuts considering the scenes of raptors talking (both in a dream and literally).
>Fallen Kingdom
I enjoyed the opening sequence, however, just after it ended I concluded the movie was going to be garbage. It immediately made no sense, the operation to get the Indominus DNA was completely moronic and implied there was no backup samples of that dinosaur - anywhere at all. Pure spectacle over substance. Immediately worse than JPIII. Film continued to devolve into shlock. The little girl. The dinosaur rights activist. The nerdy slapstick mulatto (who was surprisingly good in D&D but not in this shit). The le evil hunter. The volcano sequence. The sleeping rex scene. The mansion auction. The clone schmoltz releasing of the dinosaurs. The 'this changes the world' bullshit. Horse crap.
>Dominion
Didn't watch because I'm fricking done.